As promised!

“Boy trouble, huh?” Nurse Jeonmi murmured as I stared discontentedly at the window, willing for my issues to just fix themselves.

As I’d been saying, Nurse Jeonmi was my regular nurse, and surprisingly, we had hit it off quite well. She was pretty old, around her 50s, but she still looked rather sprightly and kept together. She was really nice and maternal, which was a warm but stark contrast to life at home, and it made me love staying here even more.

As if on cue, my ears flushed a bright red.

“You wanna talk about it?” she smiled maternally, taking a seat.

I felt a ball rise up in my throat.

What was I supposed to say? I’m dating a guy I supposedly love, but then I tried to kiss another guy who’s supposed to be my best friend? And now none of them want to see my anymore? And I also got beaten up on the boyfriend’s behalf only for him to get pissed at me… again?

I let out a groan of frustration as the issues started to pile up.

 “My boyfriend keeps getting angry at me,” I muttered sullenly, glaring daggers at the blanket. “He got mad when I wanted to settle some issue with my best friend, and he got mad again when I got beaten up for his sake.”

“You wanna tell me the whole story?” she asked.

Now, I don’t often share my life’s history with strangers, but Nurse Jeonmi had been with me for the past few weeks I’d been stuck in the hospital, and she was plenty nice, and… I was also pretty pissed and tired of the whole situation. I had to say something, or I’d explode.

And not to mention I felt this strange, otherworldly connection with her. It felt nostalgic when she talked to me, almost like I was recalling a piece of my past I couldn’t quite remember.

So I told her. From Jungkook kissing me in the middle of nowhere, to getting together with him, to Superhero-sunbaenim not talking to me anymore, to Jungkook getting pissed as at me for even wanting to talk to Superhero-sunbaenim about it, to getting beaten up, to Jungkook getting pissed again, to finally talking it out with Superhero-sunbaenim, and then to almost kissing him.

Finally after I let everything out, I felt so much better. I’d wanted to talk about this for ages, honestly, but no one had given me an avenue and the one person I often confided in was the cause of my problems now.

“Wow…” was the only word she managed to say.

“Wow indeed,” I chuckled humourlessly.

“Youngmi, it’s sounding to me that there are a few problems in your relationship with these two boys,” she spoke.

“Problems?” I echoed curiously.

“For example, your boyfriend sounds like he’s being very controlling of you,” she said. “I don’t think that’s a healthy relationship, and I’m sure you dislike it too.”

I found myself nodding along. She was right, Jungkook was trying to have too much control over what I could or couldn’t do. Like honestly, what business was it of his to try and prevent me from having my own friends?

“With the other one though,” she shot me a rueful grin. “I think you need to set some boundaries with him.”

I felt my heart slip a little deeper. Boundaries?

“It seems as if he’s gotten feelings for you,” she explained.

And my heart dropped to my feet. I felt my jaw drop open as heat rushed to my face.

Superhero-sunbaenim had… feelings for me? But how? When? Why?

And why did I not mind?

She talked on at length about something, but I was hardly paying attention.

I felt confused, lost even.

If he had feelings for me, had everything he’d done for me been out of romantic love, in an effort to get me to date him?

But if that had been true, then why had he been so okay with me dating Jungkook? He’d even smiled and cheered us on.

Except… he hadn’t been okay with it.

My thoughts connected the dots.

That night in the lift… when the three of us were together and he looked obviously not okay… When he was suddenly no longer talking to me after I started dating Jungkook.

I’d been so blind.

And now I had hurt him. I had hurt my best friend.

I felt a sudden explosion of guilt in my stomach as I recalled the pain in his eyes, the overwhelming urge to apologise and beg for forgiveness stuck deep in my gut.

How could I have done that to my best friend? I had never even considered the possibility that he would like me, and he’d always been the one I confided in, but I realised that he’d never confided in me.

How long had he been covering his feelings up, and why?

Would I have rejected him?

I mean, I had to now, since I had Jungkook and everything, but if I hadn’t been dating Jungkook…

A sudden rush of heat to my cheeks answered me.

I didn’t actually mind dating a guy like him.

“Youngie?” Nurse Jeonmi waved her hands in front of me, snapping me out of my confusion.

My eyes widened in shock, the familiar nickname reverberating in my skull.

“What did you just call me?” I asked sharply.

“Y-Youngmi,” she stuttered, and I frowned.

I was sure I’d heard something else. A name no one else but that old lady would call me…

“I think you should really talk to the two of them,” she continued.

“I will,” I smiled gratefully, but my mind was still whirling with the recent information she’d just given me.

“Anyway, you’ve been here for quite a while,” she frowned. “Wouldn’t your father be worried about you?”

The sudden personal question shook all thoughts of Superhero-sunbaenim out of my head.

“Him?” I snorted. “He’s more worried about nursing his hangover.”

The disapproving look on her face made me want to crack up.

“Not every man can be as kind and as loving as your own husband,” I gestured towards the gold band currently resting on her fourth finger. “I’m just lucky to have a house to live in.”

“I know,” her eyes turned dreamy. “It took me two tries.”

“Two tries?” I echoed curiously.

“My first marriage was a disaster,” she smiled ruefully, and looked like she was about to say more when there was a knock on the door.

“I’ll leave you for now then,” she got up from the seat and ruffled my hair mischievously. “Go have a good, long talk with them.”

I watched her open the door, nodding to the person outside the door.

Jungkook walked in, flanked by none other than Superhero-sunbaenim. Our eyes met across the room, and it was as if electricity had coursed through my nerves, blood rushing to the apples of my cheeks.

Memories of our almost kiss played in my head like on rewind.

I hastily looked away, wondering what on earth had happened, as Jungkook slowed to a stop in front of the bed.

I gave him a dismissive look, before pointedly picking up one of my books and flipping through it. I hardly wanted to talk to the guy now, especially when he’d gotten so mad at me for something that wasn’t my fault.

But the constant presence of Superhero-sunbaenim was made painfully aware in my mind, his silhouette just out of the borders of my vision, but I could feel his presence like a thorn stabbing me in my side.

“Why?” was the first word out of Jungkook’s mouth.

I froze, not expecting that question at all.

“Why what?” I kept my tone neutral, though the questions were dancing in my brain.

“Why did you take the beating?” came his voice again, more pained than ever.

I hesitated to answer.

“Why didn’t you fight back?” he asked again, pain even more evident.

I turned to look at him, and to my horror, the kid was shedding tears like raindrops.

“Why did you let him break your ribs? Why did you let them hurt you? Why didn’t you tell me he did that to you?” he was full out crying now, causing my fragile heart to panic. “Why would you just… Why?”

“I did it for you,” I felt my mouth move robotically, unable to process how much the boy was crying.

“Why?”

“Because you’re important to me?”

He let out a dry chuckle, the tears still falling.

“Youngmi, let’s break up.”

---

When Hoseok had picked Jungkook up from the classroom, he hadn’t expected to see a walking zombie.

The boy had moved like a snail, almost as if he didn’t want to make his way to the hospital. Hoseok couldn’t blame him. He didn’t want to go to the hospital either.

He hadn’t prepared himself to see the girl and explain himself and his actions.

But the sentence coming from Jungkook’s mouth was like a bucket of iced water, and Hoseok’s feelings suddenly seemed like the last of his worries.

“What?” came her disbelieving voice, tinged with panic.

Hoseok felt himself reeling at the sudden outburst from Jungkook, as the boy steeled himself, as if preparing to say more.

“Youngmi,” he said steadily, though there were tears still leaking from his eyes. “I don’t think you love me as a man.”

“W-what?” she said again, eyes wide. “Jungkook, you’ve got to be kidding me. I l-l-lo-like you.”

“You can’t even say I love you sincerely,” he smiled through his tears. “I love you, so much. But you don’t feel the same, do you?”

“W-what are you talking about?” she stuttered, clearly lost for words. “You’re my boyfriend, how can I not feel the same?”

“Youngmi, I’m sorry it seems like a shock to you,” he continued. “But this is goodbye for now. I still want to be your friend, but being with you now hurts me too much, and I need some time off from you.”

Jungkook steadily took steps towards the door, holding his breath as if he was afraid of crying, before running out through the door, silent sobs escaping his mouth.

The two of them stared wordlessly at his retreating back as Hoseok debilitated whether to stay with her or go after him.

“Go,” came her strangled voice, her eyes still wide with unknown emotion.

Obeying her command, he followed after Jungkook.

---

When Jungkook first confessed to her, some part of him knew it would end up in pain for him. But the rest of him was encouraged by her response towards him, by her blushes and her shyness…

Part of him wanted to beg her to take him back; plead that he’d change himself just for her and mould himself into the character that she so loved… But he knew it would be futile.

He would never be like him, no matter how hard he tried. He could never be as understanding, as patient, as loving as him.

And though he was bitter, he knew for sure that she belonged to him and not to Jungkook.

He cursed himself for being so blind and selfish. He’d hated Hoseok-hyung for taking her away from him.

He thought that he could replace the hole in her heart the way he had so well.

But the truth was, Jungkook and Youngmi were both puzzle pieces with holes on all sides. They would never be able to fit each other. But he was the puzzle piece with the jutting-out pieces. He was the one who could fix the both of them, form them into the complete puzzle.

And now, because of his selfish actions, he’d hurt the two people he held closest to him.

Hoseok-hyung, the boy who had stood up for him when no one else had. The boy who had dragged him into BTS, who had brought him into a place where he belonged when for so long he had been ostracised by others.

Lee Youngmi, the first girl to look at him for who he truly was, not as someone with a disability. She was the girl who brought him out of his shell, who held his hand when he needed her.

Jungkook had known from the start that Hoseok-hyung had always had feelings for the girl, but it wasn’t until the talk with him that Jungkook finally realised the magnitude of them. He hadn’t realised how willing the boy had been to hurt himself just to ensure that she was happy.

And he’d taken advantage of that, spitting on his feelings for Lee Youngmi, forcefully taking her for himself without sparing even a second thought for his hyung’s feelings.

And the older boy had just accepted it without fighting, thinking that the two of them would be happier that way.

He knew too, how much Hoseok-hyung meant to her.

 At first he had been fighting it, wanting her all for himself, but Jungkook realised…

She loved him.

And the truth was, Lee Youngmi had never looked at Jungkook in that manner.

She loved him like a mother hen loved her chicks. She loved him like a little brother, like a best friend but not as someone she would eventually marry and have kids with someday.

Jungkook had been so consumed by his jealousy of the older boy, by how true his feelings for her had been. And he had been selfish, wanting to keep Lee Youngmi all to himself when he knew all along that she didn’t belong to him or to anyone.

He knew now that the two of them would never be truly happy together. They were both too damaged to be able to properly heal with each other. He had been too distrustful of her, and she had been too uncompromising for him.

They would never have worked.

---

He jogged about the hospital, looking to and fro for the forlorn boy, until he finally found him curled up at the drink dispenser machine on the same floor.

“Hey,” he squatted, easing into the spot next to the boy.

Jungkook didn’t say a word.

“Wanna talk about it?” Hoseok probed.

“I-I-I’m sorry,” came his muffled voice. “I’m sorry, hyung…”

“What are you sorry for?” Hoseok asked carefully.

“I knew you loved her,” he said again, hiding his face in his sleeves. “I always knew, but I thought I could take your place in her heart. I was wrong, absolutely wrong.”

“I was happy that the two of you were together,” Hoseok smiled ruefully.

“That’s because you loved her, but I didn’t,” he turned to look at him with watery eyes. “I never took her feelings into consideration at all, from the start. And now I’ve hurt her even more.”

“She’ll forgive you if you take your words back,” Hoseok said.

“But I can’t…” he sniffled. “Because she doesn’t love me.”

Hoseok felt like he was running in circles again. Why was Jungkook so evasive?

“She loves you, hyung,” he looked at him dead in the eye. “She always has. She’s just too afraid to admit it. She’s only ever looked at me like a little brother, and I was so blind to that, but now I can see clearly. She trusts you with her life.”

Hoseok felt taken aback by Jungkook’s forthrightness as a deep heat descended upon his cheeks. Jungkook was just pained now, he wasn’t making any sense. Why would Youngmi love him?

“I know you’ve been hurting while I was thoughtlessly with her,” Jungkook stated simply. “I was ignorant and naïve, thinking that I could usurp your place in her heart. Whenever I was with her I wasn’t thinking of her, but I was thinking of ways to best you. And that’s not what a relationship should be. But you… you never stopped thinking of her, or of me. You always made your decision based on other people. But it’s time to be selfish, hyung. Do it. For my sake and for hers.”

“What do you want me to say, Jungkook?” Hoseok suddenly collapsed into his knees, feeling absolutely exhausted. “She’s good for you, you know that.”

“But you’re good for her,” Jungkook said surely. “I’m only going to hold her back, but with you she’ll develop and mature.”

Hoseok was at a loss of words.

“Don’t make my sacrifice for nothing, hyung,” he smiled through the tears in his eyes.

Was Jungkook… giving him permission to ask Youngmi out? But… the boy loved her. Wouldn’t this hurt him?

Hoseok deliberated for a while, not knowing what to think of this reveal of information.

Truth be told, he didn’t know what to feel. Was he supposed to be happy that they broke up so he had a chance with her, or was he supposed to be sad, because he wanted them to be happy together? Should he feel relieved that they were no longer together? Should he feel happy that Jungkook was so sure of her feelings for him?

“Let’s just go back, okay?” he finally said. “You have to explain what happened.”

Jungkook let out a reproachful sigh, looking at him with sad eyes before wordlessly walking away. Without a choice, Hoseok followed after him, his heart heavy with guilt.