Only you can decide how to accept your past.

* * *

She wheeled her chair down the hall, and searched for Taeyeon. It was unusual for her to be out of her room so frequently, but she wouldn't care less after hearing the news that Jaerim changed their room number. It’s been more than months since Jaerim had his surgery. She just want a look at his condition.

“Soeun.” A nurse approached her with those pitiful eyes again. “Are you looking for someone or are you lost?”

Soeun drained the emotions from her face. She hated this type of talk down towards her. Sure, she might be inconvenient at time, but she is not stupid. Soeun sighed and calmed herself down. “Do you know where Taeyeon is?”

“Taeyeon? The private nurse?” The woman answered. “I think she moved with her patient to the 8th floor. But I don’t think they let people in that floor so easily...” Before the woman finished talking, Soeun took off towards the elevator.

She just wanted to take one look at Jaerim. One is enough. She didn’t want to have anything to do with him after that. The past few days had been the lonelier than ever. Now she have a taste of what fun and joy feels like she became more greedy. Greedy for a friend or someone by her side.

As soon as she reached the 8th floor, she was greeted by the people at the front desk. They asked her to show identification for the 8th.

“We apologize miss, but it’s the rule. We can’t simply let anyone in.”

“I am a patient in this hospital!” Soeun threaten, “I will crawl over if you stop me.”

“Miss you are making it very difficult for us.” The woman replied and walked out from her front desk. Soeun pushed herself up from her wheelchair to prepare for the fall. The woman panic to stop her.

“Soeun. You are giving them difficult times. Little troublemaker sit back down.” A familiar voice called out. She knew it would be Taeyeon no one else would yell at her like that.

“Taeyeon. Please. I just want to...”

“I know. I know.” Taeyeon sighed. “I will bring you in but make sure his mother doesn’t see you. She is there until Jaerim get release.”

“He is going home?”Soeun questioned with shock.

Taeyeon pushed her towards the guest room and explained on the way. “He woke up two days after the surgery.” The sound of the TV washed the silence in the guest room, and they past the entrance continue down the hall.

“Is he doing well?” Soeun asked.

“Very well,” there was a paused in her words, “he lost memory.”

“Everything?”

“Everything, including you and me.” Taeyeon stopped at the end of the hall. She turned Soeun’s chair to the right hallway and walked in front of her. The expression on Soeun was easy to read, disappointment.

“I got fired by his mother already. The rest is up to you now. His room is the second one. You can past the large window and take a look at him, but don’t expect anything.” Taeyeon instructed.

“I never expected anything.” Soeun rolled her wheelchair forward, but came to a fast stop.

Taeyeon watch the girl’s back turned to her. “Thank you.” The simple smile lighted up on Taeyeon’s face. She turned away from the hallway and walked away.

“Good luck. Soeun.”

Only you can decide how to accept your past.

* * *
 

Soeun wheeled herself slowly past the window. When she realize Jaerim was sitting on his bed reading a book in his hand. His long hair had been gone and a black knitted cap is hovering over his head. He looked much healthier and awake. She observed his fingers flipping the page. The sunlight shine into his room and outline his side profile. This is the same kid she met on the rooftop. She smiled at the sight.

“Who are you?” A woman’s voice echoed down the hallway. Her high pitched shocked Soeun out of the magical scene. Without turning around, Soeun quickly rolled her wheelchair down the hall. However, the woman caught up to her.

As soon as she was spinned around, she saw the woman’s face changed drastically. She knitted her brows tightly on her forehead and her neck to ear flushed with redness and veins. Just like a monster, her teeth were shown through her yelling. Soeun feel her arms lost its strength and heartbeat became faster and louder against her ears. Just like a monster’s prey, she started to became weaker and weaker.

“YOU !” The woman grabbed her by the collar and lifted her up from her wheelchair. Soeun felt her fear creep in from the spine. The horror on her face can not be easily erased.

“YOU RUINED MY LIFE!” The woman thrown Soeun against the ground. Soeun only realized that she was crying, after she saw her tears splashed against the floor.

“We could have owned that company! Do you feel no shame! To show up and look at him!” The woman shaken with anger. “He had a bright future! YOU TOOK IT AWAY FROM US! YOU FOX!” The woman taken aback by her own rise of high pressure. She took a few step back and lean against the wall from the overwhelming anger.

“Mom.”

Soeun broke away from the situation as soon as she heard Jaerim’s voice. She got back to the chair with quick and shaking speed. Her back facing both.

“Mom, are you ok?” The Jaerim took his mother by the hand and supported her into his hospital room. He took a peek at the girl down the hallway.

The fragile body shaking quietly in the dark, out of the shining sun. Her back seems tiny and cold. After letting his mother sit down, he quickly turned back out. The girl moved her weak arms to wheel her chair towards the end of the hall.

He stood in the middle of the hall, bare feet, unsure why he felt a sense of urge to chase after her.  

But he didn’t.

* * *
 

“Mom.” Soeun called as her mother enter the room. “I...” She stared at her mother with swollen eyes. “I just...” Her mother quickly sense the sadness from her daughter.

“What’s wrong?”

As if the words were the hammer against the ice wall, tears streamed down her face again. “I just need a hug.” Soeun mumbled under her cry. Before the words were even said, her mother already had her thin arms open for an embrace.

She run her hand against her daughter’s long hair, and add a few on her back to comfort her. “What happen?”

“I think I had done something wrong.” Soeun projected.

“You done nothing wrong.” Her mother comforted.

“I think...” Soeun replied. “I am going to start the walk tomorrow.”

Her mother pulled away and looked at her with delight on her face. “I will called your dad.” Her mother pulled the phone out of her pocket.

“And maybe...” Soeun continue. “I want to go back to school.”

“Of course!” Her mother smiled and laughed in excitement. “This is great! Soeun!” She hugged her daughter one last time and exited the room for a phone call.

She won’t try to look for her past anymore.

Her theory was right. She had something to do with Jaerim’s accident and seeing Jaerim’s mother even confirm it more. Right, she was scared by Jaerim’s mother, but she was more afraid she had been the one who ruined Jaerim’s life.

She might have been the one who shutted him down in this cage.

Even more...

She might have been the trash who wanted to kill herself to escape from guilt.

Her parent were right.

Taeyeon was right.

The past will hurt her.

Is this her Karma?

* * *

*6 months later*

“Alright class, we have a new student.” The teacher stood up from his desk. “She had been held back a year because of some personal issues, so please take care of her. Soeun come in.” The man signals.

Soeun fixed her hair and step into the classroom. “I am Kim Soeun. Nice to meet you.”

"Would you like to show Soeun how to get around here, Daily President?" The teacher instructed.

"Sure." A familiar sound responded.

"I am Jaerim. Your tour guide for today. Nice to meet you." 

The name she had missed so much. She lifted her head slowly and scanned her eyes across the room, and there he was. Standing by the window and had his curious eyes casted upon her. She had switched high school and home, but some how they met again.

Tied by the rope of fate.