Was it the alcohol?

Hoseok: Hey, hopefully I didn't wake you up but let's head out today. Today as in now. Now as in right now. I am outside your apartment building.

Rolling my eyes, this was very Hoseok like. Twiddling my thumbs, I finally answered.

Me: Aish kid, just come inside.

I did not wait for a reply; I just put my phone down. Remembering Taehyung's note, I did not want Hoseok to find it. Because then he would know the truth. That I drink to forget something that never was. Hiding the note, I brushed out my hair. I had to look good for Hoseok. Secretly I hoped his heart skipped a beat when he saw me. Secretly. But I was curious as to why my heart refused to dance for his name moments ago.

A knock on the door resonated throughout me, breaking me from the trance of questions. I had to not seem eager. I had to down play this. Hoseok cannot know my true intentions. Taking my time to open the door when all I wanted to do was pounce was the first step, a seemingly impossible step. Opening it, any attempt at seeming lazy was squashed when Hoseok appeared.

"Whoa, do I smell pancakes?" He gasped, looking around me in a childish manner and it took all my will power to not laugh.

"Yup."

"Where, I want pancakes." He jumped around like a little kid and I pointed towards the plain bench. Hoseok did not hold back and began to eat. "Ahh, these are delicious."

"Yeah, they are." I rolled my eyes, grabbing one for myself. 

Taehyung sure knew how to cook. But I was fine if Hoseok thought I had made these, it might make him think about me.

"Whatever. I am on a mission. I need new dance shoes. Let's go now now now." Hoseok was fast, finished with the pancakes and onto something else.

Soon we were out of my apartment and in the elevator. Hoseok was talking a million miles per hour, but I was too busy admiring him to catch what he was saying. Would he ever look at me like this? Lust almost took me captive in this elevator, it threatened to pounce on Hoseok and force him to return my feelings. The beast in me wanted to be free.

Walking out of the elevator finally, I was relieved. I managed not to jump Hoseok. Soon we were out of the building, and we went to my car. Whatever Hoseok wanted, I would get him. Even if that meant going out of my own way to do so.

The shops weren't far away though. And in no time, we were looking at shoes. I yawned and looked around, dissatisfied with the lack of other merchandise to keep me entertained. Shoes did not interest me, but if they interested Hoseok, so be it. Half an hour had already passed, and Hoseok was still in denial about every shoe there. 

"Hey, I am just going to get a drink over there." I told him, pointing to a juice stand and he just nodded.

That nonchalant reply hurt more than it should. Blinking a few times, the mental recoil almost made me stumble. I stayed with him for half an hour, and all he had for me was a nod? All but stomping towards the counter, I joined the line up at the juice stand. The store was slightly more packed than when I first arrived, and to avoid walking shoppers, the line was compressed. The person in front of me was slightly taller and blocked out portions of the board since we were so close, yet still not touching. Trying not to touch them made me concentrate on their every movement just that tiny bit more. Like watching them point at the board, trying to find a drink the liked with an undefined grace, yet with a kind of self-doubt and caution. Their movements seemed familiar. Looking at their face, this was too much of a coincidence. I almost wanted to laugh at how cliché this whole scenario seemed.

"Taehyung?" I asked and he spun to look at me, fear dancing in his features for a brief moment before he realized it was me.

"Yoongi? You actually left your apartment." He joked and I hit him painfully. He feigned pain, and I couldn't help but think that this kind of exchange should be for friends, not relative strangers.

Taking in his full appearance from these close confines, I was even more impressed. If I thought he looked good in plain black when he stood in my kitchen making pancakes, this was on a whole different level. A white shirt, denim jacket and black jeans changed his appearance greatly from attractive to -god. He was wearing plain white converse and his hair was now brushed, making it curl in a way that no hair dresser could ever achieve. Those wavy locks tempted me to run my fingers through them.

"I take offence to that comment." I blurted, remembering I had to reply to his earlier comment, and I was embarrassed by how I stared. Who thinks of another as a -god? What am I, a dramatic dork?

"Well, I am glad you left. I have to say, you looked adorable when you woke up, but you look really good now." He grinned, then began to order.

Aish this kid. He must be the kind of worming out of comments like that. Did he not see how that could be mistaken for flirting? I won't deny it though; this kind of attention is what I felt I needed. But that comment unnerved me. He thought I looked good. Was that just a joke? Taehyung stepped back from the counter, now just waiting for his order. The lady called me forward, and I placed mine. Glaring at Taehyung, he raised his arms in surrender.

"You must have a death wish of something. Saying a guy is adorable in public." I shook my head, acting out disappointment but I could feel my lips curl up in a smile.

He leant close to me with no warning. I could feel his hot breath hit my ear as he thought through his words. He was doing this because the store was packed. Yeah, that has to be it. I hope that is it. Or maybe I don't?

"Then let me make it up to you." He finally whispered, his deep voice entrancing me.

"How?" I fought to keep my voice steady, trying my hardest not to look at him.

"I can get you free drinks at the bar." He grinned devilishly, and I realized, he didn't see the affect his voice just had on me. Or if he did, he made no show of it. He moved back slightly, rocking on his heels away from me, and I was shocked to find myself disappointed by that maneuver.

I remembered once again I was in the midst of a conversation and I needed a witty comeback. None came, so I went with a question.

"Are you just trying to get me drunk?" I asked, teasing. To make it obvious that it was only a joke, I smirked up at him.

"Are you the kind of twenty questions?" He retorted and my grin fell.

He started laughing as his smoothie was called up. He grabbed it with his strange grace and patted my head. Taehyung ran his fingers through my hair much like I was compelled to do to him.

"Goodbye Yoongi." He cooed and my face went aflame.

"R-respect your hyung!" I shouted, stuttering from embarrassment.

I watched him walk off, disappearing almost instantly in the swarms of people. Grabbing my own smoothie with shaking hands, I swore I must have looked like a lunatic being this red in the face. And all because of one guy. Just thinking of him sent chills up my spine, and I wanted him to pat my head again.

Crap, just what is with that guy?

Hoseok ran up to my side, and judging by the confused expression on his face, he had seen my encounter with Taehyung. This could make for an awkward conversation because some of us have trouble fleeing from unwanted topics. That damn kid.

"Whoa Yoongi, who was that guy?" He asked and I just shrugged.

"Taehyung." I told him, sipping from my drink being careful not to make eye contact. 

"Yeah, but what is he to you?" Hoseok clung onto my arm, his light brown hair moving with each gesture.

That was a good question. What was Taehyung to me? He patted my head; Hoseok saw that, so how could I saw we were not friends. That we were pretty much strangers. A stranger whom I seem to deeply regret not sleeping with. That I would never admit. Just saying we were strangers, Hoseok wouldn't buy it, and I couldn't tell him we met at a bar last night. And if memory serves me correct, a gay bar. Wait, that kid works at a gay bar? Does that mean he is…gay?

"Um, earth to Yoongi." Hoseok said, waving his hand in front of my face.

"Oh, ummm, we are acquaintances." I decided on that, hoping it was believable.

"That looked more like a friend exchange." Hoseok pouted, "And that looked like a young kid."

I laughed. It sounded like Hoseok was jealous, and I really liked this feeling it gave me.

"Idiot, Taehyung is nineteen. Now did you find a good pair of shoes?" I asked and Hoseok forgot all about Taehyung.

"I am glad you asked." He beamed and began to tell me all about his shoes. It became a one sided conversation again.

Would Hoseok ever pat my head? No, probably not. He told me many times I seemed threatening. What could have possessed Taehyung to pat my head? Scratching my own head slightly, I felt the strange urge to see him again. But why, I had Hoseok all to myself.

"And they were cheap!" Hoseok squeaked, holding my arm tightly.

"Sounds good." I muttered, disappointed that I hadn't fully listened. Hoseok was cutest when explaining something he likes.

"Yes, I hope my boyfriend likes them." He grinned and I froze.

Hoseok didn't notice my momentary glitch and I was glad. He…got a boyfriend. I missed every chance I possibly had. Spiraling into the pit pf my own consciousness, I needed out. I needed the numb feeling only alcohol can give. I think I need to take up Taehyung's offer for those free drinks. But right now, with my heartbreak next to me, I had to smile. I wanted to scream, cry, but all I did was offer lazy words of encouragement. Yawning to mask a whimper, I told Hoseok I wanted to go home and sleep. All he did was pout and say fine. That his boyfriend was waiting for him anyway.

Strolling to my car, all I felt was anger. He was so close, yet so far. Hoseok was always within grasp but I was too much of a coward to reach out. Now he was gone. There was no hope to get him back. Climbing into my car I slammed the door shut. I needed to sleep. I needed to dream.

I got home without crashing my car. Basically sprinting to my apartment, I punched in the code and flung open the door. Swearing, I stormed to my bed. I lost Hoseok. I ing lost Hoseok. Diving under the covers, I scrunched my eyes shut. I tried so hard to keep these feelings a secret, but was it worth it? Our whole friendship was a lie. A sham. And thoughts like this rocked me into a dreamless slumber.

I woke on sunset, the whole day wasted. Crawling out of bed, I needed to drink. I wanted to be drunk when I woke up in the morning. I needed this. Walking to my closet, I wanted to dress to impress. And I knew who I wanted to impress. A pretty bartender with a peculiar personality.

Brushing my blond hair, I chose out an outfit. A red t-shirt, black skinny jeans and black shoes. I decided to do light eye liner and I glared at my own reflection. I looked alright. Murderous, but alright. That was good enough.

Leaving the apartment complex, I decided against my car. I was planning to get really really drunk. Hailing a taxi, I didn't care about the judgmental looks when I gave him the directions to the bar. It was fine. It didn't matter anyway. After tonight, I never wanted to wake up again.

Climbing out, I was determined. I would find Taehyung, get my free drinks, and forget about Hoseok.

Entering the bar, I showed ID and was instantly struck by loud music. Walking to the counter, I was Taehyung. I went to talk to him, but saw his devilish smile towards someone else. Someone unknown.  The guy on the receiving end of his smile looked just as young as Taehyung. 

Pushing aside all hesitations, I strolled up to Taehyung. He recoiled slightly when he saw me, but masked it well with a smile. And much to my secret delight, he abruptly dropped all conversations with the other guy. His friend I presume. But that strained look in his smile was also not unnoticed. His friend promptly left as I sat.

"Hey Taehyung." I grinned and he giggled. He leant over the counter, a move what shocked me.

Managing to whisper hauntingly over the loud music, all he said was, "Hey Yoongi, has anyone ever told you your smile is as sweet as sugar?"

Blush crept up my cheeks, and I laughed sarcastically. When I am around him, I find myself laughing more often than I normally do. It was nice, but I was on a mission.

"You promised free drinks?" I questioned and he sighed dramatically, slumping on the table. His childish behavior made me, the steel faced Yoongi, giggle. Taehyung winked, and evil glint shining in his eyes.

"Sure Yoongi, but you have to listen to the woes of my life." He threatened.

"But you promised me." I whined and he pouted. Taehyung won me over quickly. "Fine."

A drink, my favourite drink, was instantly in front of me and I knew I was gaping.

"I remember from last night." He explained, tapping his head.

"Stalker." I jokingly accused.

"Rude."

"So what are the woes of your life?" I asked, sipping from my drink and blatantly ignoring the fact he called me rude.

"Well, brace yourself." He warned before stifling a laughing with the back of his wrist, "I forgot to pay my landlord so I am homeless. Again."

For some reason he was cheering while I was trying my hardest not to spill my drink.

"Again?" I nearly shouted, yet even though I didn't, he still placed his finger over my lips.

I relished his warmth on my lips, and wished it were his own against mine. Disgusted at my own thoughts, I listened to every word he said.

"I am on and off living on the streets. Thought I had everything sorted this time." He pouted for real this time, and it was insanely cute.

"Do you know anyone to stay with?" I asked, actually curious as to what his upbringing was like.

"Only Jungkook. He was the one who just left. But his girlfriend didn't like it last time I stayed there so he can't take me. Everyone else I know is just creepy bar goers." He shuddered at the end and I took personal offence.

"Hey, I am a customer here. Not a creepy bar goer." I did shout and he realized.

"Oh, but Yoongi, you are different." He cried out and I laughed again. "You seem nice. You like pancakes."

"You judge people on whether or not they like pancakes?" I asked clearly stumped.

"Yes I do. Now back on topic. I, the almighty Taehyung, am homeless. Done, end of tragic tale." He grinned and went to serve another customer who seemed quite aggravated by our lengthy talk.

Grabbing his arm, I didn't understand what I was doing. He stared at me with those large brown eyes, and only one impulse rushed through me. My mouth moved faster than my brain.

"Live with me then." 

What was I saying?