There was a reoccurring dream I would have in those days.

Jiwon and I would be walking on some distant unnamed planet. We wore heavy space suits that didn’t seem heavy at all. Jiwon walked in front of me, bouncing on the surface of the rocky surface of the planet.

I’d call out to him and he’d turn to look at me before walking back toward me. But his steps kept getting higher and higher.

Bounce, bounce, bounce.

I called out to him but he began to drift into the atmosphere. His arms reached out to me, but I wouldn’t be able to hear his voice.

“Hayi.”

I rolled onto my side to face Jiwon, his face illuminated by the screen of his phone. At times I could physically feel him drifting away, as if the air itself were pulling us apart.

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?” He asked, catching me off guard.

I could have asked him the same. June’s parents had been by the other day to pack up his things.

“I guess.” I let out a sigh.

Jiwon shifted in bed, his muscles rippling under his loose tank top. He reached out to my hair. He had barely touched me in weeks.

“How are classes?”

I wanted to laugh. Had we really turned to small talk?

“I’m thinking about changing my major.” I answered honestly. “I have an appointment with advising this week.”

His fingers in my hair stilled.

“Why? What are you changing it to?”

“Literature.”

“… Literature?” He sounded it out in confusion as if it were a foreign word. “You’re kidding, right?”

I felt a strange new feeling crash over me. My fingers itched with the desire to hit him.

“No. I’m not kidding, Jiwon.”

“Sorry, Hayi. This is just kinda random.”

“What would you do if you didn’t have astronomy?” I asked, my voice cracking as my emotions heightened. “If you only had basketball, and you lost it, how would you feel?”

“Hayi.”

I noticed he used my name in many ways. As a warning, as an excuse, as a filler when he had nothing else to say.

“That’s how I feel, Jiwon. I can’t have what I want, but I’m miserable with everything else. I’m not naturally smart, you know that… I have to work ten times harder than everyone else in the department.”

“What? You’re smart, Hayi.”

“Stop.” I physically interrupted him with a finger to his lips. “I just, I feel restless. Nothing makes sense anymore.”

I lifted my finger.

“And changing your major would fix that?” His brows furrowed in increasing agitation.

“Maybe. I don’t know, okay?”

“You can’t do anything with a literature degree it’d be worthless.” He sighed, rubbing his temples. “Are you doing this because of…”

“Because of what?”

“