"W-what?"

They were all flabbergasted with my revelation. I know at this point, I should start explaining everything to them, so I heaved a deep sigh as I fiddled with my fingers, still unable to look at them, for I was afraid of the expressions they would evoke, "I've harboured feelings for Jiyong for such a long time. Those feelings were love, and I tried to keep it as a secret... but Seunghyun found out. He was the only one who knew about all of this." I croaked, the ache in my heart starts to build up as I tried to continue with every word which felt so heavy. 

"Even with that in mind, he was still determined to pursue me, until such time that I was able to reciprocate his love."

I swallowed the lump forming in my throath, drawing another long soothing breath to calm myself. "But then... Just this month, Jiyong sent me these video messages. In it, he confessed that he liked me too, way before I did; but he wasn't able to pluck up enough courage to say it to me, because our friendship is at stake. He was scared, thinking I would not see him as more than a brother or a friend. That's why, he tried finding someone else, and in that search he has found Kiko."

"The funny thing is... when he finally found her, I ironically found myself loving him at such a wrong time." I tried to choke down the tears that were threathening to fall from my eyes.

"I don't know his motive for sending me those, but he has admitted that he still had feelings for me. There were things that happened between Jiyong and I which I never had the guts to tell." I recalled to them how when Kiko and him broke up, he kissed me, and the things that happened to us from there on. It wasn't detail by detail, but it was enough to give them the gist of the whole ordeal I had with Jiyong about our relationship – all the pretending just to not to become estranged, remaining the best of friends – and the events in between. I disclosed my innermost feelings to them with utmost effort.

"He said he was conflicted, and everything he has told me up to now was just so vague. That's why right now... I'm just in a state of emotional turmoil." I said, ending my explanation. I tried biting my inner cheek, but when I looked at their woeful expressions, I wasn't able to supress the cry anymore that's forcing it's way to be executed. Warm hugs soon enveloped me, and that feeling of solace I sought for so long was finally given. Having the sense of restraint evanesce when I told them the whole story made me feel better, as if a thorn has been plucked out of my chest.

"Oh god. I can't believe you had to go through those things and had to keep it all up until now." CL wiped the rivulet of tears cascading down my face. "It was hard digesting the information, though."

"We're happy you finally opened it up to us now, unnie." Minzy squeezed my hand and smiled. I did too, because it felt good to get it all out of my chest and to have people close to you comfort you. All the qualms I had prior to my confession went to smithereens.

"This is really unexpected that such events actually unfolded between the two of you, and you managed to keep it a total secret from everyone except Seunghyun..." Bom said and casted her gaze downwads.

"You know... somehow, I had a hunch that you guys liked each other before too, but I didn't know something was actually happening. Both of you dated other people and would vehemently deny any romantic ties." CL blurted out. I'm a little bit surprised that she subtly noticed that before.

"It really seemed like nothing happened between you two, unnie. You were able to make it appear like nothing changed and you two still got along really well... How could we not find out..." Minzy mumbled. Hearing their sentiments, I sniffed. Some brief hiccups followed, and remorse seemed to incite another sob from me. It really made me feel sorry that I didn't tell them much earlier. 

"It's not because I don't trust you guys enough. It's just that I don't want things to get any worse. I don't want you to act differently around him... just because something happened between us. I just... don't want to burden you with my share of problems."

"I understand," CL ruffled my hair. "Geez. You're way too good, unnie."

"I do get your point. I would've probably lash out at him immediately." I flinched at Bom's remarks. Seeing my expression, she took it back and sighed, "Don't worry. For you, I will not. Since you don't want us to act differently around Jiyong now that we found out, we'll do that."

"Anyway, now that you said it. This somehow explains why Tabi has said that..." Bom trailed off and I nodded in agreement. 

"Recently, I heard from Seungri that Jiyong and Tabi got into a fight. I can now be sure that the root of it is due to this, but Tabi assured me that their argument was no big deal." I explained, remembering how he tried to appear incognizant of the situation between Jiyong and I. He didn't dare to question me about it. Once again, he's trying to be more understanding about it like he usually does. Deep inside, he might actually be in distress, because I've ensconced it from him. Otherwise, he wouldn't act that way.

My heart is laden with so much rue, engulfing me with so much grief at the thought of the possible growing incertitude in him and the pain he must have felt.

I should've told him.

Silence stretched between us three until Bom opined all of the sudden, "Honestly, Jiyong is such a coward. What's up with the lame get-up? He needs to man up and should've told Dara personally what he wanted to tell her." Her outburst rendered us mum for awhile, knowing how Bom gets riled up like this, seemingly indignant.

"Jiyong-oppa must have his own reasons, unnie." Minzy countered, her eyebrows furrowing.

CL was massaging her temples before asking. "Dara, if he told it to you personally, would you have let him?" It made me ponder. Would I? Maybe. But that would be too difficult, for a lot of reasons.

I answered gingerly, "P-perhaps? I dont know for sure." I guess it would be too much for me. We might have a lot of effusive arguments, and I might not care to listen to the rest of his explanation. A part of me just wanted to leave the matters in the past since I am contented with our arrangement now, but then I couldn't deny that I'm also yearning for a little bit of shedding of light.

"See?" CL mumbled. "Confrontations are not easy. If Jiyong is not there, then Dara might be able to listen to his explantion. And Jiyong would be able to elucidate it to her well since he would be able to compose his thoughts on the video."

Bom crossed her shoulders and grimaced, "I'm not gonna buy that. Still is an act of cowardice for me. Dara is suffering alone and had to deal with these issues he has stirred up in her mind. I adore Jiyong, but what he's doing is just crossing at the line. Even though, let's say, he simply wants to tell Dara his feelings. He needs to settle once and for all if he still loves her or not."

"But he's still together with Kiko..." CL muttered, which is in fact, another bafflement.

"Exactly!" Bom snapped her fingers, proving her point. "But then having these videos suggest that he still loves Dara. He's just so confusing. I'll seriousy kick him in the balls if he's just playing around her."

"I doubt he's just playing around, unnie." Minzy responded. "However, he's not really ruining anything if he's just doing this for like closure or some sort." I nodded at Minzy in discernment. 

Maybe, he just wants us to sort it out, but is going to let bygones be bygones. I'm fine with that. But... he did say he still has feelings for me. What is he really trying to do, then? Does he just wants to confess? Is that it?

"I prefer him setting aside those selfish feelings of him because Dara now has Seunghyun. Dara's together with Tabi and if he still loves Dara,
what he says should not matter now doesn't it? He's too late." Bom said. My heart felt like it's being gripped so hard at the mention of Tabi's name. I need to apologize to him soon. I don't know if a call will do, but I think it's better to tell him personally.

"Whether or not it's too late is not for us to decide. It's up to Dara, Bom." CL retorted which made my ears perk up.

"Dara..." she called softly, placing her hand on top of mine. I raised my head up at her to meet her gaze. My heart was beating erratically because of anxiety. I didn't see this coming. "Tell us honestly... Are your feelings for him long gone or are the