REWRITTEN

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Rarely had Jeahyo awoken with such an headache. His whole face hurt and he could hear people around him talk but he couldn't make out what they were saying. Debating if he should just keep pretending to be asleep he finally decided to let his eyes flutter open. The lightning was too sharp and he was disoriented.

"Jaehyo?"

His sister. Why was she here, shouldn't she be at work right now? And where was he? Closing his eyes, slowly the memories came floating back to him. The swimming contest, the way Minhyuk had moved his lips against his and the way he had attacked him after that. It was all too confusing. 

''Can I have some aspirin" He moaned. 

He opened his eyes again. He was lying in the school's first aid post. He recognized it even though he had only been here one time, when Kyung had tripped him while they were playing football and he had bruised his wrist. It was a small room with one bed. His sister was by his side, smiling softly at him. Taeil and Ukwon stood behind her. Taeil looked awkwardly, as if he didn't know what to say but felt like he had to. The taller boy beside him had balled his fist but had a worried expression on his face. Jaehyo noticed that they all tried their hardest not to stare at his face for too long, and when he sat up to look in the mirror which hung above the tiny sink, he understood why. 

His eye was swollen and his skin already began showing beautiful shades of blue and purple. There was a cut on his nose and he could see evidence of blood at his nostrils. He looked awful, hesitantly he raised a hand to touch the skin. He saw his sister looking away, as if the moment was too intimate to look at. Luckily the nurse returned shortly with his aspirin so he didn't have time to examine his bruised face thoroughly. After he'd drunk the aspirin an awkward silence followed before Jaehyo couldn't contain the question that was lying on his lips any longer. 

''So.. where is he?'' He figured he didn't have to say his name.

''They.. took him to the hospital to check out his lungs.'' His sister answered, Jaehyo could see she was on a verge of tears which spilled over when she continued: ''God, Jaehyo, I'm so sorry! I didn't know things were this bad at school, but your friends told me this has been going on for some time.'' She cried. 

He tried to interupt her but she just continued: "I-I thought he was your friend! But I should've taken better care of you,  you must have felt miserable a-a-and..'' She had to stop talking because she was crying too hard. Jaehyo quickly moved forward to take her in his arms and told her it wasn't her fault. It was Minhyuk's fault. His former best friend, who had known since they were little just kept on estranging from Jaehyo. And he knew that he should hate Minhyuk by now, but he just didn't. In fact he was more worried about him now than he had ever been in his entire life. Something was definitely wrong with him and it is very difficult to hate someone you feel sorry for. 

After his sister had calmed down they were informed that they could leave, Jaehyo had to rest and he was absolutely fine with that. He was dead tired and he couldn't wait to crawl into his bed  and sleep for like the the next two days. Before he left he spoke shortly with Ukwon and Taeil, they had been sitting on the stand next to the pool when it happened. He tried to get some details from them but the more information they told the more upset his sister got, so they promised to come by tomorrow to discuss everything that had happened. 

When they came home he kissed his sister on the cheek and fell asleep immediately.

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''Jaehyo, Jaehyo wake up'' He felt his sister trying to shake him awake. He just groaned. What time was it? He looked at his alarm clock. 3.14 am. He groaned and tried to turn away from his sister. 

''Jaehyo, please'' She pleaded. 

''What is it?'' He groaned into his pillow. He was so tired, so much for resting he thought bitterly.

''It's Minhyuk'' 

Dressing as quickly as he could he followed his sister downstairs. In the dooropening he saw Minhyuk's parents waiting. His mother had tears running down her cheecks as she hold on to her husband, who clearly tried his best to keep it together, though he was horribly pale. 

''Jaehyo!" Minhyuk's mother cried when she saw his face,  before falling back into hysterical sobs while her husband rubbed soothing circles on her back. 

''Mr. Lee, Ms. Lee''  Jaehyo bowed respectfully, trying his best to ignore the tight knot in his stomach. 

'''I'm... I'm really sorry for what happened. And I know that Minhyuk is probably the last person you want to be thinking about right now, but...- '' He sighed very deeply before continuing in a steadier tone: ''He's missing and we hoped you might have some clue to where he is.''

''Missing?'' Jaehyo couldn't wrap his head around it. ''Wasn't he in the hospital?''

''He was but we took him home a few hours ago. He went straight to his room and refused to talk to us, but when we checked on him a few hours ago he wasn't there.'' 

''I'm sorry but I have no idea''  Jaeho answered honestly. 

''But you were his best friend! Think!'' Ms Lee cried out, pointing her finger to Jaehyo.

''I-I don't kn-'' He tried to explain.

''This is all your fault-'' She whispered while looking at Jaehyo full of hatred.''-Minhyuk would never do something like this if you hadn't done something to him!'' She cried out, before falling into Mr. Lee's arms, who smiled apologetic at Jaehyo. 

''Come on darling'' He whispered before escorting her out of the house, hugging her small frame against him for support. 

After they had left his sister sent him back to bed, not that any of the two could sleep right now. She had baby sitted the two boys since they were small and tried her hardest to think of a logical place he would be, but failing miserably. Jaehyo was lying in his bed, also trying his hardest to think of somewhere Minhyuk might have gone. Would he have gone back to the pool? No the school was closed and it would be impossible to break in without triggering an alarm. There was also an railroad nearby but Jaehyo didn't even want to think of that option. The more he thought about it, the more one place seemed to pop up in his head. There was this secret spot in the woods he and Minhyuk had found when they were children. If Minhyuk didn't want to be found he would go there, only they knew about this place. But on the other hand it was 4 in the morning, and it was in the middle of nowhere. Still Jaehyo couldn't push the idea off him and the more he thought about it the more it made sense. When they were still best friends Minhyuk had told him that he often went there to think, sitting on the fallen tree that divided the small circle of grass into two parts. 

Deciding that it would be impossible for him to go asleep now anyway he sneaked out of the house. His sister was snoring on the couch and he decided to leave a note in case she would wake up. Grabbing his mountain bike he cycled to the forest. Reaching the tree line he found a little road that could lead him at least half way. Cycling quickly through the forest felt almost surreal. It was dark, only the moon shining through the trees to lit up the path. The path he had been riding slowly blurred and he decided it would be best to walk the rest. He was close now, and became aware of how silent it was. There wasn't a sound except for his own footsteps. That was until he began hearing another sound. It scared him at first, especially how it seemed to build up the closer he got to the little meadow. 

He had been right. Minhyuk was here. Standing in the tree line he watched the boy from afar. He was sitting on the ground, leaning against the tree stam. Sobbing hysterically while one hand was grabbing his hair.  He suddenly felt incredibly small, the person he cared most about in the whole was crying out and he had no idea how to handle this situation. 

''M-Minhyuk'' He whispered from behind him. 

Minhyuk's entire body froze. His sobbing immediately sobbed and Jaehyo could hear him holding in his breath. He approached him with his hands in the air, though that really didn't really matter because Minhyuk was still hadn't looked around. Or giving him any recognition at all actually. Walking around the tree stam he faced Minhyuk and fell onto his knees. Jaehyo approached him while crawling until he was right in front of him. 

Never in his entire life had Jaehyo felt this much pity. Minhyuk looked at Jaehyo the way a suffering dying man must looked at an angel. Though he didn't spoke, his eyes begged for a forgiveness and a release he wasn't sure he could give him. Looking at Jaehyo's face he saw Minhyuk break a little further. He was biting his lip with an intense force and tried his best to keep his tears from spilling. That wasn't the only thing Jaehyo noticed, in front of Minhyuk he saw a paper and a pen surrounded by torn paper and that scared him more than anything. Jaehyo didn't know what to think about that, of course it could have a ton of different meanings, maybe he just wanted to geet his thoughts on paper? But he could smell alcohol on Minhyuk's ragged breath and he it was clear he wasn't acting in his right mind.

''Minhyuk, calm down.'' He spoke while laying his hand on Minhyuk's. At first he felt Minhyuk withdraw from his touch before throwing his head back and letting out a loud cry and Jaehyo took this as a sign so he engulfed him in his arms. The black haired boy cried even harder and holded on to Jaehyo with such a tight grip that it hurt him.

Jeahyo holded Minhyuk in his arms before he was roughly pushed away. 

''This is wrong'' Minhyuk whispered and he had absolutely no idea what that meant. Was he that disgusted by Jaehyo? Was it almost physically painful for him to be near him? Was that the reason he had tried so hard to push him away?

''Why are you here, Jaehyo?" Minhyuk asked, well it sounded more like a demand. Was he angry with Jaehyo for coming to find him?

''What are you talking about?" He whispered. 

''You shouldn't have come here'' The other boy whispered back, tears running down his cheeks. Angrily he wiped them away with his cheeks but new ones just took their place. 

''What are you talking about?!" Jaehyo repeated frustrated ''If I hadn't come here you.. I saw the papers, Minhyuk! What are you thinking? Do you have any idea what that would to your parents? Your friends?-'' He paused a second before whispering: ''to me..?'' It was too painful to even think about Minhyuk just looked away, a blush rising on his cheecks. 

And before Jaehyo knew what was happening he was crying too. He couldn't believe what was happening. What could have possibly pushed his best friend to such a place? And the answer was made painfully clear. He had done this. Thinking back he suddenly could see everything that had happened clearly. The way he always felt like Minhyuk wanted to say something when they departed, but didn't. All the times Minhyuk had pushed his own wishes aside to please Jaehyo, selflessly and never demanding anything back. The way he refused to sleep over at Jaehyo's place after they had hit puberty though they used to every weekend. There were all these signs that something wasn't right and Jaehyo had just chosen to ignore it. And he hated himself for it. 

''I'm so sorry'' He cried. This seemed to shock Minhyuk as he loudly gasped and and looked at Jaehyo. He grabbed Jaehyo's shoulders and pushed him back on the damp grass straddeling him. Jaehyo was trapped.

''What are you saying? I'm the one who should be sorry! I abandoned you, tormented you for months! I- I don't deserve you. You shouldn't be here! I don't even deserve to live after they way I treated you! You said it yourself it would be best if I just-"

Before he could even finish his sentence he was abruptly cut of. Jaehyo didn't even know what happened. He had leaned forward and their lips were now connected. 

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Once again, I'm sorry! This chapter was so sad :( I feel so bad for them both! 

Please let me know what you think!

xoxo