~Ren~

My days were full of studying and hanging out with Taehyung and the other guys. He’d been easily accepted into our group by JR, Aron, Baekho, and Minhyun. My life now followed a set routine of the same old things, but sometimes I broke it to go to the bridge near my house. It wasn’t nearly as red or beautiful as the bridge in the Spirit World, but it was where I went to clear my head.

Today I was missing my other half a lot. Some days I was too busy to really think of her, but other days she was often all that crossed my mind. Not a day had gone by that I didn’t wear the sun and moon necklace that she’d given me as a gift. And on bad days or empty nights the only thing that would really make me feel better was reading the note she’d written me. I pulled it out now.

To Ren (Choi Minki)

My eternal love, if you are reading this then it means that you’re probably missing me. I’m probably missing you too. After all, if you’re gone, then what light will shine on my days? I used to be almost content being in the Spirit World, but ever since I lost everything and was sent away from you and V, my life has become dull. You’re the only escape that I have. When I see your face it’s as if every worry gets washed away and you pull me in with your bright personality. You really are like the sun. That’s why, even if you have bad days or empty nights, don’t be sad or lonely. Smile and laugh when you think of me the next time, and every time from now on, because I want to remain as a happy memory in your mind. As long as I exist, you are in my heart the way the night holds the stars. Don’t forget me, Ren/Choi Minki, but also move on with your life. Since you’re back in the human world where you belong, make the most of it and take care of your health. Eat well and get enough sleep. Don’t cause any trouble, and earn good grades so you can go to university, find a job, and make a living. And then one day, when you’re ready, find yourself a wife and be happy with her. Have a lot of kids. Because I don’t ever want you to regret anything, please do as I say and allow your heart the time to heal and move on from this love. Even so, I hope you remember me far into the future. I hope I will be your strength on bad days, and that your memory of me can be enough to fill up the empty nights. Don’t give up and don’t lose faith. After all, we will meet again one day. I love you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Your moon,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Sulli (Lee Nan Hyang)

I folded the note, putting it back in my pocket, and gazed out at the ocean that was glistening and sparkling. I started crying. She wrote this note when she thought she was still going to exist in the Spirit World. There’s no way she could’ve known what was going to happen to her. Does that mean that she and I won’t meet again?

“The note is like a lie,” I whispered, my tears making my voice tremble. “It’s just a lie made up to comfort me and cover up my selfishness of leaving her behind.” That’s when I heard a voice calling to me in the distance. Could it be…?

Sulli?

I gasped, and the only thing I heard in the whole world was her beautiful voice,

“I love you, and am always with you…When you are sad or lonely, then remember me from time to time. I am your strength. Don’t cry anymore. Our love will live on eternally, as the wind, as the ocean, as the vast blue sky. Just look and you can find me anywhere, Minki. I’m your angel. I’m your moon. I’ll watch over you and ensure your safety. So don’t be scared!”

My hand flew to my mouth, sobs racking my body uncontrollably. I still couldn’t stop crying, even though she didn’t want to see me cry. I was a baby. I wanted her back so badly that it hurt. I wanted to feel the warmth of her hands, her hair, and her arms around me. I needed her. “I miss you more than ever, Sulli! I’ll never forget you! You’re my world! I loved you in the Spirit World and I still love you now! I’ll love you forever!” I cried to the wind, to the ocean, to the vast blue sky. Was she listening? Could she hear me now?

I felt relieved to hear from her after so long. I thought back to many months ago when I’d first returned to the human world, and I’d seen that white butterfly. That really was her! I calmed down and wiped away my tears, promising myself that I’d be stronger from now on. Sometime later, I was walking on the bridge and going back to my house, but the promise of her presence watching over me made me want to stay outside a bit longer.

I loved Sulli, even though she was gone forever. I would never see her face again, or hold her hand. I would never again hold her in my arms. But still I loved her. Feelings like that wouldn’t just fade away so easily, and I knew that. I understood that I had to be strong and move on like she told me to. It was the only way to keep living and to be happy, but again like she wanted me to, I would keep her in my heart in a special place. Even if I moved on in the future and fell in love with someone else, she was going to remain as a happy memory in my mind.

My phone started buzzing in my pocket. I pressed it to my ear. “Hello?”

“Ah, Minki!” It was Taehyung.

“Ah, Taehyung! What’s up?”

“I’m so bored today. We should hang out, just the two of us, like old times! What do you say?”

“Sure,” I chuckled. “I’d love that. I’m free, why don’t you come over now?”

He laughed. “Okay. I’m on my way.”

I hung up and smiled at the sky above. It was spring now. The flowers were in full bloom, and the grass was a bright green. I couldn’t help but wonder what it was like for Sulli. Was she at peace? And would I hear her voice again, calling out to me like it had today?

I’m looking forward to it. Sulli, I’m sorry that you died in such pain. Hopefully now you’ve found peace. And you’re right, when I feel the wind blowing through my hair, or gaze across at the sparkling ocean, or look up at the vast blue sky, I feel your spirit everywhere I go. Thank you for giving me a beautiful love like this.

She was my eternal love.