“I still can’t believe you broke up with him,” Mirae snorted unceremoniously, taking a sip of her Coke. “Y’all were cute together.”

“We didn’t feel the same way for each other,” I replied.

“Yeah, I know,” she smiled sympathetically, patting me on the shoulder. “The first breakup is always the toughest.”

We were seated in the hospital cafeteria having a late lunch as Mirae had popped by after school had ended.

“Who was your first?” I asked curiously.

The atmosphere got tense as her grip hardened on my shoulder. Her eyes turned glassy and hard as set in a tough line.

I winced at how hard she was grabbing me, my shoulder screaming in pain.

“I never really told you about him,” she finally released me, heaving a deep drawn-out sigh.

“It’s Park Jimin-sunbaenim, isn’t it,” I shot her a weary grin.

She nodded her head, drawn downwards.

“It’s just… We were together since the start of middle school, then I got to know you when high school started which made him upset, and one day he just dumped me,” she shrugged carelessly, but I could tell how much she was hurting.

I squeezed her hand sympathetically as she sniffed a little, brushing away tears.

“But he’s clearly gotten over me now! With that Hyuna,” she shrugged carelessly, smiling but it wasn’t reaching her eyes. “And I’ve gotten over it too!”

“Are you sure?” I asked doubtfully.

“Yeah, boys are worth nothing anyway,” she said. “I don’t care anymore.”

I highly doubted that she didn’t, but I let it slide as she carried on talking.

“So it’s just one more day till you get released from this hellhole, isn’t it,” she asked, changing the subject. “I don’t know how you survived living here for the past month. I would have died of boredom by now.”

“Well, I get visits from people so all is good,” I spooned rice into my mouth. “But at the same time, I’m glad to go home. I’ve missed school.”

“I’ve missed you too!” she swung her arms around my smaller frame, hugging me tightly. “It’s been so boring since you left. Like, Minho is such a little . You need to show him his place, Youngmi.”

“I told you I don’t do that anymore,” I shot her a small grin as I leaned into her comforting hug. “And you shouldn’t either.”

“Well I guess I’ve been unwillingly inducted into your circle of good karma,” she snorted. “I haven’t done anything bad since you stopped.”

I shot her a wide grin as she rolled her eyes.

“I did it for you,” she said cheerfully. “And yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s kinda boring having only one friend in class. Did I tell you that since you’ve been gone, I’ve been asked out to lunch like four times?”

“Really?” I asked, wide eyed. “You got new friends?”

“Yeah, I did!” she cheered. “Shin Minah and Park Jooyeon asked me to eat with them the other day and I gave them makeup tips.”

“See, I told you,” I couldn’t hide the grin on my face. “It is nice being a nice person.”

“Yeah, they even asked me about you too,” she wondered aloud. “It seems we’re getting more and more liked in school.”

“Yeah,” I grinned, thinking about what Superhero-sunbaenim would say. “I think so too.”

---

The music flowed through his earphones and into his limbs like water, allowing him to move to the beat effortlessly.

He swung to the right, but misstepped.

With a loud scream, he toppled to the floor, landing on the wood beams with a loud bang.

“God dammit Hoseok,” came the bleary voice of his hyung, who slammed the door to the studio open. “Why the hell are you still here? It’s 2 am.”

“I had thoughts to sort out,” he shrugged and sat his bum on the floor.

The older man heaved a deep sigh and made his way to where Hoseok was seated on the floor, before sitting down next to him.

“Lee Youngmi again?” he asked tiredly. “What’s up this time? Haven’t she and Jungkook already broken up?”

“Well yeah…” he trailed off. “I’m scared, hyung.”

“Didn’t we have this conversation a few weeks ago?” he snorted unceremoniously. “I already told you to tell her. And now she isn’t even dating Jungkook anymore, so what’s the problem?”

“She’s… she’s not ready to have a relationship,” Hoseok started, but Yoongi-hyung let out a throaty laugh.

“I know her well enough now that she hates people assuming things about her,” he said, showing Hoseok a toothy grin.

Hoseok blew his damp hair out of his face tiredly.

On one hand, Yoongi-hyung and Namjoon had a point. Who was he to decide if she was ready to have a relationship or not?

“I think there’s something else plaguing you about this,” Yoongi-hyung stood up, offering him a hand. “Why don’t you sleep on it? I’ll drive you home.”

With a quiet nod, Hoseok grabbed onto his hyung’s hand and followed him out the house, wondering if the older man was right.

Maybe there was a different issue here.

---

“Go Hoseok, go Hoseok, go Hoseok!” his crewmates cheered as he burst forward eagerly.

Now was his chance to impress everybody and show everyone how good he was!

He swayed from side to side, trying to remember the moves that his crewmates had taught him. The opposing crew taunted him, booing and jeering loudly as he tried a move. His own crew retaliated with even louder catcalls and hoots, as Hoseok strained to remember what he was supposed to do.

Was it a jerk to the left or to the right?

Was it a pop of the left arm or a lock of the right leg?

Which side should he land on?

Hoseok was so concentrated on remembering the complicated footwork his crewmates had taught him that he slipped, crashing onto the floor with a loud bang.

Immediately the jeers and boos became a cacophony, drowning out the rest of his crew.

Hoseok bopped back to his side, feeling rather ashamed of himself as his competitor threw himself into the ring.

Hoseok turned to watch the person, who turned out to be a girl.

And a rather pretty girl at that, he mused as the girl did a flip, landing perfectly on her feet.

She swayed into the beat immediately, hyping up the crowd by pumping up her hands, cheering loudly.

Her movements flowed like water as she matched each beat perfectly, dancing like she’d done it her entire life. Hoseok watched her in awe, his jaw dropping open as she executed each move with precision. She was amazing.

And all too soon, it was over, and the winner of the dance competition had to be announced.

Hoseok was jostled to the front as the girl joined him, smiling at him welcomingly. Hoseok refused to look at her, feeling rather embarrassed from his fall just now.

“The winner is, Nakamori Aya from Team Hana Furetsu!” the emcee cheered, holding the girl’s arm up.

So her name was Nakamori Aya huh.

Hoseok turned to leave, already feeling embarrassed enough, but a tight grip on his hand stopped him.

“Hey!” Nakamori Aya-ssi spoke, smiling with blindingly white teeth. “You were pretty cool out there! But you gotta dance from the heart, you know? Don’t just learn techniques for the sake of it!”

Hoseok blushed to the tips of his toes as he muttered a thanks and disappeared into the crowd.

And that was the day he fell in love for the first time.

---

Aya-noona was an upperclassman from the neighbouring school, Hoseok soon realised as he bumped into her on the bus to school one day.

She’d smiled at him again with that blindingly white grin, and Hoseok had bashfully grinned back. Since that fateful day at the competition, his thoughts had been filled with nothing but her.

Soon infatuation turned to love, and he finally gained the courage to ask her out. She’d accepted, and they began their relationship.

At first, it seemed like cherry blossoms on a summer evening. Their lives were peppered with sweet cheek kisses and rosy red blushes as fingers touched each other shyly.

Then clouds started to roam into the rosy sunset sky of their relationship.

Aya-noona started showing up late for their dance practices. She answered his calls with one word answers and a tired, bored voice. His messages went unread. Soon she stopped answering at all.

Hoseok had no idea what had happened between them, but slowly the days of smiles crumbled into unanswered dials and unread messages.

Hours stretched into days, days stretched into weeks as he frantically tried to get her back to him.

Until finally, his phone call was answered.

“Noona!” Hoseok cried out, his voice cracking in relief. “You finally-”

“Stop calling my girlfriend, alright?” a gruff voice answered him, throwing his heart into the depths of his abdomen.

The voice cut the phone call as Hoseok collapsed onto the bus seat, crying his heart out.

---

And finally it was the last day of my hospital stay. I only had to wait for Jungkook to come in the evening before I had to leave the hospital, since he was the one paying for me.

I had felt initially bad at first and didn’t want him to pay, but he insisted, claiming that the injuries had been his fault.

Thinking of Jungkook made my heart ache again.

How long had it been since then? I’d lost count of the days whilst I lost myself in the buzz of work, assignments, tuition… I didn’t, couldn’t, think of what had transpired between Jungkook and me.

We’d broken up.

Somehow it made me feel hollow inside, knowing that 32 days and 15 hours ago, we had mutually agreed to break off our relationship.

On one hand, it was devastating. My first relationship ending in flames, how wonderful. He’d been my first kiss, my first actual foray into the world of romance, and I had loved him…

But not in the way that he had loved me.

I still loved him. At times when I’d catch myself drifting off, the memories of his rosebud lips against mine would tear a new hole in my chest, or even the sight of familiar faces like BTS would cause unwanted memories to awaken in my head.

I crinkled the crisp sheet of paper in my hands, willing the heartache away, but I knew it wasn’t that easy.

A part of me missed him so much I wanted to die. It missed the way he’d say my name, the way his fingers would gently curl around mine, the way his eyes would flick to mine during his dance practice…

And it also reminded me of the almost parentally protective way I thought of him.

It wouldn’t have been fair to Jungkook if we had both continued to live a lie. He deserved someone who loved him truly, honestly, romantically. Someone who would look to him as her paramour, her second half.

And that wasn’t me.

The clock ticked 7am.

32 days and 16 hours now.

I hurriedly swiped the unshed tears from my eyes as I put my heartbreak aside for the moment, instead focusing my attention on the day ahead.

All I had left was one more tuition session with V-oppa, then it was back home again.

I hid a sigh of disappointment. Though the hospital stay had been fun, I knew that I couldn’t stay here forever. I still had my father to care about, and school too.

I wondered offhandedly if the man had even noticed that I was gone. He hadn’t come to visit even once.

Maybe he was dead.

I chuckled bitterly. Like God would be so kind as to kill him off for me.

I busied myself with looking over my things once again. Today was going to be a busy day indeed.

---

Hoseok woke up with a loud yell, tears streaking from his eyes as the face of his ex burned clearly in his memory.

“Hoseok? What’s wrong?” Jiwoo-noona barged in, wielding a frying pan.

Hoseok collapsed into his hands, body shaking as he tried to make sense of the dream he just had.

Why on earth had he dreamed about Aya-noona again? She was out of his life, and he out of hers.

“I’m so confused, noona,” he finally said, his voice muffled by his hands. “Help me.”

“What’s up? You can talk to me about anything,” she cooed, brushing his hair away from his face. “Is it girl problems?”

“I don’t understand,” he said, face still nestled into his palms. “I get the greatest chance now to get the girl, but I feel terrified of even broaching the subject with her… Then I get nightmares about Aya-noona and… I’m just so confused.”

“Well, why are you so scared about confessing?”

“She’s not ready to have a relationship,” he answered.

“Are you sure that’s the reason? Or is it because of Aya?”

Hoseok paused for thought.

“Are you scared to confess to her because you’re afraid she’ll treat you like Aya did?” his sister asked, breaking the silence.

Hoseok felt his heartbeat still as he processed her words. He felt a lightbulb go off in his head as he finally looked at his soul face to face, instead of hiding behind flimsy excuses.

His noona was right.

He was scared of Youngmi treating him the same way Aya had. He was scared that he’d become disposable to the girl, that she’d throw him away and get a new boyfriend once she was exhausted of him.

He nodded his head slowly, fearfully as his sister patted him sympathetically.

“Is she anything like Aya? Has she shown you that she’ll abandon you before?” she asked slowly.

Hoseok felt himself shake his head mechanically.

“Then what are you so afraid of?”

The words shot through him like laser beams. His sister was right. Youngmi had never shown him any sign that she would abandon him. In fact, when he’d tried to move on from her, she’d clung on stubbornly like a limpet.

The memory of her made him smile.

Hoseok realised now: Aya was not the only girl who would ever be with him, and she would not be the last. He wanted that spot to belong to the girl who had his heart now.

“Go get her, kiddo,” his sister joked, ruffling his hair. “I wanna meet her one day. Now off to school, you pig!”

Hoseok jumped out of the bed and nodded to her cheerfully, before running to change, his heart and mind made up.

---

“Oh? You’re here early,” I glanced up from my textbook, as V-oppa waved cheerfully.

Superhero-sunbaenim was absolutely out of breath, the poor boy heaving like a goldfish out of the water. His cheeks were a burnt red as sweat beaded on his forehead, his brown locks slicked out of the way messily.

“You wanna join the tuition session?” I cocked my eyebrow when he failed to reply, patting the space on my bed next to my body. “You’ll have to share my seat though, since V-oppa took the last one.”

“N-No, I don’t want to sit in your tuition,” Superhero-sunbaenim finally let out, having caught his breath. “I just wanted to tell you something.”

I paused for a while, waiting for him to speak.

Silence as the boy paced around the room, frowning and muttering to himself.

“Uh, yeah? What did you want to say?” I asked in confusion as the boy yelled in frustration.

“I think he wants to confess something,” V-oppa smirked wilfully.

I turned my confused eyes onto V-oppa. Confess what? I was in the middle of my job.

“Look, can you save whatever you want to say for later?” I asked, turning back to the textbook. “I’ve got to finish my session with V-oppa. You can come in after we’re done. You’ll have five minutes before Nurse Jeonmi gets here. That should be more than enough for you to say what you want.”

The boy deflated even further, before he brightened up again and dashed out of the room, not paying me any heed.

How rude.

I rolled my eyes, turning back to the textbook when V-oppa snickered.

“What?” I asked, annoyed.

“You like him, don’t you?” he laughed, covering his mouth daintily as my jaw dropped open.

Immediately red diffused up my cheeks as my heart sped up.

“W-what?” I flushed red.

“You like him,” V-oppa giggled like a schoolgirl. “I can tell.”

“I don’t,” I said. “When you like someone, aren’t you supposed to have butterflies or feel weird and stuff? I don’t feel that way around him at all. He just makes me feel happy, and that my life isn’t total . Like, he makes my life brighter? He’s my knight.”

“Don’t knights and princesses usually end up marrying each other in the end of the story?” he teased lightly.

“N-not in this story,” I turned even redder. “The knight and the princess are just friends. That’s all, end of story, no arguing.”

His eyes turned serious.

“I don’t want you to lie to yourself anymore, Mimi,” he said directly, shushing me when I tried to argue. “You deserve to be happy.  Hoseok-hyung is a great guy, and he cares about you as much as you do him, maybe even more.”

I knew he already liked me, but how did I feel towards him?

“If he asked you out, what would you say?” V-oppa encouraged as I felt my resolve gradually weaken. “Like, on a date or something. Just the two of you, alone together somewhere, enjoying each other’s company.”

I flushed a terrible, terrible red.

“H-he already has,” I muttered, nose bridge aflame and eyes avoiding the sudden manic glee in V-oppa’s eyes.

“Did you like it?” he asked, smile curving.

“Y-yeah…”

“Do you foresee yourself going on another date with him? Holding his hand, hugging him, doing skinship?”

“H-he kinda already hugged me like four times…”

“Wow! Hoseok-hyung is a lady killer!” V-oppa whistled as I bristled.

“Look, I don’t like him okay! I can’t. Not so soon. And what are the chances he likes me? I can’t lose him, not like this,” I rapidly deflated. “If it becomes awkward between us, I’d have lost my first and my best friend. I can’t lose him. He means the world to me.”

“Listen to yourself, Youngmi!” V-oppa jumped up, shaking my shoulders. “How can you not like him? You said it yourself, he means the world to you. This is way more than just friendship!”

“He’s not just a friend!” I snapped brusquely. “He’s… he’s…”

I thought back to all of those could be or couldn’t be moments that I’d shared with him; to the times when I would mindlessly compare Jungkook to him; to the closeness and the familiarity I felt to him and his big heart.

He was someone I wanted to be actively present in my life, forever. When I had come close to losing him because of my relationship with Jungkook, it almost tore me apart. I couldn’t lose him. I needed him. I needed him like I needed oxygen.

Was this love?

“Loving is like breathing, Mimi,” V-oppa sat back down quietly. “You don’t realise you are until you feel the oxygen filling your lungs, diffusing into your blood, penetrating your cells… You love him.”

I felt my world suddenly screech to a halt as I numbly made sense of V-oppa’s words.

I was in love with Superhero-sunbaenim.

FIller chapter sorry :(