Finally, I’m going to debut.

It’s been two years since I started training very hard to debut as a soloist. Yes, it’s hard, especially when you’re a shy person. I found it hard to get close with the other trainees. They’re all good and definitely better than me. And it made me intimidated. But the first week of my training went smooth, because of him.

I fell on the floor, breathing heavily. I’ve been practicing for almost six hours and I feel really tired. It’s just my first week of training but I do have to improve before this week ends. One more round, Nancy.

“Take a rest now.”

My eyes shot open. That voice… is familiar. I sat up and looked at the figure standing before the door, smiling at me. “Y-Yesung-sunbaenim?” then I stood up and bowed down at him.

He walked a few steps towards me. “You’re the new trainee, right?”

I nodded. “N-Ne. Nancy-imnida.”

“Nancy,” then he also nodded. “So, are you trying to push yourself to your limit? That won’t be good for you.”

I looked down. “B-But I need to practice more. I’m not yet that good in dancing.”

“But you don’t have to drain yourself. Look at our Kyuhyun. He’s been an idol for almost five years now. Have you seen him dance? Yes, he improved but still not enough to be a good dancer. And besides, you’re just starting on your training. Why rush yourself? You’re not going to debut tomorrow, right?”

“… But I really do want to improve. I want to debut soon.”

Silence filled the practice room. I inwardly sighed. I should have just left and rest, like what he said.

“Just continue that tomorrow. I’ll let Donghae teach you some of his moves. Is that okay?” he asked, breaking the silence.

I slowly looked up at him. “S-Sure.” He’s not who I wanted, though.

“Okay. I’ll see you around,” then he smiled at me and left.

Yes, Donghae-sunbaenim taught me some moves and told me some tips on how to improve my dancing skills. We also ate lunch with some of his groupmates. They’re fun to be with. But I want to be with him. I want to know him better. But I guess, there’s no way that thing will happen.

“You’ve improved a lot,” Donghae-sunbae complimented after watching me dance Sorry, Sorry.

I bowed down. “Gamsahamnida, sunbaenim.”

He smiled at me. “You know what? I see myself in you. When I was still a trainee, I always train myself, not thinking of how late it is already. All I do is to train and train harder. I worked hard to be what I am now. And I think you’ll be better than me.”

“You’re way too better than me. I think I can’t beat you.”

“Be positive. I know you can and you will. Don’t worry. My members and I will help you.”

I returned his smile. “Gamsahamnida,” then I bowed again.

“No problem. By the way, Yesung-hyung told me to call him once I’m done with training you,” then he stood up. “I’ll go now. Just wait for hyung here, okay?”

I nodded. “Okay. See you around, sunbaenim.”

He smiled once more before leaving. I sat down on the bench and sighed. I never thought training would be this hard. But I know all of these hard works are needed to be a good idol, just like him. I want to be like him, I want to be as good as him. That’s why I need to train hard and of course, debut successfully. All of these will be wasted if I don’t debut. That will frustrate me and my family. And I won’t let that happen.

 “Is something bothering you?”

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up. “Oh, sunbaenim,” then I stood up and bowed down.

He chuckled. “Stop calling me sunbaenim. We’re already friends, right? And besides, I’m only four years older than you. You can just call me oppa. It’s shorter,” then he sat on the space beside the spot I left a while ago.

“A-Araso, oppa,” I said. I have a feeling that I blushed a bit.

“Come on. Sit down.”

I hesitantly sat beside him. I looked down, not wanting to meet his gaze. I’ve been alone with him for a few times already but still, I feel uncomfortable. Maybe because my heart starts to pound hard whenever he’s there and that’s the reason why I can’t think straight. Yes, he has that impact to me. Surprisingly, I love that feeling.

“You’re always thinking deeply when I’m with you.”

Those words made me jump a little. “M-Mianhae.”

“Tell me. Is there something bothering you? Or maybe you have a problem with me around you?”

I looked at him and shook my head. “N-Nothing. This is nothing. Sorry.”

He continued to stare at me and this time, I didn’t break the eye contact. I can see that he has many questions in his mind. I can’t blame him. I always act weird when he’s there. I’m sure he’s already noticing that.

“Oppa?” I said after a few minutes of silence.

“Ne?” he answered?

“… How is it to be an idol?”

He smiled at me and looked away. “You’re really excited to debut, huh?”

“To be honest, yes.”

“Me, too. That’s what I felt before. I can’t sleep for days, thinking of whether people will like me or not. After debut, things went crazy. My schedule suddenly got packed. People always follow us everywhere. We got only few hours of sleep. It’s like a whole new life to me. But after a few years, I realized that being an idol isn’t a thing on how to compete with other idols, but something to test yourself, if you’ll change in front of people of if you’ll continue to be yourself.”

“Continue to be yourself,” I whispered.

And he heard it. “Yes. And that’s the hardest part of being an idol. It’s easy to act as someone you’re not, someone better. Acting as your real self has consequences and most of them aren’t that good,” then he sighed. “Luckily, people accepted me as the real Jongwoon. Now, there’s no need for me act as somebody else.” He paused for a moment then looked at me. “So, be yourself. People will love you more if you’ll stay as the ‘Nancy’ in front of me. Pleasing others isn’t the most important thing here – it’s pleasing yourself. If you’re satisfied with what you are, that’s good. People will love you, no matter what.”

I smiled at him and nodded. “I’ll take note of that.”

“Good,” then he smiled back at me.

I felt someone tapped my shoulder. I looked up and saw Siwon-oppa smiling at me. I bowed down at him and smiled back.

“Are you ready?” he asked me.

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Good. So, get ready. Yesung-hyung is already there. He’ll introduce you to the people in a few minutes.”

“Got it. Thanks.”

“Okay. I’ll go now. By the way, congratulations,” he smiled at me once more and left.

I slowly picked up my microphone and breathed heavily. I’m feeling excited and nervous at the same time. I just hope that I’ll pull it off nicely. I’m pretty confident with my song, but still I need to be careful with singing it. After a few seconds, I walked out of the dressing room and went backstage.

“So Yesung-sshi, it is said that SM as a new soloist,” I heard the MC said.

“Ne,” Yesung-oppa answered. “I’ll be introducing SM’s newest idol. I’ve seen her train herself for two years. I’ve seen her effort and also her passion. She’s someone who won’t give up easily and I salute her for that. She’s a friend of mine and I’m proud to introduce to all of you, SM’s newest star,” then he paused for a while. My heart also stopped for a few seconds. “… and the girl I love, Nancy.”

‘The girl I love…’ Those words echoed in my head. What snapped me out of my thought is the audience’s screams. An idol confessed that he loves someone. Of course, they will react like that. I took a deep breath then walked towards the stage. The music also started and I began singing my song.

‘The girl I love…’

Does he mean it? I don’t know but I hope he does.

After the show, I went back to my dressing room and found him there. He looked at me and smiled. My heart froze once more but became normal after hearing a word from him.

“Nice performance,” he said. “Thank God SM found you… that I found someone like you.”

“O-Oppa… I-Is it true?” I managed ask.

He stood up and walked towards me. One second passed and he hugged me tightly. His actions surprised me. “Our manager asked Leeteuk-hyung to introduce you… but I insisted on doing it. I did that since I’m really planning to confess,” e tightened his hug. “Wae? Still can’t believe that I actually love you back?”

My eyes widened. “Y-You…” I trailed off, not wanting to continue.

“Donghae noticed it. And I didn’t deny that I also like you since the day I first met you at the studio.”

I smiled. “I’m not really good at keeping secrets.”

“Ne. You’re pretty obvious,” then he chuckled.

I playfully hit his side and hugged him back. “… I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you, too, my idol,” then he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “Remember that.”

I'm baaaaaack!! This one's for nancy520xd. Hope you like it!

Next oneshot: Change of Heart

- thederpchanyeol ♥