I hadn’t told Jiwon where I was going. I wasn’t sure how he would react, a part of me was scared he wouldn’t react at all. I tugged at the hem of my dress, wishing I’d worn pants as the wind teased at the flowy fabric.

A nice family dinner.

Why wouldn’t I dress up for a nice family dinner? If I hadn’t I’d never hear the end of my mother’s nagging.

I walked to the bus stop off the edge of campus, seeing Jaewon leaning against a flashing advertisement for a movie I’d meant to see with Jiwon and never found the time.

He looked up, giving me a mysterious smile. I waved dorkily, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. There was always more to his face than I could ever understand. I never really knew what he was thinking.

We boarded the bus silently. I paused for a moment after swiping my card, unsure if we should sit next to each other. He seemed to notice my apprehension and gestured for me to sit while he stood close by. As the bus began to move he pulled a book from his bag, ignoring me as he thoughtfully stared at the pages.

But I couldn’t ignore him. Not as he loomed above me smelling like faint cologne, cigarette smoke, and leather binding.  

The bus emptied at the next stop, the high school student next to me getting off. I stared at the empty window seat, quietly making the decision to move over. Jaewon stood still, still focused on the book in his hands.

I cleared my throat.

“You should sit, it’s fine.”

He quirked an eyebrow before moving next to me. We sat in silence, my heart racing with anxious anticipation.

“Do you know what this is about?” I finally asked as the bus rounded the corner to our stop.

Jaewon only frowned, shaking his head as the bus came to a halt, the brakes screeching loudly. He slung his backpack back over his shoulder as he stepped down.

“Are you ready for the show?” He smiled, holding out a hand for me as I got off the bus.

I laughed, but I wasn’t sure how ready I was. I hadn’t been to my mother’s house since I had helped her move in. Jaewon squeezed my arm almost painfully as we walked up to the front door. I had almost forgotten that he had been raised in that house.

He also probably hadn’t been back since he’d been forced to leave, his belongings thrown to the curb, all of his books he’d collected over the years given away to a stranger.

“It’s going to be okay.” I told him, even though I didn’t believe it. He looked at me in surprise, loosening his grip on my arm so that he could knock on the door.

We stood in bated quiet in front of the closed door.

It was my mother that finally answered, looking every bit the perfect housewife.

“They’re here!” She shouted back behind her before turning to us with a smile. “Come in, come in!”

I could hear the damn pomeranian yapping from somewhere in the house. Jaewon and I exchanged looks, both unsettled by the welcoming atmosphere.

It became clear we were only guests as we took off our shoes and jackets before being ushered into the living room. I kept catching Jaewon looking around, most likely unable to recognize where he spent his childhood once my mother had her way with it. I had been upset by not being included in the family pictures lining the hall, but soon realized that Jaewon was nowhere to be found either.

He had been erased from his own ho