Uhh, so, yeah, I've been away for a while. Okay, a LOOOOONG while but I got really stuck with this story and, honestly, everything I was writing but now I'm back. This time with twice as much drama and twice as many cliches~~~

Time was passing, flying along with the wind, twirling around the boys, intervening their lives again and again, tracing its bony finger down their spines. It seemed like time was the only one rushing, the others stuck in one place, refusing to step ahead, to move further.

Jungkook had passed. His opportunity to play basketball, his chance with Taehyung, thankfully also his midterms. In his heart the regrets were piling up, stacking like cards, he was scared to see it crumble.

Like a fool, he had gone and done it again, fell for someone unavailable, someone he shouldn’t like.

When he was crushing on Taehyung it had never been like this. He wanted to approach the boy but at the same time Jungkook was fine just watching from afar. Admiring how handsome he was, how smart he was, how funny he was. Jungkook didn’t mind if their only interaction was a smile.

It had taken some time to see it, to understand his crazily beating heart, his chaotic mind, his wish to become better. Wanting to do anything to see Namjoon smile.

With Namjoon it was different. He couldn’t put his finger on why it was like this. But he couldn’t get enough of Namjoon, even if he didn’t want to admit it. He wanted to give his all to Namjoon and have him do the same. Jungkook wanted to share his happiness with Namjoon, to sit down and eat together, to hear about Namjoon’s day. Was this love?

The realisation of it came down like a lightning bolt from the sky. Or maybe like a toaster in a bathtub, shocking him to the core.

Hoseok had invited Jungkook along to an university party. More like dragged along.Jungkook wasn’t much of a partier, he had never really seen the appeal of it. Too much loud music and not enough Call of Duty. But his brother had insisted.

“You need to get out of the house,” Hoseok said, standing in front of the TV screen, interrupting Jungkook’s match, “Otherwise you’ll become one with this couch.”

Jungkook leaned to the side, looking past Hoseok, his thumbs frantically pressing buttons on the controller, “Thank for your concern but that doesn’t sound too bad.”

His brother sighed, “Just come with me. It’ll be fun.”

The younger paused the game, finally looking at Hoseok, “What’s your agenda? You’ve never invited me along to anything.”

“Agenda? I didn’t know you knew a word like that. Seems like hanging out with Namjoon has made you smarter,” Jungkook’s stomach dropped hearing Namjoon’s name. They hadn’t seen each other since the dinner. “I have none, I just thought it would be a good bonding time for us.”

“You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”

Hoseok pouted, his features turning childish, “Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?”

“Last time you invited me, it was because mum threatened to take your allowance away for the rest of the year,” Jungkook said, unpausing the game. The sound of shooting and frantic button pressing resumed, Jungkook couldn’t lose to another twelve year old.

His older brother sighed, “You were fifteen then and it wasn’t a party.“ Jungkook glared at him, “Okay, it was. Because I took you along I couldn’t drink anything.”

“So now you need a babysitter with you?” The younger paused the game again. “I still can’t drink, if you were wondering.”

“It’s a house party, nobody cares if you have a beer or two.”

“Yeah, but beer is disgusting,” Jungkook grimaced. Hoseok nodded in agreement.

“Namjoon will be there too,” a smirk appeared on the elder’s face. It was his trump card. Jungkook knew that Hoseok knew that he couldn’t say no to that, “You should thank him for getting you to pass.”

“Fine,” Jungkook whined. Hoseok was right, without Namjoon, Jungkook would be in this same position but with more F’s and many less C’s and, one, B. That didn’t mean that Jungkook had to be happy about it. “Let me finish this round at least. This stupid is stretching my .”

Hoseok gagged, “I’m taking my invitation back, AND I refuse to acknowledge you as my brother from this point on.”

Yeah, Jungkook had stopped listening a minute ago.

So, that’s how Jungkook ended up at some random guy’s house, with a beer in his one hand and phone in the other, sitting on a staircase, watching a couple in front of him making out. In his opinion, the girl was way too drunk to make out and it ended up just looking like she was a dog, trying to the guy’s face but what did he know about kissing? His only kiss had been Namjoon and he had been drunk that time too. Jungkook hoped to god he did not look like that.

The beer hadn’t been touched, it smelled like sadness and old bread. He was sat here for a while, relentlessly checking the door for any sign of Namjoon, after Hoseok had left him for some girl he thought looked hot. She was alright, Jungkook guessed. Way out of Hoseok’s league though.

He checked the time, it was half past eleven, no messages from anyone, his phone screen; a picture from the last dinner he had together with his basketball team. Jungkook hadn’t given up yet. His midterms were good enough for the coach to let him  back on the team, they should be. Not that he should be thinking about it. In Hoseok’s words, right before he had deserted his brother, “Don’t think about anything tonight. Just have fun.”

Jungkook was not having fun but he could at least try to relax. To forget. He never did like thinking, and lately he had done too much of it. Maybe one beer wasn’t such a bad idea.

He took a sip. It ended up all over his shoes and the backs of the couple, both of them took no notice. “Okay, maybe not beer,” Jungkook murmured to himself, hurrying past the couple, praying that they won’t recognise his face sober.

Namjoon didn’t know what he was doing at this party. One of his course mates had invited him along, apparently for some bonding or something. To be truthful, Namjoon wasn’t the friendliest guy around. Yes, he might have been fashionable and look amazingly cool from afar but actually he was just awkward around new people, that was why he had never managed to make many friends.

Hoseok took pity on him during high school, refusing to leave him alone, even if Namjoon was doing something others considered embarrassing like sewing during lunch instead of being out and playing football with his schoolmates. Plus, he had never made fun of Namjoon.

Okay, maybe about a few things but it was never serious. Not like the other boys did. Or that day when he told Hoseok he was gay. He expected to lose a friend or a few over this but not Hoseok. The only thing he said was, “So I’ve been setting you up with all those hot girls for nothing? I could’ve gone out with them.”

Yoongi had been another person who saw behind the exterior. Namjoon guessed that it was because of his nonchalant attitude, Yoongi literally never cared about what others thought. Even when his parents were against the friendship, and then, relationship; Yoongi jeopardized his family ties just to be with him. He couldn’t be more grateful to him, and Hoseok too. Yoongi had made Hoseok’s life easier, there was someone else to worry about Namjoon.

The blond shook his head, he needed to forget about Yoongi. Even passing thoughts like these were dangerous, they could pull him back into the pit of despair, he had fought so hard to get out of. Maybe this party wasn’t such a bad idea.

First though, he needed a drink.

Jungkook wasn’t an avid reality show fan, he didn’t see the appeal of watching random people yell at each other for half an hour per episode, or eat dead bugs to survive in the jungle but he imagined that they felt exactly like him as he was getting to the kitchen. There was sweat in his every crevice and he did mean EVERY, and he felt sticky, his lungs out of oxygen; gasping for the cool air of the tiled room.

Maybe, he was being too dramatic, no, he definitely was being too dramatic but in certain occasions, like this one, it was acceptable. Drunk people for some reason were harder to get past than sober ones.

He collapsed against the counter, his eyes moving along the kitchen. There weren’t many people there and they were constantly moving in or out, just to get a drink or some snacks. Most were stumbling along to the sink or the back door, either to throw up or in a need for fresh air. For a moment, Jungkook felt sorry for the guy hosting the party but then again, he was probably one of these people.

“I hope you’re not planning on getting drunk again.” Jungkook jumped from the voice. He hadn’t heard anyone approach.

“What’s it to you? Hoseok said he didn’t mind,” Jungkook smiled, a big obnoxious smile, a smile that he knew would annoy Namjoon.

The elder looked at Jungkook, barely containing his inner to-be-a-doctor, “Be responsible then. Let’s not repeat the last time, yeah?”

Jungkook felt his cheeks burn, turning away from Namjoon’s piercing eyes, “My middle name is responsible.”

“Sure it is,” he said, rolling his eyes. “So what are you drinking?”

“Nothing yet. The beer here is crap.” Jungkook said, putting the bottle he was holding on the counter. “All beer is, to be honest.”

Namjoon laughed, walking over to the drinks and taking a bottle of half empty Jack Daniels, “You’d be surprised how many beer enthusiasts there are in the world. Whiskey? Vodka?”

Jungkook watched the elder, with surprise, his stomach turning from the sound of Namjoon’s laugh, was he really offering him a drink? “I don’t know. I’m not much of a drinker.”

The blond raised his eyebrows as in agreement and put the whiskey back in its place, “Tequila it is.”

“So, first, you the salt, then take the shot and then bite into the lime. Simple.” Yes, Namjoon was teaching a student how to drink in some random guy’s kitchen. This was the peak of his life, he thought ironically.

Jungkook was trembling, a shot in his hand. The tequila casted gold light on Jungkook’s tanned skin, salt falling of his hand. The younger was biting his lip, it was hard for Namjoon to look anywhere else. His dark hair was tousled and sweaty, sticking to his forehead in small strands.

“Simple,” the dark haired boy repeated, his voice breaking. Why was he nervous?

Namjoon needed this drink and he needed it quickly. “Look at how I do it and then follow, yeah?”

The elder pushed his tongue out, drawing it along the line of salt he had made on the back of his hand, the taste immediately spreading all over his tongue. Before he could react, Namjoon poured the shot in his throat, surprisingly smooth washing away the salt and then bit into the lime, crinkling his nose at the sourness of it.

“See. Simple.” Namjoon stuck his tongue out like a small child bragging about finishing his dinner.

The younger nodded, “Salt, tequila, lime. I think I can follow that.”

And he did. Jungkook took one last deep breath and in a blink of the eye the shot was gone, a green peel between his lips. And then, he coughed, “Ew, hyung, it’s disgusting.”

“People drink to get drunk not for it to taste good. Another three and you’ll be dancing on the tables,” Namjoon patted Jungkook on the back. “Welcome to the adult life.”

“What if I don’t want to dance? I’m not particularly good at it,” the younger boy said, pouring himself another shot.

“Tequila begs to disagree. Everyone is a good dancer with enough alcohol in them,” Namjoon pointed at his empty glass, “Pour one for me too.”

Namjoon was right. Namjoon was always right. After another two shots, Jungkook found himself on the dancefloor, in between all the drunk people he had tried so hard to escape from. Now he didn’t care. And Namjoon was with him.

It was hard to tell how drunk the elder was, nothing felt real anymore. Not even Namjoon’s palms on his waist, holding him tight. Were they dancing? Was Namjoon just making sure Jungkook didn’t fall? All the younger could do was be thankful that he hadn’t left Jungkook.

“Hyung,” Jungkook yelled over the music, “Namjoon hyung.”

“What?” The blond yelled back, leaning closer to hear better, his warm breath hitting Jungkook’s neck, making shivers run down his spine.

“Thank you, hyung,” Jungkook yelled again. The bass of whatever song playing was shaking his insides. Or maybe it was Namjoon’s hands that tightened their hold on him.

The elder raised his eyebrows, “I can’t hear you.”

“THANK YOU,” the younger tried again but his words weren’t reaching the blond.  

Instead, Jungkook pulled Namjoon by the arm, leading him away from the crowd, to the back door he remembered vaguely. If he didn’t say it now, Jungkook won’t ever be able to say how thankful he was to the elder. Namjoon was following along, confused and worried, making sure Jungkook didn’t fall or bump into anyone.

As soon as they were out the door, the noise died down. The backyard they were at was empty. There wasn’t a soul out here, the cold air enough to scare people away. Wind hit Jungkook, making him step closer to Namjoon, searching for some warmth. His jacket was probably lying underneath some guy’s on a couch where he had left it when he just came in.

It was so quiet, he could hear the elder breathe, short but deep breaths as if he was trying to catch up to all the air he wasn’t able to inhale on the dance floor. Jungkook watched trees sway in the breeze, trying to find the right words. Now that they were alone, everything somehow seemed deeper, more meaningful. Every word said would leave a mark in the universe, no mistakes could be made. Jungkook couldn’t afford to be misunderstood.

“Kook?” Namjoon breathed, his voice was deep, quiet.

“Hyung,” It was inevitable. Jungkook would respond, no matter when Namjoon would call, what he said. He closed his eyes, maybe it was going to be easier that way, “Hyung, thank you.”

Namjoon took Jungkook’s hand, the younger’s heartbeat speeding up, “It’s okay.”

“No, hyung, I really mean it. Thank you for staying with me today. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for agreeing to tutor me. Thank you for being my friend.”  There were so many things Jungkook wanted to thank Namjoon about but no matter what he would say, it wouldn’t be enough.  

“And I mean it too,” Namjoon said, stepping in front of Jungkook, looking him deep in the eyes. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t have done any of those things if I didn’t want to, Jungkook.”

He wasn’t lying. The younger could tell, everything about Namjoon in that moment was sincere. His gaze, the way he was holding on to Jungkook, his voice. In that moment it felt like Namjoon was in front of the dark haired boy, all of him laid out for Jungkook to see.

This time, Jungkook didn’t blame the alcohol when he pressed his lips against the elder’s.