Chapter 10// Kill Me

Sungjong slowly rose, but back ached and his legs felt like stones, similar to his heart that was dragging down the rest of his body. He glanced around the dim room that was illuminated with sunlight. He could feel the warmth that was coming from the fireplace, it felt like what a home should feel like. Crowded, books and clothes lying around. It was the opposite of the Kim’s mansion, a cold dark place where no human should have to endure. It felt like a dungeon with how dim most of it was due to the fact that only two people used the whole estate on a regular basis. 

Sungjong threw the blankets off his body, he slowly stepped off the bed, tiptoeing to the entrance to the room. He could faintly see Sungyeol sleeping on his leather couch. Sungjong slipped on his dress shoes and looked behind him, faintly seeing a Sungyeol who was peacefully sleeping. Sungjong opened the door letting the cold harsh air hit him. The bitter air stung his face and hands, it felt like a needle was being dragged along his arms, cutting into the flesh to reveal blood.

Sungjong quickly shook his head, what was he thinking about? The idea of blood scared him. Sungjong stared at the sky, the hues of blue were slowly turning a bright purple then a blood red color. Sungjong slowly started to walk back, his back pressed up against Sungyeol’s door. His breath quickened. 

He blinked once, twice, three times, but the blood red sky never disappeared. Sungjong slapped his wrist, trying to convince himself that he was no longer dreaming. As soon as Sungjong stretched open his eyes once more, the sky was a beautiful shade of baby blue, the fluffy white cloud slowly floated to the north and a small breeze whistled against his face. 

He started to run. It wasn’t time to start imagining what it would be like to float with the clouds. Not yet.

He had to run. He had to escape the love that Sungyeol gave him. He knew that he didn’t deserve the strange feelings that Sungyeol gave him. He didn’t deserve the warmth that Sungyeol enveloped him in. He knew that. He knew that he wasn’t worth cherishing. He was filthy. Myungsoo even said so.

Sungjong knew where he came from. He came to trash. Once trash, always trash. Sungjong closed his eyes and blindly ran, tears dripping down his milky white cheeks. ‘Don’t stop, run, run to where you belong. Run to where you’ll be safe,’ was the only thing that he could hear. He never stopped running. 

Sungjong stopped suddenly. Where was he going? Was he truly going to run back from where he came from. Sungjong slowly started walk forward, the Kim’s estate was in the distant. The large mansion could not be hidden. 

Sungjong shook his head, where was he? Where did he belong? He knew that it was bad to take advantage of the ‘home’ that Sungyeol gave him. He couldn’t live with the fact that Sungyeol would have allowed him to stay there, he would be a hindrance to Sungyeol. He couldn’t allow Sungyeol to think the same way the Myungsoo did. 

The shivering boy slowly walked towards the mansion. The sky was blood red, but he ignored it. He saw that his footsteps behind him were red, staining the perfect patches of snow that laid there ever so innocently.

His hands were red, the shook, dropping the knife down into the snow, the sharp blade piercing the soft snow.“Sungyeol-ah, I’m truly sorry. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself once you knew what a filthy person I truly am.”

It would be awful to say that Sungjong killed Sungyeol out of pure hatred and anger, but Sungjong thought it was for the others good. He didn’t take pleasure in it, it was gruesome to watch the blood spill, but in the end Sungjong knew that it was for Sungyeol’s own good not everyone had the glory of dying a painless death. He could see how Sungyeol treated him, it was too good. Too good for Sungjong, so Sungjong had to repay him. The only way he knew how, the wish he had made for himself had been upon Sungyeol. 

What Sungjong didn’t know was that his own dream of death was Sungyeol’s nightmares. 

Sungjong slipped off his shoes to go upstairs into the attic, his only place that could truly be called his. No one else wanted it. 

Sungjong slowly woke up, the marble floors stung his legs. It was cold. 

“Ah, Sungjong, darling!” called Mrs. Kim waving at her adopted son. “Are you okay, love?” Sungjong slowly nodded. She breathed out a sigh of relief, “You were having a nightmare.” She used her cold hands to touch Sungjong’s forehead. Her red nails caught Sungjong’s eyes. He jumped. “No!”

Mrs. Kim creased her forehead, “Are you alright, Sungjong? Your father and I can cancel the trip.”

Sungjong shook his head, breathing out a sigh of relief. Myungsoo was still busying himself eating his dinner. Mr. and Mrs. Kim were getting ready to leave on their business trip. Nothing had happened.Sungjong slowly got up and smiled at her. “I’ll be fine.”

Mrs. Kim glanced worriedly at her younger son. “L, do be careful with Sungjong, will you? I’m afraid he may have caught the flu. Your father and I have to go. Take care of Sungjongie.”

“Mm~” murmured Myungsoo, his mouth was harshly chewing onto a piece of the delicious peace pie that the cook had made. It was Mr. Kim’s favorite. Myungsoo truly took after his father. That made Sungjong crinkle his eyes in a smile knowing that Myungsoo belonged in this family of his. 

Myungsoo slowly got up, pushing the chair back to make a low screeching sound on the rich dark brown mahogany wood. “Sungjong,” he said, standing above Sungjong.

The younger boy was lying on the ground, his body motionless and cold. Myungsoo sighed and lifted the boy up to carry him bridal style. “You’re warm, Sungjong.”

“Ah.. Sorry, Myungsoo.” Sungjong whispered, his voice hoarse.

Myungsoo shook his head and brushed Sungjong’s hair out of his eyes. “Be careful next time, will you?” He lightly opened the door, his own room. “Don’t fall asleep on the floor. Be careful. I don’t usually have time to take care of you.”

Sungjong was laid down on the bed, bedsheets covering his cold body. 

Myungsoo softly smiled, it graced his face for quite a long time as he looked at the angelic figure that he could never bear to call his brother. “I don’t mind taking care of you, Jongie.” Myungsoo allowed a single lone tear to escape his left eye. “I.. I’m sorry, brother.”

Myungsoo forced himself to look away, “I can’t,” he whispered to himself. “I can’t do it.”

He lifted himself from the chair and stared above Sungjong, this time a tear from his right eye started to form, but it was never allowed to drop. 

(Right eye tear- happiness) (Left eye tear- sadness, fear, anger) Just putting that in :)

Authors Note: Surprise !!! My Updates usually take.. half a month (Please don’t hate me for that) But the holiday season (Thanksgiving) deserves a update. -Idk if you celebrate thanksgiving.. but I don’t haha, still feeling the vibes though~

all of chapter 9 was a dream. Half of this chapter was a dream too. I hope you know where the dream ends. ( many dreams inside of a large dream ).  Hehe, just writing this so no one will get confused. I hope you enjoyed

I hope you enjoyed it . Tell me what you though *kisses to everyone*