EVERYONE HEADS TO New Clairmont, leaving me and Mummy alone at Windemere to unpack. I ditch my bag and look for the Liars.

          Suddenly they are on me like puppies. Tiffany grabs me and spins me. Minho grabs her, Taeyeon grabs Minho, we are all grabbing each other and jumping. Then we are apart again, going into Cuddledown.

          Tiffany chatters about how glad she is that Bess and the littles will live with Grandad this summer. He needs somebody with him now. Plus Bess and her obsessive cleaning is impossible to be around. Plus again and even more important, we Liars will have Cuddledown all to ourselves. Taeyeon says she's going to make hot tea and hot tea is her new vice. Minho calls her a prententious assface. We follow her into the kitchen and she puts water on to boil.

          It is a whirlwind, all of them talking over each other, arguing happily, exactly like old times. Taeyeon hasn't quite looked at me, though.

          But I can't stop looking at her.

          She is so beautiful. So Taeyeon. I know the arc of her lower lip, the strength in her shoulders. The way she half tucks her shirt into her jeans at the front, the way her boots are worn down at the heel, the way she touches the light scar on her eyebrow without realizing she's doing it.

          I am so angry. And so happy to see her.

          Probably she has moved on, like any well-adjusted person would. Taeyeon hasn't spent the last two years in a shell of headache, pain and self-pity. She's been going around with New York City guys in black, emo clothes, being taken to Chinese food and out to see bands. If she's not with Jace, she's probably got a guy or a couple of them.

          "Your hair's new," says Minho to me.

          "Yeah. Tiff too."

          "You look pretty, though," says Tiffany sweetly.

          "You, too."

          "She's so tall," says Taeyeon, busying herself with boxes of tea, jasmine and English Breakfast and so on. "You didn't used to be that tall, did you, Jessica?"

          "It's called growing," I say. "Don't hold me responsible." Two summers ago, Taeyeon was several inches taller than I was. Now, we're about even.

          "I'm all for growing," says Taeyeon, her eyes still not on me. "Just don't get any taller than me."

          Is she flirting?

          She is.

          "Minho always lets me be tallest," she goes on. "Never makes an issue of it."

          "Like I have a God damn choice," groans Minho.

          "She's still our Jessica," says Tiffany loyally. "We probably look different to her, too."

          But they don't. They look the same. Taeyeon in an emerald green T-shirt with holes here and there from two summers ago. Her ready smile, her way of leaning forward. Her dramatic nose.

          Minho broad-shouldered, in jeans and a pink plaid button-down so old its edges are frayed; nails bitten, hair cropped.

          Tiffany, like a pre-Raphaelite painting, that chin, those eyesmiles. Her long, thick, now black hair is piled up on top of her head and she's wearing a bikini top and shorts. 

          It is reassuring. I love them so.

          Will it matter to them, the way I can't hold on to even basic facts surrounding my accident? I've lost so much of what we did together in summer fifteen. I wonder if the aunts have been talking about me.

          I don't want them to look at me like I'm sick. Or like my mind isn't working.

          "Tell about college," says Minho. He is sitting on the kitchen counter. "Where are you going?"

          "Nowhere, yet." This truth I can't avoid. I am surprised they don't know it already.

         "What?"

          "Why?"

          "I didn't graduate. I missed too much school after the accident."

          "Oh, barf!" yells Minho. "That is horrible. You can't do summer school?"

          "Not and come here. Besides, I'll do better if I apply with all my coursework done."

          "What are you going to study?" asks Taeyeon.

          "Let's talk about something else."

          "But we want to know," says Tiffany. "We all do."

          "Seriously," I say. "Something else. How's your love life, Minho?"

          "Barf again."

          I raise my eyebrows.

          "When you're as handsome as I am, the course never runs smooth," he quips.

          "I have a boyfriend named Nick," says Tiffany. "He's going to Pomona like I am. We have had ual quite a number of times, but always with protection. He brings me pink roses every week and has nice muscles."

          Minho spits out his tea. Taeyeon and I laugh.

          "Nick? Loggerhead?" Minho asks.

          "Yes," says Tiffany. "What's so funny?"

          "Nothing." Minho shakes his head.

          "We've been going out for five months," says Tiffany. "He's spending the summer doing Outward Bound, so he'll have even more muscles when I see him next!"

          "You've got to be kidding," Taeyeon says.

          "Just a little," says Tiffany. "But I love him."

          I squeeze her hand. I am happy she has someone to be in love with. "I'm going to ask you about the ual later," I warn her.

          "When Minho and Taeyeon's somewhere else," she says. "I'll tell you all." It's not that we're not comfortable with Taeyeon around when talking about it, but she's just not comfortable with this. She avoids these conversations.

          We leave our teacups and walk down to the tiny beach. Take our shoes off and wiggle our toes in the sand. There are tiny, sharp shells.

          "I'm not going to supper at New Clairmont," says Tiffany decisively. "And no breakfast either. Not this year."

          "Why not?" I ask.

          "I can't take it," she says. "The aunts. The littles. Grandad. He's lost his mind, you know."

          I nod.

          "It's too much togetherness. I just want to be happy with you guys, down here," says Tiffany. "I'm not hanging around in that cold new house. Those people are fine without me."

          "Same," says Minho.

          "Same," says Taeyeon.

          I realize they discussed this idea before I arrived.