Instead of going to sleep that night, Sana and I decided to stay up and watch a movie. We were wrapped in the blankets next to each other, and I couldn't concentrate very well on the movie with how close she was to me. She looked so pretty, expecially when she laughed.

"Why are you staring at me?" Sana noticed me, a little annoyed.

I panicked a little. I tried to think of something to say. What would Jongin do?

Well, he'd probably tell her what's on his mind. So I should tell her what I'm thinking.

"It's just that you're so pretty." I laughed shyly, I really have no confidence.

"Oh please Momo, pay attention." She shook her head and continued watching the movie.

I sighed quietly. I realized it was going to take more than that to get her to notice my feelings. Coming from Jongin, or really anyone else, it would be obvious how they felt. But from me? Sana and I are so close, things like this are normal for best friends to say, right? It doesn't have the same meaning. What is something I could say that could flatter her?

Oh no, just the thought of flirting makes me nervous.

Sana looked at me again. "We didn't have to watch a movie if you're so tired."

"I'm not tired."

"Momo, you've been zoning out the whole time. You're not even paying attention."

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "Just a lot has been on my mind lately..."

Sana paused the movie and closed the laptop. "I understand. You wanna talk about it?"

I do, but not with you... I pursed my lips. "Okay, but I don't really know how to explain it." I stood up to turn the light back on before laying back down on my bed.

"Is it the girl?" I nodded. "Can you tell me who she is?" I shook my head. "Momo!"

"I don't wanna tell, okay!"

"How am i supposed to help you if I don't know who she is?"

I rolled my eyes, Sana's pushiness only made me more nervous.

"I just... I don't know if it's right to like her."

"What makes you say that?"

I took a deep breath. "There's just so many different things... for one, I don't want to lose her friendship. If she finds out I like her, what if she becomes disgusted by me?"

"She won't be disgusted by you, that's ridiculous. Anybody would be lucky to date you, Momo."

"You're only just saying that cuz you're my friend."

"No, it's true! You're kind, loyal, caring, funny, talented, and very beautiful. I'm sure every girl is waiting in line to date you."

"Hmm, yeah, okay." I rolled my eyes. "I'm sleepy, let's go to sleep."

"Why are you always changing the subject when it comes to her?" Sana pouted.

"I'm embarassed!" I covered my face with my blankets.

Sana sighed. "Fine, but one day you'll have to tell me everything."

I peaked out at her. "Well, why don't you ever tell me about Amber?"

Sana scoffed and shook her head. "What's that supposed to mean? You think I have a crush on her or something?"

"Oh please, don't tell me you just admire her with the way you look and talk about her. Tell me, what is it that you like about her?"

Of course it was torture. You think I really wanted to hear about this girl? Especially the way Sana told me enthusiastically about everything Amber that made her weak.... it broke my heart.

No, I'm not going to change myself... not a lot... but I want to become someone Sana can fall in love with. Why wouldn't I want to hear about the things that she loves in a person? Why wouldn't I try to become someone who she could admire?

After meeting with my dance teacher and Jongin to discuss the theme of our future dance performances, I packed up my things and was met by Sana at the door.

"Oh, hi! What a nice surprise," I smiled at her.

"Wanna go out to eat?"

"As much as I'd like to, I have a lot of work to catch up on." I smiled sadly.

"Oh, okay... I understand. Well, I'll ask Dahyun or Nayeon. See you later!" She walked away, leaving me dumbfounded. And here I am thinking I'm special...

"Are you dumb?" Jongin was behind me.

I rolled my eyes. "It's the truth, I have a lot of homework to do and I need to spend a lot of time on it... I'm scared of failing this class."

Jongin sighed and nodded. "If you'd like, I can help you. But really, if you want to 'woo' Sana, you'll have to try a lot harder than whatever that was."

I was annoyed, but he had a point.

We decided to study in the library and he helped me out with my work for an hour and a half before we decided to take a break.

"You starting to understand it now?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it's so much clearer. You should really replace the teacher."

It was a joke, but Jongin was genuinely touched by it. "You really think so?"

"Yeah... you're really good at teaching. I guess that's why you make a great leader for our team."

He shrugged. "I'm not really that good. Really, it's just a learning process for me. It's difficult and takes a lot of responsibility, which didn't affect me so much in the past since I'm the youngest in my family."

"Really? Me too, well I have an older sister."

"I have two," he laughed. "So I win."

"Oh, okay." I shook my head. "But really, you're good at this. But it must be a lot of pressure."

"Yeah it is, but now we're working together so I'm good now."

"Ah, is that the only reason why you want me to be your partner?"

"Yes, it is," he laughed. "Anyways, what's been happening between you and Sana? So far, it looks like not much has changed."

I frowned at him. "You know I'm not good at this... Yesterday I told her she's pretty and she just shrugged it off."

"You're best friends, that's not going to be enough."

"I know..." I bowed my head. "Well, I asked her..." I looked around to see if anyone could hear before lowering my voice. "I asked her about Amber... ya know,  what she likes about her and everything. I don't know Jongin... the way she talks about her, it really makes me lose hope."

Jongin shook his head. "Don't talk like that! I know you aren't one to give up Momo, don't give up on her because of this."

I nodded. "Well, she told me a lot. I don't know, is this right?"

He shrugged. "Let's hear it."

I sighed. "i actually wrote it down afterwards..." I pulled the list from my jacket pocket and read it to him:

sporty

outgoing

ouspoken

fearless

boyish

beautiful

chill

determined

I handed the list to him then covered my face in embarassment.

"Well, not gonna lie, these are some traits you could work on."

"Jongin! You're not helping..."

"Well, you're already very determined, I can tell you that. Not very boysih though."

"Listen, I'm just too feminine and I'm not going to change that."

"As you shouldn't," he smiled. "But you can work on the fearlessness. You're always so stressed."

"Stressed? That's not true."

"You're right, it's an understatement." He shook his head and put the list down. "Listen Momo, some of these traits are good to have. But the goal isn't to change who you are, but to get Sana to notice you. We have to find out what it is that she likes about you. That aside, you probably should work more on your social skills, because they're lacking. but right now, let's keep working on this homework, okay?"

I groaned and nodded. He's right but... that doesn't mean I agree.

"Wait... give me that list." I flipped the sheet over and wrote: 

What she likes about me

kind

loyal

funny

caring

talented

beautiful

I handed it back to Jongin beaming. "She also told me this last night."

"Well, that's good. Now I think I can find a way to help you out..." He smiled.  "Also, you have a very good memory. I think you'll do good in this class as well."