Every inch of her body is now tingling along with the butterfly sensation she feels in her stomach. She can’t remember the last time somebody embraces her passionately the way Kyuhyun does and she has to admit that she’s enjoying every single things he’s doing to her at the moment; the way he softly moves his hand to her nape in order deepen their kiss, the way he caresses her hair while he’s kissing her, the way his soft and moist lips lock with hers and the way she feels like she’s been stings by mild electricity wherever his finger touches her skin. Eungi feels like her heart is ready to jump out of her thorax anytime soon and she knows how hot her face feels right now. She doesn’t do anything to stop whatever happening in her living room, in fact she doesn’t want him to stop.

If it’s up to her, if she doesn’t need to think about consequences, if she doesn’t have to deal with her own conscience and if she can stop the time, then it’ll be here and now—the time when she feels like she just lifts up to a safer place in his embrace. But Eungi knows, she has to be the one that stop this—she can’t let themselves fall into the temptation they just created.

She braces herself to put her hands on his shoulder then softly pushes him away, she doesn’t want him to get the wrong message yet she really needs him to stop, before they got lost in their desire.

Kyuhyun moves his face slightly from hers, graces her nose with his as he makes his way up to her forehead before he lands another kiss on her head. He knows he should stop—no matter how much he wants her, it’s wrong if he uses her grief as a way to take a shortcut into her heart.

They glue their foreheads together, say nothing to each other and just sitting there busy taking care of their beating hearts.

“Kyu..”

“Mianhae noona.”

Eungi bites her lips as she takes her distance a bit from him, she still can feel the traces of his lips on hers and she wants more, she wants more but she can’t—she’s not supposed to.

“I.. didn’t expect that.” She stutters while still tries to maintain her cool.

Kyuhyun takes a deep breath to calm himself and look away from her, he can’t stand the look of her innocent blushing face at the moment—it only makes him want more and he has to fight his own urges.

“I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t go that far.. I just..” He slams his back into the couch and covers his face with his palms. “I.. I can’t even defend myself from what I just did.”

Eungi takes a throw pillow behind her and hug it to replace her desire to hug the man in front of her instead. “It happened.” She chuckles, “I guess our relationship is now officially ruined.”

Kyuhyun takes a glance to her from the corner of his eyes, “Relationship? Do we have one?”

She nods, “Lecture-student” She points to herself then to him, “That’s what we were.”

“And what are we now?” He lifts his body and again, moves his face closer to her. “What are we now, noona?”

Eungi holds her breath while thinking the best way to describe what they have, but she’s confused. It’s so unusual for her not to have an answer to every question. She bites her lips again as she curls her brows as her attempt to squeeze the answer out of her brain.

“I’m waiting for your answer noona and please stop biting your lips. It makes me crazy.” He carefully takes the strands of her hair to slip them behind her ear.

“I.. I’m.. confused..” She finally chose to say what’s in her head and stop trying to sound smart.

“Ne?”

“You’re my student, I’m not supposed to do this with a student! I just crossed the line! And it’s not entirely your fault because I let you kissed me and I..”

And I enjoyed it. she adds in her head.

“If I’m not your student, will you let us be what we should have been?”

“What is it that we should be?”

“Lovers.”

Eungi smiles then takes her gaze away from him, sometimes she wishes she can be as carefree as he is. She’d love to life a life where she’s a simple minded girl that always follow her heart instead of her head.

“It’s not easy..”

“We’ll have the final exam in two weeks and after that you’re no longer my professor, since you’re resigning anyway. So..”

“It’s not that simple, Kyu.” She finally gets her sanity back. “As much as I care about the rules, it’s not really the first thing that comes in my mind when I’m thinking about us.”

“What is it then?” He tries to studies her expression, desperate for a straight forward answer. He doesn’t care if she hurts him, he just wants her to be honest. “Is it him? You haven’t move on yet and that’s why you can’t open your heart to me?”

The way she closes her eyes as she glances away from him confirms his suspicion.

“I don’t want to put you in a hard positi..”

“You already did, noona.”

“I never asked you to.”

“I know.” once again he feels like he wants to rip his chest apart to takes the pain away.

“Kyu..” She moves closer to try to reach out to him.

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” He glares at her with an expression that’s hard to guess.

“I’m sorry.” She takes back her hand that’s near his thigh. “Jeongmal mianhae.”

Kyuhyun looks away from her before he gets up, “Yeah, me too, I’m sorry noona.”

He says nothing else as he takes his steps towards her front door, he’d rather excuse himself from that place instead of continuing the conversation he knew will tear his heart. If what Eungi needs is time to takes him with open arms, he’ll give her exactly that.

*

The last three classes they have are the most awkward class Eungi ever taught in her life. She didn’t dare to look at his face at all nor she’s able to concentrate while giving the last presentation having Kyuhyun staring at her from the back with his attentive stare that brings back the butterflies in her tummy. This is not her, Eungi always controls everything in her life and now she can’t even control herself from not wanting to be close to Kyuhyun. This wrong in so many levels of courtesy and that thought alone is the only thing preventing her from being near him.

Obviously she’s attracted to him, she’s not blind and she can see how good looking he is although that’s not the first thing she noticed from her student. She adores the way he charms her with his hidden skills that he continues to reveal, she like the way he looks at her with those adoring eyes, the way Kyuhyun gave his best effort to impress Eungi with his works, and the way he makes her feel young again.

She’s been living her life beyond her own age, since she must take responsibilities in such early stage of her life and she never stopped being an adult since she was ten. With Kyuhyun by her side, she feels like she’s a teenager again and she can’t even remember if she ever allowed herself to live her teenage life the way it should.

She never sneaked out to go to a friend’s party—heck she didn’t even have friends that are her age, she tried to drink alcohol by the time she’s 25, unlike most teenager that tried to sneaked it into their room from their parent’s stack during high-school, she never goes to a club to party, she never be naughty enough to feel like she’s alive. She’s always the goody-two-shoes and the teacher’s pet that impressed the adults with her amazing brain. And she’s tired of all that, she wants to take a rest from that rigid life of hers and break free for once.

She kn