A few days later:

With a handful of bagged groceries, I make a hefty way up a rather steep slope to my house that rests on the top of the street with just one other house beside it. Young teenaged schoolgirls, dressed in their unison grey uniforms, rush past me in lightening speed shouting, “BTS! BTS! BTS!” They’re holding up huge signs plastered with the BTS member’s faces and captions written, ‘WE LOVE YOU!’ or ‘MARRY ME!’ 

In a short distance, I see the camera crew huddling around, holding filming equipment. There are policemen and security guards with their arms spread wide, blocking the fascinated ajummah’s and the love-struck fan girls from intruding the shoot. The girls are making a ruckus but soon quiet down, startled by a familiar male voice booming. “JUNGKOOK!!” The voice echoes and the victim, himself, Jungkook, makes an appearance—flashing fast past me. Even then, his citrusy yet warm odor makes a short appearance. Suga, dressed in a navy schoolboy uniform, catches up to Jungkook and pins him strongly yet gently against the street wall. “Jungkook,” Suga starts. “Don’t run away from what we can be.” Suga grabs Jung Kook’s chin, making the maknae stare longingly into Suga’s sweet eyes. The girls squeal from the sidelines.

“Hy--ung…” Jung Kook murmurs as his big doe eyes start to fill up with sparkling tears. Suga puts his index finger unto Jung kook’s soft and tender lips.

“What if I said I love you?” I gag from the sidelines—knowing how many times Suga had to rehearse that with me over and over again. Jung kook and Suga continue to stare into each other’s eyes with the cheesiest of cheeses. 

“Aaannnd cut!!” The director shouts. The crewmembers clap, ecstatic to conclude the end of their shoot for the day. The fan girls scream out of sheer delight. The ajummah’s squirm and hustle as they try to maneuver their way past the screaming fans and the bulky security guards so they can move on with the rest of their day.

I, too, try to scramble away when I feel a gentle but firm tug onto my shirt. I look at the fingertips that are grasping tightly. Suga, sweating from the summer heat and all day acting, manages to find me in the midst of the crowd.

“Hey,” he says, hastily. He’s slightly smiling, as if he’s happy to see me. I look around and start to expect others around me to say something.

“Hyung!” Jung Kook calls out to Suga. Suga, still not letting go of my shirt, turns his face toward Jung Kook, revealing his smooth and slender neck. Jung Kook, also sweating from his earlier runaway act from Suga, is now running towards us. “Hyung! Fan service is a bit later! Excuse me while I steal him away for a little while. I hope to see you soon at the signing, though!” Jung Kook smiles his prince-like smile and drags Suga away, making him let go of my shirt. ‘That smooth kid. No wonder he’s known as the Golden Maknae’ I think as the two run off to the director. I, also, turn away to make the rest of my hefty trip up to my house.

Later that night—10:09pm:

SLURP. The piping hot ramen noodles slide down my throat, filling up my empty stomach.

KNOCK. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

I look at the time, knowing it’s a bit too late for anyone to come but I know that knock. Suga, standing on the other side of the doorway, holds up a bagful of food. He walks past me into my house saying, “In exchange for letting me stay here for the night, I brought you a little something.” He takes off his sneakers at the entrance like he has done many years before. “It’s been three years since I’ve been here but nothing has changed!” He takes a leap, falling into my leather couch.

“What are you doing?” I ask, as he now sits up from the couch.

“Let me stay here for the night.” He grabs a pillow and snuggles with it.

“What?! Yoon Gi, get out of here. Won’t your managers worry about you if you just disappear in the middle of the night?!”

“They’re right next door. I can just head out in the morning. They won’t know I’m gone.”

“What do you mean right next door? They’re at your house?”

“Not by my choice! The managers and the boys all thought it’d be a grand idea for them to see where I grew up and stuff. Seriously, no privacy at all ever since I joined BTS.” SLURP. Suga inhales my ramen resting on the coffee table in front of the couch.

“You don’t say…” I stare at him eat.

“Come on, Tae Hee—I’ve been stuck with these guys for the past couple of years day and night, eating, sleeping, dancing, singing, acting, pissing!” Yoon Gi takes another huge bite. “I never thought I’d say this but—“ He stops eating and stares into my eyes with full attention and says, “I just want to take a long good crap in peace and quiet for once.” His already pale face is looking even paler—white as snow. I sigh, giving in, and take a seat next to him. Suga, smiling, starts taking the kimbab out from the plastic bag he brought in. “I knew you’d be doing this, Tae Hee. Just because your parents are overseas doesn’t mean you should eat ramen day and night. When are they coming back next?” Yoon Gi hands me a pair of chopstick he broke perfectly in half. “I should greet them when I have a chance.” Suga stuffs a kimbab into his mouth. I hold onto the chopsticks, staring at it.

I mummer. “They’re not coming back.” Suga looks over at me with a mouthful of kimbab. I take a quick glance at him but avoid his eyes as I state the rest. “They passed away.” Suga stops chewing.

That moment, it felt as if the world stopped moving.