Younghee

2:12

As I saw Jihoon's shadow disappear into the streets, that was when everything sinked in.

He hated me. 
He wanted to forget about me, to forget about us. 
He was going to be an idol after all, what can I say to that? 
I'm just a petty newscaster in the making.

I helplessly dragged myself upwards so that I can plop on my bed. My mind isn't working and my eyesight is getting poorer from the tears that won't stop flowing.

My vision became blurry as twars streamed down. I'm letting myself suffocate from the muffled breaths I was currently taking. I wanted to end it all. I wanted to but I can't.

I can't and I wouldn't. What would people think of me? A loser who got rid of her own life just because of a break up. Jihoon wouldn't want that.

Jihoon.

Why'd you do this? I thought you loved me. Was I the only one who felt in love? Was I the only one laughing and blushing when I was with you? Was I the only one who really cherished our relationship?

I don't understand anything.
I don't understand anything at all.

I stared and stared at my ceiling until I saw the rays of sun creep inside of my room. The sunlight hit me square on the face but I'm too numb to even feel my eyes burning.

I laid on my bed motionlessly for hours until I felt my skin heat up and decided to just close the window.

As I sat up, I felt all of my energy drain out and my feet began wobbling. Great. Even my body is giving up on me.

I crawled towards my window and stood up with the help of a nearby chair. I reached for the window seal so that I could close it but suddenly I lost my grip and then I found half of my body dangling outside the window.

Everything happened too fast for my non existent brain to acknowledge it.

I tried reaching for the window so that I can get back up but sadly it didn't work.

Nothing worked. 
Even my relationship with Jihoon. Nothing ever works.

I tried screaming for help but instead I sounded like a dog who got chocked with its leash.

Great. I'm going to die.

"OHMYGOD! SHIN YOUNGHEE!!!" I heard somebody scream behind me as I was forcefully(!) grabbed and plopped onto my bed.

"OHMYGOSH! Are you okay?" Jina asked. I didn't respond, I'm too weak to even arrange myself on the bed which I was literally thrown by this strong woman.

She held my shoulders and shook the life into me. I groaned and she heaved a sigh. It honestly hurt. I felt like a pair of maracas when she shook me. If only I didn't feel like dying, she would be the one dead by now.

"Okay. So maybe I was a little overreacting with the situation." She shrugged and jumped on the bed.

"It's not my fault though. Jihoon practically called me 49 times and I got scared okay?!"

My ears perked up at the mention of his name and unexpectedly tears started to fall. I was a sobbing wreck and thankfully Jina was silent until I could gather myself to explain.

"You should trust him, Younghee." She advised as I finished telling her what happened hours ago.

I stared at her, baffled by her choice of words. This wasn't the Ahn Jina that I knew. She was sarcastic, strong, and frank (doesn't really know how to choose words properly but frank nevertheless).

"What? We're going to be seniors next year. Might as well be mature about the decisions we make." She shrugged. If I wasn't so sad right now, I would have laughed at her face but that's not likely to happen at the moment.

"So you still hate Soonyoung?" I asked with my hoarse voice. This girl hates Soonyoung's guts but we're all friends even if they don't talk to each other except about dancing.

She rolled her eyes, "GAH! My day got ruined because of that guy. I saw him hours ago, walking past our lawn. He even ruined the single dandelion I had in front." She raised her hands as if choking a person.

I smiled, they should get married or something.

"He probably came after frickle frackling with that senior girl in front of my house." She said and her choking the air became much more intense.

I sighed, I couldn't tell her right? It's a secret between Jihoon and I. So no, I'm going to keep it.

By now, we were both lying on my queen sized bed staring at the ceiling as if something is interesting with it.

"You should trust him, Younghee." She repeated.

She sat straight and stared at me, saying,

"It's for the best."

-

If this or if this is good (which it isn't) comment anyways so that I can learn from you, my amazing readers. 

짝짝 병 ~
- 모나