VIII.

The temperatures kept steadily dropping as the days moved on. Finger and nose tips refused to stay warm despite great effort and Chanyeol’s ears remained stubbornly cold; wild and peony pink. Kyungsoo had commented them with a smile before offering a beanie. The small minutes of outside walking from and to in the musts of life had both of them shivering many hours after. 

The apartment too became a lot colder and with persistent winter winds finding ways through the windowsill cracks the two roommates struggled long and hard with the dull mornings. Neither wanted nor saw any point in getting out of the beds they respectively had gotten warmed after many hours shivering. Kyungsoo would eventually staple out on weak legs leading down to thick socks. He would later wake the groaning Chanyeol too; shaking him before ripping off the thick winter-duvet in annoyance. Buying kimbap and melon milk at GS25 they would hurry to the busstop hiding in thick jackets.

***

They along with the boys found some comfort in the insulated library and would spend long hours working on essays in the dimmed light. It was old and vast; filled with books regarding everything to nothing and thereby leaving the typical scent of old literature. Kyungsoo especially enjoyed the silence; forever dreading obnoxious loudness hindering his flow of thought. Chanyeol on the other hand easily became restless and with joy would come up with small errands; buying drinks and snacks. 

Kyungsoo was the first to complete his essay and with a content sigh would lean back and sink further into his chair. Baekhyun would usher the younger to help him but turned out to be rather unskilled at pursuing the doe eyed boy who simply raised his eyebrows mockingly. Turning to the two tall youngsters sitting and doing anything but studying Baekhyun soon joined them in heavy phone gaming.

After examining the trio with a peculiar expression of distrust Kyungsoo turned back to notice a large pair of eyes drifting. Offering a small smile Chanyeol leaned in. ”Do you think you could help me a little?”

Trying to display the same face as earlier the younger soon faltered in a light sigh. ”Maybe — what do I get in return?”

Strangling a laugh Chanyeol scuffed closer and hummed low in thought. ”A wish?”

Kyungsoo frowned. ”A wish? — What kind of wish?”

Chuckling Chanyeol shrugged his shoulders while displaying a small smile too hard to decode. ”Anything? —  Just help me finish this so that we can go home.”

Still suspicious Kyungsoo let out an exhale of defeat. ”Fine — What do you need help with?”

***

Feeling a sting of heat rushing over him Chanyeol began explaining the lousy and awfully uninteresting concept he was struggling with to the younger who was leaning in closer to catch a glimpse of the documents in the older’s large hands. Chanyeol tried to not stare but failed to do so when admiring the length of Kyungsoo’s eyelashes and faint frown when reading. He figured the younger’s eyes might be hurting due to the long hours of studying without proper glasses; letting a sigh slip by he made the mental note of buying aspirins before turning in for the evening. 

Similarly to previous occasions when studying together Chanyeol found it extremely hard to focus on anything but the small male beside him. Forever noticing new traits of the younger Chanyeol blinked slow as he examined the faint traces of teeth in Kyungsoo’s pulp bitten lips. He tried to dismiss the thoughts of marking that same lips with his own teeth but without any luck. Unable to hinder the daydreams he was caught of guard when the smaller turned to ask him about different bits of information regarding on who said what in this and that document. Swallowing thickly Chanyeol felt unsure of how to remain sane if Kyungsoo would keep enchanting him with such small methods; he was forever and always beautiful. Chanyeol found himself wondering if such fact was a treasure or simple tragedy.

***

Coming home several hours later both were shocked by the utter cold dominating their cramped apartment. Unable to disperse his deep frown Kyungsoo went straight to the heating meters and let out a groan of despair when realizing the scanty floor heat was already at it’s pain limit; raising it with only one degree would make the bills impossible to pay. 

Going out once again Chanyeol returned with a bag full of heating pads and packs for them both. Entering he was quite shocked when greeted by the younger busy with rearranging the whole livingroom area.

”Help me move the couch!” Kyungsoo demanded without explanation; still wearing his bulky jacket and deep frown. Puzzled Chanyeol kicked off his shoes and went inside.

”What for? What are you doing?” 

Seemingly annoyed the younger let out a long sigh of exhaustion. ”Here is the warmest place.”

The confused expressions still remained as Chanyeol put down the plastic bag on the coffee table already pushed aside. ”— And?”

”If we don’t want to get pneumonia we have to sleep here.” Kyungsoo explained as he pushed the couch as far back as he could; too impatient and stubborn to neither wait for help nor approval. 

Asking the younger questions turned out to be hopeless due to his dull headache and annoyance. Knowing they were unable to adjust the heating system accordingly he was more than dead set on making sure he’d still manage to get a few hours of sleep. Chanyeol soon helped him with their beddings; silent and somewhat wide eyed. Forcing the younger into a warm shower he cooked some spicy ramyun and prepared an aspirin. 

Fifteen minutes later dressed in multiple layers of soft fabric Kyungsoo offered him the first smile in hours. Taking the pill and settling beside the older they ate the noodles leaning against the couch while watching a pointless late run drama. While Kyungsoo did the dishes, despite Chanyeol’s pleas to let it be until the next day, they were soon both resting tiredly on the madras covered floor.

***

Kyungsoo was heavy and slow: exhausted from both mental and physical restraint he had endured in the terrifying cold. Chanyeol too was tried; but not enough to hinder unwanted thoughts to seep into his mind and color it with lush coveting. Listening to Kyungsoo’s faint breathing made his insides swirl and soon jumble in confusion when the focus of his adoration suddenly scuffed closer and wordlessly crawled upon his madras to later settle underneath the considerably warmer duvet. Kyungsoo adjusted slow with small coughs and freezing toes soon grazing the taller’s legs.

”Kyungsoo?” The older asked but almost immediately regretted doing so when feeling the smaller go rigid beside him.

”Yeah?” His voice was almost soundless; making Chanyeol obliviously move closer to detect his words.

”You okay?” The older asked now twisting his long neck to steal a glance of Kyungsoo’s sharp profile in the obscure room. As so many other times the younger seemed hesitant before replying; as if he required time to think instead of feel.

Humming he rolled over to the side; hyper aware of the older’s gaze. ” — Just cold… Sorry if I woke you up.”

Feeling a stream of electricity roam within him Chanyeol swallowed clumsily before gripping the smaller’s frame and pulling him into a somewhat uncertain embrace. ”Here — I’ll warm you up.”

When not noticing any signs of refusal Chanyeol’s arms softened and gently soothed closer around Kyungsoo’s now and then trembling frame. The younger sighed and tried to fight the demons of his mind forever accusing him for crossing line after line; over and over again. He damned himself for constantly pressuring Chanyeol into formations similar to this; helplessly counting the older’s quickening hard heartbeats against his shoulder blades. What did the distress truly come from? Was it even a possibility it had roots in similar forests as him or did such hypothesis belong to the forbidden? 

Kyungsoo tried his best to strangle each thought with little success as Chanyeol’s breathing changed pattern; slower and deeper. Resting in his secure embrace Kyungsoo too soon fell asleep; lulled by the softness and warmth of his tender friend yet tortured by the uncertainty hovering like a darkening cloud. Little by little his heart melted in it’s inevitable innocent longing for love.

***

Waking up by the crescendo alarm of Chanyeol’s phone both shifted slow; grimacing while groaning low in displeasure. With a fumbling hands the older switched it off in a matter of seconds before falling back into Neverland; obliviously pulling the still disoriented younger closer with a deep sigh. Kyungsoo on the other hand felt a yawn stretch his jaw as reality began to unravel before him ever so slow. The first thing that grasped his attention was the comforting scent; Chanyeol.

Slowly he awakened in aching difusion; adoration mingling with horror as his nose swept across the older’s clothed collarbones. Being in each other’s arms was not foreign though not commonplace enough to lessen the swirling within. Faint snores breezed against the crown of his head; the taller seemingly had no aspiration to wake up nor attend lectures. 

With Chanyeol sleeping the younger could examine the feeling of his touch unnoticed. He could not decide whether it was the sole best or worst thing he had experienced; Chanyeol’s rising and sinking torso steadily brushing against his with thighs tangling an ounce too far up. He felt conflicted and utter shameful laying there feeling all the things he was never meant to be allowed to feel; bursting want for the young man named Park Chanyeol.

When the alarm set off for the second time both were startled; the older set in instant movement for as his large hands gave up grazing the younger’s back and nape to find the unbearable source of disturbance. He soon managed to end the loud noises and with a long exhale settled back into his previous position; this time though awaked at last. He shifted subtly; he too becoming aware of the intimate position shared with the younger.

”We have to get ready.” 

Kyungsoo broke the silence with a sigh yet remained still in the older’s embrace.

”Do we really? — What do we have today?” Chanyeol’s voice was deeper than usual; raspy and humming. He closed his eyes once more; enjoying Kyungsoo less than a heartbeat away.

”The essay thing — ” The younger proceeded to untangle himself but was hindered by Chanyeol’s impatient groans.

”But we finished that yesterday! Let’s skip today — It’s so cold please let’s just sleep.”

”We can’t skip — ”

” — Please?” 

Kyungsoo gave up with a sigh; settling back into Chanyeol’s long arms. ”Fine.”

Chuckling the older scuffed down an ounce; lips obliviously grazing the smaller’s forehead. They became quiet as breaths drew longer yet again though neither managed to doze off again. Kyungsoo soon cleared his weakened throat to let out a shaky exhale inches from the older’s predominant Adam’s apple.

”Chanyeol?”

”Mm?”

A small silence. ”Is this okay?”

A long silence; both processing the soaring and worried sincerity in Kyungsoo’s low chords. 

”Only if you feel that it's okay.”

Kyungsoo swallowed hard and Chanyeol waited; his heart beating harder. Unsure of what to read into it all he felt equally unsure of what he could exclude. Kyungsoo sighed; soothing his frown yet not completely convinced.

”… Okay.”

***