The night is quiet and humid, from the cafeteria window I can see it has been raining while we were keeping Seulgi company, in contrast, inside the hospital is warm and somewhat comfortable in comparison.

 

I sigh.

 

Spending rainy days at the hospital leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

 

To think me and Seulgi should be out somewhere at this second if none of this had happened.

 

Things are a bit calmer now, Seulgi is in surgery and although I’m still worried since she is getting cut open and all, there’s a small, tiny sense of relief knowing the waiting is over.

 

Now all we have to do is wait and hope everything goes as smoothly as everyone keeps promising us it is going to go.

 

In the meantime, Wendy and I stare at our dinner with tired eyes, there’s something physically exhausting about the waiting that I don’t quite understand but it makes my body feel as if we have been running around all day. To the girl in front of me, this feeling is more justified, unlike me she had a game early in the morning and no chance to properly recover from it.

 

And it shows.

 

Wendy yawns once again while poking her food with a fork.

 

“You can leave, you know? After she gets out of surgery she’ll be all good to go home, she won’t hold it against you” I try to reason with the girl staring at her tired eyes.

 

“I’m ok,” Wendy stretches her body grunting in the process “waiting around is boring, that’s all.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Would you leave?” Wendy grins behind her cup of coffee.

 

“Got it” I stare down at my half eaten sandwich. “The food here isn’t great, huh?” I sigh pushing the tray away.

 

“Not at all” Wendy chuckles mirroring my actions. “The coffee is good though.”

 

“I don’t like coffee” I scrunch up my nose feeling the taste of the bitter liquid just by looking at the girl’s white paper cup.

 

“I’ve heard” Wendy sips her beverage humming delighted. “Seulgi, the coffee lover, complained about it.” 

 

“Oh really?” I look at the girl gulp down the bitter liquid “What did she say?”

 

“Sometimes before practice or even after practice we like to have some, you know, to boost our energy and not die so early” she explains. “And sometimes your girlfriend likes to whine, as you know she loves to do, about how if she drinks coffee she’s not allowed to kiss you” the girl sips her hot drink smiling amusedly against it. “You run a tight ship, miss Bae.”

 

“Does she really?” I blink a couple of times absorbing the story before letting a laughing fit escape my throat, I can clearly form the image of a pouting Seulgi watching her friend enjoy her drink in my brain. “I don’t run any kind of ship, I can’t...I can’t stand coffee breath, it's not my fault” I say regarding her comment not being able to defend myself.

 

My mind once again goes to my poor girlfriend unconscious somewhere in the hospital getting treated.

 

It’s true I had forbidden the girl from kissing me after having one of those bitter drinks, but to be fair, she never complained with me about it, and I offer to make her some when she’s too tired which now that I think about it, she hasn't accepted anymore.

 

I take a sip of my water not having anything else to say.

 

“Right,” Wendy hums with sarcasm staring at my face with a smirk “you’re telling me Seulgi isn’t wiped and expect me to accept it?”

 

“I don’t make her do anything, she does things because she wants to, unlike some other people” I argue sipping my water victoriously “and haircuts.” 

 

Wendy’s hands instinctively touch her slightly grown bangs, her eyes widen not taking her sight off me, then the girl takes a hold of her cup complaining with a loud whine that scares some nurses eating on the table next to us.

 

“Sorry” I apologize to the women holding my laughter.

 

“Joy told you?” she complains still whining and with a blush spreading across her soft cheeks. “Of course she did, you two are best friends” she sighs sipping at her hot drink obviously embarrassed “I was growing my hair anyways” she tries to defend herself with a pout but it only makes me giggle.

 

“Didn’t you recently got that haircut though?” I argue raising my brows.

 

Messing with Wendy is so much easier than it is with Seulgi, my girlfriend is too good at making comebacks and honestly lacks any kind of shame, so she rarely gets embarrassed unless my mother is involved in the teasing.

 

The short conversation we had before she was taken away comes to my mind.

 

Seulgi’s distant look when she was staring at her reflection, the way her lips slightly and almost unnoticeable quivered against mine, how sad she looked when Byul came to pick her up.

 

Would be a lie to say I understand what she feels and is thinking about, the way the sport rules and affects her life is a very foreign concept, I don’t understand why not being able to play is what's causing her more distress while she's ok and very calm about the concept of getting a surgery.

 

Before leaving she even said so, she said if it was a short recovery she wouldn’t even care about the damn surgery.

 

I wonder how it feels to care about something this much.

 

“Hey, Irene” Wendy mutters leaning forward thankfully not noticing my change in attitude, I take notice of how she nervously plays with her thumbs, I lift my brows to the girl urging her to continue. “We have talked before, just you and me, about Seulgi right?” I nod but still not following her “And I haven’t ever said anything we talk about to Seulgi, you know?” 

 

“I appreciate that” I smile kindly at the nervous girl.

 

“I consider us friends, and I’m more than happy to help you with anything, Seulgi related or not” she continues while staring at her hands. 

 

“Where are we going with this?” I carefully say curious about the girl’s attitude.

 

“There’s something I want to talk about but I want to make sure it stays between us, you can’t say anything to Joy about it, ok? You can say no I won’t be mad, just…” she sighs and looks up at me more determined. “If you say yes it’s because you’re keeping it a secret” I lift my brows up.

 

“Wait, hold on, what kind of thing are we talking about? There’s some things I can’t keep as a secret from Joy” I say leaning back on my chair.

 

“Like what?”

 

“I don’t know, bad things I guess, what if you tell me you murdered someone? I can’t keep that a secret, it’s a stupid example but you get my point” I see the girl slightly smile despite herself.

 

“Nothing bad… just… pressing doubts” I nod.

 

“Joy is my best friend” Wendy sighs defeated “but you’re also my friend, you can tell me anything, I won’t tell.”

 

“Unless it’s a crime” she jokes looking down.

 

“Yes, unless it’s a crime” I also lean forward to get closer to the girl resting my elbows on the table. “What is it?”

 

“Ok so” the girl sighs while a blush rapidly spreads through her milky face “um, could you tell me what kind of girl Joy has dated before?” 

 

With all the anticipation I was sure the question would be something completely different, I want to laugh to break the silence but the girl looks so determined to get an answer that I have to stop myself from doing so, instead, I clear my throat staring at her expectant eyes.

 

“I could” I calmly say analyzing the girl “but first you have to tell me why you want to know” my curiosity wins me over as the girl leans back on her chair thinking of how to answer me.

 

“Have…” she trails off, then the leans forward on the table making me flinch back thinking our foreheads are going to bump against each other “have you seen Joy?” Wendy squints as her passionate voice fills my ears “I want to know what kind of girls she dated before to…” she stops to draw circles in the air with a hand “you know.”

 

“Compare?” I squint back with skepticism.

 

“No, no” she shakes her head scoffing “ok… yeah… maybe a little?”

 

I sip my water for a dramatic pause scanning her, I am surprised, didn’t think Wendy would be the type to doubt herself, she always acts so confident and easy going.

 

“She has had the total amount of…” I left a finger up in the air which she follows with her eyes like a puppy does with a treat “one.”

 

“One?” she blinks incredulous.

 

“Why you sound so surprised” I chuckle not understanding the girl.

 

“Again,” she whispers “have you seen her? In all her height and beauty” I pout finding the girl so endearing at this moment, it’s easy and obvious to see her feelings for my best friend are very real.

 

Too bad I can’t share it with Joy, she would so squeal in excitement and tackle the girl into a hug, just like she does to my pillows when she talks about her pocket-sized girlfriend.

 

Makes me wonder what she talks with Seulgi.

 

I’ll make sure to ask the girl later about it.

 

“Tell me about this ex” Wendy proceeds with her brows knitted together. “Was it serious? How long ago was it? Were they… you know… in lo-” her expression turns into a contrived gesture; I press my lips together not wanting to smile and make the girl think I’m not taking her seriously.

 

Joy is right, Wendy is very adorable, there’s some kind of purity about the way she’s talking about my best friend, especially if I compare it to Seulgi who’s so...intense.

 

Not that I’m complaining, I like my girlfriend intense.

 

“Wendy, to be honest these are things you should be asking her, not me” I explain making the girl pout. “But I can tell you this,” I swear her ears perked up as soon as she heard my words “it wasn’t good, you two on the other hand? Sickly cute” I take my cup and sip it observing Wendy.

 

“What do you mean it wasn't good?” as expected.

 

“You have to ask her, you should actually” I advise remembering the conversation during the game with Joy about intimacy and her nervous attitude, they could use some opening up instead of only making out in whatever place they can hide. “Then you’ll see there’s no comparison” the girl nods smiling hopefully meaning she’s taking my advice.

 

Wendy ends up finishing her beverage going back to be immersed in her phone, most likely talking to her tall beauty as she just called her.

 

I truly enjoy witnessing their interactions, I don't understand why Seulgi is so annoyed by it, it's so precious.

 

After some time, I start finding the view outside interesting again wondering how much more time we are going to have to wait so I can see Seulgi again.

 

“I-” Wendy tails off looking at the table, her ears turning red caught my curiosity.

 

“What?”

 

“I- nothing,” she clears "forget it."

 

"What is it?" I furrow my brows.

 

The girl tentatively looks up while her hands are busy tearing up the finished paper cup.

 

"It's stupid, it's not worth embarrassing myself" she says laughing nervously.

 

"Come on, you can tell me, I won't tell Joy... or Seulgi" I smile at her reassuringly. "We're friends too" I remind her.

 

"There's something else I wanted to ask you about," she admits scratching the back of her head "it's about this morning, when we were joking around about your mom." 

 

"My hot mom?" I lift my brows.

 

"Yes, that" the girl chuckles shaking her head. “It’s about something Joy said, she was probably joking but I’m curious” she hesitates shifting he body on her seat. “Gosh this is so stupid” the girl’s exasperated sigh turns into a nervous laughter looking at me feeling silly.

 

“Wendy, what is it?”

 

The girl looks at the women at the table next to us, they keep glancing at us from time to time after she had her little outburst, confirming they are back to giving the food their attention the girl looks at me with dead serious eyes.

 

I brace myself for whatever it’s troubling the younger girl taking a gulp of water.

 

“Do you think… Joy finds Seulgi more attractive than me?” she says in a raspy whisper.

 

I choke on the water I just took coughing over and over again while the girl in front of me rolls her eyes scoffing embarrassed.

 

Totally not what I was expecting, again.

 

Wendy doesn’t find it as a musing as me, though, she immediately crosses her arms pouting cutely.

 

“Forget it,” the girl with the rosy cheeks whines checking herself out of the conversation really fast "it’s dumb.”

 

“N-no” I try to say between coughs, my eyes get teared eyed fast obligating me to remove my specs and putting them on the table while I try to control the laughter trying to escape my body really, really, bad.

 

Even with my bad vision I can see Wendy turning her body away to focus on the food most likely feeling very embarrassed by my reaction.

 

I clear my throat regaining my composure.

 

“I’m sorry, Wendy” I reach for the girl’s arm still resting on the table and pull her back to her previous position. “It’s not dumb, you just caught me by surprise, I was seriously expecting something else.”

 

“Like what?” Wendy asks curious despite still being obviously upset.

 

“I don’t know, anything but that” I smile putting my specs back on. “Why is that even on your head anyways? She was teasing you, are you jealous about it? Because if you are then you’re really good at hiding things and I don’t know if I like that” I eye Wendy squinting my eyes.

 

“No, no” the girl relaxes. “Not at all, please, I’m only curious. I know when we all first met she was more into paying attention to Seulgi than, well, me.”

 

“Because we didn’t know you then” I add and the girl quickly nods in agreement.

 

“I know, I know, I’m not saying otherwise but, even when we had to wait for you two to make out somewhere” my ears turn red seeing the girl saying it rolling her eyes, “she commented how lucky you were to date Seulgi” Wendy scratches the back of her head laughing nervously. “So I was wondering if there was more to it than just teasing me.”

 

I ponder for a moment about the girl and her question.

 

“What exactly do you want to know? If Joy really liked Seulgi before you?” Wendy shrugs trying to appear disinterested but unfortunately that ship sailed long ago, it clearly bugs her somehow. “What does it mean?” Wendy furrows her brows not understanding my question “let’s say it’s a yes, what does it mean to you?”

 

“So it’s a yes?” she sighs.

 

“No, no, I’m just curious.” 

 

“Well… remember, this is between us” the girl returns to playing with her thumbs looking at me hesitantly. “It could mean... she might have... you know,” the girl gulps pushing her chair slightly away from the table “settled for me?” she hesitantly says before physically embracing herself for any kind of outburst. 

 

Wendy opens an eye noticing nothing happened to her and encounters an understanding friend amused at her antics. I can understand why she thought I might explode and begin to scold her, but honestly, I understand where she’s coming from.

 

Sometimes it must be hard to be Seulgi’s, the most talked about girl at school, best friend.

 

“Some time ago I was really upset at the attention Seulgi get from her so called fans” I roll my eyes sighing exasperatedly just remembering those girls occasionally orbiting around my girlfriend. “Obviously she doesn’t pay any particular attention to it and tells me she only has eyes for me” I smile proudly.

 

“I don’t think Seulgi would start dating Joy, that’s not what I meant.”

 

“I haven’t finished my story” I scold the girl making her grin apologetically. “So, that day I went home and told my mom about it because I was upset, and in my defense, I was on my period” Wendy chuckles at the fact. “Then she explained to me everyone likes Seulgi because of the image she has, not because they really like her, it’s like she’s a nice picture they look at and dream about, a fantasy, but the feelings aren’t really serious. Most don’t even think talking to her is a possibility, she’s not even a person in their heads to try it. This enlightenment helped me a lot.”

 

“Alright,” Wendy says digesting my words “how does it relate to my dilemma?”

 

“Well, Joy was one of those people, she thought Seulgi was attractive, because she is mind you, don’t even try to deny it” I point a finger at Wendy who relaxes on her seat laughing at my words. “But she didn't really like her like that, like I do, or how she likes you. Joy thought she was a fantasy I was getting to live.”

 

“Ok, I guess that makes sense?” she sighs accepting my explanation or maybe just trying to be nice to my efforts still not looking very convinced.

 

“If she had liked her like the way you think, do you believe she would have pushed me so hard to be with the girl? Please, she made me wear makeup every day before I had to talk to Seulgi” I roll my eyes at the memory. “Felt like I was being pimped out” Wendy laughs harder.

 

“Is that so? To this day Seulgi really thinks you did it for her, you know?” I scoff a laugh “Let’s keep it that way for now.”

 

“You understand what I’m saying, right?” I say looking at the girl searching for any doubts in her eyes. “I’m pretty sure if Joy liked Seulgi like that she would have found a way” I joke making the girl in front of me break a smile.

 

“That’s true, she would’ve, easily” she agrees grinning. “Seulgi wishes” she adds and I roll my eyes. “Hey not what I mea-”

 

“I know” I grin back. “Wendy, just so you know, you’re pretty cute” the girl throws me a skeptical look. “But don’t tell Seulgi I say that, she’s still sour I said your car is more comfortable” I joke giggling resting my chin on my hand. 

 

“Yeah, right, I had forgotten about that, no wonder she has been so into competing with me in any way about it” Wendy’s good mood is apparent now, whatever was bothering her is gone now, the girl pulls the tray back to her and grabs the almost untouched sandwich.  “It’s bad but I’m hungry” she excuses herself taking a big bite. “Remember, no telling Joy” she warms between chews.

 

“I won’t” I smile watching the girl make a face once she remembers why she pushed the food away in the first place. “So, all good now?” I say passing her a napkin.

 

“Yeah, yeah” she repeats looking back at the now non existing line at the checkout. “I’m going to get us some snacks,” she informs me getting up and stretching her body “what about some tea?” she offers after seeing me yawn. “You know, you’re very easy to talk to, no wonder Seulgi finds it easy to open up to you” she chuckles. “Thanks.”

 

“No need, we’re friends, remember?”

 

“Right” she grins.

 

+++

 

Seulgi got out of the surgery fairly fast, we received the news while still talking at the cafeteria, relieved the whole ordeal was finally over we went to check on the girl when we were allowed to get in the room. Once the doctor was out my mother let us in despite the famous rules, she said, and I quote “no one will notice at these hours.” 

 

It was a bit of a spectacle really.

 

Seulgi still had lingering effects from the anesthesia that made her talk funny for a short, and very entertaining, amount of time.

 

From expressing her love to Wendy and their friendship to having a deep conversation with my mother about.