Six Degrees of Separation – Krystae (inspired by the song six degrees of separation by the Script)

 

 

Flashback

 

 

 

It was a cool evening, and I was to take you out on a picnic. You looked so touched when I presented the dishes  I made which were your favs – beef stuffed bibimbap, bulgogi hot soup placed in a thermos, egg sandwiches (without cucumbers of course), some mango pudding and mango juice. It took me awhile to calm you down saying it’s nothing before we start eating as you started to cry because of my efforts. I chuckled while wiping your tears because despite them staining your delicate face, you still looked breathtaking in my eyes. Oh how I’m in love with you.

 

 

         Today is the day I’m going to make you mine. To say that I’m nervous is an understatement. My insides are a nervous wreck. It all started as a small crush, I admire your beautiful features and how you kept topping the class, leaving me far behind like a kid who just got to learn her ABCs. And then the teacher assigned you to be my tutor, and as cliché as it sounds, I found myself liking you. Days without you were definitely miserable. I longed for your cute smile, your unique nasal voice, the way you would make faces when I lose focus staring – at you, of course, and mostly I just missed your presence beside me. The latter alone could make me be in a good mood and energized the whole day. We became such close friends in a short amount of time and I like that, because that gives me reasons to visit you frequently. And now, those feelings had turn into love. I know it’s kinda soon to be labelled as love, but I couldn’t imagine having to see you with another guy.

 

 

     You were talking about how your day was while slowly eating the mango pudding but my heart was pounding so hard I didn’t pay heed to what you were saying. My mind was blank and all I could hear and see was my furious heartbeat and the way your thin lips move as they open and close to eat. It was now or never. Your face scrunched a little as you tasted something hard. You looked more than surprised when you saw a the diamond ring I hid at the bottom of the pudding. Seeing your reaction, I had almost wanted to run but braced myself.

 

 

“Taeyeonnie, w-what’s this?” I froze for a minute but forced myself to speak up, once and for all. Even if I get rejected, at the very least I tried. I took a deep breath and spoke.

 

 

“Soojung-ah, I-I don’t know since when..but I’ve liked you for a long time now..I know, you’re Miss Perfect while I’m just an average high schooler. I don’t have charms like you. You’re beautiful, you’re cute, and funny. Also taller than me..hahaha. But Soojung-ah…I don’t even like you anymore…My feelings has grown into love. I keep asking myself, why. The answer’s simple. There is no reason as to why you love someone. This coward girl just wants to be with you, take care of you and protect you from any kind of danger from this world. I just love you so much. Krystal Jung Soojung, will you be my girlfriend?” I closed my eyes as I popped the question when suddenly I heard a sob coming from Soojung. The girl of my dreams was crying and I panicked.

 

 

“I-I’m sorry Soojung. Forget what I said. I-it was a joke. Argh I shouldn’t done that. No, it’s okay to reject me, I mean, we could still be friends, right? I’ll take my time in getting over you, I promise don’t –“ My words got halted when she placed her finger on my lips.

 

 

“You talk so much, don’t you?” I looked into her eyes, mine were confused. She began to chuckle and laughed at my expression.

 

 

“I like you too, Taeyeon-ah. Wait no, I love you too, Taeyeonnie.” The girl smiled beautifully and it radiates my heart, though I didn’t really absorb what she said just now.

 

 

“Yah! Did you hear what I said??”

 

“H-huh? Sorry I was in a daze by your smile. What were you saying?” I guess my cheesiness caught her by surprise as her cheeks turned pink.

 

 

“I-I’m not going to repeat this anymore.” She paused. “I-I like you too.” Soojung looked cute by lowering her face to avoid eye contact with me. I grinned widely at the answer and eagerly asked again.

 

 

“S-so you mean you will be my girlfriend??” I received a cute nod from my girl who is still not looking at me and pulled her closer by her chin. The timing was perfect, with the sun beginning to set, so I dove in for a kiss. It was short but really sweet. Soojung looked like she wore some blusher on her face. I’m pretty sure I looked the same too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

First, you think the worst is a broken heart, what’s gonna kill you is the second part.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Kim Taeyeon, the you think you’re doing?!” I felt the bottle of beer I was about to gulp was being snatched by my bestest friend, Kwon Yuri.

 

 

 

“Ha- *hiccups* Yuri-ahhhh *hiccups* I want some moreeee pwease give it to meeee…” I acted out like a kid who’s just lost a candy while tugging on Yuri’s hand.

 

 

“No more, Taeng. I don’t even know how you could drink all of those when you know you have a low tolerance of alcohol!” she pointed at the bottles and glasses of alcoholic drinks sprawled on the counter. I didn’t pay attention to her and tried to get the bartender to hand me another drink. Yuri fished out some cash in her wallet and gave it to the bartender. I felt myself being lifted of the stool and clung onto Yuri for support. We walked – more like I kept on wobbling to her car. Yuri placed me at the backseat so that I could have more space and warned me not to throw up.

 

 

 

 

“Taeyeon-ah, what has become of you? I’ve told you not to go wasted anymore, Taeng. It’s ruining you. Please, I beg you, stop this.” I just gave a bitter chuckle and let the tears fall down freely. ‘Will it ever stop hurting?’

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the third is when your world splits down the middle.

 

 

 

 

 

“CRASH!” “CRASH!”

 

 

 

 

“Taeyeon! Ouch, ! Stop it!” Yuri grabbed both of my wrists to prevent me from destroying everything in my house. I struggled against her hold but relented because I had no strength left after gulping down those bottles of beer. My surrounding seemed hazy and blurry, but my heart and mind wasn’t. It kept thinking and reminding me of her. Yuri, for the nth time helped to clean me up. She began to sweep the floor from the mess I made and changed my clothes. We were best friends since forever and have seen each other countless of times so I didn’t mind her stripping me. If it wasn’t for her always taking care of my mess after the break up, I bet I wouldn’t even be breathing this instant. I don’t even know what do I live for any longer. My happiness had vanished a long time ago and I had lost my will to live simply because she wasn’t there. Being in a four year old relationship means a lot to me but I screwed it.

 

 

 

 

    Yuri sat down next to me on the couch and softly my dishellved hair. “This isn’t the dorky Kim Taeyeon I once knew. And if you could please, bring her back. Taeyeon-ah, you’ve been skipping work for months now. Even if you’re not, you’re wasted at night. I’ve already told your boss it’s a family emergency but I don’t think it’s going to work anymore in the future. How are you going to move on with your life? I’m not always gonna be there to take care of you, you know.” A tired sigh came from her. I know. I’ve been drunk almost everyday for the past month. I can’t help it. I love her too much. But she’s not coming back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And fourth, you’re gonna think that you’ve fixed yourself. Fifth, you see them out with someone else.

 

 

 

 

 

   Yuri was right. Since that night, I vowed to myself not to trouble anyone else anymore. Especially not Yuri. I admit, I had been selfish. I told her I didn’t need her to cater to me and just let me be consumed by time. My parents didn’t know about my condition. They thought I was still dating Soojung and I didn’t wanna worry them. So since that night with the help of Yuri’s advice, I attended work the next morning. I worked, and worked so hard from early morning till late at night. I was the first to arrive at work everyday (which was not my usual self) and go back last after everyone leaves. I kept indulging myself in paperwork. I guess it’s kinda to take my mind off her. And it did help. I’ve behaved myself and didn’t touch any alcoholic drinks for a few weeks now. My close friends were glad for my change but they were still a bit worried because I’m starting to beome a workaholic but I brushed them off and said that I’ll be fine.

 

 

 

 

   It was the usual working day and I thought I’d grab some caffeine to refresh myself after hours of workload. My colleagues asked me if I wanted to join them for lunch but I declined politely. I did that almost everyday. Sometimes I’d just lie to them that I had a heavy breakfast at home already.They even offered to buy me some sandwich because according to them, I look like a living skeleton. Who am I kidding? I’ve lost so much weight but I didn’t care. I just needed to work and keep on working to get things off my mind. If I were to stop just for awhile, my thoughts will drift to my memories with Soojung. And I can’t let that happen. I would just break down go back to my drunken stupor.

 

 

 

 

   I drove to the coffee shop situated a bit further than my workplace. It took awhile but it was worth the trip because the shop sells the best beverages. I grabbed my usual latte macchiato and headed out to my car parked across the street. When I stepped out, I saw the silhouette of someone so familiar to my sight. My heart skipped a beat. ‘It can’t be…Soojung?’ I saw the back of the girl’s body, her hand locked with a guy’s muscular one. Her jet black hair was as long as I remember. I ran to the other side of the street carelessly without looking at the traffic. I was lucky enough I didn’t get hit. I grabbed the girl’s shoulder and spun her towards me.

 

 

 

“Soojung-ah!” my eyes widened as well as hers, except mine was surprised and hers was confused plus mad, probably because I tugged a bit harshly.

 

 

“What the hell?!” the muscular guy beside her growled and glared at me. I bowed many times and apologized profusely to them saying that I mistook her for someone else. People were looking at the scene I cause, but I didn’t give a care in the world. I sighed and chuckled bitterly to myself. ‘What was I thinking…’ I shook those thoughts away and took a deep breath before walking towards my car. I cursed inwardly for parking it so far away but I had no choice, it was lunchtime and the nearest parking lots were full.

 

 

 

    I drank some of the coffee on the way and dropped it when I saw her. This time, my eyes didn’t play a trick on me. It is Soojung! Her long, straight hair was now blonde with black tips which almost made her unrecognizable but I’d recall that face anywhere! She was walking with a guy, too. I know him. He tried to pursue Soojung since before I asked her to be my girlfriend. Even after we’ve become official, he was still trying to get her attention, but Soojung asked me to just ignore him as she has no eyes for anyone but me. They look too comfortable with each other to my liking. Soojung was laughing at what I presumed to be his lame jokes. I felt a pinch in my heart knowing that she’s not easily amused and to think that someone other than me made her smile…it angers me. Kim Jongin, that bastard. I jogged past through the crowd, bumping other people in the process and sped when I saw them about to enter a car.  I was surprised my senses worked at that time because the traffic suddenly got heavy. By the time a lorry passed and the light turned red, I was ready to catch up but the car the two got on was gone.

 

 

 

 

“Dammit!” I cursed out loud while kicking none existent rocks on the ground. I huffed and put my hands in my blazer pocket, and headed towards my car. When I got it, the previous incident got to my head and I couldn’t find the strength to turn on the ignition. “She looks so happy…” I pressed my face against the steering and let the tears run free, not caring that I was pressing the horn as well, attracting bystanders. ‘I want you back, Soojung-ah.….’

 

 

 

 

 

And sixth, is when you admit that you might’ve ed up a little.

 

 

 

 

Flashback

 

 

    After the Christmas party last year held by Sooyoung, our former classmate, almost everyone in our batch attended. Sooyoung was filthy rich, so she had no trouble accommodating all of us into her ‘house’, which was literally a mansion you’d see in dramas. We had some food to fill up our empty stomachs as we knew Sooyoung had the best chefs to cook a buffet for her at big events like this. Our classmates, especially, gathered around in a circle before went gossiping away. I chuckled seeing their behavior. Even Soojung went away from me to meet up with Sulli and Amber, her two bestfriends. ‘They never really change, huh…’

 

 

 

    I wasn’t really much of a talker so I decided to grab a drink before heading out to the balcony. I didn’t mind that Soojung left me because I know she has her own friends, and I thought I could enjoy some time alone. I opened the sliding door and was met with a pair of surprised eyes. Stephanie. Hwang. Miyoung. She was dead gorgeous with her strapless mini dress, and damn, her fine legs. I met her eyes again and stuttered a little. It didn’t help that I used to have a huge crush on her before I liked Soojung. I apologized to her for interrupting and was startled when she chuckled with her eyes turning into crescents. They were mesmerizing and got me staring. She ushered me to go there and we had a nice chat. Like I said, I wasn’t much of a talker, and I was shy, so that’s why I didn’t go after her before. I don’t know where I had the courage to ask Soojung out, though.

 

 

    We were outright different, but Tiffany, as what she’d like me to call her, somehow managed to keep the conversation interesting. We talked about our interests, our work lives, and also romance. I told her Soojung was my girlfriend and the gleam in her eyes seemed to falter a little, but I thought I was only imagining things. Just like her beautiful face and personality, I was drawn to her. When we were about to part ways, she asked for my number and we immediately exchanged. Tiffany offered me to join her for lunch the next day and just like the dense person I am, I accepted it. First, I was excited to have lunch with a pretty girl (and stupidly forgetting I have a girlfriend) and second, she was my crush! Although it was in the past, the feelings began to resurface, even though I didn’t really know whether it was pure or just lust.

 

 

 

   So from there onwards, we began seeing each other. Tiffany doesn’t seem to mind that I’m taken, and so was I. We started to hang out more around each other, go to the movies, grab some food and treat each other like a couple. I also hung out with Soojung less and lesser. Often, after the dates with Tiffany, Soojung would scrunch her nose due to an unfamiliar smell. I knew it was Tiffany’s perfume, because the girl sure put on them a lot and Soojung had an extra sensitive nose but I only told her it was something new I tried on. She trusted me, and I thought I was safe. On some days, she would snuggle up to me and ask me to go out somewhere to eat, but I stupidly replied that we could just eat at home. I was blind to see her emptiness without me. She had only wanted to go out on dates with me, her girlfriend.  And our bond was getting thinner.

 

 

 

  One day, I brought Tiffany to our apartment. Soojung was outstation for a new project she was in charge of at work, and was expected to arrive in another two days. We had some dinner, and lunged on my couch to drink some wine. I guess we were too into the moment that we both slowly dived into a kiss. The innocent kiss turned into a heated one when our tongues collided with each other. Moans echoed around the house and my hands were busy groping her mounds. I was about to unstrap her bra when something dropped that made the both of us stop. “S-soojung..” I muttered slowly. The look in her eyes was one thing that I’d never forget. It was a mixture of hurt, anger, and sadness. Tiffany had already ran out of the house. I ed up. A lot. I always knew Soojung was this girl who would always cry if she’s hurt, or angry. But this time she just kept quiet and stared piercingly into my soul. By the time she turned her back on me, I knew I’d lost her for good.

 

 

Flashback ends

 

 

 

   The next day after the incident, Soojung’s belongings were all gone. No letters, no notes, nothing. Who am I to kid? I’m a trash and I deserved that. But I still loved her. So much. Because after the both of them were gone, I cried to myself everyday thinking how much of a jerk I was to follow my lust instead of being loyal to my one and only love. Yes, I did realize that what I had for Tiffany was only infatuation. I tried going to Sulli and Amber’s houses, only to be cursed and punched at. They warned me not to come near her again for the girl has suffered enough. They told me how lonely Soojung felt those past months but still stayed next to me because she loves me a lot. I broke down in front of her friends when they told me that Soojung didn’t want to come out of her room and hasn’t eaten for days, only to hear muffled sobs coming from there.

 

 

   I dreaded my actions so much, even to this day. Because no one could ever make me feel special like her. I missed our breakfast friendly banters, how each of us would take turns on cooking meals, watch movies during weekend nights, going on cheesy dates, and if we are busy, we would make up with a surprise for one another. I went to her friend’s houses for several times again but after the tenth time, they told me she moved and won’t tell me where to. Only when I pestered them so much that they gave me her address, but I just didn’t have the courage to confront her. I could only pray for her to come back. I was a coward, I admit. But after seeing her with Jongin yesterday, I knew I had to get her back. I just don’t know how. Do I just go and knock her door saying “Hey, I cheated on you, sorry let’s get back together?”

 

 

 

    Tonight, I found myself going back to what I did months ago. Getting drunk and wasted. I know my efforts would be washed down the drain but I couldn’t help it. My mind was in a distress. After my fifth glass, the bartender won’t hand me anymore, saying that he was asked by Yuri to stop me from getting too drunk if I ever were to step into this bar again. With my low tolerance of alcohol, I was already unstable to walk. I drove recklessly to the place my heart brought me to. Soojung’s. When I arrived, I stumbled out of my car, not bothering to unlock it and banged on the door. The door opened, and my heart beated so fast as it has found it’s owner.

 

 

 

“S-soojung-ahhh~~ *hic* you’re so pweettyyy…” I slurred.

 

 

“T-taeyeon?!”

 

“I’mmmm sowwyy Soojungiee…Taetae is sowwyyy…”

 

 

 

“What the hell?!” was all I heard before I passed out.

 

 

 

 

 

A/N : Hellooo! I told it MIGHT be seotae, and taeny update, but I wanted to post this one first, as it is long due. To the person whom requested this, I’m so so sorry for making you wait so long, it’s not that much, but I hope you like it! And yes, it’s a ONESHOT, no continuation lol. Bye!