When I open my eyes the next day the images of the events that took place the night before flood my memory, quickly, together with a slight feeling of regret and embarrassment. It's not like I didn't want to kiss her at the moment. I sure wanted to, it isn't that, the fact I was the one who made the first move it's what is troubling me.

Me.

 The one who pushed away her advances all this time, the one until the last second acted like she wasn't charming or attractive. I stare at the ceiling remembering everything, her stupid and adorable happy smile appears in front of me, I grab a pillow and put it on my face grunting against it.

And those are some of the things I like about you.

“Oh God, I confessed too.” I whine kicking my legs on my bed embarrassed, she was happy though, she couldn't stop smiling afterwards. “I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my charms!” She jokingly had said after my confession, her cheeks turned pink and her eyes disappeared with her big grin.

Ok, maybe I shouldn't use the word regret.

 But I do have to wonder, what changed last night that made me throw away my convictions and my let's see how the first date goes before making a decision plan go into the trash? Maybe it was my encounter with Krystal? It did make me feel vulnerable with the way she looked me up and down laughing not believing Seulgi could be interested in me. And seeing Seulgi being so carefree with me and telling me she likes me made everything feel more intense when she proved me the cheerleader was wrong.

 Seulgi sure proved her wrong with how quickly she kissed me back I remember, I hug my pillow with a small timid smile, she also confessed saying really nice things afterwards.

 She seems to have something that makes my brain turn to mush every time she does something. Grabbing her by the shirt and forcefully pull her to meet my lips isn't something someone with self control would do, but I did it, I pull her and crashed our lips together, just because she was being her and it was so doing it for me.

 I grunt and turn my body on my bed burying my face in it. I kissed her twice and then she kissed me goodbye, a long goodbye, talk about rushing into things. Yet somehow it doesn't feel like that, it doesn't feel...wrong, I might be embarrassed by my behavior but at the moment it felt right.

 My phone goes off and I don't even have to look at the screen to know who it is, I pat the mattress searching for the device. Without thinking much I face the ceiling again and answer it. “Hi, Seulgi.”

 “Um hi.”  I hear her cough a couple of times. “I didn't wake you up right?”

 “You didn't.” I breathe feeling my cheeks burn already, goddammit she just said hi, get it together. “Are you feeling alright?”  I ask noticing her nasal voice.

 “I think I caught a cold.”  I glance at her jacket resting on my chair, of course you did, stupid Seulgi. “Oh right, um good morning.” She giggles. Adorable idiot.

 “Good morning.” I whisper as my face finds her way back to my pillow.

 “About last night...”  She carefully says. “How are you feeling about it?” She coughs again.

"Confused.”

“Good confused or...” I bite down a smile hearing her nervous tone.

“Is there a good type of being confused?”

 “Totally like...I can't believe she kissed me first is a good type.” I keep silent too busy cringing at my behavior from last night. “You don't regret it...right? I mean...it's ok if you do but...don't...”

“I just can't believe I did that.” I say after taking the pillow from my face.

 “So no regrets?” She says hopeful.

“Regret isn't the word...”

“Then which one is it?”

 “Self-judgment?” I hear her laugh on the other line and then coughing again. “Are you ok?”

 “Me? Yeah, yeah, I'm perfectly fine. Don't worry.”

 “Are you sure? Don't lie.” I warn her with a stern tone.

 “Alright, I'm as good as the cold makes me feel?”

 “You should be resting instead of talking to me.” I say turning to my side watching her jacket, I should have made her take her jacket last night.

 “I know...but I woke up this morning not knowing if I imagined what happened last night, I just wanted to know if we're good.” She confesses almost mumbling her words. “We're good right?” I take a deep breath and sit with my back against the headboard.

 “Yeah...we're...we're good.”

“Ok, that's nice to hear.” I can picture the stupid smile on her face “Alright um...I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah...get some rest, alright?”

“I'll try. Have a nice day, Irene.”

“You too...um Seulgi?”  

“Hm?”

 “Get well soon.”

Definitely not feeling regret.

+++

Monday arrived in a blink of an eye, taking Yeri to school took longer than usual thanks to my reluctant steps. I'm nervous. Since the kiss...es and confession happened I haven't seen Seulgi, we talked last night over the phone since she said she felt better and told me she was looking forward to seeing each other today.

 It's a good kind of nervous I think, even though I'm a little embarrassed of facing her again I'm also expectant of how things are going to turn out now, are we going to be weird now? Would it be the same? Is she still going to be extra about everything? Because I kind of got used to it, I would miss it.

 I feel eyes on me when I get to my school, and not Seulgi's eyes like I was expecting, more like everybody standing in the entrance has their eyes on me. Weirded out I ran past them towards my locker, when I get there Joy is leaned back reading the school newspaper, now that's weird.

“Hey.” She lowers her paper and greets me back with a smirk.

 “I was waiting for you.” She says giving me the newspaper without saying anything else, confused I take it and read the front page where the title alone makes me scoff out loud.

 Seulgi's new girlfriend? It reads in big bold letters accompanied with a very long and painful to read the article about her interactions with me the day of the game, pictures included. I read it thoroughly cringing and scoffing with the over sensationalized descriptions of things.

 Is the tutor teaching more than just math?

 “I weep for the future of journalism.” I mutter watching the pictures. There's one of me wiping the sweat off her, of both sitting on the bench laughing together, there's even one of us walking outside the gym. I bet they didn't even take a picture of the games, I hate gossip.

 “I actually like these ones, I might ask for the originals.” Someone behind me says. I turn surprised and meet Seulgi's smiling face. “Hi.”

 “Hi.” I whisper looking down adjusting my glasses.