Minseok has always been an early riser. He would get up early often as a child, hoping to have breakfast with his mother and stepfather before they left for work. And though that particular motivation for getting up early was gone, Minseok finds he still enjoys rising with the sun.

Today though, Minseok is having a particularly hard time getting out of bed. The sun has risen, that much is clear; from the bit of light shining in his face, but Minseok is so warm and comfortable his body refuses to move.

Minseok hasn't slept so well in a long time. He tries to get at least a rough six hours of sleep a night, but he is often plagued by nightmares, and cranky next door old ladies. Minseok can't remember the last time he has awoken actually feeling rested. (Which has probably contributed greatly to his caffeine addiction.)

Minseok lets out a small sigh, sleep already clouding over his already foggy morning brain and pulling him under, he will not be getting up just yet it seems. He turns his face back into the crook of Luhan's neck, shielding his eyes from the sunlight, and lets himself drift off again.

Luhan's has never been much of a morning person. As a child, his mother would often have to physically drag him out of bed. (Such occurrences became less and less frequent the more he grew, to the relief of his poor mother.) After starting high school Luhan started getting up on his own, a little later than preferred by his parents and teachers, and not at all in a good mood. 
Though after Luhan met Minseok, getting up stopped being such a difficult thing to do.

Luhan wakes up slowly; consciousness trickling in at a snails pace. He becomes aware of the light coming in through the windows on the ground floor, of hints of cinnamon tickling his nose, and warm breaths against his neck. 
'Minseok'
Luhan begins to remember what happened the night before, and his face flushed slightly. 
He remembers Minseok telling him about his family, and how he cried, and what embarrassing things he said before they fell asleep. 
The: I like you. 
Luhan covers his face with the arm Minseok is not currently using as a pillow, and groans softly. 
'How embarrassing!'
Minseok makes a small sleepy noise, and Luhan immediate stops his fussing. He does not want Minseok to wake up right now. 
Luhan starts to panic, thinking about how awkward he probably made things.

'He probably thought I meant it in a friendly, platonic way. Which I did. Totally. We're friends. Of course I like him, he's my best friend... 
Which is why I'm letting him cuddle with me in his sleep. I'm totally not enjoying this more than I should.'
He looks down at the sleeping angel in his arms, and let's out a quiet sigh. 
'Minseok is right... I'm a really bad liar.'

With another sigh, and great reluctance, Luhan extracts himself from Minseok's hold. 
Luhan thinks he might make some breakfast, Minseok might wake up to that better than in his arms.

Minseok wakes again not much later, but this time alone. He notices the difference instantly; and a hollow feeling in Minseok pulses faintly. It's one he recognizes immediately, one he's already used to.  Minseok rolls over and shoves his face in the softness of his pillows with a groan.

Minseok concentrates on his breathing for a while, pushing the loneliness away, when he notices something. Minseok takes a deep breath--his pillows smell of pine and rain. 
'Luhan'
Minseok relaxes and warmth fills his chest, one he is slowly becoming familiar with. Minseok gets up with a small smile.

Luhan is almost done with the pancakes when Minseok descends the stairs, his eyes mostly closed and with his hand --covered by the sleeve of his too large sweater-- smothering a kittenish yawn.

"G'morning Lu," he says, his words slightly slurring as he suppresses another yawn. 
"Good morning."

Minseok takes a seat on one of stools at the island in the kitchen, his feet lightly swinging and his head propped up on the palm of his hand. He watches Luhan move around his kitchen in silence, blinking lazily every now and then.

Luhan smiles at the adorable sight of a sleepy Minseok.

Luhan sets a cup of coffee in front of his friend--Minseok's fondness for the drink had not escaped his notice--then flips the last pancake onto a plate.

They eat breakfast quietly, but it's not at all awkward like Luhan thought it might be. It's a comfortable silence, and for that he is relieved.

Despite the calm atmosphere, Luhan is practically buzzing inside. Everything is just the same as always, Luhan can't find anything different in the way Minseok acts around him. 
Luhan picks at his pancakes for a while, before he can't hold his curiosity back anymore.

"Hey Minnie..." Luhan starts, and he gets a hum in reply- showing that Minseok is listening. "Do you... Do you remember what I said last night?"

Minseok looks up from his pancakes, obviously confused. "Was this before or after you started crying?"

"After..." Luhan says with a light blush. "We were in bed already and... Um... Do you remember what I said?"

Minseok seems to think a bit before he answers, "I remember you saying how you understand how I feel... But I don't think that's what your referring to is it?"

"You don't remember anything else? What I said after that?"

"I'm sorry Luhan, I was exhausted and probably already half asleep. Was it important?" Minseok wears an apologetic frown.

"No, it was nothing." Luhan says, but he can't decide if he is relieved or disappointed.

"Are you sure?"

Luhan just nods and goes back to his food. He can't help but think, would anything have been different if Minseok had remembered? Did he want it to be?

When they are done eating, they clean up the kitchen and get dressed and ready to go. They have to get Luhan home, he did sneak out last night, and never came home. Luhan never even got to call his parents like he told Minseok he would, his phone had died and when they tried calling from Minseok's they got no answer.

It's not far from Minseok's apartment so they decide to walk. (Minseok let Luhan borrow a jacket.)

They get there quickly, and shed their shoes and coats at the door.

"Mom! Dad!" Luhan calls, heading further into the house. Minseok follows closely after him, and they head into the kitchen. 
Luhan spots a note on the counter; it reads:

Luhan, 
Your father and I got an urgent call. We are needed in China, and had to leave immediately. We didn't want to wake you.
We should be home in a few days.
All our love,
Mom and Dad

Luhan turns to Minseok, pushing down his disappointment, and shows him the note.

Luhan shrugs, "At least now I won't be grounded for sneaking out."

Minseok sees right through his attempt at nonchalance. "I'm sorry, Lu."

Luhan frowns a little, there's no hiding anything from Minseok.

So softly Minseok almost couldn't hear it, Luhan asks, "Can you stay with me?"

Minseok raises an eyebrow, a little surprised that he would ask.

Even softer Luhan says, "It can get lonely... Such a big house, and I'm the only one in it."

Minseok sees the flash of loneliness that crosses Luhan's features, and decides he doesn't like it. He knows all too well how it feels, and he doesn't want Luhan to feel like he's been left behind.

"Of course," Minseok answers. Minseok never wants Luhan to feel like he is unwanted, because that is just simply untrue.

Luhan and Minseok spend the rest of the weekend together, watching movies, playing games, and just laughing and having fun in general. They eat lots of junk food, and they talk about anything and everything. This continues until Sunday night; they both have school the next morning, and they both know it. But they are having too much fun, and neither wants Minseok to leave yet.

Somewhere along the way, the conversations got more serious, and when Luhan brought up the subject of Minseok's mother, things took a turn for the worst.

They were laying on the floor in the living room, just being lazy, and Luhan was trying to convince Minseok of reconciling with his parents. (Or just his mother, at the very least.)

"I'm just saying," Luhan defends, "that maybe you should give her a call."

"I can't, Luhan." Minseok says, putting more emphasis on the word can't than Luhan deems necessary; because he can he just won't.

"The only thing in the way of you making up with your mother is you, Minseok."

"You wouldn't understand," Minseok says with a sigh.

"No Minseok, you don't understand." Luhan all but growls at him.

"Trust me, Luhan, this is the way it needs to be." Minseok says, a bit of sadness creeping into his voice, "It's better this way."

"No!" Luhan yells, making Minseok jump in fright at the sheer volume of it. But as surprising as the loudness of the exclamation was, it's the sheer panic that really took Minseok by surprise.

Minseok has never heard Luhan sound like that, has never even heard his voice rise above his normal gentle tone.

"You never give up on family, Minseok. Never." Luhan says desperately. "Family is all that matters in this world."

"I never gave up on my family, Luhan. There are circumstances-"

"But you have! You're doing it right now! You refuse to make up with your mother, when it's obvious that she cares. It's you who is the problem."

"I am the problem?"

If Luhan wasn't so worked up he would have noticed how Minseok's voice suddenly became oddly cold, considering who he is talking to. Minseok's voice is always warm to Luhan's ears.

"Yes! At least you have your mother, your real mother!" Luhan rants, "Here she is, reaching out and trying to fix things, and you're too much of a coward to accept it!"

Minseok's voice is near to a whisper, "Problem? Coward?" Unheard under Luhan's ranting.

Minseok feels the blood in his veins turn to ice, his voice is hushed and cold when he says, "I see."

Luhan stops mid sentence to look at his friend, immediately noticing that he has obviously made a mistake somewhere. Luhan has pressed a button, a dangerous one.

"When did I become the problem to you, Luhan? What makes you think you have the right to call me a coward?" Minseok asks, his face and voice impossibly neutral. But Luhan can feel the danger lurking behind his friend's cool gaze. "You? You know nothing about me, about what I've lived through. About what I have to endure. You, who lives here, in comfort; You probably haven't had to experience any hardship. You're nothing but a spoiled brat."

Luhan stiffens, his entire body quaking with anger. "It's you who knows nothing. You think I haven't had hard times? I haven't felt pain?" Fire fills Luhan's eyes, "You're not the only who has lost something! And maybe if you stopped feeling so sorry for yourself, you'd realize that!"

"You misunderstand me, Luhan," Minseok says cooly and Luhan feels a slight shock run through his system as Minseok says with a cold sneer, "It is not by my choice that I am separated from my family, whether they show me love or no. But I suppose I'm only getting what I deserve, after all, I am the problem."

Luhan's fury is pushed aside for a moment as the wind is knocked out of him by those words. He watches in astonishment as Minseok collects his things and leaves, closing the door softly behind him. 
Luhan feels his heart sinking, finally processing what Minseok said, what he repeated, what Luhan had said. That's when he understands, Minseok hates himself. Though it's his stepfather that pulled them apart in the first place, it is Minseok who keeps the distance. He thinks he deserves all of this, all of the pain, and he is purposely staying away from his family for that reason. It's not because Minseok doesn't want to be with his family, somehow he's come to believe that they're just better off without him around.

Minseok has always believed he was the problem. Everyone else has always told him so. Except Luhan. Minseok had thought he had finally found someone who wouldn't hate him for who he was. Was he wrong?

Luhan stares at the door in silence, realizing the huge mistake he just made, he has never felt more like a jerk in his entire life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OMO GUYS!  SOOOOO SORRY!

I know that this chapter was a long time coming. But i got so busy! And I had this really great chapter all done and all, about 4000 words too! And then when i tried posting it, something happened with my computer and it was all lost!!! 

I was devestated. Sorry to say that it took me a while to feel like I could write it again, and it kept frustrating me because it wasnt the same! Some things changed, (a lot did actually) and I actually kinda like where this is going, because its given me a lot of ideas of what to write for future chapters. So hopefully those shouldnt take too long, as a gift for waiting so patiently. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! (AND LOOK FORWARD TO THE ONES IN THE FUTURE)

Thanks so much, for the comments, and reads, and all of your support. 

HAPPY READING!!

~Aya Kay :* <3