“We all matter - maybe less than a lot but always more than none.” - John Green

Himchan’s phone alarm rang at eight in the morning.

Scrunching up his face from the sound pollution, Himchan fought off the dream state he was in. It took him a while for him to wake up completely. When he did, he groaned softly and tried stretching his arms, only to hit something solid next to him. Blinking confusedly, he turned to his side and found Yongguk sleeping beside him. His sleeping face looked so peaceful. It brought a small smile on Himchan’s lips. Last night they’d ended up playing the board game for the entire night. After Yongguk learned the right way to play, he’d become extremely excited and competitive. Since Himchan himself was highly competitive, he too refused to give up. He couldn’t remember how they fell asleep though. He wasn’t even sure who fell asleep first. Still smiling at the sleeping Yongguk, Himchan sat himself up and drew the curtain to check out the morning sky.

“Honey, breakfast’s ready!” Came his mother’s voice from outside. Himchan was about to reply but then she opened the door and froze when she saw Yongguk. She gasped but then blinked a few times. “Honey, who’s that and why’s your room messy?”

“It’s my friend, Yongguk.” Himchan introduced. “We hung out last night and we kinda fell asleep after playing the board game.”

Himchan looked down the floor and indeed the room was messy because of the cards and books scattered on the carpeted floor. Yongguk shifted beside him. He rubbed at his eyes and raised himself up, yawning a ‘good morning’ to Himchan. When he saw Mrs Kim, he was quick to get off the bed and introduce himself to her. Mrs Kim chuckled at him. Himchan too couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“Come join us for breakfast, Yongguk. I’m sure you’re hungry.” Mrs Kim beckoned the young man to follow her downstairs.

“I’m famished,” Yongguk corrected as he rubbed at his stomach. “Can’t wait to taste your cooking, Mrs Kim. I’m sure you’re a great cook with how lovely you are.”

“Aww, such a sweet boy. You really know how to get on people’s good side, don’t you? Where did you meet this young man, honey?” Mrs Kim turned to her son, raising a brow at him.

“It’s kind of a random meeting,” Himchan narrowed his eyes as he recalled the first time meeting Yongguk.

“Himchan saved me from getting crushed by the elevator door when we first met. It was a close call. I would’ve lost my head if he hadn’t pushed the button.” Yongguk said as they sat down at the dining table.

Mrs Kim made a surprised sound and placed a hand on her chest. “Is that true?”

“Gosh mom, don’t listen to him. He’s being overdramatic. I just pushed the button and he rushed into the elevator.” Himchan chuckled before he playfully glared at Yongguk.  

“It really depends on the person’s perspective though,” Yongguk gesticulated. He then took a bite of the pancake Mrs Kim had served on the table. He hummed and closed his eyes as he enjoyed the taste. “Mrs Kim, you truly are an artist when it comes to cooking breakfast.”

Mrs Kim perched her elbows on the table and looked at Himchan with a wide grin playing on her lips.

“I love this friend of yours, honey. You should bring him here more often.”

-

“So your mom was lovely,” Yongguk said as he and Himchan walked down the street.

Himchan snorted and nudged at Yongguk with his elbow. “You were the one being lovely. You can really charm people don’t you?”

“Well, I try.” Yongguk shrugged with a little chuckle.

“Oh by the way, you almost forgot this.” Himchan fished out Yongguk’s necklace from his pocket and handed it to him.

Yongguk took it and stared at it for a while before he shook his head.

“Keep it.”

“But it’s yours.”

“I want you to keep it. Think of it as a friendship gift.”

“That is terribly cheesy.” Himchan scoffed.

Yongguk laughed and leaned forward before he put the necklace over Himchan’s head and let it settle on his chest.

“Suit you better too. I think I made the right decision.” Yongguk said as he took a step backwards and looked at Himchan.

“Just because it suits me doesn’t mean that you should give it away. It looks important.” Himchan reasoned as he fiddled with the silver wings.

“I like being your friend and that’s important to me. Quit trying to argue with me and just keep it,” Yongguk replied before he added with a whisper, “You’re gonna ruin the cheesy moment.”

Himchan smiled and shook his head with disbelief. He then fixed his gaze on Yongguk’s wrist. There was a white watch wrapped around it. It didn’t look like any ordinary watch though because the numbers shown on the screen seemed to be indicating about other kind of information instead of the time. Himchan noticed that Yongguk had been wearing it since day one and he never really took it off.

“I think that watch is the most important thing to you, huh? I never see you take it off.”

“Oh this?” Yongguk showed him the watch. He chuckled and shook his head. “No, this isn’t a watch actually. It’s a Holter monitor. It records the heart rhythm.”

Himchan’s brows creased in confusion. “Why would you need it?”

“Heart defect.” Yongguk said. When Himchan looked at him with his mouth agape, he smiled in return. “I was once a patient of a heart disease when I was little.”

“You never told me,” Himchan said.

“It’s something from the past. I’m good now although I do have to take steroids once in a while.”

“But you’re still wearing the heart monitor thingy.”

“I started wearing it after the transplant, when I was thirteen. It’s just a precaution. My doctor insisted.”

“So do you have like monthly appointments with your doctor?”

“I see him almost every day actually.” Yongguk said. When Himchan raised a brow, he started chuckling. “It’s not that I’m still sick. I just meet him for the sake of catching up. We’re like best friends, given that we’ve known each other for more than ten years now. Remember the beer I bought the last time we went to the supermarket? It was for him.”

“Oh,” Himchan nodded slowly. Somehow he was curious about the doctor. “So what’s his name?”

“Gong Yoo hyung. He’s quite handsome and popular among the patients.” Yongguk smiled. “Do you want to meet him? I’m going to see him today. No, wait. I want you to meet him. You should come with me.”

Himchan found no reason to decline so he agreed to Yongguk’s request.

-

Yongguk was right. Doctor Gong was indeed, good-looking. He had this rather charming smile when he introduced himself to Himchan. He looked young for a man in his 40’s. Despite his age, he acted younger than he was. It was proven so when Himchan saw the interaction he had between him and Yongguk. The paediatrician was the one who treated Yongguk when he was first diagnosed with a heart defect at the age of ten. The moment they met, Yongguk had become attached to him. He treated Doctor Gong like a big brother that he never had and Doctor Gong always played with him whenever he felt alone being at the hospital.

If it wasn’t for Doctor Gong, Yongguk wouldn’t have made it through with his heart transplant. Yongguk himself told Himchan about it. It made Himchan wonder more about Yongguk’s childhood. He had the need to know how Yongguk managed to be strong despite his young age. He couldn’t imagine a young Yongguk lying in a hospital bed looking frail and sad.

Yongguk was lucky that he had gotten past his tragic years. Now that he was healthy and equipped with a fully functional heart, he could live his life just like everyone else. He always had this strong and confident vibe to him. Himchan was grateful that he didn’t have to see Yongguk looking depressed.

“Yongguk is like the most cheerful kid I’ve ever met,” Doctor Gong said when he sat down with Himchan on a bench in the hospital garden. Yongguk had insisted to bring the children to the garden so they could play Frisbee. “He’s extremely optimistic. Even when he found out that his heart didn’t work the same compared to a normal person, he never stopped smiling. When he was admitted into the hospital along with other children, he was the one who cheered them up whenever one of them cried in the middle of the night. He liked taking care of people even when he himself was sick.”

“Sounds like Yongguk indeed,” Himchan nodded in agreement.

“I was so amazed at how strong Yongguk was. His parents were extremely worried though. They felt like it wasn’t normal for Yongguk to not feel sad when he found out about his condition. You know, like he didn’t take notice of how serious his condition was. Nevertheless, I convinced his parents that Yongguk was just that kind of person who wouldn’t give up easily and it was the truth. Yongguk never gave up trying to get better. He prayed every night that one day he would be able to be healthy again and treat his parents to a big meal. And you know what? He did get to do it. After the heart transplant he studied hard in school and graduated. He then did a part time job and bought his parents a full course meal.”

“That’s amazing,” Himchan said. He had his eyes fixed on Yongguk as the latter threw the Frisbee in the air and cheered for the other kids to catch it. When he noticed Himchan looking, he smiled and waved a hand. Himchan smiled back. “Yongguk talks about you non-stop on our way to the hospital.”

“Really? I’m honoured.” Doctor Gong gave him a sheepish smile.

“That’s funny because he said the same thing about you. He feels honoured that the two of you are still close friends even after years have passed by.”

Doctor Gong chuckled at the statement and hummed. “You know, we call Yongguk a living miracle.”

“What’s the reason?” Himchan asked.

“At the age of thirteen, he had his heart transplant. It was a successful one and it was a huge relief to his parents, including me. But on the third day after the heart transplant, his body started rejecting it. He went on a cardiac arrest and his heart stopped beating for a long time. We thought we failed to save him and I was so close to blaming myself but then miracle happened. He opened his eyes and he was gasping for air—you know, like someone who’d just come out of water. Suddenly his heart started working again. It seemed like he was resurrected from death.

It truly was the best miracle I’ve ever seen in my life. It just proves how strong-willed Yongguk was to live. Can you imagine that? A thirteen year old like him could be so positive even at the brink of death. I still remember him telling me that he refuses to die young. There’s a saying that goes having the will to live when you’re fighting a disease or depression is the most effective method to being invincible. I gotta agree with that.”

Himchan turned his gaze to Yongguk again and smiled. Seconds later a nurse came over and called for Doctor Gong. He talked to the nurse and then turned to Himchan when the nurse had walked away.

“A patient needs me. I’ll have to excuse myself now. It was nice meeting you, Himchan.” He held out a hand and shook Himchan’s hand. He then leaned close to his ear and whispered, “Between you and me, this is the first time Yongguk has ever introduced someone to me.”

“Oh…” Himchan blinked, not knowing what to say in return.

Doctor Gong gave him a pat on his shoulder and smiled. “You must be really important to him. You better be good to him, okay?”