SORRY FOR THIS CRAPPY CHAPTER... T.T ... SINCE I HAVE NO TIME TO WRITE THIS BECAUSE OF MY SCHOOL WORKS

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-Jessica’s POV-

Aish...I couldn’t sleep well last night. I just couldn’t get Donghae right off my mind. Every time I close my eyes, I see his face. My thoughts are filled with Donghae, Donghae, Donghae and Donghae. And just thinking about Donghae, makes my heart flutter like crazy. Two days to go and he will be leaving for the army. I wanted to say sorry and apologize for my sheer cruelty...to tell Donghae that I have already forgiven him...but I’m a big coward. I was born to be a coward and to live stupidly in life.

I got to admit that I really miss his presence...so bad. I don’t why but whenever he’s around me, I feel secured. Is he really that special to me? DO I REALLY LOVE HIM? NO.

OH NO JESSICA...DON’T DO THIS. Why am I thinking of this?

Do I have to deny or admit?

I need help.

-Author’s POV-

As Jessica was busily zoning out and thinking hardly, someone then knock on the door. She lifted off her on the floor and walked over to the door to open it.

“Oh mom” she uttered

“Sica dear, why aren’t you still eating your lunch? It’s getting cold”

“Umma...can we talk?”

“Why? Is there something wrong?” she asked concernedly

She sat on the couch and her mom followed her

“H- how is my relationship with Donghae before we got married?”

It’s now or never

“Oh” she laughed “How do I start this? Hmmm...you were very close back then...much like brothers and sisters. He always waits for you at the gate of our house every morning since you’ve got no one to accompany you to school; he also does the same after school. Donghae is very protective of you; he won’t let any guy come any closer. He’s always there...though thick and thin. He wanted you to be happy always but of course, Donghae also has his dorky sides. He kids you to death at every opportunity he grabs; and if you started crying, he couldn’t help himself but to hug and comfort you and apologize for what he had done. He loved you so much Jessica but-“

“As a sister?”

She cut off her mother and her mother just nodded in reply. Jessica felt a stinging pain in her heart after hearing the statement yet she still felt happy that Donghae cared for her much

 “Did I love him?” she continued

“YES, YOU LOVED HIM TO PIECES. You were so in love with him yet heartbroken because your love is unrequited. I remember when you were only in your junior high...you always go home without Donghae...crying. Then you told me about your secret...that you were in love with Hae but he just loves you as a sister and he already got himself a girlfriend; and you can’t help but to cry silently while watching him doing those ‘stupid’ things he does with his stupid girlfriend, whatever you call. Well, I had nothing to do but to comfort you back then and tell that there are so many guys in the world better than him; but still, you insist on having only one, only Donghae”

She can’t believe what she’s hearing...she had been in love with Donghae...and might have always been.

“No. I can’t be” she thought (or denied)

“Jessica, I know he loves you still but this time not as a sister...he loves you deeply for who you are...all I can say that he had fallen head over heels for you. Donghae committed mistakes but he’s willing to make up for it. He’s willing to do whatever he can do as long as you forgive him...as long as you love him back again. He’s sincerely in love with you, Sica”

Tears started to fall from her face soon as she heard what her mother had said. It was so unbelievable. Yes, she knew that Donghae loves her now but she’s always lying to herself that he has never changed yet.

“He has a girlfriend before, right? Is she the girl Donghae had an affair with?”

“I think so, dear”

“If- If he didn’t love me before, th- then why did he marry me?” she stuttered due to the pain in her heart she’s been going through

“You were forced. I don’t want to say this but your father was the one who started this arranged marriage. He wanted our family and Donghae’s family to converge in order to save our company from bankruptcy”

Ok, now she was already fuming with anger. This much unbelievable...if she hadn’t married Donghae then she would have not suffered...and she married him for the sake of his father's business

“So...dad used me? He forced me to marry Donghae for his own welfare. Then why didn’t you stop him?!”

Unconsciously, she shouted at her own mother as her eyes narrowed and her tears couldn’t get any heavier.

“Shhhh, Sica, look, I know it’s hard for you to accept this fact but I have no power over your father. I tried to stop him but Donghae’s parents then agreed in your marriage that’s why I couldn’t stop them. You and Donghae also opposed but we had no choice. I’m really sorry Jessica, I’m really sorry” her mother then cried in tears as well

“Why did Dad do this to me? Was he crazy?”

“Yes he was, your mom also was crazy too. I’m really sorry Jessica”

“I can’t believe this”

She stood up from her tracks and just as she was going to the balcony, her mother stopped her

“Wait...your lunch wasn’t really the subject why I came here. A while ago, Donghae came here to see me to give the divorce papers he signed already”

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped due to shock and confusion

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He said it would be better for you not to see him...that he’s really ashamed for everything he had done to our family...especially you. If you have seen him a while ago, he was bowing to me for so many times; he was apologizing as if there’s no tomorrow and of course he was crying very hard. He told me that he’ll miss you very much and he hopes that you’ll find a man who’s better than him. Donghae also said that he loves you very very very very very very very very very much...that he might not be able to marry again because there’s no one else like you in this world”

Now, she’s really crying her heart out. Donghae is sincere and he really loves her that much.

“I know you’re not fully recovered yet...but...Do you still love Donghae? I mean, can you still feel the spark between you and Donghae?”

That question is very hard yet easy. It’s hard because she couldn’t admit her true feelings; yet easy because she realized that she still loves Donghae with all heart, mind and soul. Yes, she still loves Donghae....

-Jessica’s POV-

I have to admit it...I don’t want to deny anymore. I love Donghae and I must return to him before he leaves. I don’t want to miss the chance of not seeing him again...whatever it takes... whatever the odds...whatever the consequence is...I must see Donghae now and tell him how much I have loved him through all these times. Even though my mind couldn’t remember him but my heart does...my heart does beat for him and always will.

I'm an Idiot

-Author’s POV-

Yes, Jessica still loves Donghae. With that, she immediately grabbed the divorce papers, scurried out of her room, got her car keys and proceeded to the living room where her dad is busily reading daily papers.

“Dad...” she stared at him darkly

“Sica...is there something wrong?”

“Yes, there is. I’m not going to divorce Donghae no matter what”

Her father’s eyes then narrowed by anger

“Why?! He’s a bastard! If it’s not because of him, you might have been dead by now!”

“Then you should’ve not forced me to marry him in the first place!” she fired back

From narrowed eyes, it slowly began to open wide. Her words left him speechless but he got to admit that he forced Jessica to marry Donghae.

“Donghae might have hurt me well but it isn’t fully his fault for cheating on me. I still love him, Dad and you can’t stop me from loving him...not anymore...I’m- I’m leaving”

Just as she was about to leave for the door, she suddenly felt pain engulfing on her head...once again...

“Dad, let us go! Donghae doesn’t love me and you can just find other business partners to save our company! Don’t use me as a bribe! Have you forgotten that I am your daughter?”

“You are going to marry Lee Donghae, Jung Jessica! No one can stop my decision now!”

“But dad!” she insisted

“No more buts! You’ll be marrying him in two weeks so be prepared”

“Dad...Dad, don’t this to me” she mumbled as she cried of frustration

...And once again, she recalled about the past...that lethargic pain on her head caused her to fall on the floor

“It hurts!” she cringed in pain

Her parents ran after her to see if she was ok

“Jessica! Jessica! Are you ok?”

“No, I’m fine. I’m going now” she insisted

“Are you sure?!” her mom asked

But Jessica just ran away without answering her question.

“Jessica! Where are you going?! Come back here! It’s starting to rain. It’s dangerous to drive” her mother insisted

Still, she ignored her mother’s demand and started to drive away

“I’m really sorry mom but I must do this” Jessica thought

“What’s happening with that child?” her mom asked worriedly

Jessica’s dad then put his hand on his mom’s shoulder

“Let’s just leave her alone. She deserves to be happy. I’m really sorry, it’s all my fault” he smiled sadly

“Don’t blame yourself...Even though she lost her memory, she still loves Donghae that much” her mom muttered as she placed her hands above her husband’s

"That's why I love our daughter. She's always faithful"

-Author's POV-

Guess what? She's leaving for Donghae...Just wait what will happen next

Author's Note: Finally, Jessica admitted that she still loves Donghae. xD Himnae!