Baekhyun thought that he has never seen Taeyeon more beautiful than she was that night. She was wearing a pair of skinny black jeans and a see through red shirt with a low-cut black tank top under, emanating a y, but elegant aura. The smokey eye make-up gave a mature touch to her face, making her look more feminine than even her usual stage outfits, but at this overall classy and subtly seductive outfit, she was wearing a pair of Jack Skellington sneakers. He smiled at the corner of his mouth when he noticed it; even all dolled up like that, Taeyeon is still Taeyeon, the appearance of a gorgeous woman, but an innocent lost kid inside. He was slyly stealing glances at her from the table near hers, trying not to look too obvious in his admiration. She was talking calmly to Luna and Wendy whom she was sharing the table with; he couldn’t comprehend her words, but her voice sounded like slow music to his ears.

Honestly, even if he liked socializing, he didn’t like to be there. SM invited one representative from each group (that was usually the leader or a main vocal) to come and discuss about the upcoming SMTOWN Christmas release. And after 3 hours of boring as hell discussions that went basically nowhere (he doesn’t even get why they invite them over, SM will do whatever the they want anyway), they are hanging out at a bar near SM building, bar owned by Lee Soo Man himself. It all started with Yesung wanting to treat them for SM agreeing to give Super Junior their own label. Yesung was the only one he truly felt close with there because they have sang together for Japanese SMTOWNs, other than that, he didn’t know if he could start up a conversation with a sunbae as BoA and for some reason, he didn’t feel like talking to Jonghyun even if he looked like he would make a great discussion partner. So he was sitting at the table with Yesung and Changmin, ignoring Yesung’s passionate discourse about army life that he made up for their soon to enlist table mate. The whole thing was so boring to Baekhyun, he didn’t want to come near the discussions about army anytime soon as he felt like his time as a solider is so far away.  He would have used his mood maker powers and light up the dead atmosphere that was filling the already half dark bar, but he felt lifeless from the concert he had in Macau last night and the flight to Seoul.

It wasn’t his intention, but he couldn’t help but lose himself in thoughts about Kim Taeyeon. And her looking so beautiful right under his eyes didn’t help him at all. He asked himself, how come he got to grow these feelings for her?

The funny thing was that, despite of all the fiction made by the fans, he wasn’t her fanboy in high school. He wasn’t her fanboy when he joined SM either, even if he would lie if he said he didn’t think she was hot when he would occasionally see her on TV. There was nothing special about her. At least that was what he thought when he was a trainee and heard Taeyeon is in SM’s Training Department to meet up some vocal coach there. All the other boys around him would pull their fingers through their hairs to fix their look, but he didn’t get the hype. Until he saw her. He expected to see the shiny on stage Taeyeon in pretty outfits and strong aura. But instead of that, he just saw a short, bare faced girl, with big eyes, quite dehydrated lips and wearing an oversized bland T-shirt. He was kind of dumbfounded to be honest with himself, real Kim Taeyeon looked about as bland as the nerdy girls in his already graduated high school. But something about her was so…he couldn’t put the finger on it, but he found her incredibly charming. The other guys took their eyes away from her long before Baekhyun did, he watched her until she couldn’t be seen. He couldn’t say that he liked her from that first time, but he was definitely intrigued.

He and his vocal practice mates were having a break from the lessons when they’ve heard noise from the girls’ room and a random round of applause trying to keep a rhythm. The next thing Baekhyun knows, Taeyeon’s pretty voice fills his ears. Some dudes dare to open the door to girls’ room to see what’s happening and Baekhyun shyly joins them.

He didn’t expect his heart to skip a beat the way it did, when he saw Kim Taeyeon enjoying herself singing and applauding slowly to the lyrics of SNSD’s mega hit Genie, in the middle of a semicircle of young trainee girls that looked at her with envy and admiration. He took everything back, seeing her like that, there wasn’t anything bland about her. Her voice, her gestures, her calm charisma, she come out so beautifully.

‘Unnie, sing us ‘If’ too!’ a girl from the trainee group said.

‘All right!’ Taeyeon said, letting out a shy awkward laugh.

And she started to sing the beginning of her song. Baekhyun couldn’t recognize the song, frankly he couldn’t recall Kim Taeyeon having a solo song at all. But he liked it, even more than Genie, her voice had that kind of emotion he liked. With other words, he was inexplicable touched.

‘Ya! You, guys, come back to your practice room, what you’re doing here?’ Mrs. Song, the girls’ vocal couch yelled at the guys staying in the door frame after Taeyeon stopped singing. She was nice enough to let them stay for Taeyeon’s performance, otherwise she would have told them to leave a lot earlier.

All the guys backed up, except for Baekhyun who was too lost in the moment and staring at Taeyeon adoringly, like a lost puppy.

‘I am talking about you too!’ Mrs. Song yells and glares at Baekhyun and he quickly backs up bowing 90^°. He could see Taeyeon eyed him before he left the room and that made him wonder if she already made a bad impression about him.

Baekhyun didn’t understand why all these things come to his mind now, but he found the situation so funny. If only those people knew how indifferent he actually was to her pre-debut. And how much he got to adore her after that…He started to fall for artist Taeyeon just when he saw her in person, but at the same time, he fell for person Kim Taeyeon as well.

It was no long before Luna and Wendy left the bar, leaving Taeyeon all alone at the table. Right after that, Baekhyun watches Taeyeon buying herself a big bottle of liquor, thing that leaves him in awe. Taeyeon buying alcohol? This was so unlike her. That bottle of wine, it’s for Sunny, isn’t it? Next, she pours a full glass and drinks it from one shot, surprising him even more. One shot, two shots, three shots…W-what is happening?

‘Baekhyun, we’re leaving, do you want us to bring you home?’ Yesung and Changmin ask him.

Baekhyun wanted to accept it, but he was worried about Taeyeon who drank too much, so he turned them down.

‘It’s ok, guys, I’ll call my manager for it!’

After greeting goodbye to the two guys, Baekhyun sits down at Taeyeon’s table with a worried look. Her whole upper body was resting on the table, head on her palms. When she sees Baekhyun, she eyes him calmly, but her face turns a little red, from embarrassment, he believes. She looks in his eyes with a lost stare that Baekhyun couldn’t see through. He couldn’t believe the state Taeyeon was in, he never thought he would ever see her like that. Drunk, red eyes, looking miserable. She can look miserable from time to time, but she was never like that. After taking a break to look at him, she pours liquor in her glass again. Quickly, Baekhyun gets the bottle from her hands, leaving her dumbfounded.

‘Noona, stop, you’re a mess right now!’ he yells at her.

‘Shut up, Byun Baekhyun, you know nothing!’ she yells back, tears forming in her eyes all of a sudden.

Baekhyun didn’t know what to reply, but stated to clear the liquor that arrived on the table when he got the bottle away from her.

He didn’t utter a word, just concentrating hard on the wooden table he was cleaning, it was awkward and didn’t know how to handle her, but he wanted to help her.

‘You think I am a mess? I am a mess! I am ALWAYS a mess, Byun Baekhyun! ALWAYS! I am never good enough for them, I am never good enough for anyone.’ She says looking in the distance, purposely avoiding him.

‘It’s about your haters again?’ He asks looking at her. Her stare faces the ground as a response.

‘Taeyeon, I understand you, you know I understand you. They hurt you so much that they drive you crazy, that you want to run away from everything and hide yourself so nobody can’t see you suffering and struggling like that. ‘

Silence.

‘But, you should not let them make you feel like this, they are winning over you. Just think of the people that love.’ The one that loves you…

‘You know, those kids that say they love me…how many of them really mean it?’

‘A lot of them, I am sure…’

‘Liesss.’ She yells talking him by surprise. ‘ They don’t ‘love’ me, they love Nation’s Girl Group Leader and Main Vocalist Kim Taeyeon, they love me for my fame, they won’t give two cents about me and my singing when I will be old, ugly and not famous enough for them to brag about.’

‘Don’t think about things like that, you know most of them supported you through everything that happened last year…’

‘Yeah, I guess you’re right…’ she finally replies.

She wanted to grab the glass of liquor when Baekhyun was looking away but he saw her in time.

‘NO!’

‘Ok, I’ve done nothing wrong, nothing wrong!’ and flashed him a silly smile.

Studying her was amusing to Baekhyun. He was used to seeing drunk people, he had some crazy buddies in high school, but Taeyeon was so amusing…Firstly she started to sing 2NE1’s ‘Hate You’ with such a passion that you’d think she is going to break something, then changed 180 degrees and started to sing ‘The Reason Why I Am A Singer’. And after she finished, she started to cry dramatically, talking about her childhood.

‘You know, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a staaa…So when I joined SM Academy, I’ve though I would be the next BoA instantly.  But nope!, it wasn’t it. I was mediocre at best and that vocal couch Mrs. Lee was a witch and I hated her so bad. My blood is boiling just thinking about it. Ugh..But she taught me. She taught me everything I know, she was the best thing that happened to my life. But I still hated her, whenever I was crying because of a failed competition she would always tell me I have the voice and the face, but I am worthless. I hated her, but she was so ing right! Look at me, look at me now, wasn’t she right?’

Baekhyun was just looking at her and listening, so he didn’t respond.

‘She was right! I don’t have the mentality to be a celebrity. I should have known better, should have listened to her and to my dad who was always so against it! I stubbornly debuted in a girl band just to sing silly songs about oppa and play around with a lollipop. But that is not the worst…Who the had the idea to put me the leader? I am too immature and sensitive for that, all this time I was so air-headed, ignorant…I couldn’t even keep my group together till disbandment as I promised myself to when I debuted.  People were right, Sooyoung or Tiffany should have been the leader, or I don’t know, anyone whose name isn’t Kim Taeyeon. Hell, I shouldn’t have been here in the first place. I should have been a boring math teacher, not a celebrity. Celebrity life changed me so much. This is not me anymore! This is not me! Baekhyun, I used to be like you. A free soul, happy, it’s true I wasn’t as social as you, but I was such a bright girl! See now! Now I am almost always miserable, sad, drinking, I don’t know what the I am doing with my life anymore!’.

Silence.

 ‘‘And you complain? You, Kim Taeyeon?’ they say ‘When you earn more money in a week than I do in a year?’ They say… and then they go around calling me an attention .’

‘Why am I so unhappy? There is no reason to…’

And she started to cry again. This time was so heartbreaking that Baekhyun couldn’t help but caress her cheek. Taeyeon didn’t object at all, just closed her eye to feel his touch.

Suddenly, she becomes dead silent and her whole upper body falls on the table, like she is going to sleep. In just a matter seconds, she looked like powerless. It seems like her passionate discourse took away all her energy.

Baekhyun was moved by Taeyeon’s words. He thought he knew everything that is to know about her, but tonight, he discovered so much…He was so glad that he could hear everything, he felt closer to her, to her heart…  

He decided to take Taeyeon home now, it was obvious she wouldn’t make it on her own in this state.

But how?

He should call SM Building to get her manager’s number. But there was anybody at SM building to pick up the phone.

He dialed Tiffany’s number.

‘The user you’ve called it is out of country, please try again later!’

Oh, well! What can he do now? It was one of the times he hated himself for not managing his time properly so he can have time to get a driving license. He had the money for a car and he thinks he is skilled enough to drive, he is a fast learner after all, but he was too lazy to do anything.

Hmm…her phone is locked, ! What to do know?

‘Heechul!’

He calls Heechul.

‘Hey, hyung! I have a problem!’

‘What is it?’

‘Well…it’s about Taeyeon noona. She got very drunk at Lee Soo Man’s bar and I want to take her home, but I don’t have her manager’s number, neither her house keys. Frankly, I don’t even know well where her dorm is. Fany noona is not in the country either. What am I supposed to do?’

‘Aigoo, that brat, was she reading Instagram comments again?’

‘Yeah, it seems like it!’

‘Bro, look, I would have said to take her here at my place. But not tonight, I just can’t.’

‘Hmmm, why?’

‘My girlfriend is here and it would be out of place to bring another woman, even if she is aware we are just friends.’

‘WAIT WHAT! You have a girlfriend?’

‘I’mma tell you later about it..’

‘Ok, ok…but when what can I do?’

‘What about taking her to your place?’

‘Are you crazy, hyung, what if sasaengs see us?’

‘You two are supposedly in a relationship, you know?’

‘We supposedly broke-up, you know?’

‘Yeah, right! Just take her to your place, sasaengs won’t utter an word about it, trust me. And if you don’t want to deal with your manager’s questions, look for Tony, the blonde male waiter to take you to your dorm with his car. He is in charge of like this when a SM artist gets drunk there, it happens quite often actually. But don’t forget to pay him extra to shut up, he has a big mouth. Got it?’

‘G..got it, I guess..’

‘Sure! Good night, take care of my stupid dongsaeng…She trusts you more than you might think!’

‘Good night, hyung!’

He hangs up and looks at the sleeping Taeyeon.

‘I guess, we will sleep together tonight!’ he laughed awkwardly. Did this sound inappropriate?

He called out for this Tony guy. Baekhyun didn’t even get to explain what he wants properly that the guy immediately knew what is going on. Heechul was right, Tony knew exactly why he was called for and he really looked like a sly and intelligent person, but Baekhyun didn’t mind him, all he wanted is to get Taeyeon to a safe place, in his dorm. When he told the waiter to get him and Taeyeon a ride to the EXO’s dorm, the guy reacted with a subtle smirk. Baekhyun noticed it and thought he knew what is crossing the guy’s mind.

‘Taeyeon, let’s go!’ Baekhyun said trying to wake her up.

Baekhyun helped her to get in Tony’s car. She didn’t utter a word all the way, just keeping a blank expression. He wondered if she is willingly coming with him because she trusted him or she would have been like that with every guy. Thinking that any guy could have taken advantage of her make him feel goosebumps, it was good that he was there with her.

‘Now take this cash’ and hands him some money ‘and make sure nobody finds out about this. We don’t want funny rumors circulating about it tomorrow. Got it?’

‘Of course, boss! Have fun tonight!’

Baekhyun rolled his eyes at his reply, but didn’t say anything, just headed Taeyeon into the dorm as quick as he could because, even if it was late, sasaengs could can pop out of nowhere. When he entered the house, he looked through the window to make sure nobody saw them and if Tony didn’t take photos or something (he was afraid, if someone gives a proof of her getting into EXO’s dorm she would get shamed for life). There was nothing suspect, so he turned back to a confused, dizzy Taeyeon that sit on the cold floor. He found her so cute, looking like lost helpless child. Seeing she isn’t going to follow him, he takes her in his arms, bride style and carries her to his bedroom. Taeyeon looked surprised by the sudden movement, but she didn’t protest, thing that Baekhyun was surprised, but relived for. Fortunately, he didn’t pass by any member. A lot of them weren’t even there to be honest.

He gently placed her back on his bed and take off her sneakers so she can move freely. He was in bed near her, looking at her adoringly. Oh, ! Even if she was a mess, she was so damn beautiful. She looked so tiny and delicate, the red outfit contrasted nicely with the white sheets, her skin looked smooth and milky, especially the very slightly exposed cleavage, but what intrigued him the most, was definitely her lips. Her red lips…he couldn’t stop staring at her lips.  He had that urge to kiss them.

All of a sudden, the sleepy looking Taeyeon pulls Baekhyun by the neck and gets his ear to .

‘You’re enjoying this too much!’ she whispered sensually. He could feel her warm breath on his neck.

He backed up a little in surprise.

‘So, you are aware after all…You looked half dead all the way here.’

‘Well, I was aware until we got in the car and then I kind of lost it…’

Is funny how their faces were just inches apart, but neither of them seemed to back up. Taeyeon was right, he was enjoying this too much, sharing the the same bed as his long time crush, so close, feeling her body’s heat…it was making him crazy.

‘Oh, Byun Baek, you’re so obvious!’

He looked at her with a confused face.

 ‘You must be thinking I am stupid just because I am drunk. You’re giving me that kind of stare…looks like the kind of stare that was giving me today!’

‘Who are you even talking about?’

‘That CEO son my mom is insisting to hook me up with. He pretends to be so nice to me, yeah, he’s nice, but I have this feeling he views me as an easy woman just because I am an idol…’

‘Aish! I hate hypocrites like this!’

‘He comes at me slowly and caresses my hair like that!’ and she pull his fingers though Baekhyun’s hair.

‘…and the other hand travels down on my back’ and puts her other hand on his back ‘looking like an innocent gesture..but then it arrives on my ..’ and Taeyeon slaps Baekhyun’s .

‘Whoa…You’ve done this purposely…’

‘I was just exemplifying, not gonna say I am not enjoying tho!’

‘You ert!’

‘You get a woman in your bed and give her those stares, but I am the ert one. Huh?’

‘Huh..I guess you’re right!’ And after a break ‘So…what else he does to you?’

Taeyeon started laughing. Her ajumma laugh was everything.

‘I was right, you’re enjoying this too much.’

“Ok, so…he backs away with a satisfied smile and starts to talk about his father’s business, showing off his new Lamborghini as well. He’s about as interesting as a brink.’

‘Oh…’

‘Today, he went on a date. Why did you think I was all dolled up like that? He was driving me home from our date, in his new car, of course, and suddenly put his hand on my tight and starts to rub it up and down. Until he reached my sensitive spot and I immediately slapped his hand away. He started to laugh nervously and then his upper lip. I didn’t say anything, just glare at him. When I got off the car, he yelled at me to hear ‘Yeah, don’t be mad at me, ok? I will pick you up tomorrow as well’, but I acted like I didn’t hear anything. I am in big , again…’

‘It’s ok, Taeyeon! Don’t think about him anymore!’ he started to caress her hair, just like Taeyeon was exemplifying.

‘What next? Put you hand on my ?’

‘You know I won’t do that if you don’t like it.’

‘I’ve just slapped yours earlier, I don’t mind if it’s you…’

‘What?’

‘What? What’s wrong with that? I’ve always liked it when you touch me…’

Baekhyun looked at her puzzled; his hands stopped brushing through her hair, like they just froze. We had some kind of confession here or he is delusional as usual? Well, it can’t be. Did he just say she liked the way he touches her?

‘Kim Taeyeon, don’t say things like this to me, ok? It’s driving me crazy!’

‘Well…You know me, I don’t say things if I don’t mean them. I like the way you…’

‘You make me lose my control and I am sure you won’t like that. I am out.’ He cuts her off.

He gets off the bed quickly, trying not to look at her. He didn’t know if she was doing it purposely or not, but her stare was seducing him so hard.

 ‘I am going to touch you, Taeyeon-shi, as much as you want’ he says when he open the exit door, looking at her’…but not now when you’re drunk and not knowing what you say. ‘

‘Hey, where are you going?’

He left the room like he was being mad. But not for so long, he came back in his room when Taeyeon was sleeping and made a sleep spot on the floor cause the living room was colder than his bedroom and didn’t want to catch a cold before their Christmas comeback.

How did it even happen? Freaking Kim Taeyeon was sleeping in his bed and there he is, resting on the floors, even after she started about liking to be touched by him. Aish, he’s such a loser! But he knew he  should resist the temptation. He respects her way too much to just ‘sleep’ with her when she is drunk.

It was middle of the night when Baekhyun was woken up by Taeyeon’s sudden sobs. It seems like she started to cry in her sleep and mumble incomprehensible words, slipping from side to side chaotically. He sat on the edge of the bed and look upon her concerned. He was a little surprised when she told him, almost inaudible ‘Stay with me!’ and tried to drag him in the bed by his arm.  ‘Ok!’, he finally replied and got in the bed with her again.

She rapidly buries her head in his chest and continues to cry there, this time more peacefully. He caresses her back gently. His heart was beating fast. He didn’t feel any lust, like he did when she started to talk about touches, he just felt happy, happy to be by her side in the very moment. Happy that he was that one man here to support her. Not any rich arrogant CEO son, but him. Then, she fell asleep, still in his tight embrace.

Baekhyun wanted the moment to last forever. Hugging tenderly this girl he loves, comforting her, feeling her warmth around his body. But unfortunately, tomorrow will come and together with it, the cold truth. That she would never look at a boy like him.