Chapter 18-  Hurting Is A Process

“H-hey. I-I’m erm…sorry.” Wonwoo slide backwards, leaning on the wall as he felt all his energy depleting.

“. Not now. Not now.” Wonwoo cursed, trying to find his phone to speed dial Jihoon, as he started to pant heavily. His breathing was unstable. Jihoon said to breathe in and out. Calm down Jeon Wonwoo. Get a hold of youself. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. Wonwoo tried calmed himself down. Mingyu was staring at Wonwoo, eyebrows creased together. Before he could bend down to ask the boy what was wrong, a wild Jihoon appeared.

“Yah! Jeon Wonwoo! Are you alright? Did you get hurt? What happened? Is it another one of your anxiety attacks?” Jihoon was worried. Jihoon ran off to look for Wonwoo after talking to Seungcheol. He wanted to let the boy know that Mingyu was in the class he led. He didn’t want to give Wonwoo any surprises.

“J-jihoonie…I-its…acting…up…again……I-I can’t…breathe…dizzy…” Wonwoo breathed out uneasily. His face was turning pale. He was gasping for air. Jihoon knew Wonwoo was not in a stable situation. He would never call him ‘Jihoonie’ unless it was urgent.

“. . . Jeon Wonwoo! Get a hold of yourself! Breathe in. Out. In. Out. I’m going to get you to the infirmary now okay! Stay awake! Breathe Jeon!” Jihoon shouted, trying to lift Wonwoo’s limp body. Wonwoo was not very heavy, but his long limbs were dangling off Jihoon’s small frame.

“Hyung! Let me help you!” Mingyu offered, placing his hand on Jihoon’s shoulder. He had been standing there, observing the two for the past minutes. Mingyu may not have wanted anything to do with Wonwoo ever since he left 8 years ago, but he couldn’t just watch the two struggle.

“No. You will make things worse. Just call Seungcheol hyung and tell him that Wonwoo’s having one of his attacks. Get him to cover up for Won. Now.” Jihoon spat before dragging Wonwoo’s limp body across the hallways, making his way to the infirmary.

“Jihoonie-ah…t-thanks. I-I would’ve…d-died without…you.” Wonwoo mumbled. He felt dizzy. Very dizzy in fact. He felt like he was floating in air. As soon as Jihoon got to the infirmary, the nurse there assisted him in carrying Wonwoo onto the bed.

“Won ah! I have to get to my duties. I’ll text Jun to take care of you alright! Call me once you feel better! Sorry!” Jihoon said before running out of the infirmary to his assigned station. That was the last thing Wonwoo heard before he slipped into a world of darkness.

~Wonwoo’s dream~

Wonwoo was now standing in his old room which he shared with Mingyu at the orphanage. He saw two little boys laying on his old bed.

“You know. You stand a really special place in my heart. I will never forgive myself if something happens to you. Promise me. You will never leave?” Little Mingyu said as he held out his pinky for little Wonwoo to hook. Little Wonwoo sobbed into little Mingyu’s embrace, not wanting to make an empty promise. Mingyu hugged him even tighter, rubbing his back and whispering ‘Everything’s going to be okay.’

A bright light blinded Wonwoo. He was now on the roof of the orphanage. He saw himself and Mingyu laying on the roof, admiring the stars.

“Well if it was the other guys I would feel that way. But…if it was you…I don’t think I would want to stay here any longer…” Mingyu said, breaking the silence. Wonwoo gulped. He remembered what little Mingyu was about to say.

A frown graced Mingyu’s face, “Because…you’re the most important person to me right now. Before you came, I was always staying in that room alone. I was envious that the others had someone they could sleep with, share their troubles with, laugh and cry with. And when I finally heard someone was going to share a room with me, I was so excited. I didn’t even sleep the night before.”

“Mingyu-ah. I’m sorry. Really sorry.” Wonwoo cried, kneeling beside little Mingyu. But Mingyu couldn’t hear him at all. It was a dream after all.

Back to reality…

“Won-ah! Wake up! It’s just a dream! Won! Jeon Wonwoo!” Jun raised his voice, shaking Wonwoo violently by his shoulder. Wonwoo jolted awake, tears flowing down his cheeks. He was shaking his head, mumbling ‘Mingyu-ah, I’m sorry. I really am.’

“Hey! Hey! What happened?! I thought you stopped having those dreams a long time ago?” Jun asked, trying to get Wonwoo to face him. Wonwoo only shook his head, mumbling the same thing from before. Jun figured that Mingyu must have enrolled in Pledis High without knowing a thing. And Wonwoo must have met him.

“You…met him…?” Jun asked cautiously. He didn’t want to trigger another one of those attacks. Wonwoo wiped the tears off his cheeks, gradually calming down. He nodded his head before hugging his knees closely to his chest. He let out a sigh.

“H-he…didn’t seem very…pleased. To see me. Just…as I expected.” Wonwoo stuttered. Wonwoo knew that if he were to ever meet Mingyu, the boy would most probably hate him. Not want to talk to him or even see him. And he might be right based on how annoyed Mingyu looked when Wonwoo bumped into him previously.

Jun sighed. He should have saw this coming. But no one could have predicted that Wonwoo would be assigned to Mingyu’s class. Even though the nurse insisted that Wonwoo stay in the infirmary for the rest of the day, the boy persisted on leaving. He didn’t want to throw all his responsibilities to Seungcheol. Seungcheol had more than he could handle. Wonwoo didn’t want another lecture from Mr Kim about how he couldn’t handle simple and basic responsibilities. Wonwoo opened the student council group chat and he saw that the freshies were all in the auditorium having a talk on the various classes they could take. He looked at the time. 11am. The talk lasted for an hour and after that the freshies were free to go have lunch till 12pm. He only needed to stay with them for an hour before getting another break.

“Are you sure about this Won? You know you don’t have to force yourself. It’s going to be super draining if you get another attack. And nobody’s going to save your like Jihoon did just now!” Jun was on the verge of pulling out his hair. This sloth was one stubborn sloth. There was no way of talking Wonwoo out of something when he has made up his mind.

“I’ll be fine. If I ever faint there. It’ll make a good impression on the freshies. Jeon sunbae risks his health to lead the freshies. How touching and heroic would that be. I’ll be the one writing that headline for our school newspaper. Tr