Jin and Suga silently returned to Jungkook's room where everyone was sitting in different places around the room. Although Jin and Suga resolved their dispute, V and Jimin were still clearly having trouble as they were occasionally shooting each other harsh glares.

Before anyone could greet the two eldest members, Suga asked for the journal to start reading the next entry: July 21, 2014.

"It's been forever since I've last written! I feel kind of bad for not keeping it updated. It's been kind of crazy because we're preparing for the release of our Dark & Wild album. It'll be out in August. We're preparing for our music video Danger and War of Hormone.

The choreography for Danger is the hardest we've ever done! I'm getting kind of nervous about the comeback. We've been working on the album ever since we got back from America and everything feels rushed and out of control. Aigoo...

Life hasn't been easy. But, America was fun. Our teachers were great and I had a good time. I think everyone did. I felt extremely nervous throughout the time we were there, but my hyungs helped me out. I'm so fortunate to have such great hyungs.

Ever since we got back, manager-nim has noticed how tan we've gotten. It's kind of hard to stay out of sun in LA, especially near the beach. But it's kind of ironic how Americans want to be so tan while we, Koreans, want to be so pale like they naturally are. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side...

I don't mean to diss America or anything, but some of the food there is really...fattening. My hyungs and I all came back and were told that we gained a lot. Rap Monster-hyung gained 1.5 kilos. Jin-hyung gained 2.5 kilos. Suga-hyung 3 kilos. Hobi-hyung 2. Jimin-hyung 1. V-hyung 2. As for me...over 12 kilos. I ate a lot on our trip. I couldn't refuse, not eat, or fight back. I can't pull off that on television.

Manager-nim was pissed. So was Bang-nim. Everyone's mad at me. I don't know what happened, though. I ate when my hyungs ate and I tried to eat the same amount. I just gained more than them. In fact, as I look back in March, I weigh more than when I even started...

March 23, 2014
Starting Weight (SW): 62 kg
Goal Weight (GW): 52 kg
Current Weight (CW): 52 kg

July 21, 2014
SW: 62 kg
GW1: 52 kg
CW on 3/23: 52 kg
CW on 7/21: 67 kg

I don't know what to do. Everyone's so mad. I didn't think I could gain that much. And we have a comeback soon! Suga-hyung and I are being put on a strict diet. Jimin-hyung's, to be specific. But, Jimin-hyung has actually been told to gain some more weight so it's just Suga-hyung and I. 

It's a one-meal-a-day diet. It's kind of the diet I put myself on before AHL but this time, everyone knows. Everyone knows that I let myself go and that I failed.

Do I even deserve to be in this band?," Suga read.

Of course you do, Jungkook, Suga thought, Of course you do...

"The weight gain makes sense, though," Yunji suddenly said out of the blue. "With the lack of nutrition, I'm sure his body wanted to absorb anything Jungkook ate."
"It actually has to do with metabolism," Namjoon said. "If someone doesn't eat for a long period of time, their metabolism goes into a resting state and they don't burn as many calories as they normally would. That's what caused the weight gain."
"Either way, I'm sure Jungkook didn't know that and he just beat himself up for nothing."

As the discussion continued, Suga flipped to the next page and saw how close the date was to the recent entry he read: July 23, 2014. Everyone was jabbering on and on about how wonderful Jungkook is to Bangtan and his contributions.

"I received another letter from my brother," Suga read, interrupting everyone. "He didn't write much, but I understand. He's busy protecting the country. I'm sure that I'm the last thing he thinks about because he's so busy. All I know is that he's going to be a weapons specialist.

School will start soon. I'm not ready for it. I'm hoping that it will be better than last year, but I'm not so sure anymore. I got my schedule yesterday and I already have Mr. Park as one of my teachers. Besides that, Miso-noona sent me a picture of her schedule. We have so many classes together. Last year ended on a low note for Miso and I. And I'm not sure why she's texting me all the sudden.

Ever since she's texted me, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I don't know what she's doing to me. I thought I lost my feelings for her, but right when I thought it was over, they all came flooding back—but stronger. Her beautiful presence and smile resonates in my memory and I couldn't help but sketch a drawing of her I saw from the dance I didn't go to. Pictures of the dance were all over the school website, school, and the internet. It was almost inevitable. But here's what I did. It's okay, but it doesn't captivate her charm and beauty like in real life.

I don't really know how long I've been working on it. I try to perfect it every day, but I've come to realize that I'll never be able to do that. She's just too amazing.

It's been three days since I've started the diet with Suga-hyung. I remember these feelings all over again—the dreaded hunger pangs. The first couple weeks are always the worst, but then you get used to it. I know, it sounds really crazy, but you do. From what I vaguely remember, the first few days hit hard. You're always extremely tired and the days seem to grow longer—but you know damn well they don't. Sometimes, depending on how the day goes, you get extremely agitated and angry. It's very easy for someone to piss you off. The growling sounds of your stomach really become evident after the first couple days.

By the end of the first week, the growling sounds become less frequent and the hunger pangs start the subside. But it's so easy to just quit because you still feel extremely lethargic and more unmotivated than usual. Not much changes, though. But by sometime during the second week, everything becomes regular again. Of course, you still will get occasional stomach pangs and loud growls, but it becomes normal to ignore them and keep going. It's hard to explain, but there's also this euphoric kind of feeling when you hit the second week. It makes me feel light on my feet and giddy; like I could do anything in the world; like I accomplished something and did it right.

But I still have a long way to go:

March 23, 2014
Starting Weight (SW): 62 kg
Goal Weight (GW): 52 kg
Current Weight (CW): 52 kg

July 21, 2014
SW: 62 kg
GW1: 52 kg
CW on 3/23: 52 kg
CW on 7/21: 67 kg
CW on 7/23: 65 kg

I still have to set a goal weight, though...

I've actually been considering going lower than 52 kilos. But not too low, of course. It just felt like 52 kilos wasn't good enough. The comeback is so soon and I don't have much time to get there. If I work out and dance a lot, I'm sure I could get at least halfway there. Right now, 58.5 kilos sounds like a good compromise," Suga read. 

Jimin shook his head. Even 58.5 kilos was too low for Jungkook. The mental struggles that Jungkook described in his journal were so unexpected. Jimin always viewed himself as fat. Everyone knew that. But no one knew who was really struggling.

Jin felt the most guilt out of everyone. He was the eldest and although he never verbally says it, he's always felt responsible for raising his dongsaengs, particularly the younger ones. Now that he knew what was happening to one of his dongsaengs, he felt like he failed as their hyung.