TIFFANY AND MINHO go in the water with snorkels and fins. They kick around looking for lobsters. Probably there are only jellyfish and tiny crabs, but even with those slim pickings we have snorkeled at the tiny beach, always.

          Taeyeon sits with me on a batik blanket. We watch the others in silence.

          I don't know how to talk to her.

          I love her.

          She's been an .

          I shouldn't love her. I'm stupid for still loving her. I have to forget about it.

          Maybe she still thinks I'm pretty. Even with my hair and the hollows beneath my eyes. Maybe.

          The bones on her shoulders move beneath her T-shirt. The curve of her neck, the soft arch of her ear. A little brown mole on the side of her neck; so little, you have to be so close to spot it. The moons of her fingernails. I drink her up after so long apart.

          "Don't look at my troll feet," says Taeyeon suddenly.

          "What?"

          "They're hideous. A troll snuck into my room at night, took my normal feet for himself, and left me with his thuggish troll feet." Taeyeon tucks her feet under a towel so I can't see them. "Now you know the truth."

          I am relieved we are talking about nothing important. "Wear shoes."

          "I'm not wearing shoes on the beach." She wiggles her feet out from beneath the towel. They look fine. Pretty, even. "I have to act like everything's okay until I can find that troll. Then I'll kill him to death and get my normal feet back. Have you got weapons?"

          "No."

          "Come on."

          "Um. There's a fire poker in Windemere."

          "All right. As soon as we see that troll, we kill him to death with your fire poker."

          "If you insist."

          I lie back on the blanket and put my arm over my eyes. We are silent for a moment.

          "Trolls are nocturnal," I add.

          "Sica?" Taeyeon whispers.

          Sica.

          I turn my face to look her in the eyes. "Yeah?"

          "I thought I might never see you again."

          "What?" She is so close we could kiss.

          "I thought I might never see you again. After everything that happened, then when you weren't here last summer."

          Why didn't you write me? I want to say. Why didn't you call, all this time?

          She touches my face.

          So soft. So gentle.

          Like I was so fragile. "I'm so glad you're here," she says. "I'm so glad I got the chance."

          I don't know what it is between us. I really don't. She is such an .

          "Give me your hand," she says.

          I am not sure I want to.

          But then of course I do want to.

          Her skin is warm and sandy. We intertwine our fingers and close our eyes against the sun.

          We just lie there. Simply lie there. Holding hands. She rubs my palm with her thumb like she did two summers ago beneath the stars.

          And I melt.

          Alive.