I'm back and I've written 3 chapters so the next few weeks should be updating smoothly!

His right foot kicked outward as he pulled his arms to the left in beat to the music. He leapt upwards in time with the beat, the thump of the music drowning out the menacing voices in his head.

I can’t believe you almost kissed your best friend’s girlfriend.

He ignored the sharp arrow piercing his heart as he squatted, pulling his weight forward as he lurched to the right, spinning on his hands.

All those times you hugged her and touched her, don’t you feel guilty?

He felt the sweat roll down his back as he launched back onto his feet just as the music ended, allowing the cacophony of voices to start screaming again.

Cheater.

Third party.

You’re hurting him.

You’re a monster.

He’s already dealt with enough, yet you’re causing him even more pain.

J-Hope let out a scream of helplessness, squatting onto the ground and clutching his ears in pain. The turbulent emotions of pent up guilt, of hidden desire for his best friend’s girlfriend swirled in the pit of his belly as he crouched on the ground, trying to block out his emotions.

He saw a pair of feet walk up to him and squat to the ground, Suga-hyung’s concerned face angling into his vision.

J-Hope plucked out his earphones, showing the man a guilty grin as he glanced up at the clock.

Two in the morning.

“What the hell are you still doing here?” the man asked brusquely, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Everyone went home hours ago.”

“I had to stay,” he confessed.

“The last time you stayed this late was when your girlfriend left you,” Suga-hyung raised his eyebrow drily. “What’s up?”

Hoseok felt the words bubbling out of his throat.

He tried to kiss Jungkook’s girlfriend.

He kept hugging her and doing all sorts of things that mere friends didn’t do to her when she was someone else’s.

He was in love with her, so deeply in love with her.

He hated the fact that Jungkook was dating her.

He hated it when Jungkook made her smile.

He hated it when she shot Jungkook that special grin she reserved just for him when she thought no one was looking.

He hated it when she shot him a grin and his heart would explode into fireworks before fizzling out when he remembered that she was taken.

He wanted her for himself.

He wanted to rub his nose in her hair, to feel her small soft hands caressing the sides of his face, to breathe in her scent as he held her tight…

But he just shot the man a pained smile.

“I’m fine,” the boy stated shortly, wiping the remnants of sweat from his brow. “I’m always fine.”

Suga-hyung snorted.

“It’s two ing AM in the morning, Hoseok,” he drawled sarcastically. “I think we both know something’s up. Something’s been up ever since the day Lee Youngmi got hospitalised.”

His heart dropped to his feet as the man sized him up, eyeing him up and down.

 “What happened between the two of you?” the man asked. “It’s been two weeks since she got hospitalised and you haven’t visited her once. Even I’ve visited her, but neither you or Jungkook have. I know Jungkook’s pissed at her, but I thought you both were besties or some like that.”

“Yeah, besties,” the boy couldn’t help but snort sarcastically

The man’s eyes widened in recognition as a sly smirk made its way onto his face.

“Besties, but one likes the other,” Suga-hyung hummed, causing J-Hope’s face to explode into red. “I guess it’s of no concern to you that she’s Jungkook’s then? Didn’t know you were so sneaky.”

“Hey!” J-Hope glared at him. “It’s not that I don’t care that she’s Jungkook’s, alright. I mean, Jungkook’s improved by leaps and bounds ever since they’ve gotten together. Like, he’s so good with girls now. And not to mention, Youngmi’s become so much happier ever since she got together with him. My happiness doesn’t matter as long as the both of them are happy.”

“You’re hurting yourself, Hoseok,” Suga-hyung sighed deeply. “You really need to tell her how you feel about her.”

“I can’t sacrifice our friendship,” J-Hope said miserably. “What if we’re never friends again?”

“Who says you wouldn’t be friends anymore?” he asked. “If anything, I’m sure she’ll appreciate you being honest with her. I don’t think she likes being lied to.”

J-Hope almost let out a bitter laugh as he mulled over the very same words he had told Youngmi. Relationships were built on honesty, nobody liked being lied to.

And yet here he was, lying to her as easily as turning on a tap. And it ing hurt.

Suga-hyung sighed and stood up from his squatting position.

“I’ll fetch you home. You better have a good think about this.”

He left J-Hope on the floor, lost in his thoughts as he went to change.

---

In my half-awake state, I heard the door creak open.

Footsteps neared my bed.

The warm hand crept up my forehead again, brushing away my bangs. The voice started singing softly, bringing my locks of hair behind my ear.

“Youngie, I love you,” the voice whispered as I felt the ache in my heart multiply tenfold.

I hadn’t heard that name in ten years.

It felt like I was drowning in the twilight zone, the place between reality and dreamland.

Finally, the warm presence retreated, the footsteps tapping away quietly.

My eyes blinked open blearily as I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

Was it a dream?

---

Jungkook tossed in his bed, wondering for the life of him why the tenth night in a row, his sleeping pills had not worked.

He obviously knew why, of course.

His girlfriend had been running in his mind, but not in a good way.

He couldn’t believe how she’d betrayed him. How could she have the heart to pick fights again, when she had so clearly told him that she was over that period?

He thought they had made a promise to each other to leave their past behind and start as two new people when she agreed to date him, but she had clearly gone back on that unsaid promise. Who was it this time who had suffered her wrath? Had the person also been innocent?

How could she do this to him? He thought she would have grown past it by now, but she was still up to her old ways of bullying and making people feel so small.

He couldn’t believe that the old her was back. The one who had terrorised him and made him feel like complete crap.

And yet, something didn’t add up.

Why on earth of all days would she revert back on that very day that he hadn’t been with her?

It was kinda fishy, Jungkook had to admit. They had one fight and suddenly she went back to her old self?

Suddenly Jungkook felt a little guilty.

Could it have been due to him having that fight with her that she lashed out on someone else because she couldn’t control her emotions?

Jungkook gulped guiltily, feeling a sudden sick sense of realisation that maybe she hadn’t been to blame.

After all, he had been overly cautious about her relationship with Hoseok-hyung, and the guy had told him firmly that they had nothing romantic between each other. He’d been doubting her again…

And he was doubting her now.

And not to mention… Lee Youngmi was a formidable fighter, known throughout the entire region. She struck fear into even the coldest iljin. Even Jungkook knew he had never seen her at her worst, and neither did he want to.

 But if she was so great, how had she ended up with such terrible injuries? Two broken ribs weren’t a joke, and he highly doubted the girl would have sustained such injuries had she fought normally. Not to mention, her connections with the most established gang in Seoul would have garnered her at least a few other co-fighters.

But why on earth hadn’t she been fighting at her full strength then?

What was going on?

---

It had been almost two weeks since I’d entered the hospital, with my ribs healing up nicely. I had done a couple of X-rays and was stuck in a half body cast for a while, but I could hardly care less.

I was living the golden life here.

I had quality food for once that hadn’t been cooked by me, which was great. The scenery wasn’t bad, which was also great. I had my very own personal nurse, Nurse Jungmi, who was great at caring for me and was really nice too, but I’ll go into that later. I got quality visits from friends, which was another great thing.

Mirae came pretty often with stacks of textbooks under her arm, chattering away as I pored through them. She kept me updated on what was going on in school, which allowed me to see what had happened.

Apparently Kim Minho was the new iljin in school, which was news to me. He had kept to his promise of not hurting Jungkook, thank God for that. I expect he knew that if he ever went back on that, his would be the first one Zico-oppa beat.

Bangtan came pretty often too.

Seokjin-sunbaenim (yes, we’re on first name basis now) came bearing gifts of delicious homemade snacks, often tailored to what the doctor required me to eat, which was super cool of him. He was really parental too, fussing over my injuries like a concerned mother hen. It made me act annoyed but deep inside, I loved the attention.

I had also picked up chess with Namjoon-sunbaenim, who beat me coolly every goddamn time. It was fascinating to finally lose at something for once, and I strived hard to beat his , only to fail again and again. But it was good brain exercise, and he was pretty well-matched with me in terms of intelligence, which was so great because I could finally have conversations with someone who wasn’t of lower intellect.

Yoongi-sunbaenim and I were still a little frosty, but I’d gotten used to calling him by his first name, just like he had gotten used to calling me… Stumpy. It was a nickname that had unfortunately caught on with him for some reason, though I wasn’t that much shorter than him. I think it’s because he liked the fact that I hated the nickname.

Jimin-sunbaenm and I had also gotten closer. A few times he slipped up and would ask me sheepishly about Mirae, but I could excuse the poor kid’s curiosity. I mean, it had been a major relationship for the both of them. What I couldn’t understand was why he would bristle every time I mentioned her new boyfriend of the week. I mean, they’d been broken up for more than two years now, you’d think he’d have gotten over her by then, but nope.

However, there were two, very notable absences from the guestlist.

The first and foremost was obviously my boyfriend, Jungkook. I knew from smatterings of what the others said that they’d been busy trying to increase their audience size (now it was 10, and 7 of them were girls!), and Jungkook had been trying to accommodate himself to that new number (minus me of course). But still, it felt like a stab through the heart wondering about why he hadn’t visited.

Well, I knew the obvious reason. The boy was still pissed at me for getting into a fight with Kim Minho. It really , knowing that he blamed me for it, when I’d done it for his own good, and I couldn’t bring myself to text him.

But I had to admit that some part of me actually felt a little relieved that he hadn’t visited yet. I was guilty as about what had happened between Superhero-sunbaenim and me.

Superhero-sunbaenim.

An unquenchable bubble of sick apprehension would rise in my throat whenever my thoughts shifted to him. I missed him so much. I missed his presence, his homey piney scent, his goofy laughter, his warm big hands that would envelop mine comfortably, the way his eyes would crinkle when he smiled…

I missed him like a desert missed the rain.

It was kind of embarrassing talking about him like this, but the bastard had wormed his way into my heart, and he was my best friend after all.

Except best friends don’t almost kiss each other.

And just like every time the memory of his cracked lips flashed by in my head, I blushed a bright red, my face heating up as I remembered the thud of my heart.

I couldn’t seem to understand the magnetic feeling I felt towards him.

I didn’t love him that way. I couldn’t love him that way, seeing as I had a boyfriend whom I’d been dating for almost three months now.

The way I felt towards Superhero-sunbaenim wasn’t romantic love, I would think.

He was one of the saving graces of my life. He’d brought light into my life, and he became one of the light sources in my life. It brought a smile to my face whenever he was concerned, and he was one of the few joys that I truly appreciated. He was my knight in shining armour.

But despite all that, he didn’t give me butterflies the way Jungkook did. I mean, there was some reaction I guess. Wasn’t it normal to feel slightly weird when a guy hugged you or held your hand? Like it was perfectly understandable to feel palpitations and electricity zooming through my nerves whenever Superhero-sunbaenim would do things like that, but we were just friends.

Somehow thinking about our completely platonic friendship caused a frown to make its way onto my face.

Even if I did like him (which I definitely didn’t), I couldn’t sacrifice our friendship like that. He was way too important to me for me to waste on frivolous romantic feelings.

And like I had to keep reminding myself, I had a boyfriend already, one that I really liked even if he got on my nerves sometimes.

Jungkook was precious to me, and I couldn’t bring myself to hurt him. I had to protect him from being hurt, so how could I be the one to hurt him instead?

---

Jungkook shuffled past his classmates, the dark rings under his eyes giving away the fact that he had had no sleep.

“It isn’t like you to be late,” Mirae-ssi remarked as he slid into his seat, immediately covering his head with his arms.

He grunted tiredly, the issue with Lee Youngmi imprinted so permanently on his mind that he forgot to be self-conscious around the girl.

“You know, I didn’t think it but I kinda miss Lee Youngmi,” Lee Seokmin-ssi spoke to Kim Mingyu-ssi, sliding into the seat in front of Jungkook.

He stiffened at the mention of his girlfriend’s name, feelings of doubt and wariness flowing back into him.

“Yeah, Minho is so much worse than her,” Kim Mingyu-ssi snorted. “I mean, the girl was terrifying, but he’s downright vicious!”

Jungkook sighed, drifting off from their conversation.

“Yeah, I heard he’s the one who put her in the hospital,” Lee Seokmin mentioned, causing Jungkook to suddenly shoot his head up.

“S-s-sorry?” he interrupted them midconversation. “Did you say that Kim Minho was the one who put her into the hospital?”

“Gee Jungkook, isn’t she your girlfriend? You should be the one to tell us, not me," Lee Seokmin quirked his eyebrow. “Anyway, it’s just a rumour, but I heard he got his gang to corner her somewhere and beat her senseless. He’s been boasting about it to all his lackeys in school.”

Lee Youngmi had been fighting with Kim Minho?

It didn’t make sense. Why on earth would Kim Minho do something like that?

Unless…

Jungkook slammed his hands on the table, shocking the two boys. He slid his chair backwards before racing out of the classroom, ignoring the confused looks the two guys were giving him.

---

You need to tell her.

Did he really have to?

Hoseok sighed miserably, doodling on his notebook as the other classmates shot him worried looks.

“Bro, you’ve been acting weird,” Namjoon shifted his chair to face Hoseok. “You okay?”

Time for the act, again.

“Yeah, I’m fine!” Hoseok said faux-cheerily, plastering a smile on his face.

But it looked like he’d used the façade a little too much, because there were cracks showing through it.

“You don’t look very fine,” Namjoon frowned doubtfully. “I’m sick of you hurting yourself, Hoseok. What’s up between the three of you?”

Hoseok groaned internally. Did he really need someone giving him advice about Youngmi and Jungkook again?

“Look, I’m happy that she’s happy, alright?” he said tiredly, slumping back onto the table, leaning his forehead onto his arms. “She and Jungkook belong together. Jungkook can finally tolerate more than one girl in his life and she has something to distract her from her life. Leave it, okay?”

“I was just trying to help,” Namjoon said, looking a little hurt.

“Well, I don’t need it,” Hoseok snapped uncharacteristically, glaring at the ash-headed boy.

Namjoon bit back a retort as the door slammed open.

Both boys jumped, flicking their eyes towards the classroom door.

Jungkook stood there purposefully, heaving for breath, his arms holding the doors open. The rest of the class murmured curiously, wondering who the dongsaeng was.

“Tell me the truth, Hoseok-hyung,” Jungkook pleaded, making his way to the two of them.

“Huh?” Hoseok uttered in confusion as the boy slowed to a stop in front of their joined desks.

“About Lee Youngmi,” Jungkook said. “Is it true? That Kim Minho did it?”

Hoseok felt his soul evaporate.

He nodded mutely. How had Jungkook found out…?

“So it’s true,” Jungkook collapsed onto the ground onto his knees.

Hoseok jumped out of his seat, running over to help the boy up. As Hoseok gripped his arm, the kid began to laugh bitterly.

“All this time I’d been blaming her when the real person to blame was me,” he chuckled darkly, pushing himself to his feet.

“She did it for you,” Hoseok said. “It’s not anyone’s fault okay? Kim Minho is a .”

“Why does she always have to protect me?” Jungkook crumpled into Hoseok’s arms, beating his fists weakly on the other boy’s chest.

Hoseok stood quietly as the boy started to sob in frustration, his punches getting weaker and weaker.

“Why can’t I protect her for once?” Jungkook cried, hiding his face into Hoseok’s shoulder. “Like you. You always protect her. S-she calls you her knight.”

Hoseok felt his cheeks heat up involuntarily at how fondly the girl thought about him, but he couldn’t dispel the awkward tension in him as Jungkook sobbed into his chest.

“I’m just a damsel in distress,” Jungkook's voice was muffled by the sobs choking his throat and by Hoseok’s rapidly wetting shirt.

“Jungkook, you need to talk to her,” Namjoon interrupted, sending a purposeful glance to Hoseok. “Hoseok will accompany you, okay?”

Hoseok hid a sigh. He knew Namjoon wanted him to talk to her as well.

Jungkook’s sobs quietened as he nodded his head dismally. Hoseok spared a glance at the poor kid, guilt eating at his heart again.

How could he be in love with this boy’s girlfriend and rip away the only shred of happiness he’d ever had in his life?

“Okay,” Jungkook finally murmured, wiping his eyes with his hands. “I’ll meet you after school, hyung.”

“Do you need us to bring you back to your classroom?” Namjoon asked kindly as the younger boy shook his head stubbornly before bowing to them and leaving the classroom.

As Hoseok watched the boy leave, he wondered to himself dismally how he was going to face Lee Youngmi with Jungkook around.

something big is gonna happen uhuhuhuhu