I wrote 4 chapters before realising... I didn't like the direction of the story... I'm so upset... 

The light diffused through my eyelids, causing my eyes to flicker. I let out a small groan, trying to shield my eyes from the light but a weight on my hand disallowed me from doing so.

“Don’t move,” a familiar voice warned as the surface beneath me shifted.

I blinked my eyes open slowly. I was in the hospital again, surrounded by 6 boys, who were sitting around me in chairs. Jungkook was seated next to me, clenching my hand tightly in a fist as he stared at the ground.

“Why am I here?” I asked tiredly, looking at their faces in confusion.

“Are you feeling alright?” Jin-sunbaenim asked quietly, his eyes dark with worry.

“My ribs hurt,” I replied, wincing as I prodded my side. “But everything else is okay.”

“What happened?” he asked worriedly. “Taehyung rang us after he’d left saying he’d found you lying around in the streets near Yoongi’s house. Thank god I drove today, so we managed to get to the hospital quickly.”

“Did you get into a fight?” Jungkook interrupted, staring beseechingly into my eyes as if willing it not to be true.

I flicked mine away guiltily, as he let out a deep sigh.

“I thought you were done with all of that,” he said, disappointment clear in his voice. “You told me you would stop.”

I hesitated to reply, and the door burst open.

“How is she? Is she awake?” Superhero-sunbaenim dashed into the room, panting heavily before looking at me.

“Oh thank god,” he heaved a sigh of relief. “I was going crazy looking for you everywhere.”

“You knew about this?” Kim Namjoon-sunbaenim interrupted confusedly. “How?”

His eyes flicked to mine and I shook my head subtly.

“Long story,” he chuckled weakly before turning back to me. “What did the doctor say?”

“Two broken ribs, multiple bruises but otherwise okay,” Suga-sunbaenim reported lazily. “If nothing else is the matter, I’ll be heading home first. Jin, drive me?”

“I’ll come visit, dear,” Jin-sunbaenim said before grabbing his coat. “Come on Namjoon and Jimin, I’ll drop you guys home too.”

With a confused look between me and Superhero-sunbaenim, Kim Namjoon-sunbaenim and ParkJimin-sunbaenim followed behind Jin-sunbaenim and Suga-sunbaenim, leaving only Jungkook, Superhero-sunbaenim and V-oppa with me.

Superhero-sunbaenim collapsed into a chair next to the bed, looking over me worriedly.

“I’m fine now,” I rolled my eyes. “Didn’t you hear Suga-sunbaenim? The doctor said I was okay.”

“You broke your ribs, Youngmi,” Superhero-sunbaenim glared. “I don’t think that constitutes as okay. What on earth happened?”

I shot him a loaded glance, trying to hint that I rather not discuss this at the moment, and thankfully he understood, promptly dropping the subject.

“How did you find her?” he turned to V-oppa. “I looked everywhere.”

“Uh… I was… on the way home,” V-oppa looked away awkwardly, as if he was hiding something. “Anyway, I gotta go. It’s late. I’ll come visit, Mimi. Get well soon.”

He leaned over to ruffle my hair and I caught the acrid scent of cigarettes on his sleeve. My eyes widened.

V-oppa had been smoking.

I stored that snippet of information in my head, mind in overdrive as he exited the room. Since when did V-oppa smoke? What was he hiding?

“Why did you fight?” Jungkook asked quietly, interrupting my train of thought.

Because of you, I heard my inner voice reply, but I repressed it.

“Look, don’t delve into things you don’t wanna know,” I shot back sharply but feeling the prick of guilt in my chest. “You should already know my nature. A leopard doesn’t change its spots, Jungkook.”

“You told me you’d changed,” his eyes were liquid. “You said it yourself that you didn’t want to do it anymore. How can you just go back on your word?”

“Look, I’ve been in a gang for five years, ever since I finished elementary,” I snapped brusquely. “I get into fights. Get over it.”

“Did you hurt that other person too?” he asked. “Like you hurt me?”

I felt a stab of hurt. I had taken the beating to protect him.

“I thought you said you’d forgiven me.”

There was a pregnant pause as he refused to look at me.

 “I’m going home,” Jungkook growled out, grabbing his coat and exiting the room, not even looking back.

I felt tears prick the back of my eyes as I watched him go.

“Hey,” Superhero-sunbaenim held onto my arm reassuringly. “I’ll talk to him.”

“… Thanks,” I managed a weak smile.

“There’s something more to what just happened, is there?” he shot me a glance.

I hesitated to reply.

“Tell me when you’re ready,” he shot me a reassuring grin before ruffling my hair. “Cheer up. I’ll deal with Jungkook. He’s just being sensitive.”

I nodded my head, but the tears kept building up, causing pain behind my eyes and my throat to get choked.

“I’ll go now then,” he made a move towards the door, when I shot my arm out and grabbed him by the sleeve.

“Stay,” I choked out, the exhaustion of the day finally overcoming me and the tears finally leaking out.

He hesitated a moment before sitting back down awkwardly. I curled up into a ball, ignoring the excruciating pain in my sides and openly cried, hiding my face into my lap.

Jungkook fighting with me over dumb insecure . Superhero-sunbaenim ignoring me for goodness knows what reason. Kim Minho unleashing his lackeys on me and leaving me with two broken ribs. Jungkook being disappointed in me for something I didn’t do on purpose.

I cried my heart out, releasing the whole day’s worth of stress and pain into the blankets.

And then I felt a warm hand ghosting up my shoulder, before I was pushed from my blanket into Superhero-sunbaenim’s chest, his arms caging me protectively.

I closed my eyes and breathed in his familiar scent, willing myself to calm down as my energy sapped. I melted against him, his strong arms feeling like the walls of my old closet where I used to hide with my brothers when my father was drunk.

I felt so at home with him, it was almost like I belonged in his arms. I shook my head, cries stopping abruptly as I wondered why on earth I would think like that.

He was just my best friend, that’s all.

He didn’t seem to notice as he held me silently, chin resting on the top of my head reassuringly.

“You okay?” he finally let out as I took a few heaving breaths to calm myself down and possibly forget about what I just wondered.

Not trusting myself to answer, I nodded my head, rubbing my face into his muscled chest. He responded with an even tighter hug, his pointed chin digging into the top of my head, but it was surprisingly comfortable.

“… Are you disappointed in me too?” I mumbled, my voice muffled by his chest.

“To be honest,” he took a breath. “I am. I thought you’d changed for the better.”

I felt my heart sink even further. Even Superhero-sunbaenim thought I was an .

“But I know you have better control over yourself than this, and you couldn’t have done it without reason. And I’m going to wait until you tell me that reason,” he continued.

I felt a smile of relief blossom onto my face as it hid buried in his chest.

His absolute trust in me was rather pleasing and comforting. It definitely wasn’t like Jungkook, who couldn’t even trust me to not cheat on him…

I shook my head. What was I doing, comparing my boyfriend to my best friend? That was ridiculous. First the comment that I belonged in his arms and now this?

What was happening?

“You look like a cat’s got your tongue,” he joked.

I flushed, trying to ignore the barrage of weird thoughts, and instead focused my mind onto Kim Minho and his gang of friends.

Now that he’d done it once, he would definitely do it again. And maybe he wouldn’t even leave much of me to scrape off the pavement this time.

Jungkook did not deserve to be treated like I had. I was the one who had bullied Kim Minho, not Jungkook. In fact, the poor boy hadn’t done anything to the guy, he’d only irked him the first time. I had been the one directly involved with him, the one who had forced him to eat dog food. Jungkook hadn’t done anything at all.

He was innocent, while I was marked with sin. And if I loved him, this was my rightful punishment, if only to protect my loved one.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed deeply, hanging my head in shame. “I should tell you everything.”

“You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable,” he said, placing a rough hand on mine reassuringly.

“No, I have to,” I felt the tears bubble again. “I deserved to be hit.”

The hold on my hand suddenly tightened.

“Was it your dad?” the voice was quiet but deadly. “There’s no such thing as being deserving of abuse.”

“No, it was Kim Minho, my classmate,” I breathed out as the boy swore suddenly, standing up and kicking his chair.

I stared, awed by his anger as he paced around the room, trying to get a handle on his emotions. He made his way to the wall, punching it several times in his fury.

I’d only ever seen this side of him once, when I first told him about my father. And it was kind of terrifying to see it again, if I had to be honest. I sat in my quaking boots as he cursed loudly, attacking anything that came into close contact with him.

He had quite the temper.

Finally, he cooled off enough to right his chair before slumping into it tiredly.

“Why?” he held his head in his hands. “Why did he do it?”

“Jungkook,” I replied meekly, still intimidated by his anger. “He… Kim Minho was bullying him on the first day of school and I humiliated him in front of everyone. I treated him like a dog, and I guess he took a lot of offence to it. He’s been… watching us ever since and finally found his chance today, when I got lost on the way to Suga-sunbaenim’s house. He must have been following me… I couldn’t fight back. He threatened to beat Jungkook up had I even lifted a finger. I had no choice.

His breathing hitched and I watched in terrible fascination as teardrops started to fall.

“I’m so useless,” he chuckled bitterly. “I can’t ever protect anyone I care about.”

“Don’t be a ing idiot,” I snapped brusquely, returning to my old self. “You couldn’t have done anything. There were seven, eight guys in total. You wouldn’t have stood a chance.”

“But still!” he clenched his fists white. “But still…”

He directed a deathly glare at the bandages currently wrapped around my injuries.

“Look, what’s happened has happened. I deserved what had been coming to me. I’ve been such an for so long a period of my life that it’s only right that karma pays me back like this.”

“It’s not right!” he said defeatedly.

“I deserve it,” I hung my head lowly. “I really do. I’ve been such an my entire life, sunbaenim. And I had to do it to protect Jungkook.”

“You do not deserve this sort of treatment, alright Youngmi?” the boy flared up. “No one deserves to be hit! You are a human being with rights, and that entails not being beaten up! Jungkook definitely wouldn’t appreciate you doing this.”

I stared at him, awed as he heaved for breath, his eyes flashing lightning.

 “You have to tell Jungkook,” he said sternly. “Youngmi, it’s not fair that you’re hiding it from him. And he won’t appreciate you lying to him either.”

I felt my eyebrows furrow.

Did I really have to tell him? He’d just be even more worried about me and I didn’t need him to do that. He had enough on his plate.

“Yes, you have to,” he said as if reading my mind. “A relationship is about honesty with each other. Talk to him tomorrow.”

“… Okay,” I sighed tiredly, realising the boy had a point, before chuckling. “I’ve missed this.”

“Hm?” came his answer as he stared at me quizzically, wondering what on earth I was talking about.

“You and me,” I confessed. “I’ve missed you.”

Immediately he flushed a bright red, flicking his eyes away in embarrassment.

It was kinda cute.

What did I just say?

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

“You’re a ing ,” I frowned, pushing the though away as he switched his eyes back at me, shocked.

 “You were acting weird around me,” I glared. “You seemed like you didn’t even want to talk to me anymore, let alone be my friend. And it hurt, you ing . You said you’d be there for me, and all of a sudden when I start dating Jungkook you stop talking to me? Am I worth nothing to you? So I’m only cool to be friends with when I have nobody, but when I have Jungkook suddenly I’m not worth to talking to?”

There was a pregnant pause as the boy, obviously guilty as , stared at the ground silently. I spent that time glaring holes into his frame.

“It’s not what you think,” he finally let out. “It definitely isn’t your fault or anything… I just felt that I wasn’t needed or wanted anymore, now that you have Jungkook.”

I felt my jaw drop open.

“Are you a ing idiot?” I spoke. “All this time… you thought you weren’t needed? You’re my first friend, my best! Why on earth would I not want or need you, just because I’m dating someone now? You’re like… one of the most important people in my life. I would never not want you.”

I finished my rant with a light tap to his face with my hand, a play-slap if you will, as his eyes started flaming intensely.

“You… you’re like…”

My insides melted as his fiery eyes met mine. The words died away, the intensity turned up to a thousand.

It suddenly felt like the temperature had gone up ten degrees as the back of my throat turned dry.

Like water, like oxygen, like a missing piece in my heart.

He hesitantly reached out a hand to brush a piece of hair away from my face.

My breathing hitched as his rough fingertips whispered past my cheek. It felt like his eyes were pools of pain, and I was drowning in their depth. The flames in his eyes my own, burning them yet drawing them deeper.

His touch was burning, his calloused fingertips leaving blazing trails in its wake.

I felt frozen in his gaze as he leaned in closer, eyes closing. Involuntarily, I felt mine close too, my lips tingling as a sense of sick anticipation bubbled in my stomach.

And then I felt his forehead knock onto mine, causing both of us to yelp in pain.

He jumped back, laughing throatily as he massaged his forehead, wincing. I did the same, chuckling nervously, an involuntary blush rising to my cheeks.

“Wow would you look at the time it’s nearing 12 midnight I gotta go bye!”

And with that, he zoomed out of the room, almost leaving a trail of dust behind.

I let my head drop into my hands as the clock ticked, but my mind wasn’t focused on that.

Why was my heart beating so fast?

Why was my pulse skyrocketing?

Why did my lips feel tingly?

Why… why had I wanted something to happen? For him to… kiss me?

I shook my head from side to side. No, I was mistaken. I didn’t want him to kiss me. I probably wanted him to punch me, or maybe there had been excessive blood flow and nervous stimulation due to Kim Minho’s lackey’s punch to the face just now, so I was feeling some aftereffects. Or perhaps it was the sedatives that they had injected me with when they set my bones back into place that had caused all of those clinical signs.

I had a boyfriend anyway.

A boyfriend named Jeon Jungkook.

Whom I loved.

I ignored the racing in my heart and tucked myself in, before turning out the light.

---

He punched the wall outside, collapsing into a heap outside the hospital.

He’d almost done it. He’d almost ruined the friendship between him and Jungkook. He’d almost kissed Lee Youngmi, whom he would like to remind himself, was Jungkook’s girlfriend, and definitely not anyone he was supposed to touch, let alone kiss and-

The heat of the moment had gotten to him. The dark look in her eyes, the vulnerability of that tiny body wrapped in bandages, the stray hair brushing against her nose as those pink lips pouted slightly, her eyebrows furrowing…

She was Jungkook’s girlfriend. Jungkook’s property.

He couldn’t touch her. He wouldn’t touch her. He had a duty as a friend to Jungkook and to Youngmi, to not play with their feelings, to not hurt the both of them.

He grit his teeth in frustration, feeling the heartache burn harder as one sentence played in his head over and over.

When I closed my eyes, she closed hers too.

Kicking a can, he set off on the way home, ignoring the niggling voice in his mind.

It took me literally so long to write this fml 

WHAT'S HAPPENING BTW HOSEOK AND YOUNGMI OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO