~Ren~

I couldn’t sleep that night when I returned to the Palace of Lights. When sleep did finally come, it was only nightmares that awaited me in the darkness. It was the same repeating nightmare that frightened me- I got to the flower field but V would be attacked by Headmaster Leeteuk for helping me escape. I would watch my friend fall down to the ground, covered in blood, his eyes shut, and his body completely still and lifeless. I prayed that anything like that wouldn’t happen in reality. I had to be careful and make sure that V and Sulli didn’t get hurt because of me, or worse- die. They’d helped me so much since I came here, and I wanted to repay them for their help.

I got up and headed downstairs- on my way I stopped by Sulli’s old bedroom. A new worker hadn’t replaced her yet in the staff, so her room had been empted and locked up. I took a deep breath and forced myself to get out the front door. Even though she had long since left the palace, all of her memories and traces were still lingering there. Nobody had ever forgotten her, and even Headmaster missed her. Nobody ever would forget Sulli.

All of the workers gathered in the usual spot where we waited to be addressed by Headmaster Leeteuk. Ever since I’d found out about his dark past with Nan Hyang the gisaeng, I felt uncomfortable seeing him and talking to him. If he felt the same awkwardness, he sure didn’t let it show on his face.

“Did you sleep well?” asked Krystal, as she twirled a lock of her long light brown hair around her finger.

“Nightmares again,” I sighed heavily. “Seems like I won’t ever be able to sleep peacefully again.”

She frowned. “Don’t say that, Ren.”

“Then make my nightmares go away,” I joked.

Krystal’s eyes lit up. “Okay! I’ll come by your room tonight. I have some things that might make your sleep better.”

“Oh,” I said, surprised. “Thanks.”

The rest of the day we worked together, cooking meals, washing floors, folding and ironing clothes, and running errands. I spoke to Krystal casually, deciding it was for the best that I not tell her about the plan V, Sulli, Shaman Deo, and I had made. She was so huge on gossip that I feared she wouldn’t be able to keep shut. Even though she was one of my only friends within the staff, I had no choice but to keep it a secret. Instead, later on I would let her know that I was quitting my job as a staff member.

That night like Krystal had promised, she came to my room a few hours before midnight, now wearing a long sleeved white button up shirt, a short black skirt, and white and black heels.

“You’re dressed up all fancy,” I noticed. “Going out somewhere?”

She smiled. “No. Just wanted to look good for you.”

My eyes widened. “U-um, you look good!”

“I know!” Krystal flipped her hair over her shoulder and came to sit beside me on the red and gold canopy bed. She handed me a small bag. “This is the stuff I mentioned. It should stop your nightmares.” I reached into the bag and pulled out a bouquet of lilac blossoms and an aqua dream catcher. “The flowers will help because scents affect your dreams. Keep them by your bed, so there will be a sweet scent in your room all night. And the dream catcher is supposed to catch bad dreams. It’s a legend, but I have a dream catcher in my bedroom too, and I haven’t had a single nightmare since Shaman Deo made it for me. She told me she put some good magic in it to help my sleep. So I asked her to make one for you too. Isn’t it pretty?”

It was pretty- in the center there was a flower shape woven out of white string, and red beads decorated the tops of the aqua blue feathers. I grinned. “It’s beautiful. Thank you, Krystal. I’m sure it will help my sleep.”

“I’m so glad you like it! And I hope this works. Hopefully now your nightmares will go away.” She cleared . “There was also something else I wanted to ask you…”

“Go ahead.”

“Um…do you still like Sulli?”

My cheeks reddened at her sudden question. “Huh? No. I mean, maybe. U-uh. I’m not sure,” I lied. Why did I feel the need to lie to her about this?

“You do, don’t you? It’s obvious that you miss her. But…I wish you wouldn’t miss her so much.”

“Why?”

“I like you, Ren!” Krystal put her hands over mine. “I like you a lot. And I want to be with you. Can’t you give me a chance? I’m sure I could keep you happy.”

Whoa. “Krystal, I’m sorry. I still have feelings for Sulli, and that won’t ever change. I’m bonded to her. And she and I have always been close…I’m sorry,” I repeated, feeling like an idiot.

She drew her hands away slowly. “Oh. I see.” Her voice carried hurt.

“I don’t know what else to say. Thank you for the flowers and for the dream catcher. You’re a great friend, Krystal. You always look out for me.”

“Yeah, but I’m only a friend,” she muttered. “Well, I tried. If you change your mind, let me know.”

“Okay,” I agreed, even though I knew that wouldn’t happen. Krystal was pretty and nice, but she wasn’t Sulli. Nobody could replace her.

“Goodnight, Ren. Sweet dreams.” She stood, straightened her skirt, and left my room. The door shut behind her with a soft thud, leaving me all alone. Shaking off the embarrassed feeling her confession had given me for some reason, I set the bouquet of flowers on the table beside my bed and hung up the dream catcher, so that it dangled from the ceiling. That night, I slept peacefully, dreaming about an angel-like girl with dark hair, pale skin, and red lips. She walked gracefully over to me and took my hand in hers, leading me home.

I met V in front of his restaurant in the blue hour just before dawn. He was dressed in his school uniform, his brown hair styled like usual and black kohl lining his eyes.

“Hey,” V greeted me. “You ready? Let’s go.”

We went to the pathway near the Gisaeng House again to check on the lion statue, just in case. Thankfully, the ashes were still on the ground where we’d burned the damn thing down. This meant that the lion statue wouldn’t reappear- it was a good sign. We could continue on with the plan. I would be home soon, and all of this will have come to an end.

Afterwards I met with Sulli alone, and we drank tea while talking and I watched her paint. She was an incredible artist. Sulli held it up for me to see- the painting depicted two different colors- midnight blue and fiery orange- as they seemed to collide and join together.

“It’s the moon and the sun,” explained Sulli, “Or water and fire. See their eyes? They can also be seen as two gods kissing. Perhaps the sun god and the night god.”

I smiled. “It’s very interesting. There are many ways to interpret the painting’s meaning, huh? But which one is correct?”

“They’re all correct. Just take what you see, Ren. Don’t question the world so much. I’ve learned now that everyone sees things in their own way, because that’s how we’re different.” She set the painting down and came over to me, her face only an inc away from mine. “Once you stop and see the universe for what it really is, only then can you see true beauty. Do you see it, Ren?”

“I see all the beauty the universe could offer me, right before my eyes. You are true beauty, Sulli.”

“I am not Sulli,” she whispered.

My hands gently touched her back. “No. You’ll always be Sulli to me.”

She kissed me then, her lips soft against mine, and suddenly the only thing I knew of was her.