Chapter 4

Everybody is asking me if I am in love. Do my eyes give too much hint? Or is it this stupid smile on my face when I am with you?

Everybody believes there’s something, but we are lost in our own world to notice

**

After the hellish week of exams, students need some time for relaxation too and for the freshmen students nothing had them more excited when plans for the freshmen acquaintance party was announced. In the past months although some have already built friendships with people around them it is still a good way to be acquainted with students from the other departments.

“Hey, Wook are you planning to sign up as a performer for the acquaintance party?” Kyuhyun asked. He sat down on the bench beside Ryeowook who was too engrossed in scribbling some notes on his notebook.

“Mmm? What did you say?” he looks up to his friend.

“I said are you planning to perform on the acquaintance party?” he repeated.

“I think so. My professor knew that I am in the musical org so he urged me to perform. You know that I can’t say no to the professor,”

“Oh so I will probably go to the party then. I want to hear you sing onstage,”

“Wait, you are not planning to go initially? Isn’t it required to all first year students?”

“Yeah but I don’t care. I’m not fond of partying. I’d rather go home and spend the night playing games.”

Ryeowook shook his head in amusement. “You know you’re not getting a girlfriend by sitting down in front of your computer forever…”

“Who said I want a girlfriend? I’m just looking for a headache. Besides I have plenty of good friends to hang with, like you…” Kyuhyun hangs his arm on Ryeowook’s shoulder and leans near. “How about you? Are you planning to hook up girlfriends in the party? Many will fall in love with you when they hear you sing,” Kyuhyun had heard him sing few times already and he was stunned everytime he hears Ryeowook’s angelic voice.

“Excuse me?” Ryeowook scoffs. “I – I’m… No way! Its not like that!” he blushes from the close proximity. Kyuhyun laughs loudly while the other scowls.

“Yah! Why do you always love to tease me?”

“Beca… because… you’re my … best friend!!!” he said between his laughs. Then Kyuhyun leans back to him and whispers to his ear, “and you know your reactions are funny!!” And before Ryeowook can hit him on the arm he jumps away, grabs his bag and runs away.

“See you later!!!” Kyuhyun shouts from the distance.

Even if he is annoyed Ryeowook can’t help but smile at his friend. Kyuhyun is different among his friends and only him would dare to like that and could get away easily. Grabbing up his books, he heads to the music hall for practice.

Later that day the two went home together again. That was their usual routine whenever they have the same dismissal time. Kyuhyun would go looking for Ryeowook at the music department and wait for him until he was finished with his work. This happens most of the time that some students mistook Kyuhyun as music major. Well, for Kyuhyun, Ryeowook is not only the reason why he loves to go there. Whenever he goes there, he feels like he was at home. Music still holds a space in his heart. Nothing can mistake the longing in his eyes whenever he sees the students playing piano or he hears someone singing. He may have given up his dream of becoming a singer but a part of him wants to continue playing music while he is following his parent’s choice. And with Ryeowook he feels close with his dream, with his heart.

“By the way, I forgot to ask you before, what are you planning to sing at the party?” Kyuhyun asked.

Ryeowook stops walking and looks at him grinning. “Take a guess.”

“Wait, what? How could I possibly guess it? There are so many songs!” the other complained.

“Then don’t guess it. Just wait until next Saturday,” he pats Kyuhyun on the shoulder. “That’s your fault for teasing me earlier!”

“Hey! But I’m your best friend… you should be telling me everything!” Ryeowook ignored him and keep on walking. If Kyuhyun enjoys teasing him then its time for him to torture him back. He knows that Kyuhyun will be bothered by this until the event.

“Ryeowoooook… wookieeee… ryeongggg”

“Even if you pull up your best aegyo it will not work on me.” Ryeowook fights the urge to laugh at his friend.

“It’s unfair! Why don’t you want to tell me? Have I been too bad to you?” Kyuhyun looks pitiful but Ryeowook still wants to keep it a surprise.

“Kyu, don’t think about it now. Its my surprise for you so just wait for it. Instead, why don’t you start looking up for clothes that you will wear.  Ask your sister for advice,” Ryeowook said knowing how bad Kyuhyun’s taste in fashion was. He had seen a few times when Kyuhyun would dress badly so he would just prefer on wearing simple shirt and jeans.

“Fine, but this will be the last time you will keep a secret from me, okay?” Kyuhyun grumbled and Ryeowook can’t tell if he will hold on to that promise. “I will ask my mom instead. Ahra would only laugh at me if I ask her,”

“You love to tease each other don’t you?” Ryeowoook laughs.

I love to tease you more. Kyuhyun thinks but he did not dare to voice it out loud afraid that he will piss him off. “She can be a brat most of the time. Wait until you meet her but she will probably act like an angel in front of you,”

“You two are so cute. I don’t have siblings so I never experienced the fun of getting on my sibling’s nerves,”

“Lucky you. I would prefer to have a brother so that I can have someone to play with starcraft at all times at home. But Ahra’s there already and she is older… so I tolerated her craziness sometimes,”

“They just love to spoil and annoy you. You are still lucky… even if they did not agree with your dreams,”

They fell silent after that. They walked quietly until they reached Ryeowook’s dorm. The smaller looks at Kyuhyun in worry because he did not say anything after his last statement. He thinks he said something wrong that got him upset.

“Uhmm… Kyu,”

“Hmm?”

“Are you angry?”

“Why would I be angry?”

“You didn’t speak to me after what I said.”

“I’m not angry at that… I was just thinking about something,” Kyuhyun looks at Ryeowook and the other could see the worry in his eyes.

“Do you have a problem that I don’t know? You can always tell me,” Ryeowook said softly.

“Your statement got me thinking. Do you really think my parents love me?”

“Why would you question their love for you? They are your parents!”

“I know, I know. Anyone can think that we are a one happy family and yes I can say that we are. They are nice but only when I don’t mention my plans before of becoming a singer or being a trainee,” Kyuhyun complains. “You didn’t see them during my final months in high school when I was on verge of running away from them.”

Ryeowook listens to Kyuhyun as he let out his frustrations. He understands his feelings. He understands how he questions his parents’ love. Ryeowook’s own parents were not really against his plans to train under a music label. Its just they want him to pursue his education more even if it means taking music as long as he graduates with a diploma. He took a chance before but failed so he doesn’t have a choice but focus on studying instead. At least he is taking up music in college. For Kyuhyun it is a completely different turn from what he really wants in life.

Ryeowook doesn’t really know how to comfort him but he believes that something good will happen to him. “It wasn’t what you want in your life but you choose it for your parents. You could have disobeyed them but you didn’t. Its because you love them. And they love you too. I don’t know how to prove it to you but take a look with your relationship at them in the past few months. They only want what’s best for you even if it is not what you want. They are your family Kyu,” he said.

He didn’t know where he got those words of advice but he let his heart and mind speak. He too will doubt his words if he was in Kyuhyun’s situation but he hopes that his friend will stop questioning his parents from now on. It would only hurt Kyuhyun and continuously remind him of his unfulfilled dreams.

Ryeowook didn’t expect Kyuhyun to hug him but he returned the hug and patted his back to comfort him. “Why are you so serious this time? Where was the evil Kyuhyun that was teasing me earlier?” he tried to change the topic.

“I am not always evil like you think. I was just reminded of something,”

“If it is what I said before then I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,”

“No. Really its okay. Perhaps I haven’t settled down with my decision yet. I still question myself from time to time and I really need someone to remind me that this is for the best. So, thank Ryeowook-ah,” Kyuhyun releases him and looks at his eyes sincerely.

“I didn’t do anything,”

“You did. Your words did. And everytime I want to give up and turn my back you should be here to remind me to keep on going right? You are my best friend,” Kyuhyun said too seriously that others might think there’s more meaning in his words.

“Yes sir, promise” Ryeowook raises his right hand. “As long as you stop picking on me,”

“No way! You know that I do that to all the people that I like!” Kyuhyun’s grin creeps back again on his face which makes Ryeowook smile absentmindedly too. A bus beeps few meters ahead and Kyuhyun softly pinch the shorter’s cheeks before running away towards the bus that will take him home.

Ryeowook watches the bus go before he heads inside the building. He was inside the elevator when his phone beeps. It was a message from Kyuhyun.

 I forgot to say goodbye. Bye bye!

**

Kyuhyun’s alarm clock rings for nth time but he was still sleeping like a log. He doesn’t need to be up early today so he thinks he can sleep for a few more hours. But then his sister barges in his room and turns off the alarm in annoyance.

“Yah! Don’t set up the alarm if you will just ignore it. I am the one being awakened not you,”

“Hmmm….” He mumbled as he snuggles back under his pillows. Fall is just starting and he can already feel the gradual change of temperature. He covered himself with a thick comforter and he looks like a cocoon.

“Anyway since I’m already I will just wake you up,” Ahra said. “Hey, wake up. Dad will go to church later don’t you want to come with?” she nudges her brother.

“Go away…” he says. “I’ll just go… in the afternoon,”

“Come on… It’s Thanksgiving Day! We should be complete today…”

“Huh?” he peeks under the pillow. “What day is today?”

“Thanksgiving Day,” she simply said. “You forgot it,”

Kyuhyun groaned and forced himself to get up from the comfort of his bed. If he didn’t get up now his parents would come later and nag on him. Ahra finally left when she was sure that her brother would not go back to bed. Kyuhyun lazily moved around the bedroom and took a shower before getting dressed.

“Good morning dear!” his mother greeted him the moment he stepped inside the dining room. His father was sitting already and currently reading a newspaper.

“Good morning mom,” he said and he looked at all the foods prepared on the table. He could feel his stomach growing hungrier as he stared at his mother’s cooking. “Good morning dad,” he greeted as he sat down in front of his father.

“Good morning,” he smiles. “Where is your sister?”

Kyuhyun shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought she’s here already since she was the one who woke me up. I bet she is taking her time in front of the mirror again,”

His mother rolls her eyes. “You don’t understand girls. We just want to look good so we spends more time fixing ourselves than you boys do,” she defends her daughter.

“Okay, that is why she tries every dress in her closet before deciding what she will use. She is just trying to please her boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend of whom?” Ahra asks arriving in the dining room.

“You,” Kyuhyun said.

“I don’t have a boyfriend!” she exclaims. “Mom, dad, don’t believe him. He is just trying to piss me off again.”

Mr. Cho laughs at his daughter as she panics that they might get angry at her. “You don’t have to hide it if you have. You are old enough to have a boyfriend.”

“Dad!” she cries out, surprised that her father would say something like that. “I’m not yet old...”

“Yes you are noona,” Kyuhyun chuckles as he stressed the last word to annoy her more.

Ahra glares at her brother. “Fine. I had a boyfriend before but we broke up last year. There is none at the moment,” she said. “How about you my dear brother? Any girlfriends that you are hiding?”

Kyuhyun was in the middle of sipping his coffee and he almost spits out everything in front of him. “What?” he coughs.

“I’m asking about your love life. You haven’t had a girlfriend since high school?” she asks as if their parents were not there to hear their conversation.

“I don’t have. I never had!” Kyuhyun panics. “I’m too busy studying to think about that.”

His father raises his eyebrows amused at his son’s reason. “You manage to play games while studying though. Don’t tell me you are planning to grow old by yourself.”

“Dad...” Kyuhyun grows uncomfortable with the topic and his sister enjoys his agony. She laughs secretly while stuffing more food in .

“But before that, Ahra you should find a nice man first. You have graduated already and have a stable job. It is time for you to look out for yourself.”

Kyuhyun grins as the topic backfires to his sister.

“Speaking about looking out for myself, dad I’m planning to study again,”

“What about it this time?”

“Music. I’m planning to go abroad,”

Kyuhyun sensed that the atmosphere had changed into a serious one. Just minutes ago his dad’s face was smiling but now it is gone. Mrs. Cho was silent all this time watching her family talk.

“Dad. Please. I can still help in the family business even if I’m away. I finished what you wanted for me, let me try to chase my own dream too,” she pleads.

Kyuhyun watches as his father thinks deeply of the situation. Ahra had accomplished something already and their parents don’t have any more reason to hold her back.

“Where do you plan to go,” their mother asks softly.

“Probably Europe, but I will not go until I have your permission,” she said still looking intently at her dad. Their father avoids their eyes and keeps himself busy with the food.

“Please...”

Mr. Cho exhales a deep breath and finally looks at his daughter. “If I told you no you would still pursue it until I agree. So I better let you go now,”

 “Really dad?” Ahra stands up to hug his father tightly. “Thank you so much. I won’t forget about my duty as a daughter, I promise. If our business needs me I will fly immediately here,” Mrs. Cho smiles at the father-daughter interaction. This must be the happiest Thanksgiving for her daughter.

Kyuhyun wasn’t actually surprised that his father agreed. Now that he thinks about it, will his father agree too if he pursues music after he finishes college?

A singing lawyer? Kyuhyun snorts at the idea. It is impossible anymore.

**

Ryeowook arrived at his dorm at 5am in morning. He had just come back from Incheon since he decided to go home for Thanksgiving. It feels good to see his parents after months of missing them. They were really happy to see him back and he missed basking in the attention and love of his parents being an only child.

He placed his bag on the table and sat down on his bed and stretched his body. His body was tired of sitting for an hour in the bus so he thinks he will take a few minutes rest before preparing for school later.

Just when he was about to fall asleep his phone rings. It was his mom.

“Hello mom. I’m here at the dorm already,”

“Good to know that. I just called to check you. Don’t forget to take out the foods I packed for you inside the bag,”

“You did?” he said eyeing the bag. “That is why it is heavy.”

“I put the food when you were inside the bathroom,”

“Ohh... okay thanks mom,”

“You’re welcome. You can share it with your friends if you think it is too many,”

“Sure mom. Kyuhyun would love this stuff,”

“If he likes more then you can bring him at the holidays. I’m planning to do a big celebration this year,” she said. “I’m talking too much. I should go so that you can rest,”

“Bye mom. I love you,”

“Love you too baby,” she ended the call and Ryeowook lied down again. The coldness of the bed let him relax his muscles and fall asleep quickly.

Later that day, Ryeowook and Kyuhyun were eating lunch at their favourite spot on the bench. The trees around them start to lose its leaves indicating that the autumn season is starting.

“Mmmm... this is delicious Wookie!! You and your mom really are like chefs!” Kyuhyun said for the nth time since they started eating. Ryeowook laughs and shakes his head. He thinks that Kyuhyun is just saying that so he can always taste his cooking.

“Eat carefully and slowly or you’ll get indigestion. I had my own share of experience with it and I can control now much food I can stuff in my stomach.”

“Thanks for the advice but I think I can handle it,” he says. “Hmmm this is delicious!”

Ryeowook ignored his friend and brings out his phone to text his blockmate. Kyuhyun noticed that the other was busy with something and wasn’t listening to his praises anymore.

“Who are you texting? Your girlfriend?” Kyuhyun asks leaning close to take a peek at his phone.

“I’m texting Jinsun. I’m asking what time will be our practice later,”

“Hmmm... is that so?”

Ryeowook stares at him. “What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing... Just – nothing...” he shifts his gaze to the food in front of him.

Weird. Ryeowook thinks but he just lets it pass. His phone beeps indicating that Jinsun had replied back.

“Where is your practice later? At the orchestra hall?” Kyuhyun asked.

“Nope. And I’m not telling or else you will know what song I will be singing,” he is not stupid and he knows Kyuhyun wants him to slip the secret out. “Five more days Kyu, you can do it,” he says and pats his shoulder.

“Arggh you’re mean,” he grumbles. “I bet the lyrics were written in that notebook,” he said eye the violet spiral notebook on the table. His guesses were always right as Ryeowook immediately snatches the thing out of his reach and puts it inside his bag.

“You’re not hearing anything about it from me until Saturday okay? I’ll go to my class now, bye,” Ryeowook said running away into the building.

Kyuhyun wished he didn’t say that and just stole the notebook without the other’s knowledge.

**

The week passed by quickly and finally the acquaintance party that everyone is waiting for had come. The university ground is glowing with several candle lights hanging on the trees. Tables and chairs were arranged in semiformal theme and atmosphere looks like a romantic scene from a movie. People were chatting and getting to know each other.

Kyuhyun thinks that the party organizers were so much into mushy romantic things that this acquaintance party almost looked like a valentine’s party instead. The chocolate fountain, the bunch of flowers scattered in the place, the red carpet and the stage itself creeps Kyuhyun. He wasn’t fond of parties and he only came because he wants to see Ryeowook perform. Perhaps he will go home after that.

“Kyuhyun! What a surprise to see you here!” his classmate spotted him. Kyuhyun made his way and sat with them.

“I was bored at home,” he lied.

“Well, you could have played Starcraft with me. I wished I didn’t come here,” Minhyun grumbled. “This is boring. Look, only those girls were enjoying this type of parties.”

“You should have told me; anyways I will just watch the performers and leave when I get tired,”

“Oww... but those girls probably wants to get to know you. They are looking at you,” his other friend whispered.

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. He is not interested in anyone. How many times does he need to point it out to his friends and even to his family? He thinks that love will come at the right time. He will feel it with the right person and he hopes that person is someone who accepts his flaws and not just the good things in him.

“Stop it. If you guys want to hook up girlfriends tonight just go and leave me alone. I’m planning to live my life in peace,” he said and stands up again to walk around the place. He hopes that the night will pass by quickly.

 “As you wish, sir”

“Are you ready? You are the next performer,” the lady asked Ryeowook at the back of the stage.

He smiles and calms himself. This isn’t the first time he will perform in front of a large crowd. But this is the first time that he will perform in front of people who knows him. Of course his friends, classmates and even his professors would recognize him. Even Kyuhyun. He needs to be calm.

“I practiced the piano many times last night, everything will go well,” Jinsun talks to himself to calm down. Ryeowook heard him but his gaze peeks behind the stage curious about how the people outside were.

“Looking for someone?” asks the other.

“Huh? Oh I was just wondering if my friend is there already,”

“Just a friend?”

“Best friend... actually,”

“Oh, this is interesting. Is this best friend the one you dedicate the song to?”

“What?! No. Why would you think that??” Ryeowook exclaimed shocked at his friend’s words.

“I know many best friends that fall in love with each other. Some of them eventually marry each other while others grow apart as time goes by,” Jinsun said. “You know, love begins from friendship...”

“Stop it. Don’t put some imaginations in my mind. I’m trying to concentrate right now.”

“Fine... but I can’t wait when you and your ‘best friend’ finally feels the spark between you,”

Ryeowook blushed at the thought of falling in love with his best friend. What am I thinking? Pushing the thoughts aside he saw that the performer was finished, Ryeowook dragged Jinsun to the stage to get ready.

He walks onto the middle of the stage, Ryeowook turns towards the microphone stand while the other to the piano. He scans the place but he doesn’t see Kyuhyun. Kyu you shouldn’t miss it.

The piano starts playing and Ryeowook closes his eyes and puts his heart on the song.

Kyuhyun walks back outside after going to the comfort room. Ever since he went away from his friends he hadn’t seen them. Perhaps they went over to the girls to get to know each other. He walks alone under the trees while watching the students from afar. What a gloomy night it is. He hopes Ryeowook was there with him since he is the best company.

Just as he comes nearer to the site or perhaps to the stage, he hear the comforting sound of the piano accompanied by a beautiful voice he swears he’d heard somewhere before. He went closer and that was when he realises that his best friend was the one singing.

Finally he hears the song that Ryeowook had made him guess. He smiles from the stage when he spots him and as Kyuhyun watches him he thinks he is beautiful. His smile is beautiful.

Kyuhyun did not realize it but he feels light and warm just be hearing Ryeowook sing. It feels like he found his eternal happiness.

Do you know

I already have a great lover

Someone too precious I had to hide it
 

That man, only I can see him

He is visible only to my eyes

His name will forever be sealed in my lips

Only the tears that sometimes fill my eyes know

That that man is you

Ryeowook sings from his heart and everyone is stunned to silence until he finishes the song. When the piano stops playing, he bows to the audience oblivious to the fact that he just made the girls fall in love with his voice.

When he was just about the leave the back stage Ryeowook was surprised to see Kyuhyun waiting for him. Immediately, a smile formed on each other’s faces.

“Kyu! Why are you here? I saw you from the audience before...”

“I went here the moment you finished singing. I ditched my boring friends ... and perhaps you could accompany me for the rest of the night?” Kyuhyun said.

“I thought you would go home after my performance?”

“Hmmm... I changed my mind,”

“Sure. We could spend a little more time since I’m planning to go home before midnight,”

“By the way, you were great onstage. You’re the best performer tonight,” Kyuhyun said too seriously, staring at the other’s eyes.

Ryeowook turned pink at the compliment and at the corner of his eyes he saw Jinsun watching their interaction with an annoying smile on his face. Instead, he grabs Kyuhyun’s hand and ushers him to somewhere outside.

The night is still long and under the moonlight they could continue to chat together and do things that best friends do.