I couldn’t sleep.
   I tried, but failed, despite my lack of sleep from the night before plus the fifteen hours of dance and vocal training. Every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing Jaebum’s snarling y face and it annoyed me. It annoyed me cause I truly wanted him to like me. I wanted to be close with all of my band mates, and the very last thing I wanted was for any of them to dislike me.
   I rolled over and sighed.  
   Every time I opened my eyes, they would wander to my nightstand, where my phone was. I smiled, looking at the phone charm that now hung from the side of my phone. Just then, the phone rang.
   I sat up and looked at the number I’d never seen before. Should I answer it? I usually didn’t answer numbers I didn’t know. I answered it before it could go to voicemail. “Yoboseyo?”
   “I almost thought you weren’t gonna answer, I’d have been hurt.” A smooth voice spoke through the other end of the phone.
   I blinked. “Hyung?” My voice cracked.
   Rain laugh filled the speaker of my phone. “Were you expecting someone else? Is there something I should know?” He was joking, but I still panicked a little.
   “No!” I exclaimed. “I wasn’t expecting anyone, I swear.”
   There was a slight pause, which made me nervous. “I believe you.” I heard the smirk in his voice. Just imagining it made me bite my lip.
   “How’d you get my number?” I asked, stupidly.
   “I have my ways." He brushed off my question, asking his own. "Did you get my note?”
   I nodded, realizing he couldn’t see me. “Yeah.”
   “Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
   I cocked my head in confusion. Why would he call just to ask that? “W-Wait, hyung!” I stuttered. “That’s it? Like . . . that’s all you called for?”
   “Why else would I call?" He asked sarcastically.  "To ask what you’re wearing?”
   I blushed profusely. “Well, no . . . never mind. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
   “. . . Wait,” He paused. “What are you wearing?”
   “Umm . . . pajamas.” I blinked.
   “Oooh, y.” He chuckled at his own little joke. “Night panda.”
   I blushed at the nickname he’d given me, putting my phone back down and squeezing my pillow with a big smile.
   “Who was that?” Taec asked from his side of the room.
   I froze, remembering that I wasn’t alone in the room. Isn’t it funny how someone can make the whole world disappear just by calling you? I looked over at Taec as he laid sprawled across his bed, playing a game on his phone.
   “My mom . . . she was checking up on me.”
   “Liar,” He sat up, setting his phone down. “You called him ‘hyung’ . . .” He smirked.
   I’d always been a horrible liar, why did I even try? “It was Jin-Young hyung.”
   He leaned forward, sitting on the edge of his bed and propping his chin up in his hand. “That’s odd . . . Jin-Young hyung’s never made me blush like that.” He fake pouted. “I’m jealous.”
   This guy, I swear . . . I covered my whole body with my blanket. “Leave me alone.” How childish of me.
   “I don’t want to~” I felt something at the edge of my bed, realizing a second too late that Taec was about to jump on me.
   “Yah! Get off me!” I yelled, hitting at whatever I could when I felt his giant mass covering my body.
   “Tell me what happened!” He made his demands.
   “This is so stupid! You are dumb! Just get off me!” I squirmed, trying to move his giant body off of me.
   “You know what I want, hyung . . . give me what I want and I’ll let you go.” He teased.
   Jesus ing Christ, does he REALLY think this is funny? I started hitting him furiously. “Ask your boyfriend!” I pushed him off me as hard as I could.
   He hit the floor with a loud thud. “Ouch! I already asked him, jeez!” He got off the floor, rubbing his . “You’re no fun, old man.”
   I stuck my tongue out at him, curling up with my cell phone just to be close to the panda charm.
   He chuckled at my childish behavior. “So . . . you and Rain, huh?”
   My eyes flashed up to him. “Y-Yeah . . . I mean . . . I’m not sure, yet. I don’t know . . . I think?” Hopefully. I bit my lip, realizing that I wasn’t exactly sure what I was to him. All I knew is what he was to me; he was perfect.
   Taec nodded as if he could hear my thoughts. “Well . . . don’t let Jay know, okay?”
   I rolled my eyes at the mention of our leader.
   He laughed at me. “Ara! I know, I know . . .” He sat down on the edge of my bed. “He’s got an unreasonable temper,” He nodded to his own words. “But he’s having a hard time. Things are different here than what he’s used to.”
   “I get what you’re saying – I really do – but I think this is different. Honestly.” I sighed, annoyed. “He at least treats all of you guys nicely . . . he just hates me.”
   I looked up when Taec laughed. “He doesn’t hate you.” He rethought what he said. “Okay, well maybe he hates you a little, but it’s mostly jealousy.”
   My eyebrows rose.
   “He’s had . . . a crush . . . on Rain. Like, since he’s been here.”
   “I . . . huh?” I stared in disbelief.
   “You can’t tell him I told you!” He almost shouted, looking around as if someone might hear us. “He’s not really out . . . you know, with his uality, like us.” He motioned to himself and then me.
   I shook my head. “I-Is . . . is everyone in our band gay?” He laughed at my question and I covered my mouth, embarrassed to have said it.
   “No. Khun is straight, and even Wooyoung, though he doesn’t act like it sometimes . . . he’s just close with Junho. I don’t know about maknae, he never talks about girls or guys.” He looked at me seriously. “You won’t tell anyone about Jay, will you?”
   So that cocky, irritable, leader of ours was ‘in the closet’? I wanted to kick myself for sympathizing with him but the more I thought about it, the more I remembered a time not too long ago when I was afraid to admit – even to myself – that I ‘liked’ boys in that way.
   Like when I first met Junho. It took everything I had not to flush with envy of his care-free attitude towards life. How could anyone just walk around, flaunting something that would get most people ostracized? I wished I could like who I wanted without having to worry about whether or not some random drama would start everywhere I went. I wished I could be more like Junho . . . only, less ty.
   Finally, I sighed. “I won’t tell.”
   “Thanks.” He grabbed his pillow and headed towards the door.
   “Where are you going?” I yawned, feeling the last couple days suddenly catch up to me.
   He blushed, which looked awkward on his giant figure. “Oh . . . uhh, Junho asked me to stay with him tonight.”
   I smirked. Even though they were both highly annoying on the regular, Taec and Junho made a cute couple. “Tell him I said night . . . and Woo too.” He nodded and flicked the light switch before closing the door, leaving me to sleep on my own.
   I sighed, rather happily. It was nice, being alone again. Lately I hadn’t had much alone time, I missed it. It was my time to think, and relax, and be away from the business that other people caused in my mind. I wrote poetry when I was alone. Thought of lyrics. Composed melodies.   
   Another thing I did best when I was alone. Sleep.
   I felt sleep before it had taken me, and in an instant, I was out.
   My cell phone’s alarm woke me up. I reached over blindly to silence it, pausing when I heard a groan from across the room. Taec should be in Junho’s room . . . right?
   Wooyoung rolled over in Taec’s bed.
   What the . . . ? I sighed, throwing a pillow at him. “Dongsaeng.”
   The younger boy woke up from the impact on his face. “What?!” he sat up, looking at me and pouting. “Why’d you do that?” He grumbled.
   I raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing in here?”
   “Oh,” He blushed. “J-Junho is . . . really loud.”
   I grimaced, regretting even asking. “Ew!” I needed something to distract myself from the mental images filling my head. Then I remembered why I even got up to begin with.
   That alone was all the distraction I needed.
   I jumped out of bed, grabbing my towel running for the bathroom.
   The bathroom was unoccupied, which was good since I’d given myself an hour to get dressed before Rain was supposed to pick me up. An hour was enough time. It should be enough time. I mean, how could I possibly take longer than an hour to shower and throw some clothes on?
   I went straight for the shower, using my cinnamon and sandalwood scented shampoo as body wash. I decided to shave since it’d been almost a week and what little hair I could manage to grow on my face was starting to show.
   After I was completely done I cut the shower off, grabbing my towel and glanced at the clock on the wall. Turns out I did need more than an hour to get dressed. I sighed at the ten minutes I had until noon and made my way out the bathroom, only to my head at the boisterous chorus of “whoa” coming from the living room. I crept my way to the living room, raising an eyebrow as I heard Nichkhun speak. “Whoa, you really drive a Mercedes?!”
   “Bet that is pimped out like a mofo!” Taec said.
   “Hyung, can you take us out for a drive?” Chansung asked excitedly.
   I gasped, covering my mouth an hiding back behind the wall.
   He was here.
   He was here early.
   I peeked around the wall again. He sat on the couch, while my band mates circled around the floor like a group of kids at story time. Why do they have to act like that? It’s so embarrassing! I shook my head at them all, turning to make my way back to my room before anyone could notice me.
   “Junsu,” someone’s voice said, catching everyone’s attention. I stopped dead in my tracks. “Come and say hi to your guest.” The voice said again.
    I turned around, looking past everyone’s what-the- faces at my choice of ness, staring Jaebum right in his face as he leaned against the wall with his arms folded across his chest, that same icy snarl on his face. “Don’t be rude.” He smirked, but even then, he looked disgusted.
 

To be continued . . .