Part Eight: Never

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“Hey” I speak responding to her ‘hello’. “I need your help with something” I begin before explaining.

“Thank you very much” I bid goodbye and hang up the phone.

Yesterday I realized something I didn’t want to realize, ever. I quickly get dressed, throwing light blue jeans on with an oversized knit sweater.

“I let out a deep sigh, and sit on the edge of my bed. Opening my side table drawer, I take out every note from her. I open each one by one, in order by date. Within the hour I relive my past two year relationship through her written words. Keeping my composure, I place each of the letters into a small decorative box, stacking them atop one another on one side. I head to my closet, reaching up I grab a large cardboard moving box from the top shelf. I sigh, placing the box to the ground. I open the box, framed photographs from my childhood lay facing me. A photograph of me and my father on top. I smile to stop my tear from rolling. I walk to the far side of my room, taking the photograph of myself and Madisen off my wall. I head back to the box, placing the frame in and smiling. I look up and out my window, over the city and to the mountains in the near distance. I walk from my room, plugging in my cellphone to my laptop. I effortlessly move all the photos of Madisen from my phone to a USB stick. Unplugging my phone I delete all those photos and unplug the USB which now hold each of them. I return to my room, tossing the USB into the box. I grab a few other items from around my apartment. An electric blue sweater she had given me as a gift, but always wore more often than me. A coffee mug from my cabinet, her gift to me our first Christmas. I grab everything which could possibly be a heavy reminder in my mind of her and place it into the box. Lastly I walk back towards my nightstand, opening the drawer once again, I take my last letter to her and the engagement ring in my hand. The box nearly full, I place it’s last belonging items inside. My letter lay open, it’s words visible. I open the velvet box in my hand. The ring glimmers back at me in the overcast lighting. A tear slips from my eye. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. I gaze back at the ring. “Never” I state, tipping the top of the box over and allowing it to snap closed. Never.

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