"Let me explain my relationship with Jungkook. I'm his second-cousin, but we refer to ourselves as just 'cousins'. My grandfather, Jeon Jungmi, is much older than Jungkook's father, Jeon Jungbaek, but they're brothers with a really big . So my mother, Jeon Taeji, grew up with Jungkook and they're cousins. My mother is older than Jungkook, obviously. With all of these s, my mother didn't want me to be born to young parents, so whey waited until after Jungkook was born to have me. I'm a little over a year younger than Jungkook and am his second-cousin. It's a little confusing."
"That's okay. You explained it well," Rap Monster said.
"Thank you, oppa."

Yunji smiled at Rap Monster's compliment, then proceeded to discuss the rest of the story—in her point of view, of course...

[Yunji's POV]

My grandfather, Jeon Jungmi, married a Chinese woman, Yang LiPei, and had my mother, Jeon Taeji. And my mother moved to the United States for a better life. In America is also where she met my father, a Canadian-Korean, Im Buhyun, man with a passion for traveling. They fell in love, got married, and then about a year after Jungkook was born, I was born.

So here I am. Im Yunji. I'm (biologically) 17, soon to be 18. I grew up as an only child, so life was pretty easy. I learned how to speak Korean from my parents and also became fluent in English from my friends and teachers at school. Living in America also helps. Every now and then, I would see my grandmother and she would teach me a little Chinese.

Anyway, I traveled to and from America and South Korea constantly as a child. I was born in San Fransico, California, so it wasn't too difficult. I continued to visit Korea as I grew up. I'd usually go during the summer and stay for a good month and a half. I'd always visit either Seoul to see my father's family or Busan to see my mother's family. But because my father is also Canadian, most of his family from Canada moved to the United States to see us more often. Jungkook is on my mother's side, so whenever we would go to Busan, I would always see him and—sometimes—his brother, Jeon Junghyun.

I remember a small memory from when I was five. Jungkook was six at the time. I was never that girly, so I enjoyed playing outside with Jungkook. He was really athletic. We would always either be playing a game or searching for insects, like cool beetles. We caught a metallic black beetle one time, but we weren't allowed to keep it.

I remember what we generally did when I was twelve, and Jungkook was just barely thirteen. Jungkook had been learning taekwondo and was obsessed with video games. As for me, I was interested in music. I learning to play the guitar and was starting to sing a little. Of course, I knew a little K-Pop at the time. I was especially into Girl's Generation, 2NE1, and BIGBANG at the time. I introduced Jungkook to K-Pop. He wasn't willing to listen to much of it, but I forced him to listen to some of my favorite songs. I forced him to listen to G-Dragon. Little did I know that I had sparked a huge interest of music in my cousin!

After that visit, I turned 13 and I became a little less engaged in music and more interested in acting. I still sing and play music, just not as often. Then, I got a call from my cousin—Jungkook. It was like 2 AM in Korea when he called me. A lot must've happened since I had last seen him about six months ago. Apparently, he had been taking vocal lessons and learning how to play the guitar. He had this sudden insatiable interest in music and singing. He even told me his secret: he was being taught how to pop by some seniors at his middle school. I was truly shocked. But that wasn't the reason why he called. He had recently just auditioned for a show called Superstar K. And although he didn't make it, he was still scouted by 8 companies. One of them was Big Hit Entertainment! He then admitted to me that he chose Big Hit. But even though he made it into Big Hit (without a proper audition), he was being sent to America soon to get a better dance teacher in Los Angeles. I was ecstatic. My cousin was currently a trainee at Big Hit Entertainment and would be coming to America to the first time! It was all great until he told me about his older brother's choice to join the army, but I don't remember much about that. All could think about was him as a K-Pop idol!

I tried to visit him during his stay, but it was hard due to his intense training schedule. I was trying to teach him some more English, too. Anyway, we lost touch after he left Los Angeles. But after I returned to Busan to see my mother's family, Jungkook's parents told me about the exciting news: He was going to debut! I freaked out! I was so happy for him. I figured out the band he was in: 방탄소년단 or BTS! I was especially excited when I found out he was going to be the maknae of the band. He was always kind of an awkward, shy, nerdy kind of guy to me. I would have never seen him in a K-Pop band. Ever.

But after that visit, I like never got to talk to him anymore. He was always busy on tour, training, with school, or something. I only heard a few things from his parents. I didn't even know he was returning to Los Angeles with BTS in 2014!

Anyway, his parents did tell me about the school Jungkook was attending, since he is an idol now. It was called SOPA, the performing arts school of Seoul. They asked me if I was interested in it, since they knew I used to like to sing and play guitar. (Also, I would be a freshmen that coming year.) I wasn't sure if I wanted to be that far away from home, so I told them I would think about it. But I didn't have to. My parents wanted to move back to Korea.

In that case, I immediately agreed to audition for SOPA during the summer. My parents, however, requested that I boarded there because they would be moving to Busan. I took the opportunity. And got it! So now, my idol cousin and I would be going to the same school the next year!

Little did I know that BTS was getting so popular. Due to the show "American Hustle Life", Jungkook wasn't at school the beginning of the semester, so I felt really alone there until he came back. When he did, we rarely saw each other. And whenever we did, he was always tired from the training and promotions for "Dark & Wild" and the upcoming "Red Bullet Tour".

Although I didn't get to see Jungkook very often, I was always hearing his name in rumors. There were so many shocking, horrendous, and hurtful rumors spreading at SOPA. They spread like a wildfire. They were calling him "fat", but he was so skinny to me! Just skin, bone, and muscle. If anything, he was almost unhealthy. He always seemed to have a voracious appetite during lunch—if he ate at all. There was another rumor about him and Park Miso. These rumors were still spreading a year after they started! Is it because he's an idol now? I don't know. And I'm still confused by it. Other rumors were saying that he hates his hyungs, especially Jimin. They were calling him "disrespectful". I never knew why they called him disrespectful. He's the kindest man I've ever met—even if he is my cousin! There were also a few petty rumors spreading that he stole stuff from the art studio, but he wasn't even there at the beginning of the year—the time when the rumor started—so it quickly died away.

It wasn't until he returned when I could talk to him.

"Kookie-oppa!" I shouted as I raced down the crowded hallway. "Oppa!"

He heard me the second time and turned around. He saw me struggling to pass the myriad of people. I could see him chuckling out of my pain.

"Oh, stop laughing!" I told him as I finally caught up. "Anway, how've you been?"
"I'm tired, but good," he lethargically told me.

He dropped his backpack to the ground as we made our way into the courtyard. I would usually bring my lunch to eat, so we don't go to the cafeteria. I quickly began to chomp away on my lunch, a sandwich along with fruit and a small dessert. I noticed that he wasn't eating.

"Aren't you going to eat?" I asked him.
"I'm not hungry today, Yunji-ah," he told me. "I just want to go to sleep."
"I know how to make you less tired."

His eyes lit up, as if he had seen the Holy Grail or some great treasure.

"Really?"
"Yeah! Just a second."

I reached into my backpack and let my hand touch all of the food in my lunch box. Then I finally got it—a half an apple—and I tossed it to him. He smirked and gave me a playful glare. I watched him quickly bite into it.

"Good?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"You should have something else. Here, take the other half of my sandwich."

I showed it to him, but he avoided looking and only kept his eyes on me.

"No. It's your sandwich, not mine," he said. "You need it far more than me."
"Not really. I'm not the one who's going back to a studio to dance for another six hours after school!" I told him. "You. Eat. Now!"

I tried to act as motherly as possible. I was going for a Mrs. Weasley kind of voice and attitude, but I don't think he picked up on what I was trying to do. He isn't much of a Potterhead...or a book reader (unless comics count). Not as much as me, anyway. All he did was chuckle and continue eating his half an apple.

"Are the kids nice around here?" I asked him.
"Yeah. For the most part, anyway. Why? Is someone picking on you?"
"No...but they seem to be picking on you a lot. Why?"
"Oh. Just some crazy thing from last year. They're just jealous—nothing to be alarmed about."

He seemed so honest when he told me that. Like nothing was wrong. That everything was fine. So I took his word for it.

A few weeks later, I saw him with some girl, which I soon discovered was Park Miso. They seemed really happy with each other. Were they dating? Like the rumors said? Maybe, now that I think about it. It strange, though, because at the beginning of the year, when Jungkook returned, they seemed to either completely avoided or were incredibly rude to each other.

Months later, BTS finally got another break after "Dark & Wild" was released and they traveled to perform a few concerts. Jungkook would be returning to Busan and so would I. But he would be going back to Busan from Vietnam. I arrived two days later than he did. It was winter break at school and my parents would be celebrating Christmas, since my father was Catholic. Jungkook's family and most of my mother's were atheist, so they didn't celebrate.

Of course, during the break, I didn't see Jungkook much at all. His parents were taking him to doctor's appointments and stuff. Something happened, though. I'm not sure what, but he has to take a lot of medicine now and he's always isolating himself from the family. He told everyone that he wants to get back to Bangtan to improve. He wanted to leave early to return. His family disagreed. They rarely saw their son, as did I. Once he found out Rap Monster and Jin didn't leave and that Jimin would be leaving in a few days, he just had to go back. And he did.

Jungkook is like a brother to me. A really distant brother. We go to the same school and live in the city, but we never talk anymore. Not like we used to. It's never the same. I wish I had the guts to tell him that, but I didn't want it to be awkward.

Jungkook never returned home since that visit in 2014. However, his parents did visit him. And it was hard to handle the news when his parents came back. He wasn't doing as well as I thought. He had dysthymia, a form of depression. However, his parents were doubting the therapist they sent him to. They thought he had full blown depression by now. I was so scared. I couldn't stop thinking about him. He's my cousin and I feel like he's my younger cousin instead of the other way around. He was like my younger brother-from-another-mother and best friend. And he's my only friend at the time...

I returned to school and saw him. He didn't look good at all. He had a pale face and evident dark circles. His lips were a dull, whitish blue tint. And he was just unhealthy looking. He's known for his collarbones, jawline, and general bone structure, but it was too much. He was beginning to look almost skeletal. Anyone who has known Jungkook his entire life would know that. But the problem was, no one knew him as much as I did. No one except his family. And he's avoiding us because he knows that we'll try and stop him. He wasn't the same. So I asked him to meet up for lunch.

"Hi Kookie-oppa!" I greeted him as I saw him coming into the courtyard. "How have you been?"
"I've been sick," he dully told me and then coughed. "But I'm sure I'll be fine."
"Okay..."

I didn't trust him at all. I pulled out my lunch, which was filled with American food that I got from my parents. I purposely brought extras for him.

"Where's your lunch?" I asked him.
"I haven't been able to keep anything down," he told me.
"Well, take this anyway. It's just a sandwich, fruit, and some cookies. Promise me you'll eat it, oppa?"

He took the bag and smiled. There's the old Jungkook I know.

"Thanks, Yunji-ah...," he softly spoke. "You're a good cousin."
"I'm just looking out for you," I smiled.

But silence filled our conversation. No one spoke for a long time. That's when he started to get suspicious.

"You know I'm okay, right?" he asked me. "I'm just going through a little rough spot. We all have them."
"I know, oppa, it's just..."
"It's just...what?"
"Everyone back home doesn't think so. They think you always look sick and that you're too thin."
"They're just saying that. They're overprotective, just like everyone else. You don't believe that, do you?"
"Well...I'm not going to lie, oppa, you're really starting to scare me. I just want you to be happy."
"I am happy! I'm pursuing my dreams and soon, I'll graduate and I'll be legal. I'll be able to do whatever I want!"
"Oppa, I know that you're doing what you love, but you need to put your health before that!" I said as I stood up, trying to reason with him. "I care about you. I don't want to see you so unhappy and ill."
"I'm not unhappy!" he suddenly growled back.

I stood, staring down at him as he sat on the bench, staring up at me.

"Kookie-oppa!" I said. "Don't try to fool me! Everyone in the family knows about your depression!"
"I'm not depressed!" he fought back.
"Don't be stupid! Your parents told me what's been going on. They've been worried sick about you, Jungkook! Get a hold of yourself! You are not okay! I swear, you've lost like twenty kilograms within the past month. You never talk to us anymore either and you have to take so many pills every day! Please, Kookie-oppa...let us help you. Don't push us away..."
"I'm sorry, Yunji-ah," he muttered. "I'll try and be better. I've been stressed and not myself this year because of the busy schedule. Y'know...traveling from here to America, going on tours, promoting, and producing more music. I haven't had time to do what I wanted in forever, so...I've been a little...depressed."
"I glad you finally understand."

He abruptly stood up and tried to tell me something, but he lost his balance all of the sudden. He almost fell, but I grabbed a hold of him and he slowly regained his equilibrium. He put his hand to his temples as he sat down. I could see his face grow paler. He closed his eyes for a few seconds as my heart skipped a beat out of shock.

"Jungkook-oppa, are you okay?" I asked with a quiver in my throat.
"I'm okay," he stammered as he grew extremely pale. "I just stood up too soon. I'm still sick, anyway."
"I think you should go home."
"I can hold out the rest of the day. Then I'll rest."
"Kookie-oppa!"

He saw my concerned look and then gave in. He would be leaving soon to get some well-needed rest. I escorted him to front office and said goodbye to him. Before leaving, I made sure to give him my number in case he needed me.

That girl Park Miso is usually hanging around Daesul and their friends. However, I noticed that she almost disappeared from their group. It became obvious that she and Jungkook were dating by now. And that's when everything took a turn

for the better.

I saw her, Jungkook, and surprisingly Isaac in the courtyard. Miso laid her head against Jungkook and took small bites of her lunch. Isaac sat in front of them and talked. And to my surprise, Jungkook had lunch. That's when I started to eat with them.

Throughout the rest of the school year, Jungkook started gaining weight, especially muscle. He seemed to be happier and more extroverted. Luckily, he was also on hiatus until 2015. He was becoming noticeably healthier. I reported what I saw to my family and they were all pleased.

Even though life was going well for Jungkook, he, Miso, and Isaac were all getting tons of hate from the popular crowd at school. Every day, they were shot with dirty looks and rumors about them quickly spread. And one day near the end of the school year, Isaac disappeared from our daily lunch meetings in the courtyard and we saw him back with the popular crowd. Miso and Jungkook ignored him. So I did too.

The "I Need U" era came quickly. I was in Busan when the promotion and music videos came out. Our family was so happy for Jungkook. We saw the videos and live performances and he looked very healthy and happy. There was nothing to be suspicious of.

The "Run" era was next and it too came very fast. Jungkook, yet again, missed a lot in the first semester of school. But it didn't really matter, considering the fact that he was a senior, he didn't have many difficult classes. However, I did! And I found it hard to keep up with Jungkook this year.

During the second semester, his parents went to visit him. He was slipping back into old habits. But it seemed far worse than normal. Once I found out about their observations, I tried to watch him as much as possible at school. But I could never really find him. However, he did have my phone number and we were texting.

Are you okay, Kookie-oppa?

I'm fine. You shouldn't worry about me.

I can't help it if you worry me, though. I don't want to worry about you.

You have your own things to worry about. I don't want to be a burden.

Your parents told me that you're slipping into old habits again.

Please stay strong.

I am.

You saw me earlier in the year.

But that was so long ago!

It's 2016 now.

I've still been preparing for many concerts, like for award shows and stuff.

I have the HYYH concert in Seoul.

Don't change the subject on me.

I'm not.

Oppa...

What's wrong?

It's just...I am a little...depressed.

Oh, Kookie-oppa...

I can't help it, Yunji-ah. I don't want to be like this!

I know, oppa. I'm sure you'll pull through.

You always do.

I'm with six other amazing hyungs and...I'm not happy.

I'm doing the things I love, but...I'm not happy. Everything is such a chore now...

That's just what happens when you're depressed.

I hate feeling like this.

Do you want me to come to your dorm to cheer you up?

No...I'll be okay.

You've been eating, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

I love you, oppa.

I love you too, Yunji-ah.

And that was all I knew. And since he graduated, we don't see each other anymore. He is always with Bangtan, singing or dancing, but he's never the same since he left school. I've always offered to cheer him up, but he either doesn't respond or changes the subject.