He still remembers the first time he met Chaeyeon. It was a blind date set up by his mother, and honestly he didn't expected much about it. He thought he would just leave after the blind date and forget the woman like he used to do on his previous blind dates. But what happened was totally opposite. She is pretty, he can see that she is pretty but he also can see that she hides a secret, something that pain her. The first word that comes from Chaeyeon was I'm a widow. He didn't expect it so he was taken aback.

His mother set him up with a widow?

Junmyeon is man with words first than actions, so he didn't jump into any conclusion as why her marriage is broken. He asked her if that's matter and Junmyeon still remember the look that she gave to him. A look of judging. She is judging him if he's telling the truth or lies.

She chuckles bitterly. "Isn't it? Isn't ity matter the most to you men?"

Junmyeon raises his eyebrows as he take a sip of his drink. "What makes you think so?"

"You know what?" Chaeyeon runs her fingers through her hair. "I know you wouldn't like getting married to a widow. Let's tell our mother that we are not suitable for each other."

Junmyeon nods in understanding. Might sounds cliche but this is the first time Junmyeon deal with a woman like this, straight to the point. "I think we suit each other. We can try this first."

He never think that he will get hooked up with a widow, but something tell him that this woman is for him. He still remember her face when he called his mother and tell her that he's in relationship with Chaeyeon. The reason why he wanted this woman as his only one, it's because she is matured. At first, that's the first one thing that caught him. He admitted that he is good looking thus his previous blind dates only focus on his good look but not any other things. Such a turn off.

Chaeyeon don't care about him. She never care about his existence even after they got engaged. It took a year for their engagement to happened, and a year for her to work in his company-after so many persuading and all. Junmyeon was beyond happy that Chaeyeon agreed to work with him and helps him to expand his company.

They went to date a lot (Junmyeon planned everything) but Junmyeon knows he hasn't get Chaeyeon's heart yet. Hers was somewhere else, she was distracted and he knows she wasn't ready for relationship but Junmyeon still tried his best to wins her. The fact that she is so secretive bother him a lot. Like why? Why couldn't she tell the truth if she's hiding something? For two years, Junmyeon didn't ask her anything simply because he trust her, and he doesn't want to come out as being pushy. Past is a past. Junmyeon doesn't care about her past.

But today, he learn the bitter truth. The decision of hiring a private investigator to spy on her was a stupid decision he ever made. He did it out of curiousity but then he promised himself that if he ever get a proof that Chaeyeon is hiding something, he won't see it. He would ask the investigator to burn it. But fate says something different. He was surprised to when he snatched the papers from Chaeyeon only to see a picture of her with Jongdae, the photographer he collabs with. The proof were there, from call log to an audio of their conversation.

His heart hurts a lot.

As time passes, Junmyeon actually fell in love with her, hard. He is head over heel for her. He wanted to beg for her to stay, he wanted to hear that she want to stay with him, that she at least love him even not as much as him. When Chaeyeon open up her heart to him, he was so so happy. He's imagining the wedding with her, no one else but only her.

Junmyeon rest his arms on his forehead as he keep his eyes shut. A sighs escapes from his lips. After two years, after Chaeyeon decided to start over with him, after Chaeyeon decided to open up her heart to him, is he ready to let her go?

A drop of tears fall on his cheek, remembering how hard he try to win her but at the end everything break into pieces.

***

It's still there. He never touch anything since the incident. It's bring him pain whenever he look at the room, whenever he passed by the room, but he can never get rid of the room. He wanted to forget but he couldn't. The memories of Chaeyeon saying she wasn't ready for the baby and how she lost the baby still lingers in his mind. He wanted to hate her for the rest of his life, but he knows he couldn't. The room is the only reason for Jongdae to hate her.

If he could go back to the past, he wanted to comfort Chaeyeon instead of drowning in his own sadness and sorrow. He should know better that Chaeyeon was hurting, more than anyone else. But instead, he did a stupid decision and lost both of his loved one.

If only he could go back to the past.

If only.

Today is the day he will put an end to this long and tiring hateful journey to Chaeyeon. She didn't make any mistake, he should be the one to be blamed. Jongdae scans the room for a moment before he begin to pick up the toys and put it in a box. The baby's clothes are all neatly folded inside the box. The baby's bottles milk and pacifiers are placed in a small plastic container. The memories of them happily decorating this room flashes back in his mind, hurting him like always. A single tears drop on the box.

"Son."

Jongdae look up from the box, meeting his mother's eyes. His mother has a soft smile plasters on her lips as she enter the room, sitting next to Jongdae on the floor. She scans the stuffs around Jongdae before she help him without saying anything. Only after a moment, she speak up.

"Moving on?"

Jongdae slowly nods. "I will be giving all these stuff to donation centre. For those in need."

His mother nods. She close the boxes and look at her son after. "What about Chaeyeon?"

Jongdae knows that his mother still love her. That it still hurts her when Jongdae divorced Chaeyeon, and that she want Chaeyeon as her daughter-in-law. As selfish as this sound, Jongdae want her back too. But will she accept him back? After what happened years ago? and recently?

"You know your son better."

Jongdae forms a thin smile, finally putting a salotape on the boxes to secure it. His mother take his hand into hers, softly caressing his hand with mothers touch. "You both suffered long enough. If there's a chance for you both to be together again, grab it son. Don't waste it again."

Jongdae nods, but still didn't say anything. Simply listening to his mother's voice.

"It's time for you both to move on from the past. Nothing good will come if you only looking back at the past."

Jongdae kept saying it to Chaeyeon, that she need to move on. That she need to be profesional when it comes to work. But the truth is, he can't. He can't do that when he's working with his ex-wife, the one he love with all of his heart. There's time when he wanted to hug her and tell her that he is sorry for everything, that he want her back. He want his old life with her, the happy one.

Can he get her back? Even when she has fiance?

Does she still love him? Or her love is for someone else now?

Should he grab the chance and try to win her back?

***

Funny how her fate turns out like this. Even after what happened, she is a fool for believing that there will be a kind man for her. Even after what she went through, she still hopes for someone who will trust her wholeheartedly, not just saying he will but his action says something different. Chaeyeon send her resignation letter the next morning after the incident, she don't give a damn care about her work anymore. Call her unprofessional and what not, she can't faced Junmyeon anymore. She doesn't want to work with her ex-husband anymore. She has made her decision.

The weather is rather gloomy when she woke up at ten in the morning. She slide open her curtain, and what she see is a gloomy, dark sky. The rain pour down heavily, but not enough heavy to make her stay indoor. She doesn't want to think about anything for now, she need a fresh air. She then get up from her bed after thinking about where to go and what to do after being jobless, she can't possibly go to her mom's house, no?

With a black umbrella in her hand, covering her from soaking wet, Chaeyeon walk down to the road heading to the nearest cafe to have her brunch. She have her laptop with her so she won't be that bored having lunch alone. Even with her umbrella, her jeans is wet, her shoes is wet. She sigh, wondering if this is even a good idea to walk under a heavy rain.

Moment after, she arrives at the cafe half dry. She put the umbrella aside and get inside the cafe. There aren't many people just like what she expected. She made an order and settle her self near the window, just so she can engulf herself in her own feeling while having her brunch, and watching her favorite movie. Perhaps. The drama was playing for five minute when the buzz vibrate, startling her. She get her brunch set before sitting down on her place again.She sips on her hot chocolate while watching the movie.

The weather is still gloomy by the time she finish watching the movie and finish her brunch. The rain is still pouring down heavily, and doesn't show any sign to stop anytime sooner. Realising that she's been in the cafe for almost two hour, she pack up her thing and decided to just go back home and continue sleeping. Ah something that heartbroken person will do, sleeping. What the hell is she doing today? Why is she out of her mind?

As she walk closer to her apartment area, she notice a familiar car and she regret her decision of going out today. She should've just stay in her apartment and cut contact with anyone else. Her steps become faster as if it could prevent her from seeing the person that she doesn't want to.

"Chaeyeon."

He calls out her name. But she doesn't stop, he follows her step from behind. "Chaeyeon please, we need to talk."

Eventually, she stop from walking. She turns around and see Jongdae with his white umbrella, his expression is not good. Chaeyeon didn't say anything but just stare at him. They both are staring at each other until a loud thunder occur, shocking them both.

"Let's get in my-"

"No. Say whatever you want now. Make it short."

Although it's cold and she is half drench in rain, she doesn't want to stay any longer with Jongdae. She will listen to whatever he want to say and leave, so he won't disturb her again. Seeing how Chaeyeon look uninterested, hurt him. But he still want to try.

"I'm sorry. I-

"You've apologised for the nth time including today, Jongdae. I forgive you." She said half-heartedly. She is expression-less, the look in her eyes are empty. She may said that she forgive him, but Jongdae didn't believe her. Jongdae let out a sigh, his grip on the umbrella stick tighten.

"I still love you." He said softly. "I love you. My love for you never disappear, Chaeyeon."

Chaeyeon let out a dry chuckle. Jongdae is rather surprised that she can even laugh in this situation, but later he realise it was a sarcastic laugh. Lauhing at what he just said. Chaeyeon is still expression-less while looking at him, waiting for him to speak again.

"I know things were out of control and so messed up. I want to fix it again, Chaeyeon."

"Fix it? Nothing can be fix anymore, Jongdae."

Silent. Only the rain drops can be heard.

"My world destroyed the moment you divorced me without any pity left in your heart. It can't be fix anymore, please Jongdae..Just leave me alone."

The moment Chaeyeon turns away, Jongdae grab her wrist to stop her. His umbrella was thrown to somewhere else, sharing one umbrella, he look at her desperately. Chaeyeon bites her lower lips when he touch her face with his manly fingers, caressing her cheek softly with a longing look in his eyes.

"Don't you love me anymore, baby?" His voice is soft and desperate. The way he calls her make her heart aches, all the bittersweet memories flashes back in her mind. She shakes her head lightly, "You and I are not the best match anymore" She said.

Jongdae expected this, but he didn't expect his heart would hurt this much. He would let her go, if that will makes her happy. Loving doesn't mean you can own the person. He caress her cheeks softly, "I'm so sorry, sweetheart." He cups her cheek lovingly, looking into her eyes for the last time. "I still love you, I love you so damn much." He places a last soft kiss on her forehead, long enough to make Chaeyeon letting out a sob.

"Is this what you meant by you don't have any relationship with him?"

The both of them pulled away in surprised, eyes wide looking at Junmyeon who's staring at them dead serious. Junmyeon take a step forward.

"It's not like that. You've misunderstood us."

Jongdae tried to explain. Jongdae didn't know yet, what happened between her and Junmyeon yesterday. Junmyeon let out a scoff as he look at both of them from head to toe. "Misunderstood?" He chuckles. "Ah right, sharing one umbrella, you kissed her forehead while saying I love you. of course it's a misunderstanding right?" His eyes are sharp, the soft look in his eyes gone. This Junmyeon..she doesn't know him. Chaeyeon keep silent, doesn't have a heart to correct the misunderstanding. After all, he don't trust her anymore. Why would she bother to correct him.

"I'm sorry. It was my fault. Chaeyeon didn't expected that I would do that. It's just-"

"You sure?" He's staring at her while asking that, as if he wanted Chaeyeon to tell Jongdae that he's been waiting for him to did that to her. "Stop fooling me, I know you guys are in a relationship behind me." Chaeyeon scoffs in annoyance, while Jongdae is just confused. What the hell is happening??

"She cheated on me, with you."

"Honestly.." Chaeyeon speak for the first time after Junmyeon talked nothing but bull. "You can say and believe whatever you want. Please, both of you. Leave me alone."

Junmyeon grab her wrist before she can even leave, "Don't walk away from me, I'm not finish yet."

Jongdae, sensing that something is not right try to pull Junmyeon away from her. But what he got instead is a punch from Junmyeon. She gasp in surprised, eyes widen as he look at Jongdae who now staring at Junmyeon with a serious expression. The fight between them months ago flashes back in her mind. She tried to pull her hand away from Junmyeon's grip but to no avail. "Let me go." She said, getting tired of this situation once again.

"Do you even deserves her?" Jongdae retort back. "Accusing her of cheating behind you without a proof?"

"Proof?" He shoves Jongdae away in anger. "Aren't you the proof? What I saw just now is the proof. Come on, you guys can't tell me otherwise."

"That was not a solid proof ! If you love her, you should listen to her explanation !"

"Explanation? There's no need for explanation when I saw her with you, her ex-husband !"

"Okay." She looks at Junmyeon after being silent. "I cheated on you. Satisfied? Now, let my hand go."

Junmyeon is staring at her, without any loving gaze like before. Just like what happened before, she thought. "You are just going to admit it so you can live with him again, don't you? So you can call off our engagement and marry him again, no?"

"Are you not tired?" Chaeyeon let out a heavy sighs before she forcefully pulls Junmyeon's hand away from her wrist. She look at both of the men, who's only being a headache to her at the moment. "Are you guys not tired? Because I am."

"Let's just end it today and please, let's not see each other again." She said again when there's no respond from the both of them. Just when she thought they understand what she was saying, Junmyeon blurted out; "Do you think I'm not? God knows how hard I tried to win you, but this is what I get?"

Junmyeon point at both Jongdae and her. "Is this what I get after trying so hard to win you? To get you? You cheated behind me? and I got no explanation from both of you? Seriously?"

Once again, she let out a heavy sigh. This is her limit, staying here longer and she will lost her right mind and explode her angers at the both of them.

"Listen. Jongdae and I have nothing to do with each other. We divorced and I don't have that kind of feelings for him anymore." That hurts Jongdae honestly but he knows that was his fault. He nods. "You and I,-" Chaeyeon continue, pointing at herself and Junmyeon. "Tried our best for this relationship but it didn't work. You don't trust me, Junmyeon. You will always doubt me in the future if we continue this. No matter what excuses I give to you, you won't believe me. You both won't no matter how hard I tried to save my relationship." She inhales deeply. "I'm not finish yet." She said sternly when Junmyeon about to speak. "I don't want our marriage end up with divorce again because it hurts me."

Tears drop on her cheek.

"We can't continue this relationship, you don't trust me. The moment you hired a spy, you don't trust me Junmyeon."

She glances at Jongdae before she continue again, noticing the tears in Junmyeon's eyes but she decided that she need to put a stop at this. If this relationship is hurting her, it will be best to put an end to this. She doesn't want anyone to suffer because of her and vice versa.

"Without trust, we can't live together."