The day Joshua confessed to me that he is a vampire was the most revelational part of my life. Who could’ve thought a vampire does really exist in the 21st century?

The day Joshua confessed his love to me was the most shocking part of my life. That there’s someone like him who will put his interest on me. (Well I’m pretty beautiful so that’s given XD)

The day Joshua and me was bounded was the most hardest choice I ever made in my whole life. I mean being bounded with him, I know I need to be with him forever, I already know that I need to spend my entire life just to please him. I hate the consequences, yet I still did the ritual, because not seeing Joshua anymore and imagining a life without him made my heart ache. But of course I wouldn’t say that to him, I wouldn’t admit because that time I’m still in the stage of great denial.

The day Joshua held me from the first time was the most warmest feeling I ever felt. When he put his arms around me or when he is just standing near me, I always felt blissful that I don’t even want to let go but I’m too stubborn to give in with my own desires.

The day I felt Joshua’s presence for the first time was the most enchanting feeling I ever had. It’s so magical that I want to always know if he’s happy, if he’s content or if he’s hurting. But I didn’t show him those desires, and instead I keep on pushing him away.

The day Joshua told me that he doesn’t want me to feel burdened or hurt just because I’m being with him, was the most painful words I ever heard. Somehow, deep in my heart I wanted Joshua to be self-fish, I want him to be authoritative, I want him to be possessive towards me. I want to hear him say that no matter how much I push him away he won’t let go because he loves me. Somehow, I’m waiting for those words.

The day I decided to leave Joshua was the most self-fish decision I ever made. I was scared of the fact that I’m not the same person I am before, that I let someone get what they want from me. I’m scared of the fact that I will be helpless without Joshua by my side, that I can’t go on without him, I don’t want to live like that, the real Jeonghan doesn’t need anyone to depend on.

The day I decided to accept the reality that I love Joshua was the most happiest day of my life. All the doubts, all the hesitation, all the times that I held back. There will be no more times like that because I love him. And that’s the truth.

I was so happy but then I thought that it’s too late for us. I thought he died. But then.

“Jeonghan-ah. Don’t cry.”

“Can you say that again?”

How can this man love me so much?

That he’s about to die but he’s still thinking of me. Don’t cry? I’m crying because of you, because I don’t want you to leave me. Even his life is in danger he still doesn’t want me to see hurting. That’s Joshua, and I love him.

When I opened my eyes, the sun rays illuminate my bed room too much that it hurts my eyes. I slowly rise up and cover my eyes using my hands. I stood up from the bed, yawned and stretch my arms. I still feel weak.

I cares my chest carefully and look at the door. My chest is still aching, and every morning I wake up, I’m hoping that someone will barge in to that door with a smile in his face, run towards me and hug me. I looked at the floor. I think that won’t happen today either.

It’s been a week since that incident and Joshua is still not waking up. After he opened his eyes and ask me to repeat the words  I said to him, he suddenly loss his consciousness again.

I sighed deeply as I head to my cabinet to change my clothes. After changing I went out of the room, my eyes automatically landing on Joshua’s separate room. Beneath the door  I can see blue lights coming out from it.

After Joshua loss his consciousness that day, the witches tried their best to heal Joshua and help him regain his strength back again. Now, this is the 7th day of their staying in our house. I want to open the door, see if Joshua is doing fine, but the last time I checked on him, seeing him lying helplessly like that, it tortures me, thinking that it is actually my fault he became like that.

Mingyu is having the same treatment as Joshua, Wonwoo is taking care of him and never left his side. I did a terrible thing to Mingyu, and now I don’t know if he can regain his strength back. The first time I saw Mingyu after what happened to Joshua, I broke down in front of him and cried until I fainted. Mingyu’s wings are no longer black but as white as the snow, his hair changed its color as well, from black to platinum grey. Seeing him like that, I want to kill myself for doing such a terrible thing.

Why does Mingyu needs to suffer because of my selfishness? They are suffering right now because of me, and in fact I don’t have the right to stay by their side. But I won’t leave them, I will never leave them again.

Suddenly, the door opened lightly and a witch came out. “Jeonghan.”

I placed the tea pot in the table and pour some in Faye’s cup. She smiled at me and took a sip. She sighed in relief.  I sat down to the opposite side of the table so I’m facing her. underneath her eyes there’s a round dark circle, they’ve been doing some kind of spells to Joshua that it also drains them. This people are doing their best and getting tired because of my fault.

“Joshua doesn’t want to see you like that.” She said to me.

I laughed weakly. “You think so?”

She reach out her hands to cares mine. “Joshua will be fine. After all, the moon gave him another chance and he’s getting better and better each passing day.”

Hearing those words I should be really glad, but I’m not. I’m scared. I don’t even know what to say to Joshua when he wakes up, I don’t know if I can look him in the eyes.

She said Joshua was getting better and better. But it’s already 2 weeks and he’s still not opening his eyes. I miss him so badly. I want to hug him. I want to kiss him. I want burry my nose in the crook of his neck, I want to feel his warm body to mine. I want to say him the words I didn’t get to say. How much I care for him, how much I think of him, how much I love him, how much I want to hug him.

I miss him so bad.

My phone vibrates and when I saw who’s caller, I smiled lightly. “Hyung?”

“Jeonghan-ah? Why are you not here in your house?” He asked. Probably he and Sehun hyung checked Joshua today. “I’m in the school right now.”

“Wae? Joshua is more important than school, why did you leave his side?”

There’s pang of pain I felt in my chest after hearing those words. I grip my phone tightly and bit my lower lip so suppress my emotion. “I have to. If I don’t take notes then we will be late in our subjects.”  I said in a joking tone.

What a perfect lie. I went to school today cause I want to break from my guilt feelings that’s slowly killing me each passing day.

But then again. All I keep doing is running away.

“I see I see. Don’t worry, we will not leave Joshua side until you’re not ho-“ Luhan hyung didn’t finished  his words. I heard that Sehun hyung called him and so the call ended.

I sighed and turn my back to lean in the wall. I look up in to the sky, then suddenly.. .

I felt my heart throb so loud, and my soul felt like it’s gonna separate from my body. My knees suddenly loss it’s strength and I found my-self already kneeling in the ground. What’s happening?

AUTHOR’S POV

Jeonghan suddenly felt something weird in his body. He is kneeling in to the ground and keep on chasing his breath. Another throb of her heart and another feeling of his soul coming out from his body. His head suddenly looked at the sky and his eyes widened until his black eyes slowly turned into blue.

The same color when he was abounded to Jos