Whewwwwwwwwwww

Jungkook melted into the shadows as Hoseok-hyung skipped past him, humming a merry tune.

In contrast to his happy hyung, Jungkook was not pleased. At all. He suppressed the boiling emotions in his belly as Hoseok-hyung skipped off in the general direction of his classroom or the canteen or whatever, at this point Jungkook was not giving any fudges (Sir didn’t like him swearing).

His heart broke as he recalled that time he’d brought her out for ice cream and revealed his life’s secret to her. She’d seemed so understanding at that time, like she’d empathised with him. And now he knew why. Turns out she’s been harbouring secrets of her own.

How long had Lee Youngmi been hiding this secret from him?

As he gazed at the rapidly-disappearing figure of Hoseok-hyung, the fresh knife of the almost-kiss between the two of them stabbed him in the chest.

Did she like Hoseok-hyung?

Had she only apologised to him and become friendlier towards him because of Hoseok-hyung? Was Hoseok-hyung the reason why she smiled at him so often, and came for their group performance? Did she just want to see Hoseok-hyung perform and not him?

All the times when he felt that he could actually have a chance… that she actually liked him and wanted to be his friend… did it mean nothing?

He felt an anchor of sadness plunge his heart into his stomach. Could he ever compete with a guy like that?

Hoseok-hyung was an all-round nice guy, who always put others before him. He was a shining beacon of hope, with his infectious smile and his upbeat energy. And he wasn’t exactly bad looking either, though his face was a little long.

And what was Jungkook? Nothing more than a weakling who had emotional baggage. Would she ever want to be with him when she had her own stuff to deal with?

The bell ringing jarred him out of his thoughts. He scurried behind a wall as Lee Youngmi stumbled out of the garden, lost in her thoughts.

Bewildered, Jungkook just followed her obediently to class and wondering if she even considered him a friend now.

---

And clearly she didn’t.

She’d spent the whole day ignoring and avoiding him, pointedly looking away whenever he gazed at her.

What had he done so wrong that she didn’t even want to talk to him now? Jungkook almost wanted to cry with frustration. Was it that bad that she just wanted to cut off all contact with him?

He was so close to finally telling her how he felt yesterday, but now it seemed like he was back to square one.

Scratch that, it was more like square -100, since square one had involved her actually interacting with him, even if it was beating him up.

Jungkook thought it was pretty ironic that he would rather she beat him up now than completely ignore him like she was doing currently.

He kept his eyes on her, watching as she and Hwang Mirae conversed, Hwang Mirae giggling about some weird thing and her shaking her head violently, causing her hair to swing around like a helicopter.

Jungkook sighed and dug his head into his arms, refusing to look up anymore and stare at the current bane of his existence.

Life .

---

Hoseok couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he bounced into the classroom, his heart thumping like an angry elephant whipping its tail back and forth.

“You look happy today,” Namjoon remarked drily. “It’s to do with Lee Youngmi, isn’t it?”

“Oh my god, how did you know?” Hoseok asked, flabbergasted.

“I’m not an idiot, Hobi,” he rolled his eyes. “So what happened?”

“We talked a little bit and she told me more about her life… then I kinda asked her out for dinner,” Hoseok started and when he saw the shocked look on Namjoon’s face, quickly added, “as friends! Nothing more, I promise!”

“As friends,” Namjoon cracked a wry grin. “Boys and girls don’t do well as just friends, Hobi. You totally like her, don’t you?”

The heat radiating off his face was more than an answer for Namjoon, who sighed.

“And no matter what I say, you won’t stop liking her?” he asked.

An uncharacteristically shy nod of the head confirmed Namjoon’s thoughts, and he sighed again.

“Well, I warned you,” he shrugged carelessly. “I’m kinda glad though, that you finally have another prospect in your life. Aya was like what, 4 years ago?”

“5,” Hoseok replied, remembering the ex who had cheated on him. “I just didn’t want any more girlfriends after how we broke up! And dance is more important, anyway. BTS too, now!”

“Well, I’ll be here if you ever need me,” Namjoon said. “That girl looks like a heartbreaker.”

“Nah, she seems really innocent for someone who’s so terrifying,” Hoseok cracked a laugh. “It’s kinda cute actually. Like when I do things to her she’ll just-”

“Spare me the cheese please,” Namjoon groaned, looking squeamish. “I don’t need to know what base the two of you have gone to.”

Hoseok laughed at Namjoon’s discomfort as they lapsed into silence.

His wide smile slowly faded as he recalled how blunt she had been, talking about the huge secret behind her injuries without emotion until finally the dam had broken and she’d cried in his arms.

So his hunch had been right after all. Lee Youngmi was being beaten. By her father, no less.

He couldn’t believe someone would do that to their own daughter. And he couldn’t believe her mother would be so cruel as to abandon her when she was 5, only taking her brothers with her. How was that good parenting?

No wonder she was so messed up.

He quickly stalled the sense of sympathy he felt for the girl. Even if she hadn’t had a family, she still had a sense of pride and Hoseok didn’t want to offend her by feeling pity. Lee Youngmi would hate being pitied, after all.

He thought about his feelings for her.

Was he allowed to like her, now that he knew so much? She obviously would have lots of emotional issues to deal with, and Hoseok knew the girl wasn’t ready for a relationship, especially when so many of her issues were ongoing.

And not to mention Jungkook’s feelings for her.

Hoseok felt his mind tumble as he thought about the boy. He’d gone through a -ton of stuff, and who was Hoseok to try to interfere in Jungkook’s happiness?

But who said that he couldn’t achieve his own happiness either?

He chuckled ironically. This seemed to be a conversation he’d had with himself just a few nights ago.

He let out a big sigh.

Why couldn’t he think of his own happiness, and just swoop in and make her love him instead of having to care so much about Jungkook’s feelings and her feelings and everybody else’s feelings except his own?

Being a protagonist .

---

Okay, let’s be real. I have never been on a date before. Never.

No boy has ever asked me out, partially because I terrified them to tears, but also most likely because Lee Youngmi was not an attractive girl. Seriously. There’s nothing remotely good-looking about me, especially with all the scars on my body thanks to the father, and my -it-all attitude towards the world was turning heads but not in a good way.

Why on earth did this boy, this poor innocent boy, invite me on a date?

I felt a sense of sick hope as I thought about it. Was this a joke? Was he just joking with me?

The phone buzzed in my pocket, shocking me out of my thoughts swirling with Superhero-sunbaenim.

So what’s up between you and Jungkook?

I looked at Mirae in confusion. She jutted her chin out in Jungkook’s direction, before raising an eyebrow and staring me down.

There’s nothing up between us. I texted back.

Then why is he looking at you like he murdered your dog?

I took a look beside me. True enough, Jungkook looked like a puppy who got kicked and then left in the rain. His dark eyes met mine for an instant, and the memory of last night threw me off instantly.

The warm grip of his hand, those words of his that hinted that there was more to his feelings to me than I thought…

I snapped my gaze away, cheeks burning shamefully.

There is totally something going on between you two.

I almost dropped my phone in mortification as my eyes scanned the text.

Shut up!!!!! There. Is. Nothing. Going. On. We’re just friends. That’s all.

I could see her silently laughing to herself, her shoulders shaking as I glared at her.

I’m bored. Let’s make someone’s life hell. Like Choi Ara. I don’t like her eyebrows, they look like caterpillars.

I paused for thought. It seems like I hadn’t been keeping Mirae up to date with my reflections. Oh well, better late than never.

Meet me in the bathroom. I texted, before stepping out of my seat and heading off, ignoring the teacher’s protests.

It was time to confront this bullying thing.

---

“So what’s with the sudden bathroom hangout?” Mirae remarked, slouching against the bathroom door as I looked into the mirror, determination steeling in my eyes.

“Look, Mirae,” I started, flicking my eyes towards her. “This can’t go on forever. Someday we’ll have to grow up.”

I paused to take a breath as she stood a little straighter, as if sensing that I meant business.

“I don’t want to do that sort of thing anymore. I don’t want to hurt others. It’s not fun anymore, Mirae.”

“You can’t be serious, right?” her laugh was dry and harsh as she stared me down with disbelief in her eyes. “Youngmi, you can’t just quit this. Do you know how fast news travels? People are going to tear you apart.”

I opened my mouth indignantly to reply but she barrelled on.

“You can’t quit now! We are the queenkas of the school. People fear us. Our social lives will be destroyed if we just stop doing it!”

“My social life is doing just fine without this,” I muttered sullenly.

She blanched.

“Oh my god, Youngmi, who have you been hanging out with to give you such dumb ideas?”

“It’s just some upperclassman,” I mumbled defensively as she groaned again.

“It’s that boy who messed with you right? The one with the horse-face? , I knew he was going to be bad news. What nonsense has he been spouting to make you think that you don’t wanna do this anymore?”

“H-he just said that he thinks I’m a good person who is better than this…”

“And you believed him? God Youngmi, you’re so naïve. This guy just wants to get in your pants, that’s all! Honestly, all guys think about is , you can’t be so trusting and just follow along with whatever one guy says to you,” she scolded, causing me to shrink further and further into myself.

I felt a stab of annoyance as she ranted on. Who the did she think she was, telling me what to do?

 “He’s obviously a lying prick who’s trying to make you into something you’re not,” she rolled her eyes. “The Lee Youngmi I know is a strong woman who doesn’t let anyone step over her. She plans her own rules and people follow her. We’ve got to stick to the status quo, Youngmi.”

“Why don’t you solve your own first before you hound me on my own business?” I snapped angrily. “He likes me as a friend, and I know it. There’s nothing else going on between us! And I know that I’m way better than making some poor kid feel like a piece of . I’m over that , alright? I’m done.”

She recoiled at my outburst, but her eyes turned steely.

“If you’re going to do stuff like that, then fine, whatever,” she said angrily. “I’ll let you do whatever you wanna do. But don’t come crying to me when you end up being bullied because of some dumb reason like this upperclassman.”

I sighed as she flounced out of the bathroom, wanting to take back my angry words.

That really didn’t go well.

---

The bell rang shrilly, knocking me out of my stupor. I gulped in nervousness as my eyes flicked to the classroom door.

It was time.

As I stood to pack my things, I felt a burning gaze on me. Expecting it to be Mirae, I my coldest glare and came face to face with Jungkook.

His eyes were incredibly sad. I couldn’t explain it, but somehow I felt a little guilty for wanting (or rather waiting impatiently, not really wanting) to spend time with Superhero-sunbaenim.

“Are you really going?” he asked quietly.

I cocked my head in confusion. What was he talking about?

My thoughts were interrupted as I heard my name being called.

“Lee Youngmi!” Superhero-sunbaenim poked his head through the door, smiling widely.

The rest of the class watched in silent shock as he walked in cheerfully, loud footsteps echoing on the tiled floor.

“Not so loud, you idiot,” I flushed in embarrassment as I pushed the guilt to the back of my mind.

“I can’t help it,” he grinned cheekily, before turning to Jungkook, his cheerful disposition evaporating. “Uh, hi Jungkook.”

Jungkook nodded listlessly in response, before abruptly grabbing his stuff and making a quick exit.

I stared after his retreating figure with concern and a little guilt, unaware of the sad smile on Superhero-sunbaenim’s face as he noticed my look towards Jungkook.

“Shall we go?” he interrupted my gazing with a little too much cheerfulness, but his eyes had lost their twinkle.

I turned to him and nodded, quirking the corners of my lips up in an attempt to smile, but it wasn’t a very good one.

I followed him out of the classroom as the rest of the class openly gaped at us, Mirae rolling her eyes.

---

It seemed a little nice actually, walking with Superhero-sunbaenim. He was chatty, but not overly chatty. And surprisingly, I didn’t find him annoying at all. In fact, he seemed like a really nice guy to hang out with.

And unfortunately, our hands had a habit of smacking each other as we walked, or when we were trying to squeeze through the throngs of people. I could feel my heart rate jump whenever our hands made contact, which was a little odd.

“Oh yeah, I’ll need to bring you to my house later,” he remarked aloud as we manoeuvred our way through the streets.

I immediately coloured as various scenarios ran through my head, none of them remotely near the PG-13 rating.

“No I didn’t mean that!” he hastily denied, flushing as well. “I meant like, you have to pick up your bird and he’s at home so you should come that’s all like not anything like that-”

“Okay,” I hid a chuckle at his fluster.

“So where are you bringing me?” he asked curiously, long legs easily catching up to my quicker pace.

“I’m bringing you to Club B,” I replied, following the familiar and oft-trodden route that I always took.

“What?! You’re not serious, I’m way too uncool to even be near that place,” he said in shock.

“Well I’m treating, so I pick,” I shot back drily.

“Fine, but they better not kick me out,” he said. “It’s my first time going to a club.”

“I think you’ll like it,” I wrinkled my nose at him as he laughed.

---

The club was dyed a neon purple by their lights. He’d never been to any club before but he knew Club B was the it club, where all the cool people went to hang out. Hoseok never had a feel for clubs, but he really did like the music. Before he knew it, he was bopping to the beats, the scents of sweat and perfume mingling in the air really doing a good job in creating an atmosphere for him.

And then his brain short-circuited when she latched onto his hand, the softness of her palm a welcome feeling against his own calloused ones.

He felt bittersweet course through his veins as his heart thumped loudly, the beat of the music oddly muted as he focused his attention on the girl in front of him.

The angels and demons in his head fought viciously, one side egging him to just go after her dammit, the other chastising him for even thinking of wanting her for his own, for neglecting Jungkook’s feelings for her, for not thinking of the things she was going through right now, but honestly, all Hoseok wanted to do was enjoy being with her without having to feel all of this crushing guilt.

She pulled him towards the bar, which was nestled in a dingy corner of the club. Down here it was much more quiet, and there weren’t as much people.

“Hey B-Bomb-oppa,” she greeted, before pulling Hoseok a little closer. “This is my friend, Jung Hoseok-sunbaenim. Superhero-sunbaenim, this is B-Bomb-oppa. He’s the bartender of Club B and one of my oldest friends.”

The man polishing the glasses nodded in greeting to him. Hoseok nodded back hesitantly as Lee Youngmi released his hand, moving to sit on a stool. Hoseok followed suit, missing the feeling of her hand in his.

“Orange juice for the lady?” B-Bomb-ssi smirked before turning to Hoseok. “And for the gentleman…?”

“Just water,” he said as the man nodded.

There was a lull in chatter as Hoseok took in his surroundings in awe. The entire barroom was coloured in shades of dark reds and wines, and it was a pretty classic design. It was well situated away from the club, so the noise was much more muted here. Instead, some light jazz was playing, and Hoseok felt oddly at ease.

“Oppa, can we have the paella please?” Lee Youngmi asked before whispering to Hoseok, “It’s their bestseller.”

Hoseok nodded in appreciation as B-Bomb-ssi grunted acknowledgement and signalled to the kitchen staff before handing them their drinks.

Hoseok sipped his water, enjoying the hints of lemon and mint.

“Did you ask me out today because you want to have with me?”

And he promptly choked and spit it out all over his tie. Great.

“Where did that ever come from?!” he gasped for breath, wiping his mouth with his sleeve and removing his soaked tie.

Lee Youngmi snatched it from him and remorselessly started to dab it with a paper towel.

“I just didn’t know why you invited me out and Mirae says you just want to me,” she frowned, concentrating on drying the tie. “I wouldn’t understand why though, it’s not like I’m particularly pretty or anything.”

“I just wanted to spend some time with you,” Hoseok explained hastily. “It definitely was not to have with you or anything like that. We’re friends. Why would I ever do that to you without your permission?”

“… Okay,” she hummed. “Let’s be friends then. What do friends do on dates?”

“You want this to be a date?” Hoseok cracked a cheeky grin. “I was okay with calling it a hangout, but if you really want to date me so bad, you could have just-”

“Okay, a hangout! A hangout!” she interrupted, blushing furiously.

Hoseok hid a laugh as she buried her face in her hands, the tips of her ears dyed a tomato red. Why was she so cute again?

---

I actually really enjoyed hanging out with Superhero-sunbaenim. He really did treat me like a friend, and I appreciated it.

As we talked, I found out more about him. He told me about his family and his closeness to his sister, who was 8 years his senior. Then we started talking about our dreams.

He shared about his love for dancing, which inevitably led to talking about Bangtan… Which inevitably led to talking about Jungkook.

“So how do you feel about him?” he asked cheekily, though the emotion in his eyes was veiled.

“I… don’t know,” I sighed, thinking about the murkiness of my feelings for him. “He said he wanted me to wait for him to get better, but honestly, I don’t even know how I feel for him. He makes me smile and I get this feeling to protect him from any harm… but I’ve never had a boyfriend before so I don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling. I guess there could be something there but it’s too early to tell.”

“Well, there’s no harm trying,” was his short response, followed by a hurried sip of water.

“How about you?” I turned to him.

“Well…” he trailed off. “There’s someone, I guess.”

My heart kinda plummeted.

Ah. He did like someone after all. What was I expecting?

“Why don’t you go after her?” I hurriedly sipped my juice too.

“She’s got a lot of stuff to deal with,” he smiled wistfully. “And this other guy really likes her too, and he deserves her more than I do.”

“How can you say that?” I hit him on the elbow playfully. “Any girl would be lucky to have you. You’re a really cool guy!”

“Well the other guy is a really good friend of mine, so I don’t want our friendship to be affected,” he sighed. “I just don’t want anyone to be hurt, and if I have to be hurt so that they don’t, then so be it.”

The conversation lulled after that as we finished our meals and soon we were getting ready to go.

As we packed up, he suddenly brought up a weird topic.

“Hey, remember the last time we fought?” he asked. “It was about some guy, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, Yoo Youngjae from BAP,” I replied.

“Did you ever look him up?”

“There was a lot happening so I didn’t manage to, but I guess it’s not really important anyway,” I shrugged. “It’s just some guy.”

“Hm,” was his only response. “Race you.”

“Huh?” I asked in confusion, but he was already running out of the bar, cackling manically.

I huffed angrily and chased after him, intent on winning.

---

The walk to his house and now to hers had been relatively quiet, but Hoseok for once appreciated the quietness. He couldn’t exactly trust himself to talk now.

The way she’d talked about Jungkook was rather open-ended, and Hoseok could feel his heart cautiously hoping for something, but he pushed it away.

How could he be so selfish and completely ignore what Jungkook felt for her? If it would help him improve faster, then they could perform sooner which meant Hoseok could achieve his dream faster.

Wasn’t that win-win for everyone?

---

I cradled the box under my arms, Hinsaek resting quietly inside. Superhero-sunbaenim had decided to bring his dog along as we walked back to my house, and I honestly loved the little boy.

He was such a beautiful dog, with melting eyes and a great big smile just like his owner. In fact, they looked a little alike, which was kinda creepy but still cute.

I stared at Superhero-sunbaenim’s back as he walked in front of me.

This guy was really one of the friends that I wanted to keep for a lifetime. He was actually a really good guy, and being with him made me peaceful and happy, like I was with a cuddly teddy bear who would fight demons for me.

I was actually kinda happy that he’d asked me out, now that I look back. It gave me a chance to really pay him back for what he’d done for me. It wasn’t just taking care of Hinsaek for the night, it was also the times he’d unconditionally treat my injuries without asking, being there for me when I needed him… I knew his friend didn’t like me much, but he still continuously tried to hang out with me and it made me feel really happy and fuzzy inside.

We slowed to a stop in front of my house.

“We’re here,” he smiled at me gently.

“This is for Mickey.”

I bent down and placed a small kiss on Mickey’s forehead. He wagged his tail happily at me as I patted his head once more.

And then I looked to him.

“And this is for you.”

I took a step forward and gave him the tightest hug I could ever give anyone in the world. I felt him freeze up as I held my cheek to his chest, the thud of his heart quickening. And then he slowly relaxed and hesitantly touched my shoulders in return, as if he was afraid to actually hug me.

“Thank you for everything,” I mumbled into his uniform, eyes shining with unshed tears.

“I-it’s what friends do,” came his reply.

We stood like that for a moment, me breathing in his piney scent as he slowly melted against me, hugging me properly.

I finally released him when he reluctantly let go of me.

“Jungkook is really lucky,” he choked out, before coughing and ruffling my hair. “Tell him to take care of you when he’s able to, but for now… let me do it.”

I stared at him in confusion as he waved and walked off. What on earth did he mean?

---

It was only when I was in bed, about to sleep when I realised what Jungkook had meant.

He’d been asking about Superhero-sunbaenim.

Jungkook had been listening in on our conversation yesterday.

Ok I admit I have no idea how to write date scenes D: