(Rap Monster's POV)

I had awaken from my unconscious state to an unfamiliar place. My tired eyes slowly opened, revealing at first, a blur of color and shapes, then focused to make out a small, dimly lit hospital room, with medical professionals in their scrubs and white face mask.

This was a prison I was all too familiar with, I'm pretty sure they've had enough time to look through my medical history and pin point the obvious cause for why I was here.

Of course I wasn't exactly sure how I got here, other than my illness but another one of my episodes was most likely to blame. But I still had to ask that one question most disoriented people ask.

Rap Monster: H-How did I get here?

I was still drunk from my coma like state, but my body was more fatigued than usual, and I felt nauseous. I tried my best to sit up in the uncomfortable hospital bed, but this effort proved harder than I thought. Although I was conscious now, the rest of my body, wasn't with my mind, therefore, it took me a moment to move around or even speak.

The medical professionals quickly took notice of my sudden consciousness and rushed over to my bedside asking me all sorts of questions.

Are you okay?

How do you feel?

Do you remember what happened?

Are you in pain?

As annoying as this was, I was used to this game of 20 Questions. Because of my treatments in the past, I was always asked these questions, but this time, the tone of these people were frantic and stressed. It's like I was dying to them.

Which, suddenly reminded me of Jungkook... For whatever reason, Jungkook was clouding my mind at the thought of death. He must have been the last person I interacted with before this whole mishap.

Rap Monster: ...

They kept on with the questions...

I ignored them and stared off into the distance of the room, hoping I'd see Manager Kim or the other members. At first, I saw no one, then Manager Kim filled up my view. He came closer until he was at my bedside.

The doctors and nurses dispersed, and only a few stayed to monitor my condition.

Manager Kim: Namjoon...

Rap Monster: M-Manager Kim...

I saw a distraught man, who had dealt with the demons of stress all too much. This time he was fighting with mine. He took a deep breath as he crossed his arms and looked coldly into my eyes.

Manager Kim: You're in the hospital.

Rap Monster: Go figure.

Manager Kim: You had another fainting episode...

Rap Monster: ...

As I expected, these random blackouts were becoming frequent, and extremely dangerous. That's a clear sign that my health is deteriorating.

Rap Monster: Damn...

Manager Kim: Are you alright? Your skin looks awfully pale...

Rap Monster: I'm okay, aside from the fatigue and lightheadedness. And it's pallor...

Recently, my skin had started to become pale. I just looked ill and miserable during the day. Honestly, some days I'd have fevers and not tell anyone.

Manager Kim: Hm.

Rap Monster: Where are the others?

Manager Kim: They're in the waiting room, and Jungkook is worried sick about you.

Rap Monster: Oh, can I see them?

Manager Kim: Hmm, I don't know. Are you well enough?

Rap Monster: Yes.

Manager Kim: Let me ask the doctor.

Manager Kim let out a heavy sigh as he dragged himself over to the doctor that had been observing my vitals by machine.

They both conversed in low volume for about a minute, then the doctor walked over to me. Manager Kim bowed and exited the room.

The doctor took a deep breath, and gave me a serious look. I sighed and looked away.

Doctor: How are you feeling Namjoon?

Great, more questions, just what I needed.

Rap Monster: Weak, tired, dizzy...

Doctor: As expected. Do you know what happened?

Rap Monster: I passed out.

Doctor: From what your medical history tells me, this isn't the first time this has happened.

Rap Monster: Yeah, I know.

Doctor: You also had treatments for your-

Rap Monster: C-Can I see my friends now?

Doctor: Well, I need to ask you a few questions.

Rap Monster: But you already did!

Doctor: Okay, okay! Let me give you the news at least...

Rap Monster: O-Okay...

Doctor: The good news is that, you've been discharged from the hospital. As much as we'd love to take care of you, your manager assures us that you'll be taken care of well.

Rap Monster: ...

Doctor: The bad news is that you only have a few months to live, and if you're lucky, maybe a year...

Rap Monster: W-What!?

This was something I didn't need to hear, not yet. I still had music to make, places to travel, fans to please, love to find, and experience... How can I cram all of that in the span of a few months? Yes, I was pessimistic.

It was evident that I was going to die from my sickness, but not as soon as I expected. I wasn't prepared to hear that kind of news, not this soon in my life. I knew I was already ill, but things have taken a turn for the worse.

Doctor: Your blood cell count has dropped low, and the cancer has prevented your body from producing a sufficient amount. You could have fought the cancer with treatment, but according to your medical records, it seems like you stopped treatments, so your health has deteriorated.

A few tears rolled down my face, I couldn't help but think about my parents at this point. They still think I'm getting treatments, and in good health. They'd be waiting for the news that I had won the battle with my cancer. I'm sorry, but that isn't so, things are grim.

Rap Monster: W-Why so soon!?

Doctor: I'm sorry, but all I can tell you is, don't overwork yourself, and get lots of rest...

I grabbed the hospital blanket and I wiped my tears away. I held in the rest of my depressed feelings, for when I get back to the dorm. Then I could cry, alone, in my room, and write lyrics on how I feel.

I sighed as I looked into my lap.

Doctor: Please don't stress too much on how much time you have left, just try to enjoy what time you do have...

Things were silent, I said nothing to that. He could try to brighten up the situation, but the doctor knows nothing about how I feel.

Doctor: I'll go get your friends, and then you'll be able to leave...

The doctor sighed and exited the room. A few minutes later, Manager Kim walked in with the others. I instantly threw on a poker face, so that hopefully, they wouldn't be able to tell that I had been crying, or was upset...