Of course, Hoseok won by the mile. Years of street dance had trained him for this exact moment: rubbing his victory into his girlfriend’s face as she lagged behind by yards, trying in vain to catch her breath.

He grinned smugly at her as she glared at him, too winded to even speak. He made a kissy face and rang the doorbell, ignoring her indignant slap on his back. The door opened, as Youngmi’s mother peeped out, her cheeks spreading into a welcoming smile as she saw her favourite future son-in-law (well, her only son-in-law, since both Youngmi’s brothers had girlfriends).

“Oh, Hoseok, you’re here!” Youngmi’s mother cooed delightfully. “I’ve just made a bunch of mandu for dinner. Are you staying?”

“Hey Ms. Yoo!” he greeted cheerfully, as her mother let the both of them in. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind staying for a while! Where’s Youngjae?”

“Eomonim,” Youngmi greeted behind him as her mother stretched out to give her a warm hug.

“Ah, Youngjae’s just in his room,” Ms. Yoo said. “Knock before you enter, I don’t know what he’s doing in there.”

Hoseok turned to face his girlfriend. To his surprise, she was staring rather sullenly into the distance at the mention of her favourite brother’s name. Hoseok poked her in the arm, sending her a concerned look. She jerked in surprise, wiping the look off on her face and replacing it with a fake smile. Hoseok could tell something was up, but she wasn’t giving any hints.

“Youngmi, you’re all sweaty!” Ms. Yoo gasped in horror, interrupting Hoseok’s psychoanalysis.

“Ah yeah, we ran here from his house,” Youngmi chuckled sheepishly, as Hoseok sent a guilty grin at Ms. Yoo’s disapproving face.

“You need a shower, now,” her mother spoke authoritatively.

Youngmi looked like she was about to protest, but Hoseok cut in.

“It’s cool, I’ll just go talk to Youngjae for a while,” he shot her a grin. “He wanted to show me this new game he got.”

“Fine…” Youngmi sighed. “I’ll be done by dinnertime.”

“Go bathe, smelly child,” Hoseok giggled as she sent him a withering look, before she made her way up the stairs.

Hoseok followed after her, stopping at her brother’s door as she entered her own room.

He rapped the door twice and heard an unintelligible reply. Assuming it was a “come in”, he opened the door and walked in.

“Hey Jae,” Hoseok greeted casually, dropping his bottom onto Youngjae’s bed and slouching.

Over the past few months he’d been interacting with the family, he was pretty close to all of them, especially his same-aged friend Youngjae. They shared many similar interests, and though Youngjae was primarily a singer, he had some wicked dance moves too. They’d bonded over their interest in performing, which for Youngjae was also only a hobby: he wanted to do computer science in university.

Hoseok sighed dreamily. Here was a boy a month older than him who already had his life path sorted out, yet Hoseok didn’t even know what he wanted to eat, let alone what he wanted to do with his life.

Youngjae swiveled around on his chair, a frown etched on his face. Hoseok immediately sat up, concerned as Youngjae let out a deep sigh.

“What’s wrong, bro?” Hoseok asked.

“It’s Youngmi,” Youngjae sighed, ruffling his hair in despair.

Hoseok connected the dots. No wonder she looked so upset just now… Was she having a fight with her older brother?

“I can’t believe she used to be in a gang…” he trailed off, looking despondent. “I feel like I don’t even know her anymore. Is she really my little sister? When we were younger she was so innocent. I tried to shield her from bad stuff in all the ways that I could. I tried to protect her. But now… look at her. I’ve failed.”

Silence permeated the room as Hoseok wondered what to say.

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened while you were separated from her,” Hoseok finally spoke.

“She had to go through such because I wasn’t there,” Youngjae said flatly. “She calls me her oppa but am I really deserving of that title? If I’d been by her side maybe… maybe she wouldn’t have joined that gang.”

“Well, maybe joining the gang wasn’t all bad?” Hoseok said slowly. “It definitely did leave a lot of damage on her, but you’ve only known the older Youngmi for a few months, whereas I have been with her over the past one and a half years. If it weren’t for the gang, and if Youngmi hadn’t been the person that she had been in the beginning… Maybe she wouldn’t even have me or you with her.”

Youngjae sighed despondently.

“Would you have taken all of Father’s beatings?” came Youngmi’s quiet voice.

Both boys jerked up. Youngmi was standing at the door, hair glistening in the warm light. She was freshly changed out of her school uniform, wearing a set of pyjamas.

“You shower really fast,” Hoseok remarked, but she ignored him.

She took a few steps to her older brother, who looked more and more tormented by the second.

“Oppa, maybe I would have been more protected if you were with me. But honestly, didn’t you live a better life with Eomonim and Youngwon-oppa? I would much rather the you have a great and safe life until we met again by fate, than if you were stuck with me and we both become emotionally damaged people,” she said quietly, kneeling to face her brother.

“I just wanted you to be safe,” Youngjae looked at her tiredly. “You’re my baby sister and my closest family…”

“Oppa, I don’t need you to take care of me,” she smiled ruefully at him. “I’m a big girl now. I know I’ve gotten into scrapes, and I can be hurt sometimes, but I’m capable of taking care of myself. You don’t have to take responsibility for what happened in the past. You didn’t fail as an older brother. It’s just the circumstances.”

“Youngjae, nobody is perfect,” Hoseok spoke reassuringly. “When I first started dating Youngmi, she wanted to talk to the guy who beat her up. I was so angry with her I stormed off on her. But you can trust Youngmi. She knows what’s best for herself. She’s a smart girl, and she’s quick on her feet.”

Youngmi sent Hoseok a thankful smile as Youngjae sighed and nodded.

“I need to let go off the idea that you’re still a baby,” he said slowly. “I just can’t believe that I’ve missed so many years of being an older brother to you.”

“Well, we can catch up on that now,” she smiled at him. “Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this way? I thought you were pissed at me for joining the gang.”

“I didn’t know how to say that I wanted to be your older brother without it sounding weird,” Youngjae cracked a weak grin at Youngmi.

She rolled her eyes.

“Sometimes I wonder if you really are as smart as your girlfriend tells me,” she joked as Youngjae swatted her lightly.

And just in time, Hoseok’s stomach let out a booming growl. He flushed red as Youngmi burst into fits of giggles and Youngjae shook his head drily at Hoseok.

“Alright, let’s go eat,” Youngmi laughed, grabbing hold of Hoseok’s and Youngjae’s hand in each of hers.

They followed her obediently, but as her back was turned, they exchanged a mutual look to protect this girl no matter what.

---

“Oh I heard from Yongguk-hyung that you guys were going to perform next month,” Youngjae spoke in the midst of dinner. “He was asking if we could come watch too.”

Youngmi brightened up as Hoseok blanched.

 “That sounds like a great idea!” Youngmi beamed widely, nodding her head eagerly. “The more the merrier! Get everyone to come! You guys can sit with Mirae and me.”

“Oh, a concert? I would like to come too,” Ms. Yoo spoke up eagerly.

“Youngmi…” Hoseok whined.

“You said you wanted people to come, didn’t you?” she asked innocently.

“But BAP are our rivals, remember? That time at the competition?” Hoseok sighed. “I don’t need any more pressure. You’ve already dragged my mum into this…”

“Relax, we’ll just be there to enjoy the show,” Youngjae grinned cheekily. “No stealing moves, promise.”

“Ugh, it’s next month and I’m already so stressed about it,” Hoseok groaned dramatically. “So much is banking on this…”

“If you want to pursue it as a career, there will always be pressure,” Youngjae shrugged, returning back to his food.

“What did you tell him?” Hoseok narrowed his eyes at Youngmi, who tried not to look guilty.

“She didn’t tell me anything,” Youngjae said. “I can see that you love dance. Hoseok, if you really want to do it, just go for it. What’s holding you back?”

Hoseok thought quietly. Honestly, he loved dancing. Dancing was imprinted in his nerves. He couldn’t live if he didn’t have dancing. And honestly, he had tinkered with the idea of being a professional dancer. But Yoongi-hyung had his business degree. So did Seokjin-hyung. Namjoon was going to become a philosopher. Jimin and Taehyung were pretty much as lost as him, while Jungkook… could Jungkook even face an audience?

Not to mention he was the only son in the family: he had to make them proud. Was dancing really the way to make them proud? His mother had said so many times that he was never serious about anything, but was he serious about dancing?

“Look, whatever it is, you should speak to your team about it,” Youngjae continued as Hoseok got embroiled in his inner turmoil.

“Yeah, I guess I will…” Hoseok trailed off.

Unbeknownst to him, seeds of hope had sprouted deep in his heart. He didn’t even notice the knowing smile on his girlfriend’s face as she turned back to her food.

---

Hoseok returned home in silence, letting the quietness seep into his thoughts. The questions Youngjae asked were valid, and they hadn’t left his mind ever since the boy had brought them up.

What was his dream? He’d told Youngmi before that he wanted to be an accountant. But that was only because he wanted a stable job with income that would allow him to provide for his family.

Truth be told… Hoseok hated accounting. Even Youngjae, who had barely glanced over his math homework, had remarked that “maybe you’re not suited to do math”. But accounting was a good job. It was stable, it had good money flow…

But it was hopelessly uninteresting.

Hoseok knew he loved dancing. But he’d always thought that this sort of thing was better off left as a hobby. Could he provide for Youngmi and his future family with the pittance they would earn from performing on the streets?

A ‘beep’ from his phone signaled a text. He opened the message from Youngjae.

Great news. Yongguk-hyung’s good friend Sleepy-hyung is coming to watch your performance too.

How is that great news? Hoseok replied, sighing at the ever-growing pressure on his back.

He knows a guy who owns an agency. If Sleepy-hyung likes you…

Hoseok connected the dots slowly. If this Sleepy guy came to watch the show, and he liked what he saw, maybe… maybe he could get them signed to this new agency?

His mind whirred. If the group could get signed onto this company then his worries would be answered…

But how could he possibly convince the rest that making this ragtag group a professional crew was a good idea?

---

And he didn’t have to do that apparently, come the next day. The group were practicing again, and J-Hope was debating on how he would approach the subject when Jungkook decided that now was a good time to drop a bomb on two of the three original members of the group.

“Youngmi told me her brother asked this guy called Sleepy to come,” Jungkook piped up innocently, causing Rap Monster to trip over his shoelace, landing on the floor with a bang and Suga to choke on his milk.

“Ah ah milk in my nose, milk in my nose,” Suga grimaced, gagging as Jin slapped him in the back multiple times.

J-Hope was frozen stiff as Jungkook glanced at the three original members innocently, wondering what he’d said to cause them such a big fuss.

“Who’s that?” Jimin asked curiously.

“Who’s that?! You’re seriously asking that question?!” Rap Monster exclaimed, having recovered from kissing the floor.

“He’s probably famous for being really good at naps,” V thought aloud as Suga swatted Jin away exasperatedly.

“He’s one of the biggest up-and-coming stars in Korean hip hop now,” Suga butted in. “He’s got contacts all over Seoul. This could be our big break!”

“Wait, you guys actually want this?” J-Hope asked in confusion.

“Dude, why the hell not?” Rap Monster asked. “If we get signed, we get an actual studio. We can make actual music. We’ll get professionals doing all the useless things! Jin-hyung doesn’t have to do Jimin’s eyeliner anymore!”

“He is pretty bad at eyeliner,” Jimin whispered to V, who shuddered at the thought of Jin going anywhere near his eyes with a pointy object.

“But what happened to philosophy?” J-Hope asked incredulously. “And Suga-hyung, Jin-hyung, your business degrees… you do realize if we go into this full-time, you’ll have to give up on your programmes right?”

Heavy silence fell upon the group of boys as the reality of that decision opened their eyes.

“You know, before I joined you guys,” Jin spoke up. “I was pretty lost in uni. Yoongi would know how scared I was of the future. But after a year and a half practicing with you guys, performing on the streets and doing gigs, I realize now. I was always meant to do this.”

“You and Joon know how much I love music,” Suga spoke gruffly, after Jin quieted.

“And who says you can’t do philosophy and music at the same time?” Rap Monster grinned cheerfully.

“Hyung, all of us are willing to go through with this, and become real performers,” Jungkook placed his hand passionately on J-Hope’s knee. “I too am willing to work through my disorders so that I can realize my dreams… What are you scared of?”

What was he scared of? He’d never put much thought into his dreams. For him, dancing had always been a passion, but to pursue it seriously?

What if he failed?

“I’m just scared that… that we’d screw up like last time,” J-Hope admitted. “And then it’d be too late to turn back.”

“It was scary at first to talk to Youngmi-ssi right?” Jimin spoke. “But look, you did it. We all have confidence in you, hyung. Even if we fail, we’ll just stand back up again! As long as we try again, it doesn’t matter how many times we fail, because we will succeed.”

“We can’t do this without you, hyung,” V said, dark eyes staring deep into J-Hope’s soul, beseeching him. “We’re not Bangtan without our dance leader.”

“Jimin and Tae are right,” Rap Monster spoke up authoritatively. “It’s okay to fail, Hoseok. What does Bangtan mean to you?”

J-Hope stayed silent and contemplative, their words striking deep into his heart.

What did Bangtan mean to him?

“You guys are my family,” he finally spoke. “I can’t imagine going through anything without you guys. You’re right… There’s no shame in failing, as long as we try again. I’ll… I’ll give Sleepy-ssi a shot.”

The whole gang exploded into cheers, and J-Hope finally felt a weight lift off his heart.

---

D-Day

---

Jungkook could barely hear anything through the blood pumping in his ears as he prepared for the first official performance they’d had in a year. Each thump of his heart and each drop of his stomach reminded him again how close they were to achieving their dreams. It felt just like that terrible first performance so many moons ago.

But something felt different this time.

Jungkook knew he was ready. He wasn’t alone anymore. He had all his hyungs with him, and his best friend Youngmi.

He reminisced upon the olden times, his mind turning back to his old family, a familiar ache burning in his chest as he recalled the bright smile of his older sister and mother, before everything was ripped to shreds.

To his surprise, the memory was hazy. He swept through the corners of his mind, trying to remember them, but the only clear memories popping up… were of Bangtan. Spending time together in the practice room, getting coffee downstairs in the middle of the night, cheering with each other when they successfully finished a choreo….

He felt his lips break out into a smile, just as someone launched onto his back.

“V-hyung!” he exclaimed in shock, clutching his chest as the older boy grinned and hugged him tightly.

“What is our little maknae dreaming of?” he teased.

“I’m not so little anymore, hyung,” Jungkook snorted, drawing himself to his full height.

“Well, you’re only 16, so don’t get cocky,” Jimin called from the side, slinging his other arm around Jungkook’s neck.

“Hey guys, what’s with the sudden group hug?” Jin popped up. “I wanna join too! Yoongi, get here! Namjoon and Hoseok, you guys too!”

The triangular-eyed boy groaned and shuffled over, as Rap Monster and J-Hope bounced into the hug.

“Look boys, no matter what happens today, we still have each other,” Rap Monster spoke in hushed tones. “We can’t be broken.”

“We’ve prepared so hard for this already,” J-Hope spoke aloud. “And I think each of us knows the kind of struggles we’ve had to go through to get here today.”

“We are bulletproof!” Jimin announced, as the boys roared in approval.

“Ready, team?” Namjoon smirked, as the others nodded fiercely. “Then let’s get out there, and show the best performance we’ve ever done!”

And with eager whoops, the boys sprinted through the curtains, ready to start a new chapter of their lives.