Synopsis: Hyukjae experienced a traumatic loss at such a young age. His parents decided to ship him off overseas to see a therapist and help forget losing his best friend. Several years passed and he comes back to Korea and was brought by his friends to a newly placed circus. A familiar place he couldn't quite place in his mind. Brought against his will, Hyukjae starts experiencing like he was entering a completely different world. One that he might not be able to return to.

Eight year old Hyukjae and Donghae ran towards the pool site, excited to get in the water. Hyukjae's parents were not available to bring him so he came with Donghae's parents instead. The two were so close that they were more than happy to bring him along. 

"Hyuk, look! The slide is so big!" Donghae pointed at the huge slide with wide eyes and giddy green. His right hand beckoning his friend over so they can finally get in line. "Hurry! We need to go on that one first!"

"Uh-uh," his mother tutted then grabbed his arm towards one of the avalable seats nearby. "I need you to wear your sunscreen first and rinse off before your start sliding everywhere."

"But Umma!" Donghae whined causing Hyukjae to snicker silently while Donghae's Dad catered to him. "The line will get so long and Hyukkie and I won't be able to go!" 

"It's fine, Donghae-ah," Hyukjae tried to coax him when he saw Donghae was ready to burst into tears. "I think they have the sea horse fountains working today. We can go there first."

"No!" Donghae's whole body reacted that his mother couldn't help but roll her eyes at his show of tantrum. "I want to go to the slide first!" 

Donghae's mom quickly rubbed the sunscreen on his face just to distract him a little while Donghae's dad finished with Hyukjae's arm. 

"Such a spoiled child," his mother muttered under her breath. "There. Now you can go play."

Donghae cheered and immediatey grabbed Hyukjae's arm and ran towards the slide. "Don't run! You're going to slip!" But her warnings fell on deaf ears while the both of them disappeared within the sea of people clammering around themselves. 

"Hyukjae!" 

A startled gasp and Hyukjae's eyes opened to see Kyuhyun and Leeteuk were both looking at him worriedly. He cleared his throat and adjusted his position on the chair where he fell asleep. A strange feeling fell upon him as he readjusted himself back to reality and shake the weird feeling his dream gave him. 

"Are you okay?" Leeteuk asked worriedly. "What were you dreaming about?"

"Huh? uh...not-nothing." Hyukjae shook his head and used both hands to slap his cheeks together as a way to force himself to get his head together. "What were you two talking about?"

"Well, before you passed out on us," Kyuhyun remarked with every drip of sarcasm that Hyukjae had grown accustomed to. "We were just talking about that new circus that opened up the other day. One of my coworkers went yesterday and she couldn't stop raving about the magician that performed. I thought we can go see it today." 

"Circus?" Hyukjae repeated as though it was a foreign word to him. "You want to go...to a circus?"

"Yes," Kyuhyun replied sharply. "It might not be a thing for you in California but here in the great Republic of Korea, we enjoy the simple things."

Hyukjae rolled his eyes at his constant reminder of his foreign status and lightly pushed his arm to retaliate. "Shut up. You know that's not what I meant." 

Kyuhyun stuck his tongue out at him and Leeteuk was left shaking his head to himself, wondering how he ended up being such a parent compared to his two friends. 

"Alright, you two. That's enough." He said. "We don't have anything else to do today anyway, Hyuk. We should go."

"Pass." Hyukjae resumed his previous position on his seat and casually leaned back until he got comfortable. "I'd rather sleep than see some grown man pretend that magic is real." 

"My god. Who ruined your childhood?" Hyukjae huffed and grabbed for the closest thing he could get his hands on and threw it at Kyuhyun. The latter was able to catch his neon green scarf easily and casually wrapped it around his neck. "Quit being a baby and just come with us. We won't stay there long. An hour maybe two tops." 

"Ugh! Why are you so annoying?"

Hearing Hyukjae complain, Kyuhyun grinned and knew the other was onboard. 

"Great! Let's meet by the station at three o'clock."

"Three o'clock?" Hyukjae repeated out loud subconsciously. Leeteuk and Kyuhyun both gave him a blank look not sure what was wrong with the set time. Barely catching himself at the last minute, Hyukjae was able to reorient himself and tried to play off his question casually. "Why three o'clock? Isn't that too late?" 

"No?" Kyuhyun responded, not quite sure why Hyukjae would say so. "They don't open till noon and we'll get there just before sunset. It's the perfect time to be there and see it light up right when it gets dark." 

"Fine." Hyukjae grumbled and got up to go to the restroom. "I gotta go. I have a meeting with Shindong hyung and he's not gonna be happy when I tell him I can't shoot the reel with him tonight." 

Hyukjae made his way to the restroom and left Kyuhyun and Leeteuk to talk amongst themselves. Halfway through he started feeling a faint throb in his head and was suddenly very aware of the presence of gravity. He closed his eyes for a second as an attempt to keep himself steady, but was then distracted by something else.

Hyukjae.

He heard a familiar voice whisper his name catching him off guard. He gasped and swiftly turned around to see who it was only to be startled by a passing by waiter carrying a tray of dirty dishes. 

Crash!

"Oh! S-Sorry! Sorry!" Hyukjae yelped as he crouched down and tried to help pick up the brpken dishes. The waiter was in a panic but tried to dissuade Hyukjae from helping him but they were both too disheveled to hear one another. Kyuhyun and Leeteuk looked towards the commotion and upon seeing Hyukjae freaking out on the floor, haphazardly picking up random pieces of glass, quickly got up from their seat to check on what was happening. 

"S-Sir, please be careful." the waiter muttered as he rushed to get the plates out of the way before the manager comes to check on him. 

Hyukjae, overwhelmed by his own guilt, just kept on assisting him. Unaware of which edge of the broken glass he was grabbing, causing him to knick the side of his forefinger in the process. "Ah!" He hissed and subsequently dropped the piece he was holding on the floor, further breaking it into smaller pieces. 

Kyuhyun and Leeteuk arrived just in time to see him bleeding quite excessively on the floor. 

"Hyukjae!" Leeteuk crouched down next to him with wide eyes as he grabbed his hands and pulled out his personal handkerchief to wrap around the wound. "What are you doing?!"

Hyukjae hissed at the sudden feeling of Leeteuk's tight tourniquet and felt his finger warm up as more blood oozed out off him. "A-ah...Hyung. It hurts."

The waiter's eyes widened and further panicked seeing Hyukjae injured. 

"S-Sir! I'm sorry! Please forgive me!" He bowed on his knees and begged as though he had committed the most atrocious crime of all. Hyukjae shook his head and coaxed the other to keep him from crying. 

"Please. It's okay. I'm fine." 

"Is everything okay here?" 

The three men on the floor and Kyuhyun looked to see the manager of the restaurant have come over to check in on the situation. As though Lucifer himself had come, the waiter bowed and kept his head low trying to avoid digging a deeper hole for himself. Leeteuk held Hyukjae's arm and assisted him up from the floor while the latter made a quick bow of apology. 

"I'm so sorry, sir. I accidentally bumped into your waiter breaking a few plates in the process." He looked at the waiter who was still keeping his head low on the floor and bit his lower lip down in pity. "It was my fault, sir. Please let me pay for the damages." 

The manager made a quick assessment of the situation before presenting a polite smile and shaking his head. 

"Please don't worry about it. We understand accidents happen." 

Hyukjae bawled his eyes out while one of the working lifeguards held him close as other guests at the water park muttered and surrounded them. 

"Call 119! There's been an accident!"

"Get Help!" 

"We will take care of the damages." The manager bowed and showed them one final smile before assisting the waiter on the floor. "Please enjoy the rest of your day. Have a nice day, Gentlemen."

Leeteuk and Kyuhyun both returned his bow in acknowledgment before stepping aside to let them get to work. Hyukjae was still in a daze that Leeteuk and Kyuhyun couldn't help but share a worried look over him. 

"Hey." Leeteuk squeezed Hyukjae's arm and furrowed his brows together when he saw him jump. "Are you feeling okay?" 

"I'm..." Hyukjae paused and felt his breath catch in his throat as he looked around the floor and gazed at the broken dishes behind him. The strange feeling from earlier further disorienting him. "...I'm okay." 

"Are you sure?" 

Hyukjae looked at Leeteuk and upon seeing his worried look, tried to muster a smile and a nod of his head. "Yes," he eventually said. "I'm...fine." 

~+~+~+~+~+~

"Where should we go first?" Donghae asked his friend, his hand still holding tightly onto Hyukjae's to make sure he doesn't disappear or get taken away. "I think we should ride the big slide first and then followed by the second biggest slide followed by third then fourth then-"

"Hae!" Hyukjae giggled and tugged his back hand to keep him from ranting. "Let's just go where there's not so many people."

"That's silly, Hyukkie. This whole place is filled with people."

Donghae and Hyukjae were on their way to the big slide Donghae wanted to go to when a random kid ran right past between them, breaking their connection from each other. Donghae was startled and glared at the boy. Hyukjae on the other hand couldn't even utter a sound when he was suddenly thrown off to the side causing a huge splash in the process. His body quickly reacted at the surprised pressure of underwater and started kicking his feet and flapping his arms in the air, trying to find his footing. 

Donghae saw Hyukjae panicking and immediately called his name. 

"Hyukkie! Hyuk!" He called trying to reach his hand forward to pull the other close to him but Hyukjae was hitting the water too much for him to even attempt to reach him. "Hyukjae!" 

Slam!

Hyukjae's eyes snapped open for the second time that day as his body was jerked awake by the sound of something heavy slamming onto the ground, or in this case, table. 

"Well, good morning, Sunshine." Shindong greeted when he saw Hyukjae's eyes finally open. "What's wrong with you? Are you hungover or something?"

Hyukjae groaned and heaved a heavy exhale while adjusting his position on his chair and rubbing his temples. "N-No. I've just...been having trouble sleeping."

"Trouble sleeping?" Shindong inquired while dusting off the camera equipment he took out. "Are you still seeing your psychiatrist?" 

"She's on vacation."

"For how long."

"A few weeks." Hyukjae replied and closed his eyes to try and relax his tense body. "I was supposed to see this new guy that's filling in for her but after our first session I kinda didn't like the vibe of the place so I decided to just wait for her to come back."

"Oh yeah?" Shindong paused and stared at Hyukjae curiously. "Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"It's only for two more weeks. I'll be fine."

"You don't look fine." Shindong argued as he covered the camera up and hid it away from Hyukjae. "I think you need to take the day off." 

"I'm fine." 

"Hyukjae," Shindong's voice changed alerting Hyukjae that it was more of an order than it was a suggestion. "Take the day off. We can talk about the reel tomorrow morning." 

Hyukjae was still hesitant to leave. "Are you sure?" 

"We're right on schedule. The client will live."

A quick tightlipped smile and a quick side hug to show his gratitude and Hyukjae found himself exiting Shindong's office and walking down the building's hallway to his car. He wasn't really feeling himself today but he was doing his best to push past that. 

Hyukkie.

Hyukjae made a swift turn around to see if he could catch the person calling his name but saw there was no one around. His chest was rapidly rising up and down and he could practically hear the rapid beating of his heart in his head. 

"What the hell?" His eyes rapidly glanced around, searching for anything, a shadow of somebody, but no matter how hard he searched he saw nothing. 

Come. He turned around again when he heard the voice and felt his breathing get shallower. Stay with me. 

"Excuse me?" 

"AH!" Hyukjae jumped when he felt someone touch his arm only to be met with an equally surprised expression from the woman that kept him from tripping over. He was breathing quite heavily like he had just ran a marathon and felt himself losing his grip with reality. 

"Are- Are you okay?" 

It took him a second but eventually Hyukjae managed to gasp out a quick, "I'm fine" before completely running off to the opposite end. His head was completely spinning around and he could feel the beads of sweat fall to the side of his face. He had one task in mind and that was to get to his car as fast as possible, but no matter how fast he ran, and no matter how hard he tried to push it out, the voice that echoed in his head would not go away. 

Come with me. 

Come. 

Stay. 

Hyukjae. 

Hyukjae. 

Hyukjae. 

Hyukjae. 

"HYUKJAE!" 

BEEEEEEEP

Hyukjae's heart jumped and his legs immediately gave out at the sudden loud honk he heard next to him. He took a big gulp as he stared with big frightened eyes at the car that was about to him. The next thing he knew, Kyuhyun by his side, shaking his arm and scolding him. 

"Yah! What the hell is wrong with you?! You almost got run over!"

The driver of the car flashed his lights at them but Hyukjae was too disoriented to pay his dirty look any mind. The voice in his head had disappeared and for the first time in what felt like a lifetime his mind was completely blank. Kyuhyun was too upset at his friend's carelessness to ask about his current condition. 

"Yah! Answer me. What the hell's going on with you?" 

Hyukjae barely managed to look at Kyuhyun but when he did, his eyes was already welling up in tears and the first words that came out of him were, "I'm sorry." 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Hyukjae repeatedly screamed while looking at Donghae's grieving parents. It was raining hard  but that wasn't enough to drown out the agonized crying of Donghae's mother who kneeled on the muddy ground, grasping at the little casket. 

"It's my fault! It's all my fault! I shouldn't have left Donghae behind." Hyukjae continued to cry and his mom knelt down to his height to wipe his tears away. Her husband held the umbrella for the both of them but Hyukjae's hand was reaching forward to Donghae's mother as he tried to continue to apologize. "Eomonim, I'm sorry."

Thunder erupted and normally it would have scared young Hyukjae but he was too overwhelmed by his own emotions to care about it. 

Hyukjae managed to get close enough to touch her arm only to be harshly brushed away. His mother gasped and immediately caught him in her arms. 

"Bring him back! He didn't deserve this!" She wailed, her face soaked with tears while she was covered with mud and rain water. "My son didn't deserve this!" 

"You didn't deserve it." Hyukjae caressed the side of Kyuhyun's face as tears dropped down his face. "I'm sorry. It's my fault. It's all my fault." 

Kyuhyun was frightened at Hyukjae's action and words. He grabbed his hand away from his face and dropped to the side of his body then grabbed both arms together and shook him violently. "Yah! Lee Hyukjae! Snap out of it!" 

As though he said the magic words, Hyukjae's drooped down and before he knew it, the other had already lost consciousness. Kyuhyun nearly missed him but was completely shellshocked when he was suddenly supporting half of the other's weight in his arms. He tried shaking him a couple more times, even lightly tapped the side of his face to see if Hyukjae's eyes would open but nothing he did worked. Whatever was going on with his friend, it ran much deeper than he thought. 

~+~+~+~+~+~

"That was so much fun!" Donghae scrubbed his face off of the excess water and excitedly turned to Hyukjae. "Maybe we should go again." 

Hyukjae chuckled and stopped walking for