(Jungkook's POV)

The next morning had arrived and I was still awake... Or maybe, I fell asleep not too long ago, but woke up as soon as sunlight bled into the room from the window on my side of the bed... I'm not really sure because I guess I'm so sleep deprived?

As much as I wanted to leave his bed last night, I couldn't, because I really wanted to stay with him, so I could observe him quietly, hold his hand, and make sure he's okay.

I honestly didn't think that I'd ever get another chance so sleep with him, and most importantly hold his hand. And just the feeling of holding his hand made my heart race. I was joyous, except for the times where it would appear as if he might die.

I watched as his fragile and weak body, rose and fell, with each shallow breath that he took. Sometimes I would watch as he woke up during the night, because was uncomfortable from sweating too much. He took off his shirt, pants, and even threw the blanket off his bed.

I sighed quietly as I thought about Rap Monster. I was kind of upset at myself for all the trouble and stress I've caused him... I yelled at him yesterday and at the hospital shortly after he woke up.

I just need to give up on being more than a maknae... I'm not doing anything for anyone or myself by trying to be something I'm not. I'm just a horrible, selfish person, and how am I supposed to say I love Rap Monster if I cause him so much pain?

Rap Monster: Yah, Jungkook...

I jumped from hearing his dry and weak voice. It was probably a terrible idea, to still be in bed with him... I felt him place his hands on my back. He groaned as he started to forcefully push me off his bed.

Rap Monster: Get out of my room, or else...

Jungkook: N-Namjoon!

I gasped as he pushed me off his bed, then I grunted upon hitting the floor.

Rap Monster: Out of my room, now!

Jungkook: Okay, okay! I'm sorry!

I got up so quickly that I ran into the wall, before actually making it out of his room. I sighed as I as carried on into the living room. I yawned and rubbed my eyes upon noticing the other members, formed in a circle around Manager Kim. What were they up to?

Jungkook: Hey guys...

I greeted the other members in a groggy voice, but they didn't even notice me, then I suddenly realised that the members were creating a ruckus about Rap Monster.

Jin: Yah, Manager Kim, why won't you tell us what's wrong with Namjoon!?

Suga: Stop hiding ! He's sick and we don't know why!

J-Hope: We deserve to know what's wrong with him!

Jimin: ......

V: Do you think we can't handle what's going on with Namjoon!?

Manager Kim: It's n-not your business dammit!

Jin: Why isn't it huh!?

Suga: Let me guess, we are just like the maknae to you, huh? Too young to understand anything?

I gasped at Suga's comment, but I quickly let it go. I just had to wonder, am I really too young to understand anything? Is that really how they view me?

J-Hope: We care about Namjoon you know! If we knew what was wrong with him, we could probably help him!

Manager Kim: Aigoo...

As much as I wanted to jump in, and figure out what was wrong with Rap Monster too, I was in no place to be apart of this mess...

I sadly observed the other members for a few more minutes before deciding to return to my room. I slowly walked back to my room, then I paused at the sound of sobbing and sniffling, coming from Rap Monster's room.

Rap Monster: This isn't fair! Why me? After all these years of doctors telling me, low blood cell counts, damaged bone marrow, increased abnormal white blood cells... It's come to this?

What? What does all that mean? Some sort of blood disease? Rap Monster, what's going on?

I quietly made my way to Rap Monster's room, but I made my presence known by standing in the doorway. He just stared at me with tears rolling down his face onto the floor. I teared up because it was such a depressing sight. I've never seen the leader so upset about something before... Was it, because of what I said at the hospital?

Jungkook: Are you okay?

Rap Monster: ......

He sighed as he got up from his bed slowly. He dragged himself over to me, then he forced me out of his way. I tried to relax, but I couldn't... He wasn't acting himself, at all... I followed him back to the living room and I watched him carefully.

Jungkook: N-Namjoon!

He quickly got the other members' attention with all the tears pouring from his eyes. Everyone immediately got silent and we watched him closely.

He took a deep breath and exhaled.

Rap Monster: I'm not okay! I'm sick! I'm dying! I ing have leukemia! Now leave me alone!

Everyone gasped, but Rap Monster left no one time to ask him questions, as he rushed back to his room in tears. I quickly followed him, then I paused as he turned around to face me.

I became frightened, because he was surely mad at all of us, especially me. I looked at the floor as I backed away from him. He got closer to me, and I hit the wall. I wasn't sure what to do now, I couldn't escape at this point. My heart was beating loudly, as the blood circulating in my body, rushed.

Rap Monster: You know, I don't have much time, Jungkook...

Jungkook: ...

Rap Monster: And I know you love me...

Jungkook: ..........

He put his hands on my shoulders, and held me against the wall, his face got closer as our eyes met.

Rap Monster: I don't know what I'm doing, but let's make this work...

He leaned in closely, and I felt his warm breath on my lips.

Jungkook: Namjoo-