Baekhyun was standing on his back, feeling something soft under his head. As he opened his eyes widely, the first thing he saw was a beautiful, clean sky and light of the sun almost blinding him. Then a peaceful voice started to hum a familiar song. He was feeling dizzy, but it felt so good, the amount of warmth everything was emitting made him felt like he was in heaven. He felt someone’s fingers going through his hair, as the voice was getting closer to his ear. He turned his head a little and realized it all.. It seems he was somewhere in a lonely, endless and green park and Taeyeon was there with him too, leaning her back on the strong base of a tree and holding his head in her lap. If the sun was blinding, then Taeyeon was outshining it. She was that beautiful! Actually, she is always beautiful, but in that very moment, she barely looked human. Her milky, no flawed skin, that white dress that was fitting her every curve so well and her long blonde logs, falling gently on the side of her perfect shaped face…He felt like coking for a second, the sight was that dazzling!

When their eyes met, she smiled, revealing a strand of pearl-like teeth.

‘You are so quiet, B!’ she said, continuing to play through his hair.

He didn’t reply, just continued to look at her amazed.

‘Did you pay attention at the tree were sitting under?’

‘N-no...’

‘Cherry tree.’

‘And it is in full bloom!’ he managed to say after looking at the tree and again at Taeyeon.

‘I like cherry blossom, I was fascinated with them when I was a kid. They are so pure and fragile, yet bringing so much joy in their short lives.’

Her eyes looked up and melancholically admired the pink treetops, exposing her neck to Baekhyun’s sight. A desire to crush his lips against her pallid neck took over him.

‘You know my parents wanted to name me ‘Cherry’?’ she said, looking back at him.

‘Yes, your dad told me about it when we met at that baseball game.’

‘Huh? How much did he actually say to you?’

‘A lot of things…’

‘He must have liked you, he is not that talkative with people unless he feels comfortable with them.’

‘That’s good. Maybe he won’t be that mad at me when he’ll find out I am playing with his daughter.’

‘Are you playing with me, Baek?’ she asks.

‘No, actually I was never more serious about someone in my whole life.’

He got up from her lap and placed himself in front of Taeyeon, placing his knees on the side of her hips.

‘When I said ‘playing’ I refereed to something else.’

He extended his neck, and looked at her from proximity. Baekhyun’s position made Taeyeon’s body shaken by an obvious shyness. But he could still read a lot of anticipation in her eyes.

For some reason, she looked so perfectly pure in the moment that he felt the urge to corrupt that innocence. He wanted to be that muddy mark on her white soul. To break her into his embrace and crush her lips with his.

He placed his hands around her waist and attempted to capture her lips. He already felt like heaven, all he wanted was just the touch of her lips.

But he didn’t get to kiss her. And it wasn’t because of Jongdae or Tiffany this time. Taeyeon simply vanished into light and bubbles, leaving him dumbfounded. Looking around, not only the girl disappeared, the whole landscape did, he suddenly found himself into complete darkness.  

At first he felt frightened and confused, but it didn’t last for too long as everything slowly started to light up. Baekhyun started to distinguish a very accurate representation of SNSD’s living room, but it was completely colorless. The sofa he waited for her, the window he saw the car parking, even the subtle sent of lavender.

‘You aren’t going to get out of my house, aren’t you?’

An angry Kim Taeyeon comes up to him. Her whole little being looked like it was on fire. He was surprised at how much hate her face could show, he didn’t remember her to be that hostile that last time. Baekhyun opened his mouth in order to tell her to calm down, but then he hears his own voice responding from behind of him.

‘Why are you getting so mad at me, woman? I am just asking you normal questions a boyfriend asks his girlfriend!’

Another Baekhyun showed up. And he was mad as too.

‘No, you are straight up accusing me, making me feel like a stupid cheater.’

‘How do you expect me to think otherwise when you hang out with some guys and hide it from me? Prove me you are not a stupid cheater!’

‘No!’ the real Baekhyun screamed seeing the harsh words coming from his alter persona. But it seems like the two didn’t hear him at all.

‘What do you want me to prove? They are my friends. I was with Tiffany. You know about my collaboration with Crush too. But no, you just have to make a scene as a pathetic, paranoia, no confidence I’ve never believed you are.’

‘Yeah, insult me now!!! Nice move! People told me you are a drama queen, but I turned a blind eye. They were right, actually.’

‘LEAVE MY HOUSE NOW!’ Taeyeon screams and points her fingers to the exit door.

‘FINE! I WON’T RETURN. EVER!’

And the alter Baekhyun exits the house, slamming the door angrily behind him.

‘NO! Taeyeon! That’s not me! Listen to me! ’ the real Baekhyun started to scream at Taeyeon.

She didn’t hear him, she just took a seat on the sofa and gazed into the abyss, still not believing what have just happened. He was right in front of her but she didn’t see it, even if he tried to wave his hands in her face.

‘I regret everything so much for the real me that accused you! Please, Taeyeon, look at me! Don’t hate me, I promise I will trust you for now on, I don’t want to lose you….T-Taey…’

A tear started to roll down on her cheek, then another, and another; Taeyeon hide her face in her palms and started to sob.

‘Don’t cry!! Oh, please, don’t cry in front of me…I don’t want you to cry because of me.’

He touched her shoulder to support her, but then he hears her talking all of a sudden.

‘You ruined our love….’

Baekhyun didn’t know if she was talking to him or not, but the hateful eyes that looked directly at him told him the answer.

‘I hate you so much! Don’t you even dare to show up in front of me!’ she says and pushes him away with all her force.

 That was when Baekhyun started to cry himself.

‘No, don’t let angriness make you say things you’ll regret. You don’t hate me! You CAN’T hate me! I love you…Please!’

He was so pathetic, the way he was begging her, crying. He didn’t know what to do anymore…

Something that seemed like an alarm ringing started to hear from a corner of the room. And it gradually got louder, until it woke Baekhyun up into reality.

                                                        *

Taeyeon was sitting in front of the big window throwing a melancholic look at the sky that was about to pour. For some reason, she was feeling uneasy. As the time was passing by, this feeling of uneasiness grew, as longing started to pierce through her heart deeper and deeper. She couldn’t understand herself at all. Since Baekhyun is not showing any sign of life for about a month and so, she should have moved on already. This is what she proposed herself after her last failed relationship: no more feelings involved, no more crying done nights in a row, no more internal conflicts because of stupid relationships. And she succeeded keeping that promise. But then Baekhyun had to come along and broke that rule like it is nothing.

She tried to hate him. Hate him for doubting her, for fighting her, for leaving her in the air like that…She really wanted to hate him. But as much as she tried, she couldn’t. There wasn’t any sign of hatred in her heart. Maybe a little disappointment, a little self-blame, but most of it was just genuine longing. Things shouldn’t have ended this way.

‘Unnie, come here!’ Ahyeon screams at her from the other side of the living room.

‘Waeee?’ Taeyeon said too lazy to get up from her confortable spot.

‘I’ve found some ring here! Is it yours?’

‘A ring???’

Taeyeon gets up with the speed of light and runs up to Ahyeon who was vacuuming the room.

‘This!’ the younger girl says and hands her the ring she have found.

‘Yes! YES! Thank you, God! I’ve found it!’

Taeyeon kissed the ring and quickly put it on her middle finger in fear it won’t disappear again.

 ‘What is so special about that ring?’ Ahyeon asks surprised by her sister’s explosive reaction.

‘Someone gifted it to me and I was so miserable thinking I must have lost it.’

‘And by ‘someone’ you mean ‘Baekhyun’, right?’

‘Aigoo, you’re so fast at making up stories, Ahyeon-ah!’

‘But I am right, aren’t I?’ she looks at her sister with her specific ‘know-it-all’ look.

‘Yeah, you are!’ Taeyeon said, her eyes suddenly losing their light and the other girl couldn’t help but notice it.

Taeyeon remembered the day she lost it. It was the same day she fought with Baekhyun. She cried out of furry, out of pain, she was such an angry mess that at some point, she pulled the ring off her finger and threw it on the floor carelessly. She says she doesn’t need it anymore. After she stopped crying and come to her senses she realized how stupid she was and tried to look for it, even moved the pieces of furniture around. She searched for hours and it was nowhere to be found, she thought is she going crazy. She sworn it was right there, but it wasn’t. It was hopeless. So then she started to cry again. It was already late in the night when she went to sleep. But she couldn’t sleep because she had many tears, so she stayed awake until there was no energy left in her body and fell asleep unconsciously.

‘It’s a really pretty one!’ she says looking at Taeyeon’s finger with admiration. ‘Why don’t you and Baekhyun…’

‘Let’s not talk about it, ok?!’

‘Ok, ok! My tongue itches to say something more, but I’ll leave with just that ‘Don’t let useless pride stay in the way of your happiness!’

Taeyeon liked Ahyeon’s use of words, but she didn’t say anything in return. The little girl knew that she left an impression too.

‘Ahyeon-ah, is already 3PM, you should do your luggage! Jiwoong is coming after you!’ Taeyeon says when she checks her wristwatch.

‘Already? No! I wanted to stay with you more, unnie! One week is not enough!’

‘I would have kept you here longer, but your school vacation is over…’

‘I know, but I don’t want to go to school!!’ She says with an agyeo voice and then pouts.

Our Ahyeon-yi is so cute, Taeyeon thought.

After the unofficial break-up with Baekhyun, Taeyeon felt really lonely and Tiffany and Sunny going on vacation to meet their families wasn’t helping her either. She would have gone home too, she likes being home more than anything, but she couldn’t because she had to make small appearances here and there to promote her latest single, ‘Rain’. That’s when she had the idea to bring Ahyeon to her house. Her sister had a short spring vacation and Hwang was in Japan with his parents, so she was bored as hell too. It wasn’t a long thought decision, they talked and complained about boredom, so they decided to gather together. It was completely random. Ahyeon was excited about it, especially when Taeyeon said between the lines that she can take her to SM studios. Taeyeon didn’t actually plan to take her there, but she couldn’t resist Ahyeon’s passionate pleads. So she dressed her nicely and took her there on a day she had to meet with her composer. She regretted bringing her there right away when she saw Ahyeon being so happy about everything and started to make up plans for when she is going to work there. She really doesn’t want her sister to waist her youth in this building like she did. But she can’t stay in the way of her dream either, so she’ll just let her be.

And on top of that, after Taeyeon left her alone to talk to the composer, Ahyeon didn’t have anything better to do than going to watch EXO practicing. Faceplam! Taeyeon grabbed her away from EXO’s room as soon as she found where she was, not having the time to look properly at what was happening inside. All she saw was Baekhyun. Baekhyun, alone in his spot, leaning his back on the big mirror of the room, all sweaty and heavy breathing. She always liked him like that, she thinks that sweat symbolizes the passion of the performer and there is nothing more attractive than a man passionate about his work. Taeyeon’s heart started to race faster at the sight, but she fought to not let it show. She didn’t want to think about him, so she focused all her energy on scolding Ahyeon for not following her words and went to places she is not allowed to and Ahyeon stubbornly repeated that she did nothing wrong there (even if Taeyeon was sure she did).

That was the only episode when they had a row, but overall, she felt like this short time she spend with her sister deepened their relationship even more. It felt like the old times, when they used to run barefood in the grass of their house’s backyard and prepare cheap lemonade. Ah, they were so young and cute. And look at them now! They have grown up, they both changed, but the sisterly love remained the same. Ahyeon was proud to have singer Kim Taeyeon as a sister, but Taeyeon was just as proud of having Ahyeon. She is so pretty, talented and especially such a genuine soul. There is no way she can’t be proud of her!

                                                       *

In these weeks Baekhyun was away from Taeyeon, he took a deeper look over his relationship with her. His 3 year passion, their half a year relationship, everything went to waist over a conversation that didn’t even last 15 minutes. At first, he had some kind of internal conflict. He knew that his doubt is justified, so he disliked Taeyeon’s shady attitude. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel he is the one at fault for not trusting her as she deserves. The first three days, he couldn’t even hear her name without having a break-down. He didn’t know what to feel about everything so he just refused to think about it and pretend everything is alright in his life. This is what he does everytime he has a problem. Ignore and ignore it, until it simply disappears. But obviously, it didn’t work this time because his feelings for Taeyeon aren’t something that can disappear this easy. If he couldn’t get over her when she was a simple friend, now, after having her, it will be even harder. Almost impossible. So, after one sleepless night, he decided that his love for Taeyeon is stronger than the pride to be the one that is right, and attempted to call her and apologize. But he ended up not doing it. Wouldn’t it be awkward? After this time they didn’t talk to each other, how can he apologize over the phone? He said that he’ll do it when he’ll first meet her face to face, this is the best way to do it. But that took time because EXO had some concerts in China and new dates keep on popping, he grew inpatient. He can’t keep track of how many nights he wanted to call her. He missed her voice so much. If he wanted to hear her voice he could stream her songs on Melon. But it wasn’t that kind of voice he missed. He wanted to hear her cute voice greeting him early in the morning and her sleepy voice saying ‘Good night!’ and sometimes adding ‘Love’ at the end. There were times when he wanted to take a secret flight to Seoul only that he can meet her, but it was too crazy of a thing to do and he refrained himself.

He was quite optimistic about getting her back when the time is due, but everything started to collapse when he saw her at SMTOWN Shanghai. She was wearing some black shorts and an oversized beige pullover and wearing that intense red lipstick he has always said he liked. She was gorgeous. But that wasn’t the point. The thing is, she was cold to him, so cold that it almost crushed down his hopes. He gravitated around her all the day long, but she ignored his presence all the show. There were times when he felt she stares at him from a distance, but as soon as their eyes are about to meet, she turns away coldly leaving him dying on the inside. When she was in one of the cabins together with Heechul, he come along invoking some stupid reason, only that he can get in touch with her. But as Heechul greeted him brotherly, Taeyeon left the room not even taking a proper look at him. And if that wasn’t enough to kill him, he noticed the ring missing from her finger. The ring he had gifted her on their anniversary, the ring she was wearing all the time, it was gone.

Finding himself in his room after the concert and realizing he missed his chance of taking Taeyeon back, he had the motivation to get drunk, so he could forget about the pain. The thoughts that she might hate him now started to build up in his head and attempt to coke him up. What if she really hated him? What if he will never take her back? What if he will lose her forever? He couldn’t image his life without Taeyeon…And it was all his fault. If only he wasn’t that jealous. And that insecure. If only he trusted her better. He could have been in her arms right now. He would have kissed her warm lips right now. He would have had her now...

*

It was the end of a long practice day, when Kim Young Min’s assistant come up to Baekhyun and asked him to go to Director’s office. He was wondering what could it be. Maybe there was something new about the drama he’s filming. But it can’t be it! If there was the case, the PD or the manager would have told him first. He didn’t have any idea what to expect, but he went to Director’s office without much worry. Yes, it wasn’t any day Kim Young Min calls you over, but it isn’t that much of a big deal either. He knew that he worked real hard and had good results in everything he did, so it can’t be something bad.

As he opened the door, first thing that comes to his sight is Kim Taeyeon. His heart skiped a beat. Was it real? Was Taeyeon really there? The initial happiness of seeing her vanished as plain confusion and nervousness took over him. There was Taeyeon and him in Kim Young Min’s office, this surely isn’t going to be something good.

Baekhyun captured Taeyeon’s eyes, but he couldn’t find any answer, she was just as confused and scared as he was.

‘If only I could take a photo of your faces, kids. You both look so funny like that!’ Kim Young Min said amused.

The both of them stopped looking at each other and concentrated on Kim Young Min who was sitting at his desk.

‘So, now that I have your attention! Let me tell you why you are here...Oh, well, I was having my usual day, when some Dispatch reporter come into my office without a preliminary invitation. I wanted to send him away immediately, that bastard, but then he started to relate me something very funny about you two so I let him talk.’

Both Taeyeon and Baekhyun’s faces turned pallid at his words. The worst thing they saw coming was just about to happen.

‘So, how can you explain these to me?’

Kim Young Min placed a bunch of photos on the desk.

‘Take a look!’

Taeyeon nervously took one of the pictures in her hand. It was a picture of her and Baekhyun entering the garden house at the Halloween party. Then Baekhyun took another one that was showing them holding hands while watching the fireworks. A photo of the peck Baekhyun gave her when they returned from their vacation, one of their random car dates, him going to buy bubble tea for her; every single moment of them was there. The two of them remained speechless, they didn’t even knew there is someone watching them.

‘ARE YOU CRAZY?! Do you know how stupid of you is to start dating now?’

Taeyeon and Baekhyun looked at him with no reaction. If they had hope for their love to return, then now they can be sure everything is over.

‘What if these photos would have being shown to the public, you know how much of a mess they could have caused?’

‘We know!’ Baekhyun lowered his head at his boss's harsh words.

‘But what happened, happened! There’s all in vain now!’ Taeyeon said.

Silence.

‘Wait! Are you implying that…you two aren’t dating anymore?’ Kim Young Min asked intrigued.

In that moment, Taeyeon look at in Baekhyun’s eyes that have gotten  sad over Kim Young Min’s words. He was in a desperate need of a hug and she felt the urge to run to him with open arms. She missed him so much, it’s incredible, just his proximity was making her heart not work properly. How can she say they are over, when there are so much feelings left in her heart.

‘I..I..I don’t really know myself!’ she said, continuing to look at Baekhyun.

Kim Young Min saw it all, the way Baekhyun’s eyes lost their light at her first words and Taeyeon staring into them helplessly, trying to see his heart. He might have looked like a bastard to them all the time, that doesn’t know what love is, but he understood what could have been going into their young hearts and he knew he has no right to control it.

‘You, two! Just, get out of here!’ Kim Young Min said with a low voice. ‘I’ll pay that journalist to shut up about everything! If you do something stupid next time, you'll be on your own!’

Taeyeon and Baekhyun looked at each other in pure surprise. That wasn’t the director they know!

‘Thank you!’ she said and smiled at him when leaving the room with Baekhyun not far behind her.

‘Wait, that was Kim Young Min being nice to us?’ Taeyeon turned to him still surprised.

‘I’ve always told you that he would have been a nice man if he didn’t have to deal with so much money and a hoard of hormonal teenagers.’

She left out a little chuckle at his words. “Yes!’ Baekhyun thought “I made her smile! That’s my chance!’

‘I..I think I’ll go to my cabin now. I have to look for something I had lost there…’ she said wanting to leave, but Baekhyun stopped her.

‘What about me helping you to find it?’ he smiled.

‘S..Sure!’ she said and started to walk down the hall with Baekhyun following her.

Taeyeon knew Baekhyun is planning to say her something and her heart started to race.

As soon as she opened the door, she didn’t have the time to turn on the light, that Baekhyun trapped her between the door and his body. She expected something stupidly brave like this from him to be honest. Not that she minds the touch of his body. At all.

‘This is NOT helping me to search for things!’ Taeyeon said sarcastically.

‘Well, I thought you already know I am NOT here to help you finding lost things...other than our love!’

Taeyeon wanted to chuckle at these words too, but she didn’t want to show that she’s enjoying the situation.

‘If that’s so, then you know I can call the police for assault, don’t you?’ she said on an apparently serious tone.

‘What assault, I am not even touching you! Yet!’

He then wrapped his arms around her hips and basically glued her body to hers.

‘Ah, you have gotten so pretty since I’ve last seen you!’ he said. ‘This short hair is making you glow!’

‘REALLY?’ she said in her usual sarcastic tone. ‘I thought you don’t like short hair!’

‘I do, if it’s you. I love everything about you!’ he started to stare at her in admiration and run his fingers through her hairs.

‘Stop being so Goddamn cheesy, Baekhyun! And stop looking at me with that cute puppy eyes, I am really trying to be mad at you here!’ she said raising her voice.

‘Why be mad at me, Taeyeon?’

‘Well, I don’t know…for you being a jerk and doubting me and then leaving me with no sign?’

‘I am terribly sorry for everything I have said to you that day, Taeyeon!’ he said with a dead serious look. ‘I was such a jealous, pathetic mess…I am sorry, I seriously don’t deserve you!’ Baekhyun finally said and looked down at his feet, feeling ashamed of his past actions.

‘Please, don’t say things like these!’ she grabs his chin and forces him to look into her eyes. ‘I should have told you everything, I shouldn’t give you reasons to be jealous, I shouldn't have told you to leave. I am at fault too. Please forgive me!’

Baekhyun was looking at her surprised at the passion Taeyeon was rolling that words out of . It wasn't everytime she would let her feelings out like this.

Taeyeon sighed heavily.

‘I don’t know why you are so unconfident about yourself, why you are always saying that you are not good enough for me. You are good enough for me! More than enough for me actually. And there is no man in this world that is even close to you in my heart. Please, Baek, please see my heart! How long will it take for you to understand I love you? Only you...’

Baekhyun was so moved at her words. He knew she loves him, he knew it, but in that very moment, it felt so sincere, it was overwhelming. In that very moment, it was the first time he felt like she is all his: body, mind and soul, he felt like he was the most blessed man in this entire universe for having such a person love him with everything she has.

He got his face closer to hers and she closed her eyes in the anticipation of the kiss. But he stopped and whispered.

‘I love you too, Taeyeon!’

And he kissed her.

They somehow ended up making out roughly in her bedroom. He carried her into his arms, bride style, and placed her on the bed softly. Positioning himself on top of her, he continued to kiss her there, as if there was no tomorrow, no sense of space or time and the idols Kim Taeyeon and Byun Baekhyun weren’t there either. It was just them, two young people that loved each other.

This night, when so many starts fall,

Your young body

Of a witch

Burns into my arms

Like in the flames of a stake.

Crazy,

Like fire tongues I extend my arms,

To melt down the snow of your shoulders

To sip, hungrily devour

Your strength, your blood, your pride, your spring

Everything.

(The ground and us, L. Blaga)

IT WAS ABOUT THE ING TIME for me to finish this stupid chapter.

I’ve been thinking about it for ages, but didn’t get the time to write it. And ing finally!