~Sulli~

My eyes opened to the filtered light coming into my room from the window. I sat up, wrapped in my blanket and unable to remember what happened the night before. I was going to paint something and planned to ask the Head Gisaeng if I could have today off. I silently cursed myself for falling asleep and quickly made my way out of the room to see her.

“Oh, Lee Nan Hyang,” the Head Gisaeng greeted me. She was dressed up and had her makeup already on, perfect and resembling a porcelain doll. “What do you need?”

I bowed. “I ask for the day off. My friend is leaving to go on a journey and will not be back for awhile,” I lied. “Pease let me spend today with him.”

“Who is it?”

“His name is Ren.”

“The boy who comes here sometimes to see you? I remember he came with that other friend of yours, the one who loves fashion.”

“Yes.”

She sighed. “Fine. But today is the only day off you’ll get for awhile, understand? And I’m doing this because Ren sure is gorgeous. Too bad he’s not an official. If he was, I would get to have a piece of him, too. But you don’t like sharing, huh?” The Head Gisaeng chuckled.

I forced myself to smile, but really, I was getting irritated by her comments that definitely weren’t needed. “Thank you.” I hurried back to my room and got ready, changed into a purple and black Hanbok and donned my Gache and Jeonmo. I colored my lips and cheeks red and my eyelids a mix of shimmery purple and brown. I opened my jewelry chest, pulling out a silver and gold necklace that had a sun and moon shaped pendant with the letters S & R inscribed. Then I set off down the pathway, carrying the tiny black velvet pouch that held Ren’s parting gift, and breathed in the crisp, sweet air. It was a beautiful day. It’d been so long since I’d ventured out of the Gisaeng House, and it seemed just fitting that today be the day to break my record. It felt wonderful to walk and be surrounded by the green trees and hills and colorful flowers. I finally reached the city, and stood at the steps of the Palace of Lights, looming up over me in all its shining gold beauty and elegant designs. It was almost heartbreaking to be back at the place that had been my home for centuries. Maybe deep down, it would always be my home.

I entered and met with all of my former co-workers, who were both stunned and delighted to see me again. Krystal and the crew bounced over to me, pulling me into their embraces.

“We missed you so much,” Krystal was saying.

“Nobody here has forgotten you,” added Luna.

“How have you been?” Victoria asked.

“You never visit,” Amber complained.

 “I’ve been fine. I missed you all too. I’ve just been really busy with my new life as a gisaeng.” I kept glancing at their uniforms and felt so out of place. I longed to wear the female staff member uniform again- the light blue skirt, white buttoned shirt, stockings, and flats. It’d been so long since I’d last worn it.

“Well, you look gorgeous!” Krystal grinned, a hint of jealousy in her eyes. I was jealous of her for still being able to work as a staff member, but she didn’t know that.

“Thank you, girls.” I walked down the hallway and my eyes searched for Ren- I finally spotted him scrubbing the floors with water, soap, and rags. I offered my hand to him.

His head snapped up, his eyes wide. “Sulli!” he exclaimed in disbelief. “How did you get here? Did you walk all the way to the palace? You must be so tired.”

“That’s right. I came here for you. Let’s spend today together, Ren.” I smiled.

Ren grabbed my hand and got up, leaving behind his chores. “Hey Key,” he called out to a staff member. “If Headmaster asks, tell him I’m out running errands in the city!”

We left and went to our favorite place- the lake. I sat down next to him by the sparkling blue water. “I have something for you,” I said, handing him the black velvet pouch. “Open it.”

He opened it and pulled out the gold and silver chain necklace, his fingers running over the smooth, shiny surface of the sun and moon pendant had S & R on it. “It’s amazing,” he whispered, blushing. Then he reached inside for the note I had wrote to him.

“Here, let me put it on you.” I fastened the clasp around his neck. “And don’t read the note until after you leave, okay?”

“Why?” his voice sounded puzzled.

“When you return to the human world and miss me, then you can read it.”

Ren hugged me, his arms wrapping tight around me, his shampoo scent enveloping me. “Thank you, Sulli. I love you so much. Do you know? I always needed you.”

“I know. I love you too. And I’ll be needing you forever as long as my spirit exists in this universe.”

“I’m so glad that it was you who found me that day. I liked you from the start, but I was unsure of my feelings and I didn’t know how you would react to me liking you. You’re my angel,” he whispered in my ear, and kissed me.

I didn’t want him to leave me. I felt selfish, but the idea of spending the rest of eternity without him tortured me. “An eternity is too long,” I murmured, leaning my head on his shoulder.

“I’m always with you, even if I am gone.”

After some time, we went to V’s restaurant to spend the rest of the day with him. V had one of his friends cover his shift so he could come sightseeing with Ren and me. The three of us walked all over the city, eating street food and stopping by in all of the shopping markets. Spirits were all around us, selling things and buying things. We watched dances that were performed by spirits in the city square, and then we played in the water fountains, splashing water on one another. We visited the sacred temple of the Spirit World and prayed for Ren to have a safe journey home and for all of us to be in good health and happiness. We prayed for peace and calmness and for the strength to overcome the upcoming hardships that we would face. When the moon rose up in the black night sky, V returned to work and Ren and I headed back to the Gisaeng House.

“We’re back inside of this prison,” I joked half heartedly.

Ren smiled faintly, holding my hand tight as we walked down the hallway to my room. Laughter and the clink sound of glasses reached our ears. It was a lively night, even for the other gisaengs. Inside my room, Ren sat down at the table while I set up my sleeping place of my blanket and pillow on the floor.

“How does it feel knowing you’ll be going home soon?” I asked him.

He thought for a moment. “I’m nervous, sad, and excited all at once. I don’t know if I should cry or laugh. I almost can’t believe it.”

“Why not? I promised to get you out of here, didn’t I?” I smiled at Ren.

“Yeah, you did. But I wasn’t prepared to fall in love with you.”

“I wasn’t prepared for that, either.” The moonlight from the window shone through, illuminating our figures. “You’re the sun, Ren. And I’m the moon.”

“Who’s the stars?” he chuckled.

“V,” I giggled, “And the rest of our friends.”

Ren suddenly came in front of me. “You’re so beautiful.”  

I felt myself blush. The way he was looking at me, I felt , as if all my secrets and riches were laid out for him to take. “So are you.”

Then his mouth was on mine, my hands twisting in his soft blond hair, his hands feeling up and down my body. There was a sense of urgency in our kissing, because this would be our last night together. Soon enough, we were both lying together, our bare bodies entangled, sharing our breaths. I shut my eyes and leaned my head down on the pillow as he covered me in sweet little kisses. I took the pleasure with the pain, knowing this was something entirely beyond bliss.

When the sun rose on the horizon and the sky was painted in the colors of the rainbow, we both got dressed and waited for V and Shaman Deo to arrive. Our night was over, and now it was time to say goodbye.

 “I love you so much,” he replied. “Thank you for your help. You found me and now you’re returning me to where I belong.”

“I love you,” I said. “I love you as much as I love the sky. Be safe, Ren, and return to your family and friends in good health. I wish you all the best. Live a noble life.”

Ren touched the pendant around his neck. “My sweet moon.” He kissed me goodbye, tears falling from both of our eyes and giving me a salty taste in my mouth. When they arrived, Shaman Deo and I sat on the floor in the center of the room and V went over the plan one last time.

“Good luck,” I called out, and V grinned and turned around to wave at me.

“Good luck to you too!”

Then they left, and neither of them looked back again. I did my best to focus on casting the spell on Ren and not on the way my heart was slowly shattering into a million scattered pieces. Shaman Deo nodded at me and helped me wherever I forgot the words to the spell. I followed her in her chanting and shut my eyes, allowing myself to be taken away to a place of my mind. I was now connected with Ren through our minds and spirits, and I could feel a new sense of energy throughout my entire body like electricity. My soul leaped out of my body and flew outside, leading Ren and V to the big red bridge. I was flying! It was incredible. I felt all the sensations within myself, and somehow I knew exactly how to take them there. Then suddenly the connection was severed and a sharp pain surged through me. I opened my eyes, back in my real body, and gasped for breath. Shaman Deo opened the door and let someone in to join us- it was…was that Headmaster? Headmaster Leeteuk?

“Hello, Lee Nan Hyang, my lovely little gisaeng,” he greeted me. Ah. It was him. He was wearing his imperial robes and his golden hair was perfectly spiked. His image was swimming in and out of my view; black dots were spotting my vision and making it difficult to make out much of what I was seeing.

I sunk down on my back, my hands at my throat, as I continued gasping for air. It was like I was suffocating. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to scream for help, but there was no oxygen left in my lungs.

His image flashed in front of my eyes once more. Then everything faded to black.