(1,792 words)

Jonghyun's P.O.V.

I felt the cold temperature of the brick behind my back as I sat down against it, my knees pulled up to my chest loosely. My notebook was resting on my thighs, and my pen was hovering over a line, unsure of how to word what I wanted to write. I shivered as a chill ran down my spine from a breeze that blew past. I heard laughter come from a group of boys a few feet away.

It was that one group; what were their names again? Oh, right. There was Lee Jinki, the oldest. He liked to be called .. Onew, wasn't it? In order of age, Kim Kibum came next, and he was apparently naggy, y, and called himself Key. After was the tallest, Choi Minho. I saw him playing basketball sometimes, outside my house where a court was. The maknae was two years younger than Minho, lee Taemin. But he was still accepted, and had some pretty great friends.

Sighing, I looked back down to my notebook, where only a line was written. Frustrated, I closed it and put it in my bag, unable to get anything to flow. I decided to watch the group in front of me instead, until lunch break was over. They had stopped in place, and Onew was doing some sort of body gag. I watched him, but was unable to laugh as the rest did. I was too worried about what would happen after my last class, when I got home.

The bell rang, and I stood up, picking up my bag and heading to my next class, English. I opened the door and sat in the corner of the room, farthest away from the front, where the teacher stood and gave lectures. I could still hear, yes, but this way there was no real easy way for people to watch me. I had been late once, and was placed in the middle. I could half of the people behind me's eyes on my back, and it was extremely uncomfortable.

The rest of the class piled in slowly, and the bell rang just as the last student walked in. The teacher closed the door and started to speak in English. I tried my hardest to pay attention, to understand but other things crept into my thoughts. My uncle, mostly. My hand absentmindedly went up to my eye, feeling the swollenness from the abuse of the night before. I grimaced, and just did the work the teacher assigned.

After, I grudgingly went to my next class, which passed by quickly. When class was over, my feet carried my short stature home, and I shakingly brought out my key, afraid to open the door. But my fingers twisted it through the hole, and the door opened. I heard a hiccup, which confirmed that my uncle was drunk. I closed my eyes as the door lightly shut, placing my bag on a chair by the entrance. I heard my uncle stumble into the front room, and opened my eyes. He looked angry, extremely angry.

"You're here 2 minutes later than yesterday!" He growled, and grabbed me by the neck, hoisting me up against a wall. I silently took it, nodding in apology. His fingers tightened around my throat for a few seconds, cutting off oxygen intake. Then he was backed away, and I was on my feet, my hands around my throat. His fist wrenched back and hit me straight in the jaw. I felt it unhook, and pain seemed to shoot through me down to my feet. But my uncle wasn't done yet.

He nailed me in the gut, and I fell onto the ground; onto my knees. I took the hits to the head, trying my hardest not to scream out in pain; biting my lip. I tasted blood as my teeth broke skin, and he stopped, storming upstairs to pass out on his bed. I swallowed the metal-tasting red liquid, and stood up, stumbling over to the bathroom. The mirror showed a battered and bloody version of myself, I winced at the sight.

I cleaned up the blood, and took some painkillers to dull the sheer suffering I was about to endure. Taking my jaw in a firm grip, I tried to shove it back into place. I heard the satisfying click as it snapped back together, just as I passed out from the excruciating torture. I didn't wake up for three hours, as the pain faded from my jaw. While unconscious, I dreamed of what it would be like if maybe I had friends, maybe some people like Kim Kibum, Lee Taemin, and them.

I was awoken to a bucket of ice water poured over my face. My uncle had a permanent sneer on his face as he lifted the bucket away, and I recognized a smell as he walked away. It was food. Quickly getting up, I raced over to the kitchen, where a nice hot meal was waiting for me. My uncle hadn't cooked for me in three days; I'd been surviving on water and whatever I could scrounge from the neighbors' garbage. He locked the cupboards, and I could never get them open.

I hid my joy as I gobbled up the food, it's warmth sliding down my starchy throat. My uncle was eyeing me with disgust, telling me to slow it down, or my jaw would come out again. I obeyed, slowing my eating. When I was done, I still felt slightly empty; I wanted to eat more. But I didn't dare ask for more food. I just exited the room, and locked myself in my own. Sitting down on my bed, I opened my phone out of habit. Even after three years of having no texts, I still checked to see if I had any.

My jaw dropped open, a hint of pain being shadowed by the little envelope in the corner of the screen. Someone had messaged me. Slightly excited, I hurriedly opened the message. It was from an unknown number, so obviously someone had gotten my number and just sent me a message. I took a deep breath before reading, in case it was just a string of insults, because I had recieved some of those before.

"Hello, Kim Jonghyun-sunbae. It's me, Kim Kibum, from your English class. Me and my friends were wondering if tomorrow during lunch break if you wanted to hang out with us. We noticed you just sitting against the wall today, and you looked lonely. It was Taemin's suggestion, and we all agreed. So if you could send me a message that would be great! :) -Keybum"

I read it over four times before I realized that it was real. Somebody wanted to at least try to be my friend. An excited grin burst over my face, but as a sharp pain shot through my jaw, it softened in reflex. I quickly typed up a reply, my fingers shaking. It took me a bit to type, my twitching fingers kept hitting the wrong letters. I read my own letter over ten times before sending it.

"Hello, Kim Kibum-hoobae. I remember you from English, you like to called Key, right? I would really like hanging with you guys at lunch, I haven't done it in a really long time. Also, how did you get my number? Thanks~ -Jonghyun"

My fingers hovered over the send button. What if this wasn't really Key, but just another bully? But no, he had said he saw me at lunch, and no one else had walked by. I lightly hit the touch screen, and held the phone there for a few seconds as it sent itself to the phone tower. I put the device back in my pocket after, looking around my room. I cleaned up a few things that lay on the floor; some clothes, a few school papers.

There was nothing special to my room, or the house. My room was painted a dark yet pale blue, the color faded away with time. My bed was in the middle of the room, against the wall on the right of the door when you walked in. My dresser was opposite the bed, a mirror on the wall above it. Beside the dresser was a small TV stabd, not that I ever watched television. On the other side of the dresser was a full wall-length window that led out to a balcony. I went on the balcony at times where life seemed too harsh to bear. I had thought about jumping off at times, but I always thought about what would happen in my dad came home, and I was dead.

He had left three years ago, placing me in the 'safe' care of my uncle. I still wasn't sure why he had left- no one would tell me straight. But from the lie he told me, and what he had discussed with my uncle, it was something to do with a woman. He had found someone, and she already had children and didn't want anymore. So I was left behind, and my uncle began beating me the first day. I tried to call my father in the first month, but he never picked up.

My thoughts were disarrayed as my phone vibrated in the front pocket of my jeans. I fished it out, checking the new text from Key. The feeling of having someone want to talk to me brought a smile to my face. I couldn't help but thank God that he had finally brought me a friend, perhaps. Maybe he'd finally noticed that my life . But enough of that, I needed to reply back to Key.

"Yeah, I prefer Key over anything else. And I got your number from the school database, it wasn't too hard to get, I just had to charm the secretary into giving it to me. :) -Key"

It was short, but the two sentences gave me hope that maybe I would turn out to be sort of normal. But then I remembered the raging ball of fury and hatred that was in the room next, and all hope disappeared. With the abuse and battery in the picture, I knew I would never be normal. I couldn't even look at a girl and have any attraction to her. Maybe I was doomed to be an emotionless freak.

With that thought, I layed down on my bed and typed a message to Key saying that I was tired and needed to sleep. It was 10:00; I had been out for a while after that incident with my jaw. Closing my eyes, I dreamed of Key. I dreamed of me and him being best friends, close friends...

KYAAH~ I didn't even post a chapter and I already have feedback. :) Makes me happy~ <3 So, here's the first chapter. I know it might be really detailed and stuff, kind of hard to read at times(at least, it was for me XD) but the next chapters will be easier to read as it won't just be Jonghyun and his thoughts. (:

I appreaciate constructive critiscm, and love is accepted <3 Haha~. Well, I better get working on Chapter 2~ :D

-twarry♥