Jiwon wouldn’t let me go back to my apartment alone. I told him I’d be fine but he insisted. How could I say no when he squeezed my hand and said he’d feel more at ease?

I nearly fell over when I saw the state of my room. It looked like a crime scene.

“Ah, because it is a crime scene.”

Jiwon reached out for me, holding onto my arm to keep me on my feet.

“I’ll get you something to drink.” He offered, his voice smooth and soothing. He opened the fridge and began to click his tongue in disapproval. “There’s nothing here, Hayi… Would you be fine if I went to the corner store?”

I nodded.

“You sure?” He looked at me with furrowed brows. “I won’t be long. Promise.”

“I’m fine, just go.”

He lingered for a moment longer with that worried expression before finally leaving (but not without kissing my forehead).

I looked back at the room, pretending to be a crime scene investigator as I began to clean. I felt the need to scrub everything. Nothing could be clean enough.  

I wondered if I should move… Where would I go? To Hanna’s?

That girl had her head in the clouds. She left on a club trip without even telling me until that morning. I mulled over my options, pulling out the clothes I’d stuffed in my closet in my hurried cleaning. It felt so trivial now.

A book fell as I reached for a jacket I’d crammed in the closet. I looked at it curiously, it must have wandered from the pile. I touched at the golden embossed title: The Lost Estate. Could this have been what Jaewon was looking for?

I opened the cover, flipping past to the first chapter and stopping when I noticed the bleeding through of ink. I flipped back to the introduction, realizing that something had been written.

To my Jaewon, may you have many adventures — Love, Dad.

I dropped the book in shock. What the…?

What did that mean?

My fingers shook as I quickly reached for my phone, dialing my mom without much thought.

“What is it, Hayi?” She answered after the third ring, sounding irritated. “Well? I’m busy cooking dinner.”

(And of course I hadn’t been invited, not that I would have gone.)

“Your new husband has sons, right?” I asked, still trying to process my suspicions. It couldn’t be… “Is there one who goes to my university?”

“I don’t know, Hayi. What university do you go to again?”

“Mom...”

“What?” She hissed. “As if you ever talk to me about school?”

“Does he have a son in university at all, then?” I asked, regretting calling her and for thinking something absolutely crazy. What was I doing? Why was that the first I thought of?

“The youngest maybe.” She offers after a thoughtful silence. “Jaewon might go to your school.”

“Jung Jaewon?”

“Yes, that’s right… Did you two meet?”

“Kind of.” I managed to answer, not having much luck finding words.

Did he know?

He had to have known. How could he not?

My mom laughed over the phone, I could feel the biting meanness in her tone.

“That makes sense, Jaewon gives his father as much trouble as you give me. He moved out as soon as we announced our engagement. I wanted to turn his room into a sewing room but my husband said…”

I hung up while she still spoke, not wanting to hear her droning on. I’d only get angry.

I felt an emotion swell through my body, something strange and sickening.

The empty room, the box.

The books.

They were all Jaewon’s.

He had to have known.

He knew.

I picked up the book that had fallen to the floor, inspecting the inscribed note. Was this why he had wanted that book back? So I wouldn’t find it?

“What’s that?” Jiwon asked from the doorway, and I spun around in shock. I hadn’t even heard him walk in.

“Ah, nothing. Just a book for class.” I answered, still startled, as I stuffed it into my backpack.

“Why haven’t you been coming to school the past few days?” Hyejin fussed as we walked from class. “Jiwon wouldn’t tell me what was up, I was worried.”

I told her what had happened, or at least an abridged version that conveniently left out Jaewon.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” She asked, her fingers intertwining with mine.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I answered quietly, and meant it. “Jiwon was there to help me. It’s all okay now.”

Jiwon had barely left my side, which was wonderful and suffocating at the same time. I wasn’t used to being doted over. I wasn’t used to someone giving me his undivided attention and care. It was strange, but nice.  

I leaned in closer to Hyejin, a smile teasing at the corners of my lips.

“You were right about .” I whispered, eliciting a pleased laugh and a pat on the back from my redheaded friend.

“So he comforted you, huh?” She asked gleefully.

“Ah, seriously.” I blushed, covering my face with my hands. I couldn’t stop smiling.

“What are you two talking about?” Jiho asked, appearing after going off to buy drinks at the vending machine.

“Nothing!” I answered immediately, interrupting Hyejin with a glare as Jiho handed me a coffee.

“Whatever you say.” He grumbled as Hyejin and I exchanged glances, our arms swinging together as we walked. “I ran into Jaewon and told him to join us. It’s been awhile since we all hung out.”

I stared at him in disbelief, but it wasn’t like he knew what he’d done.

No. I wasn’t ready.

I wasn’t ready to see him. I hadn’t thought about how I wanted to confront him, or if I wanted to at all.

Realization of a greater problem dawned as I looked up to see Jiwon making his way toward us. I remembered the bubbling anger, the shocked tears. The guilt.

I watched as Jaewon and Jiwon walked from opposite sides of campus like two cowboys meeting to duel at sundown. I squirmed in discomfort at the sudden tension permeating the air