Yifan seriously upset. Joonmyeon still not telling him anything about his sickness. It’s been a months. Every time he bring a subject, Joonmyen always find the way to avoid and change the subject instantly.

            They're fighting  once too. Then Joonmyeon said sorry with his cute and adorable pout. Shower Yifan with kisses and hug. He really know how to make Yifan not angry. Yifan’s glad that Joonmyeon keep his promise that he won’t get sick again. He’s sneeze not as frequent as before. But still the question lingering in Yifan’s mind. He  try to find the answer through Luhan. He stopped Luhan in the kitchen before his working shift started.

            “You watching drama too much! Myeon has not  a brain cancer or brain tumor!” Luhan snort when Yifan ask his suspicious what he found out while googling.

            “Then what? ” Yifan demand.  

            He remember how the prescription is always related with brain, neuron and for reduce the dizzyness.

            Luhan shake his head. “As much as I want to tell you, I can’t.  I made promise.”

            “Why don’t you break a promise this time. For the sake of Joonmyeon. How can I protect him if I don’t know what exactly I’m dealing with? Is he in life threating disease? “

            “If I made a promise to Myeon, I probably tell you a long time ago. I make a promise to Minnie. You don’t have any idea how serious Minnie when it come to Myeon’ sake. He threathen me.  He won’t hestitate to do extreme thing. So… “ Luhan lift both his hand in despair. He understand how much Yifan desperately want to know.  

            “If you want to know just asked Minnie, okay,” Luhan take his tray and walk out from the kitchen.

            Yifan shake his head in frustation.

            “Dae, help me?” Yifan turn to Jongdae who standing next to him.

            “Sorry, hyung. I don’t know either. I’m sure you know more than me. Myeonmyeon hyung  guarded  his sickness really tight. He said he don’t want make people pity him. And he can handle it perfectly well, “  Jongdae shake is head.

            He as curious  as Yifan. Joonmyeon never talk about his sickness. He really want to know the truth as well. He never really bother before, until he visited Joonmyeon in hospital. It made  him really worried. He need to know what’s his hyung sickness  so he can prevent something bad in the future too.   

            “ What if  you and me, ask to Minseouk hyung together and make a reason with him. Maybe he will listen to us.”

            “That’s really a good idea, Dae! Thank you!”

            For the first time Yifan feel Jongdae not trolling him.

            Yifan and Jongdae planned to ask Minseok on the day when Joonmyeon has no working shift . They knocked  Minseok’s  office couple time  but noone answer.  Jongdae  try to open the door but it’s locked. 

            “Minseouk  is not in here,” Yixing who just passing informed them.

            “Where?”

            Yixing shake his head.  “He said he has to go with Myeon.”

            “Did he said where?” Yifan feel something not right.

            “He didn’t said. But I hear he talk about hospital on the phone.”

            Yifan heart beat faster.  Is Joonmyeon sick again?   He called Joonmyeon to know whereabout immediately.  Joonmyeon answer in whisper,he still in class. Before he ended the phone Yifan can hear a busy sound like siren, announcement called a doctor’s  name  and people in buzzing  like in hospital.  He instantly know, Joonmyeon is lying.

            “Where is Myeon hyung?” Jongdae asked.

            .  “I ‘m not sure. He said he has class for international  economic  but…”  Yifan shake his head. 

            Yifan  definitely remember  Joonmyeon’s class schedule.  He called Luhan and Baekhyun to comfirm his suspicious.  Both said they only meet him at 9 o’clock class.  Joonmyeon hasn’t take another class today.  There’s  no class like Joonmyeon said.  Yifan sure Joonmyeon doing some thing behind his back after Baekhyun said  he saw Minseouk's  car in parking lot in college. 

            “There must be some conspiracy!” Jondae said in very suspicious way.

             Yifan almost boilt in anger. Joonmyeon lied to him? Aren’t they promise to be honest to each other?

            Joonmyeon feel something wrong when he called Yifan but his boyfriend not answer it. He wait in basket ball court. When he's  waving his hands, Yifan only nod with no smile at all.

            “ Fan!” Joonmyeon walk with almost jumpped a little  in giddy when Yifan finished the practice. 

            “Myeon!” Chanyeol ruffles his hair with big smile.

            “Hi  Chanyeol. Baekhyun said he still have to do assigment, he said don’t wait up,” Joonmyeon said.

            He’s waiting for Yifan reaction. Yifan usually slapped Chanyeol every time he ruffles Joonmyeon’s hair. But not this time.

            “Oh yeah. He told me too. Thank, Myeon. “Chanyeol wear his jacket. “ I gotta go! Bye guys. “

            “Don’t forget we practise at seven in the  morning!” Yifan said.

            Chanyeol give him two thumb up.

            “ Let’s go home,” Yifan said and pat Joonmyeon’s  back.

            Joonmyeon nod. It’s just weird. Yifan usually give him a hug or kiss every time he finished  the practise.

            “Fan, are you okay?” Joonmyeon can’t help wonder. They already inside the car and he hasn’t got his kiss.  

            “Yeah, I’m fine.”

            “Are you sick?” Joonmyeon put his hand in Yifan’s forehead.

            Yifan push Joonmyeon’ s hand gently with plain expression.

            “Why  are you… “

            “ I’m just tired.  I’ll  take you home, now,” Yifan answer short and start the engine.

            “ Oh okay.”

            The journey to his apartement really awkward and suffocating. Joonmyeon try to start a conversation but Yifan give him very short answers. Joonmyeon give him a cute pout and start to singing along with a music from the radio.  Yifan still give him a plain expression. Brow knit together and lips in thin line.  He really in bad mood. Maybe Yifan really tired, Joonmyeon thinking in  worried.

            Before Joonmyeon walk out from the car, he lean forward and give a Yifan hug and kiss in the cheek.

            “ Take care, Fan. Have a good rest.”

            Again, Yifan only nod. He’s  not return the kiss.  Joonmyeon almost cry. He  closed the car’s door.

            Yifan keep giving  Joonmyeon silent treatment.  No more kiss or hug. Yifan slowly avoiding him. Joonmyeon can’t stand anymore. He stopped by  at Yifan's  class before basket ball practise.

            “ What happened? Did I do something that made you mad?” Joonmyeon asked.  There’s only them in class. Joonmyeon standing near the door.

            Yifan folded his arms and look bored.

            “Fan, please tell me. You said if you have some thing on your mind you will tell me.”

            “ Yeah and we promise too, that we will be honest to each other. How about that?” Yifan snapped Joonmyeon.

            All of sudden Joonmyeon know the cause of his boyfriend’s behaviour. It must be about his health condition.

            “Well?”

            “What do you mean?” Joonmyeon fidget.

            Yifan snort.  “We promise to be honest.  Then, why did  you lie to me? You went with Minseok to the hospital,  right?”

            Joonmyeon gulp.  Minseok already warned  him that Yifan eventually would know if they went to the hospital behind his back. Yifan has a very strong insting. But Joonmyeon just not ready to tell about his health condition. He asked Minseok in secret and accompany him to meet the doctor.

            “Answer me, Joonmyeon!”

            “I’m sorry. I- I didn’t mean to lie to  yo-you. Be-because it’s really em-emergency. I run out of medicine and I ask- asked Minnie to buy it with me to the hos- hospi- hospital,” Joonmyeon apologies.

            He just left the part that he’s not only bought  the medicine but he’s doing a check up too. The doctor still want to monitor his condition.  

            “Bought  a medicine in hospital? Do you think I will believe that? Don’t you dare lie to me! ” Yifan pointed his finger to Joonmyeon’s face furiously.

              Joomyeon is not someone who easy to lie.  Yifan can see the lies all over his face.  Joonmyeon’s  face look slighty pale and speak in stutter.   He hate liar more than anything.  One simple lies  will lead to another lies until you not sure anymore which the truth.  That’s how he saw his parent relationship crumbled. His mother emphasis many times on how important have honest relationship from the very  beginning.

            “No, really that’s the truth!” Joonmyeon grab a small plastic bag contain a medicine from his bag. “Look! My new medicine and vitamin.”

            Yifan take a deep breath in upset. He almost frustated on how Joonmyeon still keep a secret. Is that hard being honest?

            “ And?”

             Joonmyeon not aswer. He looked down to the floor in silent. He’s  in great conflict. He’s not ready to tell every thing about his sickness. He’s just trying to buy some more time. Hope his boyfriend will understand.

            “ I don’t I undestand you, Joon. We promise to tell everything . Don’t you trust me? Don’t you love me?”

            “I already told you. I have  stomach problem.  I’m not lying!”

            “ You’re haven’t  told everything. I want to know every thing! EVERY THING!” Yifan almost screaming in frustation.  His anger echo in the whole room. 

            Joonmyeon feel like  he’s being slap hard. He still  looked down to the floor.  That’s one thing he never able to tell to anyone but Minseok. That’s too much even for himself.

            “Joonmyeon!”

            “ I just….. I’m sorry I’m not ready to tell you. I-  I just… ,please,  I will tell you so- someday. ”

             Yifan shake is head again. He tell Joonmyeon everything  like an open book. But Joonmyeon keep himself everything. Wrapped  in hundred layers. He feel so exhausting to open one layer at the time but still not know the real truth of his boyfriend. Is he not worth enough for Joonmyeon?

            “I already give you enough time. You being unfair to me! I’m not sure you really care or even love me!” Yifan angrily.   

              “Please don’t say like that.  I do love you. I really love you, Yifan. ”

            “Then tell me!”

            Joonmyeon bit his lips. All the rejection. All the memories of him being  laughing stock come back in his memories. He still vividly remember, once he tell his date about his condition.  He got the pity look.  Slowly from pity his date dissapeared . It take a lot time to cure all the wounded  and feel betrayed .

            Yifan snort really loud. He  snacth  his bag from a table. “ I know you never love me as much as I love you. I’m just wasting my f-ck time!” 

              He walks and leaves  Joonmyeon in tears.

            Joonmyeon can believe his happy time over that fast. It’s just gone. Yifan disappeared from his life. No  more pick up in the morning. They never have lunch together again. Joonmyeon wait many time  in the hallway. He expecting Yifan will come.  But he’s not. He waited  in basket ball court but Yifan avoided him.

             Once they meet in the shop, Joonmyeon try talk to him but he receives a cold shoulder. Yifan even quit his part time job all of sudden without more explanation. But Minseouk know it’s all because Yifan doesn’t  want to meet Joonmyeon again. Minseok  give Joonmyeon an  affectionate hug as soon as his dongsaeng know about Yifan’s resignment.

              Joonmyeon try  caledl him and send him  a text message to the point people will think he’s a stalker. Still , Yifan never answer.  Joonmyeon know how mad Yifan to him but he have a bigger fear. He just hope Yifan will  understand without asking him about him sickness. Is that possible?

            “So,you two still not talking?”Luhan asked when they studying together in library.

            Before  enter the library, Yifan walking in the hallway and saw them. He  passed so fast and not giving a Joonmyeon change to talk.  Joonmyeon just stood freeze with sad eyes. He really want to scream  Yifan’s  name but his just can’t. He know it’s all his fault.

            “Myeon, maybe you have to apologize first,” Luhan said.

            “I did. I apologize many times. I called him but he rejected.  I texting to said sorry every day. But he just….  “  Joonmyeon flung  himself  into a  chair  and take a heavy breath.  “Oh forget it!  We  have a big exam. ” 

           Joonmyeon open the book quickly.

            Luhan gazed his friend with concern.  He remember what Minseok said how Joonmyeon being bully because of his sickness in school. Even his father forced him to do more outdoor activity like his brother. But it made Joonmyeon’s sneeze worse.  Luhan understand why Joonmyeon guarded  his sickness really tight.  At the same time Luhan also understand how Yifan feel betrayed by Joonmyeon. He feel that Joonmyeon that not really loves him. It’s really make Luhan  sad to see  his two friends in such misunderstood situation. 

            “ He really concern about you, Myeon,” Luhan finally said. 

             Joonmyeon give him a deadly stared and knocked  Luhan’s arm with pencil. 

            “Concentrate,Lu. We need to finish  this!” Joonmyeon  shove the book  in front him

            “Fine!”

            “You read chapter two and I read chapter three ,okay,” Joonmyeon open another book. He begin to read.

            But who’s he trying to fool?  All of sudden all the words in his book turn blur. His eyes feel  warm and a  drop of tear fall to  the  book. Joonmyeon wipe his eyes fastly. He really miss Yifan.

            “This shall passed,” Yifan mumbling and talking to himself.  He look around in awkward. Library is not his habitual place. He feel so weird sitting between bookshelf and empty desk.         

            After the class ended, he didn’t feel want to practise and decided to spend his time in library.  He still remember Joonmyeon’s class schedule, but deep down he kind of hope that Joonmyeon would stopped by in here. He probably can watch him from a distance.

              This is his first time sitting  in library alone.  Usually he’s here with  Joonmyeon. Joonmyeon  always know a best spot. They would studying together. Well, mostly Joonmyeon who study, he just accompanied. They would  steal a hugged and kissed. They had to make sure noone saw them. Holding hand under the table and laughing really quite.

            “This shall passed.” Yifan encourage himself. 

            Part of him regretted for let out the anger to Joonmyeon.  But part of him feel that Joonmyeon deserved it.  He just really mad,sad and lonely at the same time.   Yifan’s  playing with  J&Y keychain on his hand.  Reread again all Joonmyeon’s texted. He thinking really hard. Maybe he should reply Joonmyeon’s  texted. Maybe they should talk and discuss all the problem in very mature and civilized way.  But, he already try to talk it before right?  Joonmyeon won’t listen and keep avoiding.  So he deserved to be angry, right?   Yifan groan quietly and  pull his hair in frustation. 

            His phone vibrating with aloud ringtone.  All the student looked at him with disapproving look.

            Chanyeol name appeared on his screen.

            “Man, where are you? We have a practise!”

            “ I know.”

            “Don’t tell me you’re going to skip a  practice again!”

            Yifan let out a small laugh.  Actually he just not in the mood for practise.  He’s not in the mood of doing anything .

            “Coach has been waiting for you. Come’on lover boy! Don’t let  a  love’s problem stopped  you become a number one player.”

            "Oh’ shut up! I’m not skipping practise. I’m on my way!”

            “ Then hurry!”

            Chanyeol disconnected the phone instantly.

            Before put his book to the bag, Yifan exhale heavyly.

           “ This shall passed.” 

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               I'm not really good writing about  fighting scene. Terrible, sorry.  Still two more chapter to go. But I promise it will be happy ending. Thank you for all the comment. You really make me happy.  Sorry for the grammar error.