“I only know this for sure.” She said to Soeun, “You will only hurt yourself by digging further into your own past.”

* * *

“Move out the way!” The nurse screamed as the stretcher slide off the ambulance. A bunch of doctors and nurses rushed to Jaerim’s side. Another nurse took a wheelchair to greet Soeun. She was asked with a bunch of question about how she was feeling. Soeun wasn’t able to even notice anything except for Jaerim.

 

“Is he going to be already?” She asked again and again.

 

“I don’t know, Sweetie.” The nurse replied as she pushed Soeun into the emergency waiting room. “Your parents will be here soon. I will get Doctor Lee to doubt check on your body condition.”

 

Nothing went into Soeun mind the moment she saw Taeyeon ran into the waiting room. Her eyes glanced around the room and finally caught Soeun. With fast steps, she reached her and kneel to her level.

 

“Are you feeling alright?”

 

Soeun nodded and with tears in her eyes, she grabbed on to Taeyeon’s arms. Her face broke down with emotions. “Something is wrong with Jaerim,” She cried.

 

“Listen. He will be ok.” Taeyeon comforted.

 

“It’s all my fault!” Soeun clenched her teeth. “I should have known not to bring him out. I am sorry. Please save him! What is happening to him?”

 

“Soeun.” Taeyeon hugged her calmly. “Don’t worry. I will take all the consequences. You just remember one thing. Stay away from Jaerim’s family.”

 

“But I did...”

 

“No. You didn’t. I did wrong. If you appear in front of them, you will never be able to see him again. Ok?” Taeyeon smooth the hair on Soeun’s head. Soeun nodded with guilt.

 

“You parents will come and take you back to your room soon. Just remember. He will be ok.” Taeyeon wipes the tears under Soeun’s eyes.

 

“Please tell me when he wakes up.” Soeun requested. Taeyeon just stood up and looked at her, but without another word she walked towards the emergency room.

* * *
 

“We hired you to watched him!” The woman swings the purse towards Taeyeon and eventually throws it on the ground. She slapped Taeyeon’s face, but Taeyeon only kept her emotionless face on.

 

“Now what are we going to do!” She cried and sat on the ground. Taeyeon try to pull her up, but the woman pushed her away. “It’s over now! The company is going to his half-brother!” Taeyeon couldn’t help the disgusted expression from showing on her face.

 

“Mrs. Lim. He is going to wake up.” Taeyeon replied.

 

The woman shouted even louder, “It’s you !” She grabbed Taeyeon by the neck. “You try to ruin my chance of luxury.” The nurses that just exist the emergency room quickly adopted to the situation and pulled Taeyeon away from the crazy woman.

 

“Mrs. Lim. Please calm down!” One of them comforted. “He is still alive!”

 

“He is?” The crazy beast questioned.

 

“Yes, but he is a bit unstable.”

 

“Is he still stupid?” The woman asked shamelessly.

 

“Well. The doctors are discussing to have another surgery on him. It might affect his memories and his neural system.”

 

“Good. Good. That means we have a chance.” The woman smiled greedily. She turned towards Taeyeon again, “I will let you slide this time. Inform me when his surgery is scheduled.” The woman pulled herself back up and fixed her hair and dress.

 

“Aren’t you going to pay Jaerim a visit?” Taeyeon offered.

 

“Just send me a message when he wakes up. I will come when I have time.” The woman s out the hospital door as fast as her changing face.

 

For the past ten years of her career, she had never met any parent like that. Sometime she even have the urge to claim child neglection against Jaerim’s parents, but she knew Jaerim would have never want that.

* * *
 

She lay on her bed and staring at the clock that ticks in rhythm. It’s 8:35 p.m, and it’s been 50 hours since Jaerim went into a coma. It’s also been 50 hours since she stopped talking. She is just afraid to be left alone again. Usually, Jaerim would sneak in with some kind of new toys in his hand by now.

 

The door slide opened, and Soeun quickly pushed herself up. Her disappointment must have been written on her face.

 

Taeyeon sighed and step in the door, “Pretty disappointed that I wasn’t Jaerim, uh?”

 

“Did he wake up?” Soeun asked with concern.

 

“No, but I think he need someone to talk to him.” She suggested and lean against the door. “Will you take my request and visit him today?”

 

“But his family would see me.” Soeun said confusingly, “I thought they don’t like me.”

 

“No one visited.” Taeyeon replied. There was a moment of silence between them. Maybe it was for the sake of the pity and sympathy. Soeun agreed and as Taeyeon pushed her down the hallway towards Jaerim’s room. She couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky she is. Jaerim has nothing and not even the ability to understand his situation. His illness might be a bless and a curse.

 

As Soeun arrived, she only saw machines and plastic tubes surrounding Jaerim. The sound of the machines reflected his heartbeats. The other machine breathed for him. She wheeled herself closer to him and found his cold hand under blanket. She held his hand with both of hers.

 

“We promised each other to go back. Keep fighting.” She heard herself said.

 

“I should have never brought you there.” Her emotion attacks her. The image of him fainting replayed in her head. The true helplessness she felt the moment he hit the ground all came back to her. “I am sorry.”

 

She looked at his peaceful face for an answer, but it was too naive of her to dream of that.

 

“You are my first and only friend. I command you to wake up.” She said with anger, but nothing responded. She sighed heavily and quickly realize her situation. This is not some kind of fairytale. He wouldn’t just wake up because she wants him to.

 

For the next few days, she came visit Jaerim everyday. Within those days, she told him stories of how she recovered from her coma. She read stories from online and at times she even complain about her nurses. Jaerim eventually became the recorder of her dairy. Sometimes, she just sits there and stare at Jaerim’s face.

 

His beauty is truly admirable. As if he had been painted into the scene, at times she couldn’t even look away. If only they didn’t met at a hospital, they could have a different life or even a different relationship.

 

He could have been a model with that height and face feature.

 

What had happen to him to lock his true beauty into this cage?

 

“He is the heir of the Lim Corporation.” One morning Taeyeon decided to tell Soeun about Jaerim’s past.

 

“The Lim Corporation?” She asked in disbelieve.

 

“Yes. His family is hiding the fact of his accident, so his half-brother won’t take his position.” Taeyeon explained.

 

Soeun held Jaerim’s hand and couldn’t help to feel sorry for him.

 

“His mother didn’t care much. She just wish him to gain his memories back.” Taeyeon continued.

 

“I have a lot of questions. I understand that you might not be able to give me all the answers.” Soeun locked her eyes with Taeyeon. “You don’t have to answer me if you can’t.”

 

“Ok. What is your questions?” Taeyeon sat down on the visitor chair. Soeun turned her wheelchair facing Taeyeon.

 

“Is my past linked with Jaerim’s?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“So he knows me before both of us had lost our memories?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Did...” Soeun paused for a long time. She hesitated for a moment and bit her teeth tight.

 

“Did I caused his accident?”

 

Taeyeon suddenly had a change of expression. Her surprised expression couldn’t be easily hidden as the other ones. As if she was looking a excuse, she stood up from the chair and laughed nervously.

 

“Don’t just blame everything toward yourself. You and he just goes to the same high school. That’s all I know.”

 

Soeun keep her eyes on Taeyeon’s every movement. She is a bit unsatisfied with the answer she had received, but it would be rude of her to force Taeyeon to tell her everything. The room became quiet for a second. Taeyeon standing beside Jaerim’s bed. She checked his temperature and turned back to Soeun again.

 

“I only know this for sure.” She said to Soeun, “You will only hurt yourself by digging further into your own past.”

 

Soeun cracked out a light sarcastic laugh, “I am already hurt.” Taeyeon’s eyes soften. “The day I met Jaerim. I was attempting to leave the world.” The listener’s eyebrow furrowed. “Of course, this idiot gave me the most interesting question ever.” Soeun laughed.

 

“So Taeyeon. Our big sister.” Soeun wheeled her chair closer to her. “You can tell me. I won’t get hurt.”

 

Taeyeon sighed, “You kids are going to make me lose my job.”

 

“Listen. You and Jaerim are not...”

 

“Soeun-ay.” The weak voice called for her name.

 

Soeun’s full attention quickly turned towards Jaerim. Her lips curved up into a smile and wheeled her chair towards him. She held his hand and bring open a wide smile. Taeyeon exclaimed in excitement and run out the get the doctor.

 

“Are you feeling ok?” Soeun asked.

 

“Do you remember who I am?”

 

“You scared me.” She continued.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me about your condition before hand?”

 

Jaerim poured at her non-stop questions. “Jaerim is sorry.” His expression slowly sink into a frown and tears swell into his eyes. “Jaerim ruined your day.”

 

“No. You didn’t.” Soeun panicked. “Stop crying!”

 

Jaerim sniffed and relaxed quietly.

 

“As long as you are back, it’s alright with me.” She smiled.

 

“Okay.” Jaerim responded with a bright smile again.

* * *

As the doctors arrived, Taeyeon pushed Soeun back to her room. Soeun couldn’t stop biting her fingernails to ease her anxiety. Now that Jaerim is awake, it means that he will receive the surgery earlier. Taeyeon quickly picked up the clue from Soeun. She stopped the wheelchair on the side of the hall and walked in front of the young girl.

 

Taeyeon kneel down to Soeun’s level. “Why are you so worried?”

 

Soeun scanned her eyes on Taeyeon surprised that she was able to read her mind. “I am scared. If he received his surgery, he will wake up as another person.” She paused and looked down on her hands. “But... I know he need this surgery to save him.”

 

Taeyeon didn’t have another to comfort her young patient, but she only nodded in agreement. She is also concern that Jaerim might not even remember the happy memories as the innocent 8 year old.

 

“Do you want to come on the day of his surgery?” Taeyeon asked softly.

 

“His family...” Soeun hesitated.

 

“Don’t worry.” Taeyeon shakes her head. “They won’t come.”

 

Soeun nodded.

 

“You really grew attached to him.” Taeyeon smiled and patted Soeun on the head. Tears stream down Soeun’s cheeks and splashed against her fingers. It was the first time she wants to have best friend, wants to go explore and wants to be a teenage.

* * *
 

“Friend!” Jaerim shouted as Soeun wheel herself into his room. His voice slightly cracked and a little bit out of breath. “What do we do today? Should we go and fly the plane? Or maybe we can go to the park? Or...”

 

“Calm down, kid.” Soeun hissed. “How can you still be so excited when you are sick?”

 

Jaerim gave out a short laugh. He was laying on the bed still with transparent tubes wrapped around his bed and to his veins. His bed is basically surrounded by machines and medical liquid bags. When Soeun took a closer look at his face, she noticed his pale gray lips, his pop cheekbones, and his hollow eyes. As if he had been eaten away by some kind of monster, he became weaker. His thin arm still held on the plane remote.

 

“Soeun, you can have my model plane.” Jaerim said suddenly.

 

“I don’t want it.” Soeun attempt to play cool.

“Jaerim wants you to have it.” He reannounced. As if he understood the meaning of his surgery, his eyes resonated an aura of sadness. She received the remote from his hand.

 

If she can control her future, it would have been a great gift.

 

“It’s time.” Taeyeon entered the door with her blue scrub and a bunch of other nurses. “Soeun would you like to accompany us?”

 

As they were pushing the bed into the elevator, Soeun followed. No one said another word. As the elevator brings in different visitors, the calm atmosphere didn’t get broken. Jaerim was staring at Soeun the whole time. After the visitors existed, he finally asked if she can hold his hand.

 

They held hand as the elevator reach it designated floor. Taeyeon pushed Soeun as the rest of the team pushed Jaerim’s bed. The two sicklings were wheeled down the hallway towards the surgery room.

 

“Best friend.” He said in a weak voice. “Jaerim is scared.”

 

“It’s ok. Your best friend is here. No one will hurt you.” She smiled. “We promised to go back.”

 

“Yes!” He smiled.

 

“You will become better.” She encouraged as they come to a stop.

 

“And you will still be Jaerim’s best friend?”

 

“I will always be your best friend.” Soeun brushed the hair away from his face.

 

“We will have to go in.” One of the nurse announced. Jaerim wasn’t willing to let go of his hand, but his strength was no match to the group of people. Finally, the two hand slipped away. He lifted his head and watched Soeun sitting in the empty hallway alone with the same expression. The door slide closed between them.

 

“Goodbye, Jaerim.” She mumbled under her tears.