Falling to Pieces
UnexpectedEveryone takes turns giving each other blank glances, unsure of the situation. Jinhwan seemed to be the only person clicking as he cracks a laugh trying to cover Hanbin's actions, Bobby slowly copying him after catching on.
"Hanbin-ah, go rest up I think I'll take care of these kids" he suggests
but Hanbin doesn't budge, filtering everything out, his eyes still on you as if in a trance before Chanwoo's hand taps at his shoulder.
"Hanbin?" He ask, pulling him back.
He shakes himself awake as he lets go of your wrist, obeying Jinhwan's words and heads out the door without a word. You contemplated on whether you should follow him or not before Jinhwan gives you a look, already deciding for you. You gesture the guys a goodbye before following him out.
......
It was a while before you found him in one of the dark studios, his headphones in his ears as he nods to the beat like a habit. You walk in, tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention before placing yourself on the couch to his right. He turns his body to you, pulling his headphones out.
"Why?" He asks, you could tell he wanted to be alone, but you also knew leaving a person like Hanbin alone meant he would keep all his worries and concerns to himself until he explodes again.
"When are you leaving for Thailand?" You ask, bringing up a subject to talk about.
"...Ally, I need space to breathe..could you leave?" He asks with a tiresome sigh. You ignore him, knowing for sure that's not what he means.
"We don't have to talk about work then." You suggest, "Have you tried the drinks at the new cafe down the road yet?" You ask enthusiastically, wanting to at least attempt to put a smile on his face as you play with the rubber band you had found on the small coffee table to your side.
After a while of no reply you look up at him, a sudden feeling of uneasiness hanging over you. Hanbin's face seemed angry, his eyes piercing into yours.
"You really don't feel anything?" He suddenly asks you, his tone as if unable to understand your unchanging attitude towards him after what happened between you two.
"What do you mean..?" Your enthusiastic smile fading as you begin to realise what he was talking about.
"Why don't you yell or scream or tell me what I did was wrong?" He asks, "I ...I can't do it...I can't pretend that it didn't happen. I tried to when I asked for you to come back but it's useless" he admits, you could tell he was frustrated with himself.
"Hanbin it's not-"
"From now on.. Let's just forget each other ..at least until I can sort my feelings out.."he reluctantly asks of you. You sit back from him, somehow a sense of betrayal rushes over you.
"Why does it have to be hard?" You ask after registering what he had said. "Why do you have to be like this?"
Hanbin looks at you with a look you couldn't make out before suddenly standing up from his seat with a sigh as he runs his hand through his hair, frustrated.
"Because I'm me..because I have this job. You can't understand and you won't. It's better for you if you stay away from me, before both of us ends up getting hurt"
You rise from your seat to level up to him. Looking at all the sleepless nights he's had written all over his face as you reach your hand forward to grasp his arm in an attempt to comfort all the insecurities he was having before he suddenly takes a step back, determined to rid any feelings he had for you.
"Don't" he sternly tells you causing your hand to slowly drop back down obediently, not wanting to push him off the edge. This was the first time you've seen him as serious as this, as determined as this. You didn't want to see him hurt by himself, you didn't like his idea one bit but you didn't know what else you could do to ease his pain. You decide to copy his actions, also taking a step back as a signal to say that you'll agree to what he had said. You decide to leave the suffocating room first, leaving him alone like he had wanted.
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"He was totally drunk!!" Jinhwan laughs, hitting Bobby on the back. Everyone had gathered in the meeting room with all the black couches the next morning. You sit in between Junhoe and Donhyuk as they continue laughing at Jinhwan's story. Suddenly a few people began to cease their laughter before the whole room goes silent.
"Uh? ..Miyeon? ...What are you and Hanbin doing together?" Junhoe asks first, noticing her unusually wide smile.
"Hanbin bought this..cute right?" She smiles, pointing to the teddy in her hand. You look over at it, your smile vanishes as a blank expression replaces it.
"Right~?" Miyeon repeats herself, emphasising her words, aiming the question at you as no answer escaped the guys.
"Mm...cute" you nod half heartedly, forcing any attached emotions to leave your system.
"Oh Hanbin, I didn't know you had this side to you" Yunhyung teases, Donhyuk and Chanwoo joining in, they were the most clueless of them all, not registering the situation.
You glance over at him who avoided all eye contact with you, almost acting as if you were invisible to him, you guess Hanbin really was going to go along with what he said after all.
"We're going to go try the drinks at the new cafe down the road, wanna come?" Miyeon smiles as she scans the room for participant before stopping at you.
"Come on Ally, why the sad face? You look like you need a drink" Miyeon's nasty tone finally returning as she walks up to you, grasping your hands in hers.
"Uh..actually I think I need a drink too" Bobby suddenly blurts out, knowing for sure you weren't comfortable as he reaches to grab your hand back from Miyeon. "I'll take care of this" he says, clasping your hand in his, holding it as if it was something precious.
"Fine" Miyeon shrugs. You turn your head to look at Hanbin who now has both his hand shoved in his pocket, trying his best to look away from what Bobby was doing.
"Let's stop wasting time" Hanbin finally utters, taking his hand out of his pocket to scratch his eyebrows, almost as if annoyed.
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"Here's your frappe" Bobby smiles, putting it down in front of you. He places himself beside you on the seats, Hanbin and Miyeon on the other side.
"I heard you guys are going to Thailand soon?" Miyeon asks as she sips on her juice.
"Yeah, in 2 or 3 weeks" Bobby replies, causing a bigger grin to appear on her face.
"Ally, doesn't that mean you'll be gone by the time they get back?"
You look at her, reminded that you really did only have a few weeks left on the contract. Hanbin pauses what he was doing, looking up at you with a confused expression, finding out for the first time you were under that sort of contract.
"Actually, now that we're here, why don't you guys confess your secrets to her too, your time with each other won't be long anyways"
You turn to both Bobby and Hanbin, flustered. What was she talking about? What secret were they hiding??
Bobby looks down at the table first, unable to meet eyes with you. Hanbin on the other hand glaring at Miyeon, angry she'd even bring it up.
"Guys...what is she talking about?" You let out a nervous laugh, grabbing onto Bobby's arm to make him turn to you, but he doesn't, guilt filling him up.
"If you guys don't tell her, I will.." Miyeon teases nastily as she plays with the emotions of everyone on that table.
"Cut it out Miyeon" Hanbin growls her way, pissed that she'd even stoop that low.
You were still confused and unsure as you observe the faces of the guys. Hanbin growing angrier by the second as Bobby continues to avoid all eye contact with you. The atmosphere of the table becoming heated with both anxiety and confusion.
Miyeon doesn't flinch from Hanbin's warnings, knowing he would never lay a finger on a girl. She had nothing to loose, her relationship with him was beyond mendable.
"Don't you wonder why everyone was so welcoming of you? Especially the ikon guys??" She asks, leading you onto think. You loosen your hand on Bobby's arms, feeling something wasn't right.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Don't be so clueless Ally.." Miyeon continues, "You know how afraid the managers were of you blabbing your mouth off about that incident?.. Lee was going to lose his job if it got leaked to the media, that's why he was so desperate for you to come to our side, even giving your friend a job. "
"That doesn't mean anything" you try to defend what little trust you had left in everything you've known.
"Oh, but it really does" Miyeon mocks you,
"I told you to stop" Hanbin butts in, grabbing onto her arm, his breathing becoming heavier.
Miyeon gives him a reassured look, ignoring his request as she continues.
"They were told to act like this to you." She lets out, "This was all a lie to keep you on our side. Them greeting you with all those sweet words, the games they played, the way they held you, Everything" she declares.
You look at them, numb and speechless.
"Ally, we can explain.." Bobby finally utters, breaking his silence, his whole body now turned to face you.
You couldn't look at them, not now, not like this. Not when you felt so many emotions taking over you all at once, not when your brain is too meshed up with all the thoughts of the past 2 months. It was all a lie, a lie to keep you quiet, a lie to make sure you trusted them.
You abruptly push yourself off the seat, you were about to cry but not in front of these people, not like this. You turn away from them as fast as you could, finding the exit of the small cafe. Hanbin stood up almost immediately, wanting to stop you from leaving those doors, Bobby right behind him but they knew they had no right...not when everything was beginning to crumble.......
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