I held her hand tightly. “I’m nervous.”

She looked at me and giggled. “Yah. It’s only a ferris wheel. You’re not gay, are you?”

I glared at my best friend. “Shut up.”

“Don’t be afraid, Hyukkie. I’m here. Nothing bad will happen, okay? Trust me.”

Those words made me smile. “You’re really my best friend.”

She also smiled. “Tch. Kaja. It’s our turn,” then we went towards the ferris wheel.

I sat beside her and after a few seconds, we started moving. My heart began to race, my breath’s uneven.ugh. I don’t know why I’m here.

Rae Yoo giggled. “You’re really afraid?”

I looked down at my feet. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Tch. That shows your gayness.”

“Shut up.”

“… You’re blushing again.”

I shifted my gaze to her. “W-What?”

She smiled and pinched my cheeks. “You’re so cute, oppa.”

I think I blushed again. “Yah. Stop teasing me.”

“I’m not. You’re really cute, oppa.”

“Whatever,” then I looked back at my feet, hiding my red face. “Aish! I won’t do this again. Never.”

“Straighten your legs!” Rae Yoo shouted.

I held on the bar tightly. “Ani! I really can’t do it,” I shouted back.

“Aish!” then she skated towards me. “You’re already old but still, you can’t skate?”

“I’ve never been in this kind of place before, araso? So let me take these shoes off. I’ll just watch you. If you want me to cheer for you, then I’ll cheer. Just let me-”

“Ani,” then she held out her hand. “Kaja.”

I shook my head. “Ani.”

“Kaja,” she repeated.

“Ani.”

“If you still want me to give your strawberries back, take my hand.”

My eyes widened. “You what?!”

“Kaja,” she said again.

I sighed. “Araso,” then I took her hand and tried my best not to fall down.

We made our way towards the center of the rink. My legs are shaking. Aish! Why does Rae Yoo know lots of things? I think I’ll die if I continue to ride her trips.

“Relax,” she said.

“I’m trying, araso?” I blurted out.

“Now, I’ll slowly release your hand. Maintain your balance, okay?”

I took a deep breath. “Araso, araso.”

“Good,” then she started moving away from me.

She moved really slowly. I did what she told me. I made myself relaxed and focused on my balance. But I failed. I felt myself falling down so I immediately pulled Rae Yoo’s hand. Of course, we fell. I opened my eyes and realized that Rae Yoo’s on top of me. Our faces are just a few centimeters away from each other. My heart raced. I can feel her breath on my face.

“Try again,” then she stood up and held her hands out again. “Kaja.”

It’s already 11 pm, but we’re still lying on the ground. It’s really relaxing to stay here at the open field near our houses. I looked beside me. She’s probably sleeping now, for her eyes are already closed. I wanted to touch her face but I can’t. Maybe I’ll just take a look at it.

“Oppa,” she suddenly said, her eyes still closed.

“Ne?” I answered.

“… Are you happy?”

“Of course, I am. Wae?”

A smile crossed her face. “Me, too. Whenever I’m with you, I’m always happy.”

“… Jinjja?”

“… Thanks for being a good friend.”

My eyebrows creased. Why is she telling me those words? “You’re weird today. Is there a problem? Tell me. I’ll listen.”

“Nothing. Don’t mind me.”

I know something’s going on. But I won’t insist knowing that. “… Araso.”

A few minutes of silence passed. Then she spoke again.

“Whenever you’re sad, just look at the stars and smile,” Rae Yoo said.

It made me thought for a while. She’s really weird today. She hasn’t been like this before. I’m not used to see Rae Yoo like this.

I scoffed. “Yah. Stop being so serious. It’s giving me goose bumps.”

She smiled again. “Mianhae… But remember what I told you… Just look at the stars and smile.”

“… Araso.”

Then she opened her eyes and looked at me. “Want to go home now?”

I shook my head. “It’s still early. Let’s just stay here for a while.”

She nodded. “Araso,” then she looked at the sky above us. “… Gomawo,” she whispered, but loud enough for me to hear it.

“Gomawo,” I said and looked above me.

-End of Flashback-

I went to the amusement park to ride the ferris wheel again. This is just my second time but I’m pretty confident that I can do this now. I took a deep breath and waited for my turn.

“Still afraid?”

I shook my head and smiled. “Not anymore. I can do this,” and stepped towards the cab.

Being there doesn’t feel the same as before. I felt lonely. But I need to move on and enjoy the view myself. Move on, that’s it.

After the ride, I went straight to the skating rink. Also my second time. But I can do this. I put on the skates and went to the rink. I took a deep breath.

“Still don’t know how?”

I smiled. “I can do this. Watch me,” then I started skating towards the center.

Doing that isn’t as exciting as before. Sure, I improved a lot. But I miss the times I fell down and scratched my knees. But as I’ve said before, I should move on.

The last stop, the open field. I sat down and looked at the sky. I stayed there for hours. I witnessed the beautiful sunset but still, it’s not yet time to leave. The stars are already twinkling. I watched them. Then I tear fell from my eyes. I’ll admit. I miss her.

It’s been a week since Rae Yoo left me. I’ve already accepted the truth that she’s gone, that she’s not going to come back anymore. But it still hurts. She didn’t even say goodbye to me. She hid it from me. She never told me about her sickness, that she’s already dying. She didn’t give me chance to tell her the truth. I still haven’t told her that I love her.

“Remember. Just look at the stars and smile…”

I looked at the stars again. After minutes of trying, I smiled.

“Hyung.”

I looked around and saw Kikwang. He sat beside me and patted my shoulder.

“Kaja. You’re already hurting yourself.”

I tried hard to maintain that smile on my face as I answer. “I’m okay. Don’t worry.”

He sighed. “You love her, right?”

Then I failed. My smile vanished because of those words. “… Ne.”

“That’s why we should leave now,” then he stood up. “Kaja. Your mom’s already worried.”

I stood up, wiped my tears and looked up again. “Gomawo,” I whispered and left the field.

****************************************************************************

Honestly, I tear up when writing this one.:)) Hope you liked it, SuperNiki04!!

- ctrl_me